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Red Piller goes ballistic over the word “ladyballs”

No balls for you, ladies!
No balls for you, ladies!

As every dedicated Red Piller knows, women are always taking our stuff. Our money, our children, our hobbies, our jerbs jobs, you name it. And now, according to one Red Pill Redditor, they’ve come to take our balls!

Well, the word “balls” anyway.

In a post today on the Red Pill subreddit, a fellow calling himself Rasalom72 complains that he keeps “[s]eeing the term “Ladyballs” popping up around.” Even though LADIES DON’T HAVE BALLS. (Well, if you ignore all those trans women who don’t get genital surgery, but, hey, you can’t expect Red Pillers to think much beyond their own dicks.)

Anyway. ladies are going around saying “ladyballs,” and this causes Rasalom72 to go BALListic. (Did you see what I did there?)

Let’s let Rasalom72 explain this new form of anti-male oppression:

So I keep seeing this term and every time I see it, I shake my head and think about how very much this applies to us. It’s normal for a guy to say “he’s got balls”, when he does something that is risky, or dangerous…. but women have no such expression…. so why not just do what they always do… steal one from the guys and make it work. (and it doesn’t… it always sounds fucking stupid).

Basically. having to listen to women talking about their ladyballs is like a kick in the manballs.

Lesson here: Don’t expect to have anything (even your anatomy), that women won’t try to co-op for there own ends. Women don’t have powerful gendered phrases because WOMEN ARE NOT A POWERFUL GENDER.

And nothing screams MEN ARE THE MOST POWERFUL GENDER than some dude on the internet whining about women saying “ladyballs.”

Better not tell him about “lady boners,” huh?

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SCH
SCH
5 years ago

Oh grow some ovaries, Rasalom72, and grow up.

Actually I’d love to see him rant about “lady boners,” then get schooled on anatomy like an uneducated dolt who doesn’t get why the term technically does fit. But I guess when you probably can’t get close enough to/with a woman to see how the lady junk works…

Josh
Josh
5 years ago

The mentions of how sensitive testes are reminds me of what Trevor Noah had to say about some fake wannabe macho man on Fox News calling Obama a Pussy:

“I never understood the logic of using pussy as an insult. A vagina can push an entire human out and still work! You sit on a penis wrong and it’s broken!”

mechazawa
mechazawa
5 years ago

@takshak; strictly speaking, those of us with clitorises do experience erections, they aren’t quite as dramatic as the penis variety though, so they can go unnoticed. …’stealth boners’

Dr Hoveiny
Dr Hoveiny
5 years ago

Agree (obviously) with all the above re: the tenderness and vulnerability of balls. But. They do produce testosterone, which is related to risk taking, for better or for worse. Often worse. I think that’s kind of why it’s said. I wonder if castrati took fewer risks though, it’s entirely possible that they didn’t. I’ve heard they were kind of rock stars of their time, what with those angelic voices and ability to have sex without pregnancies.

Cis women make testosterone too of course, but it’s from their adrenal glands and ovaries. Neither of these organs roll of the tongue that well though, so ladyballs it is! Dan Savage says “ova up,” and I appreciate the sentiment, but still.

I also like spine and guts. We all have those. Gutsy can easily replace ballsy. Plus, it evokes that butterfly feeling when a rush of adrenaline pulls blood away from your guts.

Dr Hoveiny
Dr Hoveiny
5 years ago

Agree (obviously) with all the above re: the tenderness and vulnerability of balls. But. They do produce testosterone, which is related to risk taking, for better or for worse. Often worse. I think that’s kind of why it’s said. I wonder if castrati took fewer risks though, it’s entirely possible that they didn’t. I’ve heard they were kind of rock stars of their time, what with those angelic voices and ability to have sex without pregnancies.

Cis women make testosterone too of course, but it’s from their adrenal glands and ovaries. Neither of these organs roll of the tongue that well though, so ladyballs it is! Dan Savage says “ova up,” and I appreciate the sentiment, but still.

I also like spine and guts. We all have those. Gutsy can easily replace ballsy. Plus, it evokes that butterfly feeling when a rush of adrenaline pulls blood away from your guts.

