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Where is the pet shop? Roosh V Plans Secret Meetups, Announces Locations on Internet

If you attend one of Roosh's meetups, come prepared!
If you attend one of Roosh’s meetups, come prepared!

UPDATE: Roosh has announced that he is cancelling all the meetups. For more see my post here.

Numerous We Hunted the Mammoth operatives have informed me that Roosh Valizadeh, the pickup artist and rape legalization proponent who is apparently trying to start a second career as a “neomasculine” cult leader of sorts, is planning dozens of meetups around the world, from Birmingham, Alabama to Taiwan, all scheduled for next Saturday.

While the meetups aren’t literally secret, Roosh is organizing them like a CIA operative planning covert ops. Or at least like a ten-year-old boy playing secret agent.

On his blog, he tells his fans that in each city where a meetup is planned,

Hosts have been instructed to wait at the meeting point from 8:00-8:20pm before moving on to the final location. If you arrive at the meeting point at 8:21pm, you will miss the meetup. Arriving on time within the window is absolutely paramount.

Ok, Secret Roosh Spy Army: Write “be on time” on a post-it note. Memorize it. Then eat the post-it note.

If you find you cannot memorize these instructions the first time, prepare and eat as many post-it notes are necessary until you can recite the instructions out loud without referring to your notes. NOTE: Do not actually recite the instructions out loud, as feminist spies may be lurking nearby.

To identify your fellow tribesmen, ask the following question to a man you suspect is there for the meetup: “Do you know where I can find a pet shop?” If you are asked this question, answer in the affirmative: “Yes, it’s right here.”

Ah, the old “where’s the pet shop” ploy, one of the all time spy classics!

You can then introduce yourself and get details about where to proceed at 8:20. If you ask someone for the pet shop and they appear confused or actually try to direct you to a real pet shop, they’re not there for the meetup.

If the person you have spoken to looks like they might be a secret feminist, and giggles at you, YOUR MISSION HAS BEEN COMPROMISED! Shout “abort, abort! The pet shop has a sale on canaries!’

This will alert any other Roosh agents in the area that your cover has been blown. Flee the scene immediately, preferably with your hands waving in the air above your head, shrieking.

In another post, Roosh answers some questions that have come up about his super seekrit meetups.

First off: There will be no girls allowed! 

Q: Can I bring a female friend, girlfriend, lover, or wife?
A: Absolutely not. This meeting is for heterosexual men only.

Q: Can I come if I’m a homosexual or transsexual?
A: No. This is a meeting for heterosexual men only.

Q: What should we do if a pretty girl shows up and begs to be a fly on the wall?
A: Get her number and then tell her to buzz off. Do not allow women to attend the meeting.

Do you see what he did there in the last answer? The bit about buzzing off? BECAUSE FLIES BUZZ.

Q: What if crazy feminists show up?
A: Record them with your camera, upload the footage to Dropbox, and then send it to me at [email protected] afterwards so we can tear them up. If accosted during the meetup, travel to the final venue in pairs or triplets using an indirect route so the final location is not compromised (make sure you are not followed).

I’m sorry, I have to post this:

Secret Roosh Agents need to be constantly alert!

Q: Have the hosts been vetted? What if they are a secret feminist agent?
A: Again, this has never happened before, so the risk is minuscule. If you remain anxious or fearful of green-haired female activists or male feminists, simply don’t give out your last name or company name during the meetup.

Alternately, and I’m not sure why Roosh didn’t suggest this, give a fake name. Some suggestions, mostly borrowed from here:

  • Bo Nerr
  • Cole Onnick
  • Dick C. Normus
  • Dougie Style
  • Homer Sexual (Note: May get you kicked out of the meetup. See above.)
  • Lou Stools
  • Max E. Pad
  • Frank Lee Underwhelmedbythesefakenames

And then there’s the question that every new organization faces:

Q: Is this a white nationalist meetup?
A: No. This is a meetup for men of all races and backgrounds who read ROK and my blog. The Tribal Meeting is not a white nationalist organization.

And one more little clarification:

Q: Do permanent tribes have a consistent message that ensures purity of neomasculine thought during the meetings?
A: There is no universal program. Each tribe is encouraged to interpret neomasculinity to suit their local and immediate needs.

ALL HAIL ROOSH PROPHET OF NEOMASCULINITY

Oops, almost forgot this one!

Q: Are you concerned that agents within the various Alphabet Soup groups (CIA, FBI, NSA, CID, NCIS, ETC) may try to infiltrate the tribal meetup?
A: The tribe is apolitical and does not attempt to challenge governmental authority, so I don’t believe we’ll be targeted for infiltration. That said, keep an eye on possible agent provocateurs who advocate for illegal activities out of the blue.

For example, this man, who has been known to advocate making rape legal on private property.

Hey Ladies!
Hey Ladies!

Oh, and bring your cameras!

Up to now, the enemy has been able to exert their power by isolating us and attacking with shrieking mobs, but we’ll be able to neutralize that tactic by amassing in high numbers come February 6. I will exact furious retribution upon anyone who challenges you in public on that date (remember to record them).

As it turns out, there’s a meetup in Chicago that I could make it to without too much trouble. I plan to attend disguised as a pet store.

How exactly would I pull this off? Well, this woman accidentally cosplayed a hotel, so I think I could manage.

Oh, that's embarrassing!
Oh, that’s embarrassing!

