UPDATE: Roosh has announced that he is cancelling all the meetups. For more see my post here.
Numerous We Hunted the Mammoth operatives have informed me that Roosh Valizadeh, the pickup artist and rape legalization proponent who is apparently trying to start a second career as a “neomasculine” cult leader of sorts, is planning dozens of meetups around the world, from Birmingham, Alabama to Taiwan, all scheduled for next Saturday.
While the meetups aren’t literally secret, Roosh is organizing them like a CIA operative planning covert ops. Or at least like a ten-year-old boy playing secret agent.
On his blog, he tells his fans that in each city where a meetup is planned,
Hosts have been instructed to wait at the meeting point from 8:00-8:20pm before moving on to the final location. If you arrive at the meeting point at 8:21pm, you will miss the meetup. Arriving on time within the window is absolutely paramount.
Ok, Secret Roosh Spy Army: Write “be on time” on a post-it note. Memorize it. Then eat the post-it note.
If you find you cannot memorize these instructions the first time, prepare and eat as many post-it notes are necessary until you can recite the instructions out loud without referring to your notes. NOTE: Do not actually recite the instructions out loud, as feminist spies may be lurking nearby.
To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.”
Ah, the old “where’s the pet shop” ploy, one of the all time spy classics!
You can then introduce yourself and get details about where to proceed at 8:20. If you ask someone for the pet shop and they appear confused or actually try to direct you to a real pet shop, they’re not there for the meetup.
If the person you have spoken to looks like they might be a secret feminist, and giggles at you, YOUR MISSION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! Shout “abort, abort! The pet shop has a sale on canaries!’
This will alert any other Roosh agents in the area that your cover has been blown. Flee the scene immediately, preferably with your hands waving in the air above your head, shrieking.
In another post, Roosh answers some questions that have come up about his super seekrit meetups.
First off: There will be no girls allowed!
Q: Can I bring a female friend, girlfriend, lover, or wife?
A: Absolutely not. This meeting is for heterosexual men only.Q: Can I come if I’m a homosexual or transsexual?
A: No. This is a meeting for heterosexual men only.Q: What should we do if a pretty girl shows up and begs to be a fly on the wall?
A: Get her number and then tell her to buzz off. Do not allow women to attend the meeting.
Do you see what he did there in the last answer? The bit about buzzing off? BECAUSE FLIES BUZZ.
Q: What if crazy feminists show up?
A: Record them with your camera, upload the footage to Dropbox, and then send it to me at [email protected] afterwards so we can tear them up. If accosted during the meetup, travel to the final venue in pairs or triplets using an indirect route so the final location is not compromised (make sure you are not followed).
I’m sorry, I have to post this:
Secret Roosh Agents need to be constantly alert!
Q: Have the hosts been vetted? What if they are a secret feminist agent?
A: Again, this has never happened before, so the risk is minuscule. If you remain anxious or fearful of green-haired female activists or male feminists, simply don’t give out your last name or company name during the meetup.
Alternately, and I’m not sure why Roosh didn’t suggest this, give a fake name. Some suggestions, mostly borrowed from here:
- Bo Nerr
- Cole Onnick
- Dick C. Normus
- Dougie Style
- Homer Sexual (Note: May get you kicked out of the meetup. See above.)
- Lou Stools
- Max E. Pad
- Frank Lee Underwhelmedbythesefakenames
And then there’s the question that every new organization faces:
Q: Is this a white nationalist meetup?
A: No. This is a meetup for men of all races and backgrounds who read ROK and my blog. The Tribal Meeting is not a white nationalist organization.
And one more little clarification:
Q: Do permanent tribes have a consistent message that ensures purity of neomasculine thought during the meetings?
A: There is no universal program. Each tribe is encouraged to interpret neomasculinity to suit their local and immediate needs.
ALL HAIL ROOSH PROPHET OF NEOMASCULINITY
Oops, almost forgot this one!
Q: Are you concerned that agents within the various Alphabet Soup groups (CIA, FBI, NSA, CID, NCIS, ETC) may try to infiltrate the tribal meetup?
A: The tribe is apolitical and does not attempt to challenge governmental authority, so I don’t believe we’ll be targeted for infiltration. That said, keep an eye on possible agent provocateurs who advocate for illegal activities out of the blue.
For example, this man, who has been known to advocate making rape legal on private property.
Oh, and bring your cameras!
Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6. I will exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public on that date (remember to record them).