Jurgan
5 years ago

Is anyone else reminded of one of the earliest internet memes, “______ Ate My Balls!” I remember Chewbacca and Mr. T, but there were a ton of these “ball-eating” sites.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

“Brass” is a pretty good stand-in for “balls.” “That was brassy” = “That was ballsy.” “You don’t have the brass” = “You don’t have the balls.”

It doesn’t work 100% of the time, and it’s apparent to me that this is just a bowdlerization of “balls,” but it’s gender-neutral and worksafe.

Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ POM

In England, particularly the North, ‘Brass’ means money (as in the phrase “where there’s muck, there’s brass”).

(Brass is also old criminal slang for prostitute)

Dr Hoveiny
Dr Hoveiny
5 years ago

Also, this from the State.

epitome of incomprehensibility

First thing: Language is metaphor! …I forget who said that. Not Betty White this time 🙂

And if Mr. Rasalom72 is getting all picky about vocabulary, what makes testicles particularly ball-like in the first place? It’s not like they’re two perfect spheres.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

I read an apocryphal account of how ‘balls’ came to signify pugnacity. Pawnbrokers hung a sign with three balls over their doors in early modern Europe (a reference to the Lombard seal, showing three gold pieces). The connection – someone trying to press advantage in negotiations would be compared to a pawnbroker bargaining with a client. “What, you think you got balls?”

It’s almost certainly imaginary, but I like it.

In college, I came across the euphemistic equivalent, “testicular fortitude”. The idea that no testicles = no sticking power is deeply rooted, for some reason. I also discovered that, in late Imperial China, eunuchs came* in two classes – those whose testicles had been removed, and those who had, in addition, had their penes amputated. The second group seems to have had a higher rank, which seems only fair.

*Pun entirely intended.

suffrajitsu
5 years ago

Rasalom here shares his name with a character in the Nightworld series of novels. He’s supposed to be essentially the embodiment of fear, darkness, hatred and all things generally awful in the world, and it’s such an unusual name that I’m assuming this is probably where this Red Piller got his pseudonym from.

Internet misogynists have this bizarre tendency to name themselves after supervillains. See all the Gamergaters pretending to be Bane from The Dark Knight Rises.

Cleverforagirl
Cleverforagirl
5 years ago

Huh, I never found ladyballs problematic cause I always assumed ladyballs = ovaries, ladyboner = clit and the whole works = lady business

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

Lesson here: Don’t expect to have anything (even your anatomy), that women won’t try to co-op for there own ends. Women don’t have powerful gendered phrases because WOMEN ARE NOT A POWERFUL GENDER.

(Echoing Chaltab)

Wait, wut?! Women are not a powerful gender? So men have the power?

THEN WHAT IS YOUR COMPLAINT?

(Echoing Nikki the Bluth Wannabe)

Also, Rasalom72, I’m sure that your balls are powerful. No, really.

But your vocabulary is strictly beta. Learn the difference between “co-op” and “co-opt” before you make sweeping statements about what women (allegedly) want to do with your balls.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

A local business has a store dog, a friendly tail wagger with a broad chest and a powerful jaw who always has a smile on his face. He’s the goodwill ambassador (on a leash) for the block.

The owner of the store (and the dog’s human dad) told us that the dog occasionally tries to mount another dog. In fact, he said, “My dog’s balls were reported to the city.” According to city law, this type of “fighting dog” has to be neutered.

They were able to get an exemption, though, because this dog qualifies as a show dog. So now that he’s registered as a show dog, he’s entering shows–and coming in first place. Not only is he Mr. America, he’s also Mr. Congeniality!

Of course, I flashed on the manosphere when he mentioned his dog’s balls being reported. Isn’t that always happening to them? And isn’t it a tragedy? Because let’s face it–these guys could never be Mr. America. And as far as Mr. Congeniality goes, don’t make me laugh!

Hu's On First
Hu's On First
5 years ago

It’s not like they’re two perfect spheres.

Indeed. They’re actually FLAT. Just ask B. o. B. ….

