UPDATE: Roosh has announced that he is cancelling all the meetups. For more see my post here.
Numerous We Hunted the Mammoth operatives have informed me that Roosh Valizadeh, the pickup artist and rape legalization proponent who is apparently trying to start a second career as a “neomasculine” cult leader of sorts, is planning dozens of meetups around the world, from Birmingham, Alabama to Taiwan, all scheduled for next Saturday.
While the meetups aren’t literally secret, Roosh is organizing them like a CIA operative planning covert ops. Or at least like a ten-year-old boy playing secret agent.
On his blog, he tells his fans that in each city where a meetup is planned,
Hosts have been instructed to wait at the meeting point from 8:00-8:20pm before moving on to the final location. If you arrive at the meeting point at 8:21pm, you will miss the meetup. Arriving on time within the window is absolutely paramount.
Ok, Secret Roosh Spy Army: Write “be on time” on a post-it note. Memorize it. Then eat the post-it note.
If you find you cannot memorize these instructions the first time, prepare and eat as many post-it notes are necessary until you can recite the instructions out loud without referring to your notes. NOTE: Do not actually recite the instructions out loud, as feminist spies may be lurking nearby.
To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.”
Ah, the old “where’s the pet shop” ploy, one of the all time spy classics!
You can then introduce yourself and get details about where to proceed at 8:20. If you ask someone for the pet shop and they appear confused or actually try to direct you to a real pet shop, they’re not there for the meetup.
If the person you have spoken to looks like they might be a secret feminist, and giggles at you, YOUR MISSION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! Shout “abort, abort! The pet shop has a sale on canaries!’
This will alert any other Roosh agents in the area that your cover has been blown. Flee the scene immediately, preferably with your hands waving in the air above your head, shrieking.
In another post, Roosh answers some questions that have come up about his super seekrit meetups.
First off: There will be no girls allowed!
Q: Can I bring a female friend, girlfriend, lover, or wife?
A: Absolutely not. This meeting is for heterosexual men only.Q: Can I come if I’m a homosexual or transsexual?
A: No. This is a meeting for heterosexual men only.Q: What should we do if a pretty girl shows up and begs to be a fly on the wall?
A: Get her number and then tell her to buzz off. Do not allow women to attend the meeting.
Do you see what he did there in the last answer? The bit about buzzing off? BECAUSE FLIES BUZZ.
Q: What if crazy feminists show up?
A: Record them with your camera, upload the footage to Dropbox, and then send it to me at [email protected] afterwards so we can tear them up. If accosted during the meetup, travel to the final venue in pairs or triplets using an indirect route so the final location is not compromised (make sure you are not followed).
I’m sorry, I have to post this:
Secret Roosh Agents need to be constantly alert!
Q: Have the hosts been vetted? What if they are a secret feminist agent?
A: Again, this has never happened before, so the risk is minuscule. If you remain anxious or fearful of green-haired female activists or male feminists, simply don’t give out your last name or company name during the meetup.
Alternately, and I’m not sure why Roosh didn’t suggest this, give a fake name. Some suggestions, mostly borrowed from here:
- Bo Nerr
- Cole Onnick
- Dick C. Normus
- Dougie Style
- Homer Sexual (Note: May get you kicked out of the meetup. See above.)
- Lou Stools
- Max E. Pad
- Frank Lee Underwhelmedbythesefakenames
And then there’s the question that every new organization faces:
Q: Is this a white nationalist meetup?
A: No. This is a meetup for men of all races and backgrounds who read ROK and my blog. The Tribal Meeting is not a white nationalist organization.
And one more little clarification:
Q: Do permanent tribes have a consistent message that ensures purity of neomasculine thought during the meetings?
A: There is no universal program. Each tribe is encouraged to interpret neomasculinity to suit their local and immediate needs.
ALL HAIL ROOSH PROPHET OF NEOMASCULINITY
Oops, almost forgot this one!
Q: Are you concerned that agents within the various Alphabet Soup groups (CIA, FBI, NSA, CID, NCIS, ETC) may try to infiltrate the tribal meetup?
A: The tribe is apolitical and does not attempt to challenge governmental authority, so I don’t believe we’ll be targeted for infiltration. That said, keep an eye on possible agent provocateurs who advocate for illegal activities out of the blue.
For example, this man, who has been known to advocate making rape legal on private property.
Oh, and bring your cameras!
Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6. I will exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public on that date (remember to record them).
As it turns out, there’s a meetup in Chicago that I could make it to without too much trouble. I plan to attend disguised as a pet store.
How exactly would I pull this off? Well, this woman accidentally cosplayed a hotel, so I think I could manage.
Stay safe everyone! And stock up on fake mustaches.
Oh David, you must have been like “Dang, Roosh is making my life easy today. Hello copy, hello paste.”
I mean, I know you did take the effort to add some extra snark, but really the direct quotes are the funniest thing about this.
I won’t be trying to infiltrate any London meetups, but it’s fun to imagine them sneaking off trying not to be followed while I lurk behind ‘a pair or triplet’ with a copy of Friday’s Telegraph with some eyeholes cut out.
