Categories
a voice for men evil fat fatties internet tough guy irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam PUA red pill return of kings rhymes with roosh

Paul Elam Celebrates MLK Day With Weirdly Bitter Tips on How to Score with the Ladies

MAKE IT STOP
MAKE IT STOP

This is the horrifying image that faces you if you take a look at “Paul’s Corner” on A Voice for Men today.

There’s a bit of backstory here. Elam, you see, recently spent an hour chatting with PUA-sleazebucket-turned-wannabe-patriarch Roosh Valizadeh on YouTube, and during this chat Mr. Valizadeh noted that Mr. Elam wasn’t offering a lot of advice to young men on how to score with the ladies.

If Elam were in fact the real “men’s human rights activist” he likes to pretend he is, he would have simply said, that’s not really my job, you never saw, say, Martin Luther King giving speeches on how to charm the ladies into having the sex.

But apparently Mr Elam was so taken aback by the merest suggestion that he doesn’t know how to charm the ladies into having the sex that he decided he needed to make a whole new set of videos on how to charm the ladies into having the sex, of which the video he put up today is merely the appetizer. Happy Martin Luther King day, everyone!

This isn’t the first time Elam has done something like this. After facing criticism for running a giant two-part fawning interview with Roosh on AVFM early last year, Elam put up a post intended to remind everyone that sure as shootin he don’t need none of that newfangled PUA crap to get his dick wet because Ladies Love Cool Paul.

This was the graphic I came up with for my post on the subject. You have to admit it’s pretty good.

Paul Elam: The ladies want summa dis
Hey ladies!

Ok, I’m just stalling now. I should probably stop blabbing and force myself to watch Elam’s latest the damn video. Here goes.

Well, ok, that wasn’t quite as horrendous as I was expecting. Elam’s most basic advice, while hardly original, is in itself not terribly objectionable: he points out that guys — and here he’s talking only about straight guys — who have more genuine interests in life beyond getting laid will end up being a lot more interesting to women than guys who spend their life learning the latest “negs” and so on.

But Elam can’t really do anything without being a dick about it, so he accompanied his unobjectionable platitudes with an assortment of nasty, if faintly ridiculous, little Elam-isms, delivered with a sneer.

Still smarting from Jeff Sharlet’s devastating expose of his little empire last year in GQ magazine, Elam suggests to would be Lotharios that “dressing nice doesn’t hurt but I don’t suggest looking like you’re a GQ reader either.”

He follows this up, for some weird psychological reason we cannot fully fathom, with gratuitous swipes at fat dudes.”Morbid obesity is a non-starter,” he announces.

And besides, if you’re morbidly obese you should probably be talking to a doctor before you attempt sex, possibly even with your hand. … Man-tits trying to bust through a t-shirt and a belt-line that looks like a seizmic fault circling your body gives you a Pillsbury Dough Boy look that doesn’t work.

Man-tits? Subtle, dude. I guess he’s still mad about that plagiarism thing.

Just FYI, Paul, more than 2/3 of American adults are classified as overweight or obese, with more than a third in the latter category. Roughly 6 percent of American adults are classified as morbidly obese. And guess what, Paul? These people have sex all the fucking time (and some are quite good at it).

Elam goes on to accuse the PUAs of trying to feign indifference towards women in order to lend themselves the air of aloof mystery that women are said to adore. Elam’s indifference towards women, he assures us, is real. (Yeah, that’s why he spends so much of his life yelling about women online.)

“Making pussy the sole focus of your existence is the ultimate drain to personal power,” Elam explains earnestly, sounding a little bit like General Jack T. Ripper worrying about his precious bodily fluids.

But the weirdest and most off-putting fluid-based metaphor comes a few moments later.

“Available sex is gravy,” he announces.

Not the meat. Get your head around that, motherfuckers. YOU are the meat. Treat yourself like it, and so will others.

Wait, what?

I’m not even going to try to make sense of that, because I’m pretty sure that if I spend even one more second of my life contemplating the fact that Paul Elam apparently sees himself as some sort of tasty sex steak, I will have to take up vegetarianism and everyone knows how inconvenient that is.

Happy Martin Luther King day, everyone!

H/T –@TakedownMRAs

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

58 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ktoryx
Ktoryx
5 years ago

Why does that man look like he’s on the brink of a homicidal meltdown in EVERY. SINGLE. PHOTOGRAPH?