Epsilon
Epsilon
5 years ago

Funny how Red Pillers perpetually whine how women are weak and whiny, isn’t it?

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
5 years ago

I’ve actually heard the term used, but only about once or twice, and it was used jokingly – in reference to the fact “has balls” or “ballsy” is used as slang for being daring or courageous. Not to mention the “ladyballs” in question were also ovaries.

I thought it was quite amusing, given that, but obviously not this self-pitying asshole…

Samantha
Samantha
5 years ago

Did ya’ll know that there is actually a term that DOES apply to lady parts, and the courage associated, in a way similar to the way “balls” applies to the male equivalent?

Year’s ago, I heard a friend use the term “janies of brass” when referring to a woman’s brave action. Apparently, it is an Irish slang term for ovaries. I love having a word that refers to a woman who acts with courage as having her very own brass janies. After all, why should we think of courage as a strictly male attribute?

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Hu’s On First | January 25, 2016 at 11:48 pm

It’s not like they’re two perfect spheres.

Indeed. They’re actually FLAT. Just ask B. o. B. ….

You mother hugger.

anon
anon
5 years ago

This is a women are powerless and weak crank and not a men are ruthlessly oppressed by the Vaginarchy variant of misogynistic crank?

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

In french, it’s made pretty clear that the association ball = power is due to how they are fragile yet put in plein sight.

Being ballsy in french would be translated by something along the line of “nail your balls on the (negociation) table” with the implication that you’re confident enough to put your weak point in plain view.

I guess it’s an echo to the “grow a vagina” quip, but made by a misogynistic culture instead of an humorist :p

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
5 years ago

Chops for me always implies a particular skill or general flair.
Guts is ok, but I feel a bit squeamish about it, sometimes, ironically, I guess.
Grit. I like grit.

But what we really need is sisu. Not sure that will ever really get general usage in the English language, but it’s the one I use for self pep-talks.

Sisu is a Finnish word that cannot be translated metaphrastically into the English language, loosely translated to mean stoic determination, bravery, guts, resilience, perseverance and hardiness, expressing the historic self-identified Finnish national character.

Epsilon
Epsilon
5 years ago

I like sisu, too. It might not catch on because it’s too close to “sissy”, but who knows.

sevenofmine
sevenofmine
5 years ago

I follow Hearthstone closely on Twitch and it’s a meme to yell in chat “[reckless play] OR NO BALLS”. Another one is “[pointless play] to assert dominance” which refers to playing a card that doesn’t really do anything given the current state of the game just because you can. I always have a chuckle at the idea that the manly plays are the showy but obviously wrong ones. I’ll just be over here making the ballsless, i.e. correct, plays and winning my games, thank you very much.

Lordcrowstaff
Lordcrowstaff
5 years ago

@sevenofnine: oh hey, which server are you on?

@the topic: I wasn’t convinced of the MRAs before, but now I am absolutely sure that they fight for my male rights. I mean, can you imagine living in a world where ladyballs are a thing? That’s almost like Hitler.

However, yeah, balls are weak and vulnerable, but then again, it’s a metaphor. Nobody looks a gift horse in the mouth, and while high water may not stop somebody, hell probably will. I wouldn’t take it too literally.

Saphira
Saphira
5 years ago

Don’t expect to have anything (even your anatomy), that women won’t try to co-op for there own ends. Women don’t have powerful gendered phrases because WOMEN ARE NOT A POWERFUL GENDER.

Yet, starting in the ’90s or so, we started seeing people put “guy,” “bro,” and “man” in front of words to make them seem more manly. Usually the word was a reference to an idea or object considered feminine. Isn’t that co-opting the language to make your gender seem more powerful?

Thanks to the growing view that masculinity is fragile and needs to be protected, we now have the following words in the English language meant to help men feel better about their gender:

-Bromace
-Guyliner
-Manscaping
-Mankini
-Man bun
-Man bag
-Man purse
-Meggings
-Menglish
-Mancation
-Man cave
-Man boobs (had to have that one)
-Any other word or phrase where some dumbshit has added “man” (or other masculine equivalent) to because he thinks it somehow protects his masculinity.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Saphira
Excellent point!

