The “cuckolding” obsession that has engulfed the nazi-lite alt right now seems to be spreading into Men’s Rights territory as well. In a recent post on the Men’s Rights subreddit that won dozens of upvotes, one anonymous cuck theorist explained his theory that “[w]e live in a cuckolding culture much more than a rape culture.”
How so, you ask?
After a rape: Most everyone are up in arms about it. All men are terrible and need to stop doing this heinous act.
After cheating/cuckolding: That was just being mean at best and you need to let it go; no shaming or calling it out, that’s misogyny against women basically just having sex.
I’ll have “Things No One Has Ever Said About Cheating or Cuckolding” for $500, Alex.
And when was the last time you heard anyone talking seriously about cuckolding outside of the manosphere (or perhaps on fetish porn sites, if you’re into that sort of thing)?
Any acknowledgement that it’s bad is sure to be explained with that male culture has set it up so that women are trapped in unnatural situations and forced to live out their natural and healthy desires in this way.
Yeah, this isn’t happening anywhere outside of your own fevered imagination, dude.
Quite often you’ll see cheating/cuckolding being touted as empowerment or liberation by feminists.
Wait, what? There was that one article in New York magazine in which a man wrote about how being in an open relationship — one that was open for both partners, incidentally — made him a better feminist. Polyamory is not the same as “cheating,” and outside of internet nazi circles no one defines a consensual open relationship as “cuckolding.”
Where is this for rape?
You’re seriously asking why no one is celebrating rape as “as empowerment or liberation?”
Thankfully it’s still an extreme, but it has often garnered support among feminists: Men who discover they have been successfully conned by a woman into raising a child as their own are castigated for leaving the situation in resentment.
I’m pretty sure most people would understand if the man in question were furious at the woman who deceived him in this way. But deserting a child you’ve raised as your own? That’s hideously cruel to the child, who is not to blame for the mother’s deception..
There’s this underlying understanding among feminists that women should be the sole arbiter of when a man is a father, irrespective of biology.
Wait, are you honestly suggesting that men should control whether or not women get pregnant?
Marital rape used to not be considered rape. Now it’s rape. Yet another rape culture indicator removed.
What a terrible tragedy!
No matter how you look at it all things rape are on the way out, but that can’t be said for cuckolding and cheating culture which, by all accounts, seem to be on the rise.
Only in your own mind, dude.
In the comments, a fellow calling himself thegrimraeper does the OP one better, complaining that
I don’t know what marital rape is and I probably will never know; they keep broadening the definition. as of the latest, it’s when you “beg for sex.” which leads me to believe that probably every couple that’s been together for an extended period of time has at least one party guilty of marital rape, if not both.
Yeah, I’m pretty sure none of that is true.
H/T — r/againstmensrights
To these guys, everything women do which doesn’t put them at the center of the universe is “cuckolding” them. The fact that I have a job and remain single is cuckolding some man somewhere and how dare I not give myself to him, I am cheating on him with the government! But to get together with someone (an awesome guy who they would call a “mangina”) would be cuckolding the redpill guys.
Not much else to say but that I want to post some brain bleach now. Something happy after that “fuck you” anger-inducing bullshit.
“Where is this for rape?
You’re seriously asking why no one is celebrating rape as “as empowerment or liberation?” ”
I think hes actually saying that rape culture doesnt exist because we dont celebrate rape. Except culture has and still does encourage, excuse, and even celebrate rape and rapists, like complementing a man as a player when he goes home with a drunk woman or even an underage teen, or literally trading women as property and statis symbols
There are endless Italian jokes on the horns/cuckolding theme – even extending to the “I have been familiar with your sister” theme. So much so that doing an English language thing about family members with teenagers had the lads sniggering themselves silly at the “Do you have any sisters?” question. My, how we laughed.
Moving further East and South to an Arab country and a mainly Bedouin town, it was fine for me to ask my women friends and colleagues about their health and that of their female relatives (to this day the Arabic for “how are you and how’s your Mum?” trips readily across my tongue), while my husband was warned that no reference should ever be made to his male colleagues having female family members. “How are you and how is the family?” is the formula.
My history with the word “cuckolding”:
~1999: I am a teenage boy reading erotic fiction online. Comes across the category “cuckolding”. Thinks, “what’s this? …oh? ew. weird. oh well”. Then I click my way to some different category.
*INTERMISSION*
2015: Cuckolding reemerges and destroys the world.
Rape is bad. No means no and people get seriously hurt in the process, and sometimes even die from the attack. It’s a vile act.
Cheating, while bad, usually results in feelings getting hurt at the worst and tends to involve reasons as to why a person cheats (ie: you were a shitty person to date/marry). Eventually everyone can work things out and get on with their lives… I can’t say the same thing about rape, where a victim may never fully recover and the attacker often gets away scot-free for the act.
Seriously, there’s more to life than sex, and you won’t die if you don’t have sex. Then again, I’m not an ultra-insecure MRA, so that’s probably why I don’t worry about having sex… Among other things.
@ Dan
Don’t do that. Read the comments policy and refrain from stating violent fantasies. Being set off is understandable, but we don’t wish death upon anybody, and especially not suicidal thoughts.
Apropos of very little, the term “cuckold” is an inherently male term; women cannot be cuckolded.
The female version is “cuckquean.”