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
5 years ago

Does that sign in the background say “cool zone” or “cool bone”?

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

Man-tits trying to bust through a t-shirt and a belt-line that looks like a seizmic fault circling your body gives you a Pillsbury Dough Boy look that doesn’t work.

I’m sorry if fat guys make your boner sad, Paul, but please don’t attempt to speak for women and what we find physically attractive. For that matter, you probably shouldn’t speak for all men, either, because I know not all of them agree with you on what makes a woman physically attractive, either.

ScarlettAthena
ScarlettAthena
5 years ago

“Not the meat. Get your head around that, motherfuckers. YOU are the meat. Treat yourself like it, and so will others.”

Not exactly Billy Collins, now, is he?

“Litany”

You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,
maybe even the pigeon on the general’s head,
but you are not even close
to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show
that you are neither the boots in the corner
nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,
speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,
that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,
the evening paper blowing down an alley
and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees
and the blind woman’s tea cup.
But don’t worry, I’m not the bread and the knife.
You are still the bread and the knife.
You will always be the bread and the knife,
not to mention the crystal goblet and–somehow–the wine.

dhag85
dhag85
5 years ago

Vegetarianism is great, though. 🙂

Ælfscýne
Ælfscýne
5 years ago

YOU are the meat. Treat yourself like it, and so will others.

That’s funny. Women have fought for centuries not to be treated just like a piece of meat, and now mr. A Voice for Men indeed takes that role away from us and gives it to men. My deepest sympathies, gentlemen.

cincin
cincin
5 years ago

have no idea what came over me but i WATCHED THAT.
elam is surprisingly articulate and nails the PUA’s to the wall. but.. he is old..maybe he’s articulate to make sure we can undertsand him thru his old man slurring and heavy breathing. no rage eye bulging or red ears with steam coming out either.. disappointing.

Michael Brew
Michael Brew
5 years ago

Well, the last metaphor is a bit strained, but it’s surprisingly decent and noncreepy advice. Yes, men should view themselves and their own needs as the “meat,” or sustaining element, of their lives while sex merely adds “flavor” to one’s life. One shouldn’t sacrifice one’s own health, integrity, etc. just for the prospect of sex. Of course, I may be attributing more thought into this than intended.

Miss Andry
5 years ago

Ewww.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

I know that there are totally a bunch of my rights that were just infringed upon by merely reading that metaphor, one of them being my right to avoid the urge to vomit over ‘fluid based metaphors’ from the weird old man of AVFM. I’m pretty sure my right to all those ‘feeeeeeeeeeemale privileges’ were infringed upon too. Whatever those are.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

MRAs have it tough. They fear us and hate us, but they wanna have sex with us. And for some weird law-related reason, they can’t just abduct us and have their way with us. What. is. up. with. that. They ponder this question endlessly.

Paul Elam’s advice is sure to help. Ha, ha.

MexicanHotChocolate
MexicanHotChocolate
5 years ago

Paul Elam isn’t really in any place to call other people fat. He’s hardly svelte or a candidate for Mr. Olympia. I believe the polite term for Elam’s appearance is “paunchy.”

Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
5 years ago

I seriously don’t see how these guys are offering good advice… I found that just treating people like human beings is often how you get far in life.

Likewise, I go to the gym to bulk up and try to look like a GQ reader at the same time… Would this cause a black hole in the minds of most manospherians?

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

What does “Look like a GQ reader” even mean?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
5 years ago

Paul Elam isn’t really in any place to call other people fat. He’s hardly svelte or a candidate for Mr. Olympia. I believe the polite term for Elam’s appearance is “paunchy.”

Ragging on someone’s appearance is not okay, even if that person rags on the appearance of others first.

Yes, yes, I get the “hypocrisy” angle. It’s still not okay.

Tyra Lith
Tyra Lith
5 years ago

“Making pussy the sole focus of your existence is the ultimate drain to personal power,” Elam explains earnestly

Ew.
It’s one thing if young men use the expression “getting pussy” without irony. it makes them look like douchy frat bros who are probably shitty lovers because they are selfish and don’t really care about the other person’s pleasure.
But if a man at Elam’s age talks about “pussy”… dude, that’s just disgusting. you’re an adult. you have a (now adult) daughter. Get a grip on yourself!

katz
5 years ago

What does “Look like a GQ reader” even mean?

