In PurplePillDebate — that surreal subreddit in which Red and Blue Pillers seek common ground — one alleged woman offers a rather original solution to the problem of acquaintance rape, telling women who are afraid of being raped by someone they know that they should only hang out with guys they think are hot. Because then if one of them decides to rape you, hey, at least he’ll be good-looking!
Here’s the, er, logic that led lauren_collins to this conclusion:
i haven’t read any rape stats and never met anyone who was raped as far as i know, but from what i understand, stranger rape is pretty rare. like a guy dragging you into an alley way. i’d imagine its especially rare in urban (city, not black) areas where there is a lot of foot traffic so stuff like that is harder to get away with. because the chances of someone walking by, seeing it, and intervening are much higher.
Today I Learned that stranger rapes only happen in dark alleyways, and also that women never have to walk through dark alleyways.
anyway, i’m assuming that most rapists are actually acquaintances / friends / relatives of the victim.
Well, ok, at least that bit is true.
so my question is why do you hang out with people you don’t wanna have sex with?
Oh dear. This isn’t going anywhere good.
like if you’re more likely to be raped by someone you socialize with rather than a stranger, doesn’t it make sense to only socialize with attractive men? so that if you are forced to have sex, it will at least be with someone you like.
Uh.
How does that even
this question is specifically for women who think all men are potential rapists.
Yeah, that doesn’t really help.
edit – imagine if you were forced to work construction because your education level prevented you from getting an office job, wouldn’t it make more sense to live in a city with warm weather? like ya, you’re doing work you don’t wanna do, but it could be worse. i don’t wanna work outdoors, but i’d rather work outdoors in san diego than anchorage. just like forced sex is bad, but its not as bad if the guy is good looking.
Yeah, that doesn’t really help either.
To their credit, most of the commenters in the PurplePillDebate thread are at least vaguely horrified by Lauren’s er, logic, though it is perhaps a little telling that the only person in the discussion who openly proclaims himself to be a Red Piller thinks that “this would be a sensible policy for women to follow. But of course ‘muh freedoms’.”
I honestly can’t tell if Lauren is a troll or not. She’s posted a bunch of rather boring and non-trolly comments in other threads, which suggests she’s either real, or a very dedicated troll.
Of course, she also posted this thing that totally really happened yeah sure:
one time my ex and i were smoking a joint in his backyard when his neighbor smelled it, came up and yelled at him for it, and later told his mom about what happened. his mom grounded him for a few weeks, he more or less got over it, but i was furious. his neighbor was an older guy, kind of fat, poorly groomed. and i thought basically “how dare this 3 raise his voice to an 8?”
Uh, really?
so i defecated in my hand and rubbed it all over the neighbor’s car windshield.
You did what now?
Ok, maybe Lauren is a troll. Or a monkey.
H/T — r/TheBluePill
I’m gonna agree with the Degrassi Hypothesis and say this person is a troll–maybe not a satire troll because I don’t think they would use number systems for that, but a troll nonetheless.
Cheers”Lauren”, for that abhorrent premise that rape is the inevitable result of men and women being friends. Just what we need.
@Paradoxical Intention:
Knowing the manosphere mindset — “ephebophilia” = good; rape-victim = probable liar, and/or “damaged goods” — it was probably both.
And re: that other awful idea to come out of the Purple Pill — I didn’t mention it in that thread, but in my experience, people who have been through awful things are often better at seeing things for how they are.
It’s not something I would ever wish on anyone, and yes, a victim might have things to work through; but holy fuck, it’s certainly not something that would make someone unattractive as a partner.
I’d certainly much rather be with someone who cares deeply about consent than a lauren_collins.
The halo effect! A lovely cognitive bias, which we are all subjected to. It is a sneaky fish that swims in muddy waters. Fortunately comes with a handy visual aid to help in identification, more often than not.
My reaction to Lauren is
@ scildfreja
That was very interesting; and thank you for the linking 🙂
It also confirms why the ‘good looking defence barrister’ thing works.
