On the This is Trouble blog, the Red Pill Lothario and former Return of Kings contributor known only as Kyle has issued a dire warning to contemporary men: women will “drag you towards mediocrity” if you let them.
The worst offenders? Pancake-eating women.
I mean, let’s just say you’re a super cool dude who’s maybe three months into a relationship with some hot pre-wall broad. Obviously, Kyle notes, she’s totally into you due to “various measures: your health, your wealth, and your overall drive motivation, etc.”
That’s cool. But then she starts doing crap that interferes with your ability to have, like, the best health, wealth and drive motivation. Like, the stuff that made her into you in the first place!
Instead of “encourag[ing] you to wake up at 6am on a Saturday to hit the gym” and work your side-hustle selling juice or writing ebooks on how to get hot babes, or whatever, she JUST WANTS TO SLEEP IN.
[G]irls flat-out self sabotage the very thing they’re attracted to by trying to keep you in bed with them all day, sleeping in and just being a lazy slob in general.
Come back to bed, honey, these torpid Sirens cry.
They will literally hold you back in moving forward because women have no sense of needing to move forward, EVER.
And that’s where the pancakes come in.
Even the ones that are in shitty positions in life (no career, no skills, no goals) have this self entitlement complex that a man is going to save them – SOMEDAY. It’s why they sit around in the mornings and eat pancakes rather than get up and be productive.
The pancakes! The horror!
Now, if this thing about pancakes seems like a weirdly specific complaint about contemporary women, well, that’s because it’s really a complaint about one particular woman, that woman being Kyle’s current girlfriend, an admitted pancake eater who, on one recent occasion actually delayed his Saturday morning trip to the gym by an hour.
You see, Kyle has got important shit to do. Not like you women.
Most girls simply go home from their 9-5 hellhole and turn on the TV, killing their brain cells and souls by watching shit involving the Kardashians. The smart girls go to the gym, and spend time preparing their own meals to better themselves in that sense. However, I’ve yet to meet a girl who does the gym, meal prep, and everything else I do on a day-to-day basis to keep moving forward on the self improvement and freedom path.
Preach it, brother!
That usually involves the 9-5 gig, a minimum of 2-3 hours a work on side work (10+ a day on weekends), an hour workout, and I still make time for friends, dates, etc. The trick is that I know how to get by on little sleep, I minimize my commute and I don’t waste any time.
Most women just cannot handle what I do on a day-to-day basis.
Hell, just hearing about all this makes me tired. No, not tired. What’s that other word that’s sort of like tired? Bored.
So anyway, Kyle was just going along living his impeccable life. And then came The Morning of the Pancakes.
Kyle recounts this terrible ordeal in graphic detail.
He and his girlfriend of one month are lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon.
I had wanted to go the gym at roughly 8am, and she said she wanted to join me. So of course we didn’t get there until about 9am.
I believe this is a violation of the Geneva Conventions. It should be, anyway.
At the gym, as I worked through a brutal superset workout…what did she do?
Walked on the treadmill.
Damn treadmill-walking lazy-ass woman!
Oh, and she did two whole sets of planks with me at the end.
Correction: Damn treadmill-walking, two-plank-set-doing lazy-ass woman!
Brace yourself, dear reader, because it gets worse.
After we got back from the gym, she really wanted to go and get pancakes.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1!!
And steak and eggs sounded like a good post-workout meal to me. I relented and went, and in Los Angeles, $30 is about the minimum you can spend on any meal for two.
Somehow I’m guessing that Kyle here is not much of a tipper.
Finally, another hour and a half and $32.67 later, we were full and headed home.
Yeah, he’s definitely not a good tipper. I mean, given that he’s holding onto his resentment that the meal for two cost $2.67 more than the arbitrary amount he expected the meal to cost.
But she didn’t have work until 2pm – so of course she dicked around my apartment (of course, didn’t make herself useful and clean up my apartment or anything) until 1:15pm…and ended up being late to work anyway.
By the time she was gone and I settled into a working groove, it was 2pm and half the day was gone.
A moment of silence, please, for the half of Kyle’s Saturday so cruelly murdered by his girlfriend.
Rest in Peace, Half of Kyle’s Saturday. Rest in Peace.
Also:
Because I’m really fucking angry about this now, let me reply with some spambottery of my own.