“Holding a copy of GQ magazine,” I assume.

Snow Leopard
Snow Leopard
5 years ago

More proof that when you get one, you get the other! They’re all the same. Different names, same stupid crap.

#manuresphere

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his, she/her pronouns)
5 years ago

Wait, isn’t Paul Elam the one that runs that whole Men Going Their Own Way site or is that someone else? Why would someone that’s going their own way need sex advice?

LankyYankee
LankyYankee
5 years ago

Even when the advice isn’t too terrible in and of itself, he’s just gotta wrap it up in awful, doesn’t he?

I mean, it’s not bad to tell guys they should have interests and hobbies, nor is it bad to tell guys they should value themselves over lots and lots of sex. Does Elam HAVE to use awful metaphors and obvious digs while he does it?

… oh, wait. It’s AVFM. Everything they do seems to have a gross-out quota.

Lea
Lea
5 years ago

I check out fat guys. Just say’n

Dr. NicolaLuna
Dr. NicolaLuna
5 years ago

The meat/gravy metaphor made me want to be celibate forever. 😯

I’m also quite sad that my first thought was “at least he wasn’t advocating rape.” The bar is set so very, very fucking low.

throwaway
throwaway
5 years ago

I think Paul Elam being meat was what made Grace Slick go vegan.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

What does “Look like a GQ reader” even mean?

“Holding a copy of GQ magazine,” I assume.

The image that sprang to my mind was “in the bathroom at your dad’s house”. (No disrespect intended to GQ, that’s just the only place I’ve ever encountered it.)

The meat metaphor is almost decent (I agree that men should value themselves independently of how much sex they are or are not having), but at the same time it’s problematic. Gravy is generally regarded as a prize, a signifier of abundance, and it also gets its flavor and umami primarily from meat. Are women flour – just an extra, bland ingredient that’s there to thicken and enhance the meat? Or are they a side dish – vegetables, perhaps? Or a garnish?

Oh wait, I know – they’re the plates!

Bina
5 years ago

“Making pussy the sole focus of your existence is the ultimate drain to personal power,”

Which is why I have hobbies and other things to do, not just my kitty cats.

And besides, if you’re morbidly obese you should probably be talking to a doctor before you attempt sex, possibly even with your hand. … Man-tits trying to bust through a t-shirt and a belt-line that looks like a seizmic fault circling your body gives you a Pillsbury Dough Boy look that doesn’t work.

At risk of pointing out the blinding obvious, Paulie, you’re not exactly a slender reed yourself. But haw haw haw David Futrelle MANBOOBZ amirite?

YOU are the meat. Treat yourself like it, and so will others.

MRA misandry, folks…straight from the very mangry horse’s mouth. Paulie thinks you’re nothing but a piece of meat.

And we all know what pussies eat, don’t we?

dlouwe
dlouwe
5 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants

Oh wait, I know – they’re the plates!

Something for the meat to lay on top of and cover in gravy?

Yes, the gross ass metaphor holds up!

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

There will be no lady-meat-plate-mattresses being covered with gravy on this here blog! I forbid it! *stomps size 6 foot in high heeled shoe with ferocity*

That shit goes against every commandment of Katie in the book! And a few that aren’t in the book too!

That metaphor is evolving in a way that is most unsettling, and it’s making me feel like I did in Las Vegas for my 21st birthday roughly 5 minutes before I vomited on a large potted palm in my hotel lobby.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
5 years ago

It really shows how emotionally immature MRAs and their kin are, that their go-to insults are mocking someone’s weight and their appearance. Other than just being childish – it also shows how insipid their ideology is, as well.

Like, in the past, I’ve had these odd conversations with right-wingers who’s use female hosts from FOX News shows as “evidence” their ideology was somehow correct. Other than proving they’re sexist pieces of shit – pointing out several attractive women agreeing with those politics doesn’t actually mean anything. Their ideology is still completely backwards, xenophobic, and borderline despotic despite using the word “freedom” as frequently as possible.

I suppose it is helpful, in that you know not to waste your time with such people when they use an argument like that. Rather than, y’know, explaining the actual merits of their ideology in comparison to others. “We got hot chicks” only indicates there is only little to nothing there…

Antisocialite
Antisocialite
5 years ago

Paul Elam has some nerve critiquing other people’s bodies.