Brilliant, Lauren. For example, a man mugged me in Los Angeles on a street that had lots of cars whizzing by. No foot traffic. That was my error.
It didn’t even occur to me that he wanted my money. All I could think was that he would drag me into the adjacent parking lot, rape me, and kill me. Luckily, he just wanted my money.
But now that I think about it, he was reasonably attractive. So yeah, that didn’t hurt at all.
Interesting how Lauren implies that only black men are ugly and rape strangers, isn’t it?
Glad you made it out relatively unscathed. I hope you’re doing well.
@ Alan
The other depressing aspect of the “attractive defendants getting off rape charges” is a systemic issue with the legal system, and it is this: we all assume we are better at detecting lies than we really are, and that perception of reliability increases when we can see the person’s face. In fact, seeing a person’s face significantly decreases our reliability to detect any lies they might tell (unless we have a lot of specialist training). As average Joes, we are actually much better at detecting lies when we can hear a person’s voice, but not see them.
In total honesty, I believe juries should never be able to see either the defendant, the counsel on either side, or the witnesses. Juries should sit behind a wall and be able to see only the judge and court staff during the trial.
Being aware of this, I’ve started closing my eyes for the “Three Little Lies” game and I almost always win now 😉
Little known:
Yeah, that doesn’t make any sense. The robbery wouldn’t have been more acceptable if they were white, so why would she hate to describe the robber. Oh, thats right! Some people believe that simply mentioning another person’s color is somehow wrong. I’ve encountered this hilarious, but puzzling, reasoning a lot lately, and only ever from white people.
Bryce:
Now remember, you have to keep in mind that not only can you not be friends or acquaintances with a feeemale, you can’t be a stranger to her either.
Some of those guys believe seem to believe that a woman who is merely wandering into the one mile radius of an adult male, is asking for it.
Scaly Llama: I’ve been doing that for a while now. It’s how I knew Susan Smith was lying about her kids being taken. Whenever she came on TV, something struck me as not right. It wasn’t until I started closing my eyes while she spoke, that I put my finger on the problem. I didn’t know what she was lying about, but I could tell she was lying about something.
@ Lkeke
There’s a tv programme over here called ‘Question Time’. A panel of politicians take questions from the studio audience.
It’s a bit of a joke that the host will say things like “Question from the gentleman over there. No, next to the lady in the red dress. Not that one, the other lady, the one with the brown hair. No, not you, a few rows up. Not you sir, the gentleman behind you….”
And you just end up screaming “You can say ‘the black gentleman’; he’s not going to mind!!!!!”
@ Scaly Llama
The possible exception for visually determining deception accurately is watching the body language–I.e., the neck down. In my opinion, it’s easier to detect arrogance via this method (“ha ha, I’m too smart for you to catch me).
It’d be interesting to test that out: vocal versus neck-down view versus full view and see how good regular people are at lie detection.
@ scaly
That has cropped up a few times.
There was a discussion about whether blind people could serve on juries (decided that yes they can) and whether defendants and witnesses could wear a full veil (still arguing about it)
The perception is that you need to see someone’s face to make a proper assessment of credibility.
For a full discussion about legal procedure versus scientific research check out the thread we had the other day with Scildfreja et al.
@ Lkeke35
What made me determine Susan Smith was lying were four things: her arrogant body language (from the neck down), her “forced emotion” tone of voice, the inconsistencies of her story, and her lips were often strained and pressed together. The first three were the biggest signs to me.
Funny, too, how she (or “she”?) seems to tacitly assume that there are no black people living and working in the suburbs, or rural areas. That they’re only in urban areas, and thus implicitly responsible for the blight that’s said to afflict them all (and white city planners have NOTHING to do with it, either!) A most asinine assumption, and just the sort of thing one expects from a Red Pillock.
Not THIS white woman, but I can only speak for myself.
Personally, though, I’m more afraid of white men, because I’m around a lot more of them, and I know for a fact that they’re no angels.
Whilst there is some evidence that people are good at spotting lying; this does throw up some dangers where people don’t conform to ‘normal’ patterns of behaviour.