This is how it’s done. Read it. Weep. Then close your eyes and derive the C >> r and r >> C cases from first principles.
If you can’t do that, you may need a little more self-improvement, and not on your body.
http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/holy-sht.gif
Goddamn, EJ, goddamn. I could feel the blood splatter from here, that’s goddamn savage, shit.
If you fucking got EJ, the sweetest, kindest, most patient man on this site to fucking rip into you like that, you fucked up bad, man. So bad.
Goddamn. God. Damn.
MMMMMMmmmm, steak
Also, a perfect excuse to post easily the most random anime I’ve ever seen:
http://24.media.tumblr.com/cd8fa2c7785d4bd48f49392a2549d4f5/tumblr_mmeso6Mtap1rnng8uo1_500.gif
http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/3700000/Japan-16-yakitate-japan-3718410-500-375.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/ce7gFlJ.png
… I didn’t even know it was possible to piss off EJ. o.O
@Kyle
Oh, wow, who was it that commented a couple of pages back that your attempt at “look I lift and have a girlfriend and am in no way a pathetic sack of shit out for attention validate meeeee” was really transparent? Looks like there’s new evidence to support that position. I mean, are you even for real?
As others have pointed out, no one here is interested in your books on how to treat women like interchangable slot machines designed to satisfy your inflated ego*. You may want to try other desperate Redpillers who already buy into that bullshit.
*Best case scenario, that is. It’s worse if the books are closer to Roosh’s rape manuals.
@EJ
That was a delicious takedown. Also, happy very belated (like ten days) birthday! I wasn’t around back then, but I remembered! Have a cupcake that may or may not be real. But since you can’t eat it over the internet anyway, I suppose it doesn’t matter.
http://images.clipartpanda.com/pink-birthday-cupcakes-Happy_Birthday_Cupcake_by_pixelity.png
@everyone
Does anybody have good recipes for easy-to-make vegan food that isn’t simply a salad? I made ratatouille last week, delicious, but two weeks in a row is a bit much. I’ve been trying to stick to a vegan diet for the month, but I’m lazy and running out of ideas.
Yeah, I know, much manly, very wow.
I’m sure you were. *patpat*
So many feelings.
BritterSweet, your third pic, the weird chocolate/ice cream one, terrifies me. It’s like something out of Alien.
Katz,
I freaking love pandas, so I must know where you got that. (Seriously I love pandas. I have a stuffed panda who has sat in on multiple college classes with me. I haven’t seen much of him lately because he moved in with my girlfriend’s stuffed panda. They seem very happy)
Moocow, re: drinking,
Idk; your interpretation is plausible but I think it could really go either way. One of the bizarre things about our our culture’s misogyny is that it leads men to pretend to be worse than they are, and one of the odd things about our reactionary politics is a tendency to insist that totally anodyne behavior is some kind of resistance against The Man. So maybe “have a drink” is code for “get victim drunk,” but maybe he’s just pretending that the totally normal behavior of sharing a drink with a partner is a bold stand against feminist oppression.
Kyle,
Unlike some of the others, I was actually totally willing to believe the basics of your story, before you came here. I saw no reason not to believe you had a girlfriend and the story about your morning sounded true-to-life. I’ve even had similar frustrations with partners before, though I was too smart to blame them on gender.
You really blew it, is what I’m saying. Next time maybe let your accomplishments speak for you, ’cause you’re rubbish at speaking for yourself.
@Anarchonist:
Your cupcake looks delicious, thank you very much. So far being 32 is amazing. I’d forgotten how much fun it is to have an age which is expressable as a power of 2.
When I used to date a vegan, I would make rice by putting in lots of sweet fruits and vegetables and stuff, then letting the rice cook with their juices in it, giving the whole thing a delicious flavour.
There are lots of delicious vegetable curries you can make, too. If you don’t have the patience to make the curry from scratch then you can buy a jar of sauce. Stew the vegetables thoroughly in the sauce, then serve on a bed of your preferred carbohydrate; or if you’re feeling like potatoes then dice them and add them to the stew.
@M:
I try to leave anger to women, non-gender-binary people and people of colour, because I don’t want to be just another angry privileged white man. Nonetheless, some things do piss me off more than is reasonable.
Since Kyle *is* yet another angry privileged white man, I feel that I can allow myself a little rancour; and since he evidently feels that he’s an apex predator, he should not feel unduly hard-done-by when the real wolves come a-calling.
