On the This is Trouble blog, the Red Pill Lothario and former Return of Kings contributor known only as Kyle has issued a dire warning to contemporary men: women will “drag you towards mediocrity” if you let them.
The worst offenders? Pancake-eating women.
I mean, let’s just say you’re a super cool dude who’s maybe three months into a relationship with some hot pre-wall broad. Obviously, Kyle notes, she’s totally into you due to “various measures: your health, your wealth, and your overall drive motivation, etc.”
That’s cool. But then she starts doing crap that interferes with your ability to have, like, the best health, wealth and drive motivation. Like, the stuff that made her into you in the first place!
Instead of “encourag[ing] you to wake up at 6am on a Saturday to hit the gym” and work your side-hustle selling juice or writing ebooks on how to get hot babes, or whatever, she JUST WANTS TO SLEEP IN.
[G]irls flat-out self sabotage the very thing they’re attracted to by trying to keep you in bed with them all day, sleeping in and just being a lazy slob in general.
Come back to bed, honey, these torpid Sirens cry.
They will literally hold you back in moving forward because women have no sense of needing to move forward, EVER.
And that’s where the pancakes come in.
Even the ones that are in shitty positions in life (no career, no skills, no goals) have this self entitlement complex that a man is going to save them – SOMEDAY. It’s why they sit around in the mornings and eat pancakes rather than get up and be productive.
The pancakes! The horror!
Now, if this thing about pancakes seems like a weirdly specific complaint about contemporary women, well, that’s because it’s really a complaint about one particular woman, that woman being Kyle’s current girlfriend, an admitted pancake eater who, on one recent occasion actually delayed his Saturday morning trip to the gym by an hour.
You see, Kyle has got important shit to do. Not like you women.
Most girls simply go home from their 9-5 hellhole and turn on the TV, killing their brain cells and souls by watching shit involving the Kardashians. The smart girls go to the gym, and spend time preparing their own meals to better themselves in that sense. However, I’ve yet to meet a girl who does the gym, meal prep, and everything else I do on a day-to-day basis to keep moving forward on the self improvement and freedom path.
Preach it, brother!
That usually involves the 9-5 gig, a minimum of 2-3 hours a work on side work (10+ a day on weekends), an hour workout, and I still make time for friends, dates, etc. The trick is that I know how to get by on little sleep, I minimize my commute and I don’t waste any time.
Most women just cannot handle what I do on a day-to-day basis.
Hell, just hearing about all this makes me tired. No, not tired. What’s that other word that’s sort of like tired? Bored.
So anyway, Kyle was just going along living his impeccable life. And then came The Morning of the Pancakes.
Kyle recounts this terrible ordeal in graphic detail.
He and his girlfriend of one month are lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon.
I had wanted to go the gym at roughly 8am, and she said she wanted to join me. So of course we didn’t get there until about 9am.
I believe this is a violation of the Geneva Conventions. It should be, anyway.
At the gym, as I worked through a brutal superset workout…what did she do?
Walked on the treadmill.
Damn treadmill-walking lazy-ass woman!
Oh, and she did two whole sets of planks with me at the end.
Correction: Damn treadmill-walking, two-plank-set-doing lazy-ass woman!
Brace yourself, dear reader, because it gets worse.
After we got back from the gym, she really wanted to go and get pancakes.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1!!
And steak and eggs sounded like a good post-workout meal to me. I relented and went, and in Los Angeles, $30 is about the minimum you can spend on any meal for two.
Somehow I’m guessing that Kyle here is not much of a tipper.
Finally, another hour and a half and $32.67 later, we were full and headed home.
Yeah, he’s definitely not a good tipper. I mean, given that he’s holding onto his resentment that the meal for two cost $2.67 more than the arbitrary amount he expected the meal to cost.
But she didn’t have work until 2pm – so of course she dicked around my apartment (of course, didn’t make herself useful and clean up my apartment or anything) until 1:15pm…and ended up being late to work anyway.
By the time she was gone and I settled into a working groove, it was 2pm and half the day was gone.
A moment of silence, please, for the half of Kyle’s Saturday so cruelly murdered by his girlfriend.
Rest in Peace, Half of Kyle’s Saturday. Rest in Peace.
@Alan
Actually I don’t know what that is @_@ but now I’m interested!
Also I’m disappointed Cale (Cole? Kyle? All these douchebags just blend together) hasn’t back here to neg us all and talk about his books and his super sexy mistress and how awful his gf is and how we’re all uggos. It was hilarious.
Although I guess I shouldn’t be too surprised seeing as he’s clearly the kind of guy to skip leg day, and couldn’t even stand under the weight of his own stupidity.
OMG guys, Kyle actually had sex!
No one has ever done that before!!!!!!!!! He’s amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, just going to add that this lil ray of sunshine is why I lift, cuz I know having nice muscles to flex is just the thing to have in your bullshit-people shield.
Nothing quite like hearing a lil nobody talk big game with his little chicken legs and oversized shoulders, only to start whining about how “you dont look feminine enough.”
Edit: if he wants to self improve he probably shouldn’t pretend that cheating on his gf is why he had a typo, furthering his status as a huge dork.