Which, as others have noted, is not a situation that appears to bother the cuckold-obsessed MRA fuckheads at all.
Because reasons.
All of which involve misogyny.
@ bluecat
I don’t know if you were around at the time, but a while back we had an interesting discussion based on the fact that the original meaning of “rape” was to “carry off” (i.e. “Steal”).
WARNING!
Just put ‘cuckolding’ into google and it was on images – absolutely not what I was expecting! URGGHH!! And its tea time too! Please don’t try this if you just about to have yours!
where’s that net nanny button……
For those of you who don’t know (and how i envy you), “begging for sex” is how MRAs belittle and de-legitimize verbal sexual coercion.
I figured as much. Ugh.
I forget exactly what was on the old MRA bingo card, but I’m pretty sure “compares something that is not like rape to rape” was one. They seem to do so pretty regularly.
Cuckolding as a concept implies that being a “real man” involves controlling the behavior and sexuality of “your woman.” Toxic masculinity. Obviously, this is worse for women, but it’s pretty harmful to men, as well–your identity and self worth involves controlling another person, so you can never really be secure. One never gets a sense of confidence from people that use the them–rather, hate and terror of the women that might take their manhood away.
It’s a handy term in so far as you can safely ignore the opinions of anyone who uses it seriously, which saves a lot of time.
Ah “cuckolding”…
My first encounter with the word was back when I was in high school and went to a local college production of something called “The Three Cuckolds”. I think it was originally a commedia dell’arte (there was a Harlequin-type character in it) adapted to slightly more modern language. It was very funny in a screw-ball comedy kind of way.
Cut to late last year, reading this blog, which is only the second time I have encountered the word.
There is a reason I have a hard time taking these guys seriously.
For some reason, the word “cuck” makes me chuckle every time I see it.
Also, “cuckolding” is not synonymous with “cheating on”. The victim of the act is the same in both cases, but the perpetrator is different.
A cuckolded husband was cheated on by his wife, but cuckolded by her lover.
(I’ve emailed the boss about Dan Kasteray’s post. What the fuck.)
@Kimstu,
that syntactical misogyny seems, mercifully, to be lost to history. Contemporary angry yelling dudes yell about women cuckolding men, or cuckolding one man “with” another man.
I know of at least three popular movies that praise an act of rape:
Gone With the Wind: Marital rape
Roxanne (Steve Martin’s adaptation of Cyrano): Rape by deception
Revenge of the Nerds: Voyeurism, revenge porn AND rape by deception.
In all three, it’s decided that it’s okay because the woman enjoyed it. If that’s not rape culture… (Any additions to this list would be appreciated, as I try to keep some awareness of the issue.)
********
On a separate note, I think I’ve figured out this cuckolding obsession among MRAs. Just as they get a considerable portion of their worldview from teen rom-coms and evo-psyche, the belief that women are all cheating and making men play father to other men’s children comes at least partially from daytime TV–specifically, the Maury Povitch and Bill Cunningham shows. Both feature DNA tests on a regular basis, and around half of them come back with “Not the father” as the result.
Of course, these are twice-filtered–first, the men have to already suspect that the woman has been cheating on them, and then the show’s producers likely try to keep the father/not-father results fairly balanced, in order to maintain the element of suspense. (I also recall a study that showed that something like 35% of cases where men had sought paternity tests were found to not be the father–which, of course, means that 65% of the men were wrong, but the MRAs didn’t read it that way.)
@ SFHC
Thanks. I thought my reaction was, well, mild.
Because all women are liars and need to stop lying about it, say men.
I read that out of the corner of my eye as “amen”, which is actually quite appropriate. Perhaps the free-thinking misogynists could use it whenever they deliver one of their super-duper logirational axioms.
“For ever and ever, say men.”
Freemage, in the contemporary use of “cuckold” by the more unpleasant parts of the Internet, there is also a distinctive racial component, which MRAs probably picked up from porn. There is nothing racists hate more than the thought of their white wimmen getting sexually satisfied by black men.
It’s not a famous movie or anything, but Wishcraft blatantly praises rape too. The main character gets some artifact that grants wishes, but every time he makes a wish, he gets the wish, but people start dying. That’s the plot as I remember it. Now the main character has a crush on this girl but she sees him only as a friend. So, one of his wishes is that she falls in love with him or something along those lines. They wind up having sex as a result of this supernatural power being wielded over her. That is definitely rape. But it’s not treated as rape. At the end of the movie, the villain who sent the main character is defeated and the spells are broken. Once the female love interest gets her free will back, she stays with the “hero” of the movie. She didn’t seem to mind at all that he manipulated and raped her. It was really fucked up.
Here it is. http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0255702/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
Horrible stupid movie. It wasn’t scary at all. Except for the treatment of a rape as love.
Nope. No rape culture here!
Dollars to donuts this guy would start bleating about sperm-jacking if you pressed him to expound upon this thought.
@WWTH
“‘After a rape: Most everyone are up in arms about it.’
In what universe are the victims of rape believed and supported by most everyone? ”
He’s a manospherian, so I’m guessing he means the ‘real’ rapes carried out by non-white people, refugees and illegal immigrants AND confirmed by Breitbart/Fox news or whatever.
Cuckold (in the context of this used as an insult): A man who’s not ‘man’ enough to control ‘his woman’
Classic toxic masculinity, defining literal sexism as ‘a masculine trait’.