In PurplePillDebate — that surreal subreddit in which Red and Blue Pillers seek common ground — one alleged woman offers a rather original solution to the problem of acquaintance rape, telling women who are afraid of being raped by someone they know that they should only hang out with guys they think are hot. Because then if one of them decides to rape you, hey, at least he’ll be good-looking!
Here’s the, er, logic that led lauren_collins to this conclusion:
i haven’t read any rape stats and never met anyone who was raped as far as i know, but from what i understand, stranger rape is pretty rare. like a guy dragging you into an alley way. i’d imagine its especially rare in urban (city, not black) areas where there is a lot of foot traffic so stuff like that is harder to get away with. because the chances of someone walking by, seeing it, and intervening are much higher.
Today I Learned that stranger rapes only happen in dark alleyways, and also that women never have to walk through dark alleyways.
anyway, i’m assuming that most rapists are actually acquaintances / friends / relatives of the victim.
Well, ok, at least that bit is true.
so my question is why do you hang out with people you don’t wanna have sex with?
Oh dear. This isn’t going anywhere good.
like if you’re more likely to be raped by someone you socialize with rather than a stranger, doesn’t it make sense to only socialize with attractive men? so that if you are forced to have sex, it will at least be with someone you like.
Uh.
How does that even
this question is specifically for women who think all men are potential rapists.
Yeah, that doesn’t really help.
edit – imagine if you were forced to work construction because your education level prevented you from getting an office job, wouldn’t it make more sense to live in a city with warm weather? like ya, you’re doing work you don’t wanna do, but it could be worse. i don’t wanna work outdoors, but i’d rather work outdoors in san diego than anchorage. just like forced sex is bad, but its not as bad if the guy is good looking.
Yeah, that doesn’t really help either.
To their credit, most of the commenters in the PurplePillDebate thread are at least vaguely horrified by Lauren’s er, logic, though it is perhaps a little telling that the only person in the discussion who openly proclaims himself to be a Red Piller thinks that “this would be a sensible policy for women to follow. But of course ‘muh freedoms’.”
I honestly can’t tell if Lauren is a troll or not. She’s posted a bunch of rather boring and non-trolly comments in other threads, which suggests she’s either real, or a very dedicated troll.
Of course, she also posted this thing that totally really happened yeah sure:
one time my ex and i were smoking a joint in his backyard when his neighbor smelled it, came up and yelled at him for it, and later told his mom about what happened. his mom grounded him for a few weeks, he more or less got over it, but i was furious. his neighbor was an older guy, kind of fat, poorly groomed. and i thought basically “how dare this 3 raise his voice to an 8?”
Uh, really?
so i defecated in my hand and rubbed it all over the neighbor’s car windshield.
You did what now?
Ok, maybe Lauren is a troll. Or a monkey.
H/T — r/TheBluePill
This just seems to be an MRA equivalent of Viz Magazine’s ‘Top Tips’; but without the humour.
Because it’s only bad if the person forcing you into unwanted sex is ugly!
Pardon me while I be sick for a moment and then feel nothing but contempt for this person for the rest of the day.
This just seems to be an MRA equivalent of Viz Magazine’s ‘Top Tips’; but without the humour.
Yep, spot on.
Sure, if I don’t have the education or skills to get any job other than construction I can absolutely afford to pack up and move myself to someplace warm.
Also, I only ever hang out with people who are bangable. That way, if my friends punch me in the face, at least they look good doing it.
Uh, because the vast majority of people are people we might have to deal with, or just enjoy being with, in a nonsexual manner? Because sex isn’t everything, and thus sexual desire shouldn’t be the driver of our every human interaction? Just a wild and random guess.
Uh, that doesn’t help. I can like someone, even like him A LOT, and still not want to have sex with him.
Also, I’ve stopped liking guys — even attractive ones! — who pressured me for sex that I didn’t want. How about THEM apples?
Oh boy, a straw-feminist question! I haven’t had one of those in AGES!
Okay, this is just absurd. Not everybody can afford to move to places they’d like to be, or work at jobs they’d like to do. You’re assuming that everyone has a huge banquet of options to choose from, when in fact their options are limited by a lot of things. Including, above all, the money that would give them some mobility in the first place.
Same goes for picking the people they wind up interacting with. Often, you’re not given a choice. You have to grit your teeth and bear the person at the office who keeps leaving religious pamphlets on your desk, or the friend who likes TV shows you don’t, or whatever.
And by that token, the same goes for guys you hang out with. Not everyone you find attractive is going to feel the same towards you, and vice versa. See how that works?
Well, there’s your problem, then.
Perhaps you should bone up on those things you haven’t read, and meet those people you haven’t met.
And before you do that, just stop suggesting daffy “solutions” to problems you clearly don’t understand. YOU’RE NOT HELPING.
You should cross streets in the richest part of town because if you get hit by a car it’ll at least be a fancy one.
I’ve often thought it would be fun to troll as an MRA. Just say the most absurd thing you can think of, then keep getting more absurd until people stop believing you’re for real. Bonus points for how many real MRAs you can get agree with you. MRAs are so full of shit that I bet it would take a while. But, of course, you’d eventually have to say some legitimately horrible stuff about people who are victims of horrible crimes, which is not worth a few internet yuks.
Well now it all makes sense, amirite?
http://33.media.tumblr.com/e37e1cb1af7c4cf3e57ad9bde289722f/tumblr_inline_mzsb7vacpV1s4dy2l.gif
I don’t even want to know if that was deliberate.