OH OH OH
Stuffed bell peppers – https://youtu.be/Kk0Lg6GVtH0
Vegetarian pad thai (just make sure what you use doesn’t have eggs or milk and insta vegan) – https://youtu.be/3X9qzLtyQuU
You can also substitute a lot of meat recipes with tofu.
That dude posting as *Kyle* can’t be real, surely. What a goof.
@Anarchonist
I’d be happy to share a few good vegan recipes. Are you in a hurry? I’m stuck in the Copenhagen airport right now, on very little sleep and running out of battery. I’ll post some stuff later today or tomorrow if you’re interested!
I found this blog on tumblr for you, Anarchonist.
@EJ
Oh, I’m not complaining or anything! Just surprised and impressed. XD
Wow, thanks a lot, EJ, Pandapool and Paradoxical Intention, bookmarked for future use! Actually, think I’ll be making stuffed bell peppers right away, since I seem to have more or less all the ingredients lying in the fridge and therefore I won’t have to go buy anything else today.
Tofu is an amazing substitute for meat, but so far, my attempts at making it taste anything like the stuff in vegan restaurants have been meager at best. Maybe add more soy sauce? Sure, because that’s my answer to everything apparently…
@dhag85
No hurry! I’m pretty much stuck in my home today because of mental health issues (sadface) with nothing but the internetz to keep me company (happyface), and I’ll be sure to review this page regularly for recipes that I can try out once I’ve worked up the nerve to step outside for shopping again!
Soy sauce is indeed the answer to everything. That and sesame oil.
Brittersweet, what the hell was that chocolate ball thing????
When I have vegan houseguests I usually make beans and rice with Linda McCartney sausages. I also eat a lot of lentil dishes, and you can make homefries without cheese and sour cream if you absolutely have to (homefries=bite size pieces of waxy potato (boiled a little first), onions, garlic, and anything else you like fried all fried together until they’re slightly crispy).
Debt the first 5000 years is an amazing book–it’s got something in there for everyone’s area of interest. It’s a little worrying to me, though, that the one chapter on my area of historical expertise didn’t make any sense at all to me.
Dear Kyle
If you really, sincerely wish to better yourself, you should, in the immortal words of the great, gloved one, take a look at the man in the mirror. Learn to respect others regardless of their gender, body type, sexuality or ethnic origin.
I promise you, this will make you much happier than any amount of time working out or doing any kind of hustles or striving for a higher salary.
Best regards.
@Anarchonist
Quick tip for tofu: PRESS! Put a block of tofu on 2 layers of paper towel, more paper towels on top of the tofu, a bowl on top of that, and some weights in the bowl (a can of beans will work). Leave it like that for 30ish minutes. Then you add a sauce you like, and bake in the oven for a while. I don’t have the proper baking time/temp memorized, but it should be easy enough to google. I used to be grossed out by tofu but when prepared right it can be tasty and non-gross.
I’m pretty sure Kyle is a (barely) sentient can of Ax Body Spray.
Do you even spam, bro?
Jeez. You couldn’t have just said “Y’know what, honey, I’m really more in the mood for french toast.” ??
Or picked a breakfast place where you could order pancakes AND french toast… because you don’t have to eat the same meal as your girlfriend when you eat out?
Or offered to make pancakes/ french toast at home?
So alpha, you can’t even communicate the most basic day-to-day wants to your partner, and instead have to passive-aggressively resent her for the words YOU failed to use.
You’re worse than a toddler!! Bloody hell. I’m laughing so hard I could cry.
All the gifs in this thread are crashing my browser, but I just had to comment on that – it’s just too precious!
Alas, poor Kyle: perhaps no one answered your first post because those folks who saw it felt like it would be a waste of time to respond to such an obvious instance of trolling and baiting.
Which, by the way, Kyle, strikes me as a perfect example of wasting time, far more than eating pancakes with your girlfriend. Aren’t you too busy for this? Perhaps you should get more sleep instead. It would reduce the crankiness and allow for satisfying interpersonal relationships with people.
I love it when trolls don’t notice that all first time comments go into moderation. Then when nobody sees them for awhile, they come lumbering back in here, crowing about unanswerable their truth bombs must be.
…and the thread is won. Congratulations, WWTH. Enjoy your one free internet.
@ lagoon
Nice Talkie Toaster reference!