Because if a guy carried a bag (not a “man bag”) and had a close male friend (not a “bromance”), his balls might fall off. Then he’d turn into a woman and have to relinquish the man-crown that crowned him King of All He Surveyed. And that would be haaaaaaard.

Can’t have that.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@Saphira:
Insecure people are really easy to market to. It’s the only reason anyone would drive a Humvee, after all.

[RANT]
I have an enormous aversion to the concept of a “bromance.” Are people so suffused with the spirit of No Homo that they’re unable to imagine two human beings having a close friendship without seeing it as romantic? Is our society so desperately alienated as to somehow see “two guys that get on well” as an exceptional thing rather than as the human norm? It’s a frickin’ indictment is what it is.
[/RANT]

sevenofmine
sevenofmine
5 years ago

@ Lordcrowstaff

I main EU and that’s where my collection is most complete but I play on all 3. Seven#11252

sevenofmine
sevenofmine
5 years ago

@ Saphira

I’ve seen the word “mipples” because apparently even having the standard compliment of body parts is feminine now.

Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ EJ

There are some poor misguided people who think Humvees are an acceptable 4×4. The only real cure for such people is to point out that 75th Rangers are replacing their Humvee fleet with Land Rovers.

Epsilon
Epsilon
5 years ago

I’ve heard of “cosmenics” (cosmetics) because of the growing market for men in makeup/cosmetics/skincare.

Gotta protect that manliness, indeed.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Nobody looks a gift horse in the mouth,

That’s not a very good example, because it comes from a literal practice. You look at a horse’s teeth to get an idea of how old it is. It’s a good idea to do this before you buy one that doesn’t have papers, so you can gauge if the person selling the horse is lying to you about how old it is.

Looking at the teeth of a gift horse means you are not appreciating that this animal was given to you for free, and you’re preparing to critique it as if you were buying it for money.

banned@4chan.org
banned@4chan.org
5 years ago

“Also her balls are huge?”

Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ POM

According to various horsey experts, it’s a bit of a myth that you can tell a horse’s age with any reliability from their teeth. It’s the equine equivalent of tyre kicking.

That is however, as you rightly point out, the origin of the saying.

(The weirdest thing about horse ID is that the pictures in their passports are drawings. Are horses camera shy or something?)

Lordcrowstaff
Lordcrowstaff
5 years ago

@POM: I know that it (supposedly, as we just learned) comes from the practice of actually looking a horse in the mouth. However, just like balls are a symbol for power, bravery and whatever (and the inherent sexism of this idea has been discussed here) so is the horse a symbol for a gift that you received.

bluecat
bluecat
5 years ago

@ Robert

Yes, the famous Brass Monkey hanging outside the pawn shops (there’s one two minutes from my door).

One of the possible origins of “cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey”.

(Rather more plausible than the navy expression IMO).

@ topic

I am no lady – just a woman – but I have LOADS of balls. Most of them are fuzzy and squishy.

I’ve got about 7 juggling balls and a heap of balls of wool.

(How’s that for a slogan: yarn bombers have a lot of balls).

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@Alan:
While I am not an expert, I’d question your suggestion that a piece of equipment being bought by the US military is a mark of quality. These are, after all, the people who designed and bought the F-35.

A better argument against the use of the Humvee might be that it was ever, at any point, involved in the US Defence Procurement process.

Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ EJ

It’s the fact that the US Army had to keep borrowing our Land Rovers (designed in 1948) when the Humvee couldn’t cope that illustrates your point. Landies are the best vehicle in the world though; I love them.

Do you ever read Duffel Blog? That has some great F-35 stories. Of course, the fact that the (nearly 50 year old) Harrier Jump Jet out performed the F-35 is yet another example of the same phenomena.

occasional reader
occasional reader
5 years ago

Hello.

Well, at least, i have learnt a word today. Till now, i was thinking that “ladyballs” refers to this adult toy with thin rope and balls that goes in this far planet of our solar system. It is never to late to learn, yeay !