The other ridiculous thing about this? There are a lot of people working in construction who work in construction solely because they want to, and prefer working outdoors. We’re talking here like there is no choice in working in construction. It isn’t really the original statement I’m objecting to, since that person is obviously making idiotic analogies, but the fact that everyone here seems to take that at face value. We have a construction school at the college where I teach, and the students there are very enthusiastic and want to go into construction, they are not forced into it by bad circumstances. Not all people want desk jobs.
The levels of wrong in the OP are just…off the charts. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone actually say out loud that you should really only spend time with people you’d like to have sex with. I’m about 99% sure that the person who wrote the OP can’t actually believe the stuff they wrote, although there is that nagging little doubt…
Wow. That’s just such a horrible thing to say. Everything about it is so wrong. The idea is just so weird. Really they just constantly try anything to deny that rape is wrong.
O/T @loquora
Lurve that gif! Are you a MSTie too?! Did you support Joel’s Kickstarter to bring it back? So exciting!
Wow… that was a large steaming pile of something. Not worth the pain in my hands to write a rebuttal so just going to shake my head sadly.
@JoeB
I snort-laughed in the most unattractive way.
So, this might be a coincidence and not some sort of code, but Lauren Collins is the name of an actress. She played Paige on Degrassi the Next Generation. Paige was acquaintance raped by a guy who she considered hot. I don’t know if that means anything and I don’t know if I am a loser for knowing the names of Degrassi actors off the top of my head.
True dat. And some people even like working outdoors in cold weather, but trust our ditzburger OP not to get that, either.
I’m just picturing the ER doctors and what they’d say to this:
“Welp, this one’s DOA.”
“Yeah, but at least they managed to get the imprint of a Mercedes hood ornament on their chest beforehand.”
Brownie points in heaven, no doubt.
Okay, so Lauren…
– only seems to have awareness of rape culture though statistics that she hasn’t read, instead of as a daily experience,
– believes that you can choose all of the people you associate with, instead of being forced into situations by work and responsibilities,
– her ‘ex’ being grounded by his mom was, like, the worst thing ever you guys,
– and an appropriate response to this is windshield poopin’,
– and, of course, she uses the MRA trend of grading people on a ten point scale according to their appearance.
So, based on that, I’m gonna guess that Lauren is wearing the privilege goggles of… 14 year old boy? Something like that.
Anyway. Gross.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/2062337/mst3k-is-not-amused-o.gif
inklast: It wasn’t that everyone was accepting that part of the analogy; it was that by the time they got to that particular error, they’d already become too burned out to pick on that wrongness, too.
That said, your complaint raises yet another problem–by definition, no one ever wants to be raped. (Rape fantasies exist, yes, but only as a role-play thing, not an actual desire to have sex against your will–or to rephrase it as a tautology, not a desire to have sex against your desires.)
*******
Another note–being raped by someone you find attractive and a suitable potential partner (if the situation arises in a mutually consensual fashion) is often considered worse than being raped by someone you would never consider it with. I can’t count the number of times I’ve spoken with women who felt some degree of self-blame for their rape, specifically because they thought they might have been giving ‘signals’ to the guy. The betrayal of trust factor is infinitely higher, here, since the victim’s guard is usually lowered when around someone they trust and are considering in that light.
In short, to hell with this shit, and may the person who wrote it step on all the Legos.
Whoa. I’d say that given the subject matter, it’s a tad more than merely…significant. It pretty much blows the OP’s whole idiotic point out of the water, is what that does. Because if you can consider someone hot and still find “sex” with them undesirable, well…it kind of makes the whole “high-value partner” hypothesis of not-rape a bit silly, doesn’t it?
I now wonder if this person meant to be trolling the Red Pillocks, and is just waiting for someone to go “Hey, wait a minute…” If that’s the case, them being pillocks and all, that person’s got a long wait ahead of them.
I want to fire that shit into the sun. I cannot even.
If people only ever hung around people they wanted to have sex with, no one would ever work, go to school, volunteer, or have social hobbies.
Also, mathematically, it doesn’t work. Hot people would have tons of less attractive people wanting to hang around them – but they wouldn’t want to hang around the less attractive people lest one of them turn out to be rapey, so they’d look for hotter friends, who in turn wouldn’t want to hang around them lest they get raped, and so on. It would end up being one big hotness pyramid scheme.
The only way it would work is if people of equal attractiveness associate with one another. Or a mixture of differently attractive people who aren’t shallow and sex-obsessed. Then you’re back to square one, where it’s almost as if the hotness of the perpetrator *isn’t* a mitigating factor in rape, assault, catcalling, and other crimes against bodily autonomy.
The newest MRA hero, folks– or might be if he wasn’t suspiciously dark.
http://pittsburgh.cbslocal.com/2016/01/22/police-investigating-deadly-shooting-of-woman-in-homewood/
COOL STORY, BRO.
Oh sorry, “Lauren”. Who is totally a girl, yup. Because girls who are so status-conscious that they would quantify people’s looks in numbers are totally into pooping in their own hands and rubbing it on windshields, and can get away with doing so unnoticed.
(Trollmonkey it is.)
I find the whole idea of “Hotness” as a factor in a relationship to be annoying. I have a poor gauge of hotness, apparently – I tend to rate everyone i see as being ‘pretty attractive’ and at this point in my life I don’t talk about it at all, since my friends and relatives get all shocked and argumentative about it. The idea of rape or sexual harassment being okay ‘because they’re hot’ is disgusting and bizarre to me. I really just don’t get it at all.
I for one support the Degrassi Hypothesis. Anyone familiar with the show know whether she had a friend who got caught for smokin’ a joint or something?
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/552/744/89b.gif