Katz,
If it’s anything like an AVFM meetup, they’ll be getting drunk and singing about how the vaginas of feminists that totally swear they would never have sex with are all gross and stuff.
I could go to the MA meeting super, super easily… Hell, I could probably do so without even playing into the paranoia or faking RoK-worshiping status. Would I want to? Ugh, probably not. And I’m seriously wondering if anyone would even show up if I did try going.
But all this scrounging around in the dark is frikken hilarious. And also “tribesmen.” What… what even is that. Is this the cult identifier he’s going with?
I’ve heard that it’s best to laugh at flashers when they expose themselves to you, as they don’t get to get off on your disgust or fear then. I feel like that could work with anyone infiltrating these meetings. Admittedly, the one time I got flashed, it took me a beat to remember to laugh, so it was kind of awkward. Like awkward beyond the “did I just see that guys scrotum?” part of it.
Sorry to derail a little, but I thought y’all would be interested. Jian Ghomeshi’s trial started today. Live tweets of cross examination of the first witness.
Unfortunately his defence lawyer is pretty much a dragon. Looks like she’s going for the throats of the victims to shake them up and make them give discrepancies.
I am amused that their Very Serious Straight Man’s group is meeting in the gayest part of Washington DC.
@Rabid Rabbit
I’m flattered ;), but a while back we came to a consensus that it set a bad precedent so we all agreed to stop.
@WWTH
They try (and fail so hard) to prove that feminists are ‘just as bad as them’, like that’s the best insult they can come up with.
@dlouwe and WWTH:
I was wondering, actually. What do you think the odds are that Roosh is trying to bait feminists to show up at the meetup locations, and is talking about the real meetup stuff behind locked forums or something?
I almost think he wouldn’t care *that* much, but then again he does seem to be trying to paint himself as the leader of this whole secret revolution thing, so I dunno.
How serious they are just makes it funnier.
If I was planning a theme party that was meant to be tongue in cheek, I could not make this sillier.
…and I once planned a Lost themed scavenger hunt where you had to collect people pretending to be characters from the show and listen to every version of La Mer I could find online.
I’m pretty silly.
Kirbywarped,
I think you over estimate him.
Not that Roosh cares, but that rule only bans the first part of the question, leaving me to imagine a world where he has suddenly become more progressive on trans issues.
Which wouldn’t be that different, since nobody gives half a rat turd what Roosh thinks anyway.
Why would a man who was not a racist white asshole want to meet with these dorks?
Doosh is desperate for support. He hates nonwhite men. But he is happy to prey on them when it suits him.
That’s a lot of effort keeping your location secret to waste by making details public anyway. Does he think people who hate him just aren’t willing to put in the minimal amount of effort it would take to “infiltrate” one of these meetups (note; he might be right), or does he not realize his website is publicly visible?
Also, sure is optimistic of him to assume he has 4 meetings worth of fans between LA and San Diego. And that he has *any* fans in Cambodia.
@Lea:
Yeah, probably. 😛
@Terrabeau:
Unfortunately, you’re giving Roosh too little credit for nastiness. His insistence on “men” is not an indication of being progressive on trans issues. 🙁
I absolutely think they could be trying to bait feminists, but I don’t think they’re giving out fake locations. From the way his followers are talking, it sounds like they want feminists to show up and they want there to be some sort of altercation. They want to (verbally or physically) attack feminists, but they want to feel like they are “justified” in doing so.
And that’s when it stops being funny and starts getting scary.
Ex-pats, presumably.
@ ej
True, true. And they want targets to harass, given Roosh’s insistence on taping anyone who comes to try to protest them.
Can we just talk about this list of locations for a bit? Why does he think he has significant numbers of fans in Chile, Cambodia, the Bahamas, Colombia, China, Hong Kong, Morocco, the UAE, Nepal, Singapore, Taiwan, Thailand and Iran?
Hey, Glasgow peeps! Apparently there’s going to be a peaceful protest on the day of the meetup, if y’all want to get in on that!
They sure talk tough for guys afraid of getting wet.
For men who think women should toughen up about being raped, they’re sure squeezably soft.
Seriously, I am ashamed of how funny I find that.
So “masculine”. Much alpha. Wow.
My 80 year old grandma and my 8 year old daughter are made of much tougher stuff.
My gran would shake these manly men to their foundations on her own. 4th generation at her side? Too spoopy 4 them by far.
These poor fools. They’re trying so hard to look like hot shit, but they can’t hide the craven, creepy, cold turd inside.
Off-topic: Anyone want to beta-read a short story? It’s a little 12-page space opera narrated by a woman and an agender person.
I really want to go and set up a pet shop stall at one of the locations selling nothing but fake canaries.
Trans men are still transgender or “transsexual” as he puts it. I mean, right there, him saying “transsexual” is pretty much showing how un-trans-friendly he is considering transsexual isn’t used at all ever anymore.
Him being more progressive on trans issues would probably be him saying “no transgender people” or “cis men only” because at least he would be using actually terminology.