As it turns out, there’s a meetup in Chicago that I could make it to without too much trouble. I plan to attend disguised as a pet store.
How exactly would I pull this off? Well, this woman accidentally cosplayed a hotel, so I think I could manage.
Stay safe everyone! And stock up on fake mustaches.
I’m thinking this can’t be serious in any way, shape or form. These guys must just be desperately hoping that mobs of enraged feminists will read about these meetups and show up at the meet sites howling for the “tribesmen’s” blood.
Then the lone troll, alias “host”, who reports to each site will record the local howling mob in their frenzy of frustrated bloodthirsty rage and post the video, and all the “neomasculinists” will feel vindicated and gleeful about how they pranked the eeevil feminists.
The fact that nothing about this scenario bears even a shred of resemblance to any events that are even remotely likely to actually happen is not, in my view, an argument against the hypothesis that it’s what these dorks are expecting to happen.
However, if this hypothesis is correct, it would show that at least the Seekrit Roosh Spy Amry folks have some semi-conscious awareness that the people who agree with their views are overwhelmingly outnumbered by the people who think they’re basically garbage.
Hahaha oh god, I just, I can’t. This clown and his fellow clowns just crack me up.
Wow, Johnny Rivers made a guitar, a bass, and a drum set sound like a guitar, a bass, a drum set, a piano and a three-piece brass set, and all without any leads! What an amazing artist!
THE CHATTANOOGA MEETUP IS IN FRONT OF A DOLLAR GENERAL STORE
I CANNOT
I HAVE NO CAPACITY
ESPECIALLY FOR BREATHING
OT: I saw Juicebro is now tweeting at Dawkins with racist talking points. Because nothing says Big Important Silverback Gorilla Alpha Male like desperately trying to get the attention of an older, infinitely more famous man on Twitter.
I wonder what would happen if some people dressed up as budgies, puppies, ornamental goldfish, etc., turned up?
I emailed both the Arts Court and the girls email list at my work. Hopefully one email gets a meeting shut down, and the other keeps some people safe.
Looked at some comments on that meetup post on the site David linked to, and I think I may have called it.
“Le happy merchant”: “[…] It’d be cool if a few galling feminists materialise to harangue arbitrary men in the big cities, imagine the sick bantz a gang of right wing reactionary trolls from the internets can drop on the blue haired freaks.”
“Morrison”: “BTW now that the opposition knows the meeting points and the code phrase, whats to stop them from disrupting a meetup?”
“NonCanadian”: “The will and fists of those who’ll be present at the meeting. […]
Please, tell me, why y’all seem to be so afraid of an open confrontation with the “opposition”? May be time has come to set a precedent and show that males can be just that-MALES, and protect OWN grounds? […]”
“Morrison”: “[…] Just bear in mind these SJWs will be armed with video cameras and will make photos and surely be posting them. […]”
“NonCanadian”: “[…] It might be wise to have own cameras ready in case the situation heats up. And be ready for a physical altercation, BUT always remember to defend first and strike second!
Let SJWs do the dirty job and be the attackers, let them show their true colors! And be ready to film it!!!!
I ain’t saying that it’s bound to happen and honestly hope that it’s not the case, but it’s always better to come prepared.
SJW’s attack is most likely to happen in Canada, USA and may be somewhere in Western Europe, with North America being the most vulnerable place. […]”
Apparently, the oppressed manly men of the United Arab Emirates feel the need to have this secret meetup. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_rights_in_the_United_Arab_Emirates#Emirati_women
Or this is another grandiose fantasy of a sad little man.
My theory is the secrecy is intended to conceal the inevitable failure. If they can’t be counted, he can claim any number he wants.
And then this happened…
http://www.smh.com.au/national/supporters-of-antiwoman-group-return-of-kings-to-meet-in-sydney-20160201-gmikrh.html
(SMH stands for Sydney Morning Herald, one of the major daily newspapers in Australia.)
It’s a pity Doosh isn’t coming to one of the Australian meet ups – we have a pretty good record on throwing out scumbags just lately!
Oh, and there’s a meetup point in my home town of Melbourne too – I’m otherwise engaged that night, but I’m fairly sure I could get through their ‘tight’ security with a fake beard, a la the stoning scene in Life of Brian.
(Picturing the organizers, later that night, suspiciously asking a group of bearded ‘men’ “Are there any women here?” has given me a fit of the giggles)
Damn damn damn. The Birmingham-area meetup is mere blocks from my front porch. I would *so* love to go cause some trouble…but I have an 8 pm curtain time and a show to run that night.