Stay safe everyone! And stock up on fake mustaches.

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littleknown
littleknown
8 years ago

Not that I have any desire to — they have, after all, made all of their noxious views quite public — but I feel like infiltrating one of these “tribes” would be incredibly easy. How hard is it to come up with a BS story about how some girl you were in love with got bored, cheated on you with a bad-boy, got back on drugs and alcohol, etc., etc., etc.? And then you found ROK, focused on yourself, and got your life back together?

It’s a lot easier to infiltrate a group if your ideological opposition to them doesn’t come from a strawman interpretation of their views (a la 4chan attempting to create a fake feminist conference), but from actually knowing exactly what they think.

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
8 years ago

If one of you male mammotheers does decide to infiltrate, please consider giving the name “Hugh G Rection.” Rooshites will be fooled because they will they think you are one of the glorious leaders of the cockocracy and couldn’t possibly be a male feminist mangina.

kupo
kupo
8 years ago

Note to self: dye hair green this weekend.

Mikkay
Mikkay
8 years ago

Shit. I just dyed my hair green. There goes my undercover feminist spy career. On the bright side can now be an undercover meninist spy, my green hair will earn feminist’s trust.

Imperator Kahlo
Imperator Kahlo
8 years ago

purity of neomasculine thought

Smh

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
8 years ago

ò.Ó

I just looked at the listings for Germany.

Seven meetings, three of them in Bavaria! And two of those rather close together. Würzburg and Nürnberg are about 40 min apart by car. And Munich is about 2h south of Nürnberg.

Quite the cluster of awful, I’d say.

If I were a man I’d be tempted to show to point and laugh at them.

BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
BoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoinkBoink
8 years ago

Huh my son just dyed his hair blue…what does that make him? Is there a Social Movement Color Palette Chart somewhere I can reference?

justlikeheaven
justlikeheaven
8 years ago

I looked at the listings. Im pretty scared how close one is in Cincinnati. Given Roosh’s views I really dont like the thought of knowing his drones live around me.

dhag85
8 years ago

If only we could find ONE feminist who doesn’t have green hair! Grrr, thwarted again by Roosh the Genious.

GiJoel
GiJoel
8 years ago

I’d go but the weather here is far too hot for a trench coat and a fedora.

dhag85
8 years ago

@GiJoel

If you don’t want to wear a fedora, a wig is also accepted. This is known as going “Toronto style”.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
8 years ago

@justlikeheaven, they are everywhere :c At least there is a positive side to this – if they start gathering more openly, at least you’ll be able to identify who they are and avoid them!

Catgalaxy
Catgalaxy
8 years ago

And someone should wear a helmet with a bullhorn and flashing light attachment to lead the panicked Rooshers to the exits!

Dr. NicolaLuna
Dr. NicolaLuna
8 years ago

Wow, I’ll actually be in London at that time and will be walking distance from the green park meet up. So tempted to go there and hold a pint of beer while standing near them to watch them quake in fear!

katz
8 years ago

Meh, closest to me is downtown. Not worth finding parking.

eyesopen
eyesopen
8 years ago

I saw this the other day and I could hardly read it out loud to my husband for laughing. There is one near me, I am so tempted to go – just to see what they look like and maybe even follow them to their secret den. Oh no, what is happening to me, I am a middle aged woman (actually that could be a huge advantage as I would be totally invisible to Roo-shites!).

Why the secrecy? Are they ashamed? Is Roosh trying to create a climate of fear in women who may be reading his website?

Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
8 years ago

Well, I have a gray vest that resembles the markings of a DMC DeLorean, and with the right pants and shirt, I could stand next to other cars and blend in with the cars… So I can do the whole thing like the woman did in the last picture.

Or even better, I can don the wool hat and granny glasses I own along with my vest get-up and claim that I am a guitarist of an Irish pop/rock band… Nobody would by on that kind of Edge to realize that I’m really just another one of those feminist maginas!

Playing Secret Agent is so much fun!

Kularanini
Kularanini
8 years ago

Well, one of the meet-ups is next door to the University of Toronto. It wouldn’t be hard to get students to dress up in fake mustaches, sunglasses and trench coats and troll the hell out of these people.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
8 years ago

Do you think they post out in the open because they greatly overestimate their computer skills and underestimate other people’s or that they want people to know so that way the people might disrupt them so they can video record that shit and “tear them up”?

latsot
latsot
8 years ago

His opsec is truly impressive. He could have given advice to Ed Snowden.

dhag85
8 years ago

@Dr. NicolaLuna

Non-flammable beer, I hope!!!

dlouwe
dlouwe
8 years ago

I could make it to the one in Vancouver but I’m going to be busy doing literally anything else.

Jamesworkshop
Jamesworkshop
8 years ago

This will alert any other Roosh agents in the area that your cover has been blown. Flee the scene immediately, preferably with your hands waving in the air above your head, shrieking.

When in deadly Danger,
When beset by Doubt,
Run around in Circles,
Wave your arms and Shout.

comment image

katz
8 years ago

“The spotted cuckoo bird is flying backwards?”
“It’s a cold day for pontooning.”

ScarlettAthena
ScarlettAthena
8 years ago

Wait, no “wear a pink carnation on your lapel” or “Carry a copy of Mein Kampf” or something? Bogus!

Anyway, what are these meet-ups supposed to be about? Just men kvetching about women in person instead of on the interwebz?

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