@ lagoon
Here you go. Enjoy!
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LRq_SAuQDec
You want pancakes
I want French toast
You want pancakes
I want French toast
Pancakes, French toast
Pancakes, French toast
Let’s call the whole thing off
Of all the things that never happened, this didn’t happen the hardest.
I’m not suggesting you’re lying, of course. Surely a guy who makes a living selling pickup methods to insecure, horny guys would never have a constant need to “prove” his methods are successful by portraying himself as having constant sex with beautiful women, especially sex that is degrading or disrespectful towards the woman (because revenge fantasies are what the target audience eats up). That would just be wrong, and you’ve already demonstrated how honorable you are.
Even if it is true, it makes you look like a humongous jackass, a terrible lay, and a cheater (either that, or your “girlfriend” – whose veracity I am also doubting now – wised up and dumped you). Remember, you’re among actual adults who are in touch with the real world here. None of us are the least bit impressed that you have a peen and an active fantasy life.
As for your “self improvement”: sure, you might be increasing your SMV by lifting and hustling, but only to a specific subset of the female population who care mainly about muscles and income. You’re going to spend the rest of your life interacting mainly with women who are using you equally hard. I don’t know what your end “self improvement” goal is, whether it’s Monaco and a rotating harem of bimbos or a stable LTR, but blogging, contempt, and lying aren’t going to get you either place.
Just look at Roosh. Obviously he’s your role model and you want to emulate him, but look where he’s ended up. He’s pushing 40, chronically alone, permanently expat, unable to get steady work, too depressed to brush his teeth or wipe his ass, a laughingstock of the mainstream media, and he’s starting to think wistfully about the wife and kids that will (thankfully for them) forever elude him, because his standards are too high and his lifestyle has pushed his “market value” so far into negative territory, it has to be expressed in scientific notation. He’s an admitted rapist and it’s possible that he’s way overstated his success rate (hey, lying sells more books). After years of laborious game, sex has become a meaningless chore for him. It already bores you too, judging from the fact that you’re texting during it, even in your alfalfa fantasies. Let me guess: you were also fending off street ninjas at the same time.
He’s a rather sad attention seeker, really, if his behaviour in this thread is any indication.
Gosh darn it, the comments are making me hungry. Now I’m craving pancakes and it’s all your guy’s fault.
“My sex life is so great I made a typo yelling at feminists online during sex” wow impressive. Such truthiness. That’s not even a good brag LOL.
OK, I can’t put it off any longer…pancakes for dinner. Chocolate ones, probably.
Oh Kyle, cupcake, you really don’t get the points being made here. Go take a nap while the adults talk.
EJ,
Internet humbly accepted!
Emmy Rae,
It is a poor brag. He’s either lying about posting mid-coitus (most probable). Or he’s so bad at sex and so mechanical that he’s willing and able to troll the internet while having sex.
Either way, by coming here, he’s proving he’s not as busy and important as he says he is. There was no way for him to come off well. Especially since calling us ugly didn’t have the desired effect and just made the mockery more fun.
Can’t imagine the sex was much good for anyone involved if he was typing messages in the middle of it.
It’s kind of a drag when I make pancakes since I eat them as I go along, so by the time I’m done I only have one left.
Sorry I didn’t get in here to comment before now, but I’ve been having sex and pancakes for the past 18 hours with my super cool gf who is having the sex with me and cleaning my apartment at the same time, while I have the sex with her and check site stats, which I always do while having the sex.
I forgot what point I was trying to make. I mentioned the sex, which I am currently having, right?
I think my favourite thing about Kyle is how he started off saying there’s “no decent women” but in his next comment he clarified that what he meant was decent *looking* women. And I’m really not sure how he came to that conclusion as most people here don’t display photos of themselves.
It’s kind of sad that to Kyle decent = physically attractive. I’m not going to say that physical attraction is meaningless, I go to the gym, wear make up and have fake boobs because I feel more comfortable like that. But it’s way down on my list of priorities in a potential partner.
The things that actually matters about a person are the contributions they make to the world, whether that’s something big that changes the world or something as small as being kind and supportive. I can’t think of anything more tedious than being with someone who thinks that working and going to the gym is the height of achievement.
@ guest
Ha, I recognise that. I’m the same with stuff like chilli.
Taste, adjust, taste, taste, adjust, taste, taste, nearly there, taste, adjust, taste, taste.
“Ok, grub’s up”
“You not having any?”
“Nah, I’m full”
I was born with the face of a bronze lion, so I totally understand if I’m not to people’s taste.
And a bunch of us are just symmetrical arrangements of colorful triangles!
I have a cupcake permanently stuck to my forehead. Total turnoff.
I was born an anime.
Just like I said, first comment: French Toast.
Kyle gets it.
He really gets it.
Mo’ Pancakes, Mo’ Problems.
I’m a wight, but at least I’ve got pretty blue eyes. That’s got to count for something, right?
@LindsayIrene
I can admit that my triangles are not very hot or sexy.
I don’t know what Kyle means, I clearly am a smokin’ hot tree frog that all the other tree frogs are jumping at the chance to get with.