There are certain expectations as to how people will act based on our own behaviour. If someone falls outside that then it can be harder to judge; sometimes with dire consequences. The Barry Bulsara case is a famous example here. He turned out to be a totally innocent but his ‘oddball’ persona on being interviewed attracted suspicion and led the enquiry down a false path. The public perception of his reactions was the same.
There’s a similar thing with rape victims. People assume that, because they would react to being raped in a particular way, a woman who doesn’t conform to that must be making it up. Judges now give juries a little bit of direction on ‘rape myths’ and that includes a warning that not all rape victims will break down in tears and the mere fact they seemed calm and rational afterwards isn’t to be seen as evidence that they didn’t undergo a traumatic event.
“never met anyone who was raped as far as i know”
This is enough to convince me that this person is not a woman.
I would presume that most of us here aren’t racist and don’t run in racist social circles, so we wouldn’t encounter the “black men rape white women” attitude much if at all. Further, I would presume that it’s more of a thing that racist white men fear than racist white women. But that’s just a guess.
I was confused at first because I thought she was about to claim that cities weren’t urban but then of course it turned out just to be good old racism. I don’t feel safe around crowds full stop. My job means I’m away from people 70% of the time. More people = more risk. That said I get the most fear when I see Paul elam types with weird beards and red faces strutting down the boulevard. I guess I’m just weird elam beard prejudice.
lkeke35
“I also like that little smidgen of bigotry she threw in there at the beginning, about how stranger rape doesn’t occur in cities, except in the areas with black people.
Okay, I am deeply deeply confused. I’ve been black my whole damn life, I’ve even been around strange black men , and a few of them who weren’t…
Do white women (although this is an assumption that the writer is white of course) really think like this? That if they’re merely in the orbit of black men, they will get raped? Not that I’m not concerned about the issue, but is this what’s going through white women’s heads, all the time?
If so, the white women I hang out with, hide their fear remarkably well”
I for one have never, ever felt threatened by a person of colour, of either sex. Except for a few hours ago on the train when this one guy called me a ‘racist cunt’ because I looked behind me when I suddenly heard loud music (it was coming from him). But he is the exception to the rule, and had everything to do with misogyny and nothing to do with ‘reverse racism’. Every other time a man/boy, who-followed me, called me a cunt, dog, bitch, barked at me, threatened to beat me up/kill me-has been white. Maybe privilege breeds entitlement?
Of course it was! Can you imagine how much worse those poor women would feel if they had been sexually assaulted by someone who looks like Ron Jeremy? /sarcasm
In all seriousness, I just can’t wrap my head around the “logic” of some people, even if it is just a troll.
TO ADD-
I shudder to think about how these guys treat people of colour, especially women of colour. I imagine that what they put me through pales in comparison to what these men/boys treat women of colour.
(I would have added this sooner, but my phone died just after I sent the first comment)
I just remembered the worst example of ‘good looking’ rapists that I know about personally.
Trigger warning for rape and extreme violence.
I knew someone who was raped by her half brother when she was 19 and he was 27. He had just done a 5 year sentence for assaulting a woman. He raped my friend and throttled her unconscious, and beat her head on the floor. She did not report until the second time because she knew her mother would reject her for it.
She went to the police after the second time and he was done for rape, incest and attempted murder. He was found guilty, but only by a majority verdict. This woman said she could see who were the 2 jurors that did not think that he was guilty – they were both young women, seeing him as good looking, and this somehow meant he couldn’t also be a vicious rapist. She told me that their faces changed when they heard about his previous crime, and one of them started crying.
He got a life sentence.
Ellesar- I am so sorry your friend had to go through that! And her own half brother, too. I am glad that piece of shit of a half brother is rotting behind bars, though. What a disgusting human being. I hope he never gets released.
As an asexual, I will now take this advice and never interact with anyone ever again.
But I suppose ace folks and other LGBT+ people are a non-entity to folks like these, so according to Lauren this goal should be quite easy to accomplish, as I don’t exist.