Have a nice day.

maghavan
maghavan
5 years ago

Wait, wut?! Women are not a powerful gender? So men have the power?

THEN WHAT IS YOUR COMPLAINT?

Right?

It reminds me of the time some guy delusional oddball named Adam Yoshida wrote, without irony, “the weak will never pass up an opportunity to oppress the strong”.

I almost felt bad for the guy. It’s got to be work to be that self-deluded.

“It’s not fair that all these weaklings keep kicking my ass!!!”

Cyberwulf
Cyberwulf
5 years ago

@EJ re “bromance”:

Are people so suffused with the spirit of No Homo that they’re unable to imagine two human beings having a close friendship without seeing it as romantic?

It’s less “two human beings” and more “two men”. You see, feelings are for the weak. NO TIME FOR FEELINGS if you are a REEL MAN, says our society. The only feelings you have must come from your penis (because trans men might as well be invisible) unless you are a dad in which case it’s okay to be all Papa Wolf about your babies. But you can’t actually connect with another man who’s not related to you on any deep platonic level. What are you, some sort of WOMAN? So we tack a b onto the beginning of “romance” to signify a deep friendship that is totally not sexual or gay, bro, it’s totally manly and shit.

Monzach
Monzach
5 years ago

“Sisu” really is the best word in the world. It has so many connotations in Finnish, not just braver and guts, but also a relentless stick-to-it-ness. Basically, “sisu” gives the impression that while a person is tough and brave, they’re also pretty much too stupid to know when to quit. 😀

“Sisu” and “sauna” are the two words in Finnish that have very few equivalents in other languages. Which probably says a lot about us Finns. ô.Ô

Bina
5 years ago

RANT]
I have an enormous aversion to the concept of a “bromance.” Are people so suffused with the spirit of No Homo that they’re unable to imagine two human beings having a close friendship without seeing it as romantic? Is our society so desperately alienated as to somehow see “two guys that get on well” as an exceptional thing rather than as the human norm? It’s a frickin’ indictment is what it is.
[/RANT]

Preach. It’s like they’ve never heard of FRIENDSHIP, or the arcane concept of BEST FRIENDS. Which is all gender-neutral. (And I would know, being a straight woman with a gay guy bestie.)

This stupid notion that you have to macho everything up to make it acceptable for men is demeaning, and doesn’t speak much for some guys’ security in their gender if they buy it for that reason. The other day at the pharmacy, I was gobsmacked to see that they were marketing dandruff shampoos that were specifically labelled “for men”. Um, do men get different kinds of flaky itchy scalp, or dry frizzy unmanageable hair, than women do? Are they really so insecure that they can’t be seen buying shampoo for specific hair and scalp types unless it’s also marketed to their manhood?

And then there’s the ridiculosity of lip balm with “tactical grip”…for men. Because man-lips apparently need macho chapstick, or they will shrivel up and he’ll sing soprano for the rest of his life!

Fun fact: If you go to the Googlez, you can start typing “needlessly gen…” and it will autocomplete to “needlessly gendered products”. And Buzzfeed has not one, but TWO separate entries dedicated to such crap. The struggle is real, alas.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago
Bina
5 years ago

“Hecies” and “shecies”? I am officially dead of unholy feminine laughter.

PS: To all dudebros reading this, it’s okay if women laugh as long as they don’t point.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

If we have no power, why is he so afraid of our ladyballs?

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
5 years ago

@Alan, scildfreja:
I’ve actually seen that sort of auto-linking done, several years ago, where a page would hyperlink certain words with two underlines and have a pop-up when you brought the mouse over it.

Unfortunately, the technology was most commonly used for auto-linking brand names to advertisements.

MissEB47
MissEB47
5 years ago

But women DO have balls! They are just internal. Ever heard of ovaries, Redpillock? So ladyballs isn’t really that inaccurate.

Chaltap-he kinda did, didn’t he? He really put his foot in it this time! The whole premise of the red pill philosophy (that women rule everything) undone by six little words-“women are not the powerful gender”. I wonder if they are going to have the same effect as the six little words in Doctor Who “don’t you think she looks tired?”. We can only hope.