The weasel is in the doghouse, I repeat, THE WEASEL IS IN THE DOGHOUSE.
Operation Catnipsalad is a go!
Ahem, anyways. It seems the commentators are aware that the world knows of the ‘secret code’, yet they don’t even acknowledge the possibility that someone could infiltrate their operation.
Instead, they’re too focused on fantasies of this ‘epic confrontation’ between them and the eeeeeeeeevil SJWs!
Shit, all I have to do is go there and ask where the pet shop is. I might even show up with my camera and recording device
@Scaly Llama
Hah. I get the reference XD
EDIT: Compeltely ninja’d by @Kimstu and I totally think you’re onto something there.
I scrolled straight to the New York meetups since I live upstate and um…
A whole bunch of single dudes loitering near the playground. That won’t raise any eyebrows.
So I just saw this on tumblr.
And as serious as it is (and kudos to them for leading with the “legal rape” bit), they did lead with this picture, and I got a bit giggly:
http://40.media.tumblr.com/f1cbe10dabd42d9e66acbfa764833008/tumblr_inline_o1vnlbQShi1tyoc9j_1280.jpg
I don’t know what’s more hilarious, the money in his hand, the fact that the picture seems to have been taken on an iPotato, or the look on his face.
If they’re male, and they’re looking for a pet shop, are they Pet Shop Boys?
With apologies to Pet Shop Boys fans
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRHetRTOD1Q&w=560&h=315%5D
@WWTH:
Gasp! How dare you reveal the true name of Our Dread Lord Moocow! Katie have mercy on you.
@Moocow: If you’d like me to stop with the Walter-jokes, seriously, just say so, I will. And not because of your natural penile authority, just because.
Wow, one of the meeting spots is in the mall where I work. That’s kind of terrifying!
…Or, it would be if the mall doesn’t close at 6 on Saturdays. Hope they enjoy huddling together in the dark in the middle of Canadian winter. Well, probably not huddling for fear of violating the “no homo” clause.
Cheers!
Damn, I’m hosting RPG night on Saturday. Otherwise, I would definitely go to the Montreal meetup, just to troll the people there. Although I’m not sure I can handle spending a whole evening listening to these dudebros. Maybe I should notify a few of the local groups who took quite a dim view of Roosh’s conference last year.
@Kimstu
It really sounds like they’re just looking for an excuse to be violent and inflict physical harm on people that disagree with them.
This is not the thinking of someone actually worried about being attacked. This is someone who wants some sort of lazy “justification” to hurt others. What do you think the chances are that he doesn’t understand the concept of “proportionate response”?
I’d love it if people with cars in those cities who can park near the meeting places did so while wearing dark glasses and holding cameras. Why not prod the paranoia a bit?
@DrNicolaLuna:
I’m going to the London one. I’ll dress all John Le Carre-ish and loiter around.
From the comments Kimstu posted, it looks like they’re really hoping extra hard for this to cause roving bands of feminists to come out and assault random men in cities all over the world.
Somehow, I doubt that will happen.
The manosphere has to work to try and incite harassment and violence from feminists. Feminists have to work to try and avoid harassment and violence from MRAs and PUSs.
Maybe Roosh and his fans are the baddies here, not some oppressed minority struggling against female oppression. Just a silly theory I have.
I find it interesting that he needed to specify that this is, in fact, not a White Nationalist meeting. He’s concerned that his followers may actually think that.
If you are worried that your followers are going to confuse your men’s meetup with a White Nationalist meetup, maybe you’re posting the wrong kind of content on your site.
Is there any plan for what they do once they get to their destination, if all goes according to plan and hordes of angry feminists don’t show up?
I meant PUAs, not PUS. But I’m not editing the typo because it’s just too apt.
Roosh will declare victory no matter what happens, the bar has already been set so low it can’t help but happen.
1. The meet-up plan gets so much negative attention that it’ll be unworkable
“HA HA, look at my brilliant viral marketing”
2. Counter-protestors/infiltrators outnumber the actual Roosh fans
“Brilliant trolling! Look how much the feminists care about me.”
3. Barely anyone shows up
“Great success, the evil feminists couldn’t stop countless (COUNTLESS!) followers of mine from organizing. We’ll build on this.”
It’ll be pathetic, but can be seen a mile away.