I also think he has a crush on Roosh.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

“We got hot chicks”

Oh great, now I’ve got that KFC craving again.

Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
Friendly Neighborhood Dragon Arthur
5 years ago

@Katz and Buttercup

A GQ Reader is essentially a metrosexual, a guy who goes beyond just a shave and a haircut in order to look good. They actually want to look good, have good clothes, have a good look, and well, aren’t afraid of showing of their good looks.

They’re also against everything the #REALLYMANLYMEN are all about… You know, actually not smelling bad and not having a disgusting looking beard.

dreemr
dreemr
5 years ago

I think that of all the observations about Mr. Elam, the one that will get under his skin the most is, as @cincin said, very matter-of-factly:

he is old..maybe he’s articulate to make sure we can undertsand him thru his old man slurring and heavy breathing.

I think being thought of as old, as past his prime and irrelevant, is exactly the kind of observation that really stings ol’ Paulie.

leftwingfox
leftwingfox
5 years ago

YOU are the meat. Treat yourself like it, and so will others.

http://i.imgur.com/Bxos2Ew.jpg

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

I think pointing out someone is irrelevant is perfectly legitimate.

I’m not as sure about old and past their prime though. That’s just something that will happen to all of us one day.

Admittedly, men aren’t dismissed based on age as much as women, but I still think it’s perhaps a criticism to be avoided.

(Not having a dig there, he’s certainly an odious chap)

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Michael Brew | January 18, 2016 at 11:56 am
Well, the last metaphor is a bit strained, but it’s surprisingly decent and noncreepy advice. Yes, men should view themselves and their own needs as the “meat,” or sustaining element, of their lives while sex merely adds “flavor” to one’s life. One shouldn’t sacrifice one’s own health, integrity, etc. just for the prospect of sex. Of course, I may be attributing more thought into this than intended.

I always find myself pleasantly surprised when these guys have an ounce of self-awareness and something actually useful to say on this front, but then they just drown it in misogyny like drowning your potatoes (or biscuits or fries/chips) in really shitty, salty, thin gravy and I just shake my head again.

It is a good piece of advice (to everyone, not just men) that you should view yourself outside of your relationship, which is why I’ve never really liked the whole “find your other half” kind of rhetoric. You are already a whole person, you don’t need someone to “complete” you. I’ve always been kinda leery of it because it smacks of codependency to me, which has a huge potential for abuse.

Not that your datemate/housespouse/significant other can’t make you want to be a better person, or bring out the best in you, but I don’t think they “complete” you.

Apologies if this comes off the wrong way, but it’s never really sat right with me, I mean no disrespect to people who do view their relationships this way. And apologies for the tottering ramble I just went on.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ paradoxy

I get what you mean about viewing a relationship as providing something that’s ‘lacking’ rather than bringing something even more to an already fulfilled life.

I see relationships the other way. You start off with two already complete people and you end up with something that’s “(even) more than the sum of its parts”

Like I live my own life at 100% but my relationships allow two of us to jointly live at 200%

Get my drift; I am still pretty spacey at present?

Anne
Anne
5 years ago

Freedom of speech is such an awesome thing….Lame Paul & Co. talk themselves further and further away from any kind of influence.
*Facepalm*

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Alan Robertshaw | January 18, 2016 at 7:00 pm
@ paradoxy

I get what you mean about viewing a relationship as providing something that’s ‘lacking’ rather than bringing something even more to an already fulfilled life.

I see relationships the other way. You start off with two already complete people and you end up with something that’s “(even) more than the sum of its parts”

Like I live my own life at 100% but my relationships allow two of us to jointly live at 200%

Get my drift; I am still pretty spacey at present?

That’s kind of what I wanted to get at. I think I typed something to that effect before deleting it because I couldn’t give it the rightful words.

dlouwe
dlouwe
5 years ago

I guess this just goes to show that a broken, angry, exploitative, misogynistic, racist, fatphobic, hypocritical, all-around-full-of-shit clock is still… wait where was I going with this again?

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
5 years ago

@P.I.

Apologies if this comes off the wrong way, but it’s never really sat right with me, I mean no disrespect to people who do view their relationships this way. And apologies for the tottering ramble I just went on.

No apologies needed – what you stated is entirely sensible.

The notion that you need to be in a relationship to be “complete” is one of those old-fashioned attitudes that aren’t really relevant anymore, but are kept around due to force of habit. People (especially women) who forgo things like courtship or marriage are still seen as somehow “broken” by their 30’s – even though no one, in this day and age, needs to be in a relationship to be functional. Pushing people into a relationship they do not want to be in causes more misery than it does happiness.

There’s around seven billion people on the planet, human beings are living longer than before, and having children is a task better suited for those who are willing to do it than because they feel obligated to.

jecf0305
jecf0305
5 years ago

He’s teaching younger men on how to bang a woman. I’m sorry but I don’t see women beating down his door. MRAs remind me of the guys who spent their time in high school complaining that they couldn’t get a girlfriend.I think the only woman he’ll see is rosey palms and her 5 friends.

Chris O
Chris O
5 years ago

Why does that man look like he’s on the brink of a homicidal meltdown in EVERY. SINGLE. PHOTOGRAPH?

Probably because he IS on the brink of a homicidal meltdown.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
5 years ago

MRAs remind me of the guys who spent their time in high school complaining that they couldn’t get a girlfriend.

A lot of guys, myself included (at one point), seem more concerned about being in a relationship – even if they’ll only complain about it – than most women do. The male ego is fragile and not having a girlfriend (or at least some kind of “fuck-buddy”), even one whose presence annoys them, is seen as a personality flaw.

Of course, the reality is that most guys who obsess about getting laid or having an attractive partner they can show off to their buddies are also some of the most dull, uninteresting people on the planet. They lack appreciation for Art and culture, usually hesitant to indulge in anything that might be more intellectually or spiritually enlightening, and often enamored by physical traits – which might explain why many PUAs make such a big deal about fitness and their workout routine. Well, that and insistence of fat-shaming anyone who isn’t built like an Adonis (though they probably aren’t either).

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

Count me in as one of the people squicked out when people say things like “my other half” or “you complete me.” Maybe that explains why I’m still single? Being joined at the hip with someone holds zero appeal to me. I’d rather be my own person and be with someone who is also his person. I’d rather want and be wanted than need and be needed. Most people seem to crave other halves though. Including men, despite what pop culture claims.

banned@4chan.org
banned@4chan.org
5 years ago

Every time I see a quote here of Paul Elam saying something god-awful, the picture of him that accompanies it looks gleeful. It kind of reminds me of the title of that Westboro Baptist Church biography, “Addicted to Hate.” It makes me think he enjoys having an excuse to be angry.

=8)-DX
=8)-DX
5 years ago

Basically sausage. That is all.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@WWTH:

I’d rather be my own person and be with someone who is also his person. I’d rather want and be wanted than need and be needed.

Yeah, me too. The best relationships I’ve been in and seen other people have are the ones where two completely independent (and awesome) people are busy doing their independent (and awesome) things, and part of those things include cuddling one another. It not only allows each partner to flourish, but it also demonstrates immense trust.

This is, I think, why a lot of people are afraid of it.

If your partner needs you then you don’t have to trust them, and if you need your partner then you don’t have to trust yourself. Codependence is a way of avoiding the pressures of living as an adult who gets to make their own choices, and a lot of people are socialised into being afraid of making their own choices. It’s as true for men as it is for women, in my experience.

MissEB47
MissEB47
5 years ago

Ktoryx-“Why does that man look like he’s on the brink of a homicidal meltdown in EVERY. SINGLE. PHOTOGRAPH?”

I know, right?! He is an angry and hateful man and that expression is his hate showing through. That is why I find photos of him so unsettling that I can’t look at them. He makes my skin crawl. 0_0

NeonWraith
NeonWraith
5 years ago

I just threw up in my mouth a little, and I am (allegedly) his ideal market (straight, white, socially awkward and isolated). Makes me wonder why he never had ths ‘I should really get over my bullshit’ moment all the formerly pissed off at women as teenagers types seem to experience.

Or is hoping for self awarebess from him asking too much?

Lady Mondegreen
Lady Mondegreen
5 years ago

I think being thought of as old, as past his prime and irrelevant, is exactly the kind of observation that really stings ol’ Paulie.

Can we do without the ageism, kthanx.