On the This is Trouble blog, the Red Pill Lothario and former Return of Kings contributor known only as Kyle has issued a dire warning to contemporary men: women will “drag you towards mediocrity” if you let them.
The worst offenders? Pancake-eating women.
I mean, let’s just say you’re a super cool dude who’s maybe three months into a relationship with some hot pre-wall broad. Obviously, Kyle notes, she’s totally into you due to “various measures: your health, your wealth, and your overall drive motivation, etc.”
That’s cool. But then she starts doing crap that interferes with your ability to have, like, the best health, wealth and drive motivation. Like, the stuff that made her into you in the first place!
Instead of “encourag[ing] you to wake up at 6am on a Saturday to hit the gym” and work your side-hustle selling juice or writing ebooks on how to get hot babes, or whatever, she JUST WANTS TO SLEEP IN.
[G]irls flat-out self sabotage the very thing they’re attracted to by trying to keep you in bed with them all day, sleeping in and just being a lazy slob in general.
Come back to bed, honey, these torpid Sirens cry.
They will literally hold you back in moving forward because women have no sense of needing to move forward, EVER.
And that’s where the pancakes come in.
Even the ones that are in shitty positions in life (no career, no skills, no goals) have this self entitlement complex that a man is going to save them – SOMEDAY. It’s why they sit around in the mornings and eat pancakes rather than get up and be productive.
The pancakes! The horror!
Now, if this thing about pancakes seems like a weirdly specific complaint about contemporary women, well, that’s because it’s really a complaint about one particular woman, that woman being Kyle’s current girlfriend, an admitted pancake eater who, on one recent occasion actually delayed his Saturday morning trip to the gym by an hour.
You see, Kyle has got important shit to do. Not like you women.
Most girls simply go home from their 9-5 hellhole and turn on the TV, killing their brain cells and souls by watching shit involving the Kardashians. The smart girls go to the gym, and spend time preparing their own meals to better themselves in that sense. However, I’ve yet to meet a girl who does the gym, meal prep, and everything else I do on a day-to-day basis to keep moving forward on the self improvement and freedom path.
Preach it, brother!
That usually involves the 9-5 gig, a minimum of 2-3 hours a work on side work (10+ a day on weekends), an hour workout, and I still make time for friends, dates, etc. The trick is that I know how to get by on little sleep, I minimize my commute and I don’t waste any time.
Most women just cannot handle what I do on a day-to-day basis.
Hell, just hearing about all this makes me tired. No, not tired. What’s that other word that’s sort of like tired? Bored.
So anyway, Kyle was just going along living his impeccable life. And then came The Morning of the Pancakes.
Kyle recounts this terrible ordeal in graphic detail.
He and his girlfriend of one month are lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon.
I had wanted to go the gym at roughly 8am, and she said she wanted to join me. So of course we didn’t get there until about 9am.
I believe this is a violation of the Geneva Conventions. It should be, anyway.
At the gym, as I worked through a brutal superset workout…what did she do?
Walked on the treadmill.
Damn treadmill-walking lazy-ass woman!
Oh, and she did two whole sets of planks with me at the end.
Correction: Damn treadmill-walking, two-plank-set-doing lazy-ass woman!
Brace yourself, dear reader, because it gets worse.
After we got back from the gym, she really wanted to go and get pancakes.
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1!!
And steak and eggs sounded like a good post-workout meal to me. I relented and went, and in Los Angeles, $30 is about the minimum you can spend on any meal for two.
Somehow I’m guessing that Kyle here is not much of a tipper.
Finally, another hour and a half and $32.67 later, we were full and headed home.
Yeah, he’s definitely not a good tipper. I mean, given that he’s holding onto his resentment that the meal for two cost $2.67 more than the arbitrary amount he expected the meal to cost.
But she didn’t have work until 2pm – so of course she dicked around my apartment (of course, didn’t make herself useful and clean up my apartment or anything) until 1:15pm…and ended up being late to work anyway.
By the time she was gone and I settled into a working groove, it was 2pm and half the day was gone.
A moment of silence, please, for the half of Kyle’s Saturday so cruelly murdered by his girlfriend.
Rest in Peace, Half of Kyle’s Saturday. Rest in Peace.
Cheeses – what a fucking whinger!
Isn’t there a whole subculture of lazy men – all kinds of media document their smoking toking lying around all day gaming in their pants? And yes, eating pancakes – or pizza, burgers, cake, biscuits…
@Tovius:
Yes, but there is a loophole. If the woman either buys the guy pancakes and doesn’t eat anything herself, or even better, if she makes him pancakes in bed and still doesn’t eat any herself. Then pancakes are fine…
Also, thanks Kyle!!! Because you posted this crap, now everyone who has seen it knows not to date you!! I hope your girlfriend figures you out and dumps you. Also, when you said she was dicking around doing nothing useful (read: not cleaning up after KYLE), what exactly were you doing? You could’ve spent time cleaning your apartment as well.
@ Dalillama
Yeah, it was a weird set up. She basically only cared about the ‘big’ issues of the economy (even though she hated economists) and world affairs. That meant she had an inner circle consisting of the chancellor and the foreign secretary of the time but she palmed off all the ‘domestic’ stuff to the rest of the cabinet, whom she pretty much left to their own devices.
That did of course mean they had a free rein. The idea of collective responsibility is a weird one but it goes beyond toeing the party line. It’s arguably a constitutional requirement if Erskine May is to be believed (and that’s pretty much the bible as far as parliament goes), hence the fuss about the seemingly trivial mater of letting ministers and shadow ministers articulate their own views publicly on the EU and Trident.
She could have course overruled her minsters, unlike the Labour Party, policy is not set by conference, but she was already facing a coup for being too dictatorial so she let them have their head on matters she didn’t thing affected finance or the UKs position abroad.
Once she did that, she had to sing from the same hymn sheet.
Obviously that doesn’t make the position right but I doubt however nonsensical she may have thought the legislation was, it was ever going to be a resigning matter for her.
If you’re interested in the mechanics of collective responsibly an interesting place to start is with the Gulf War and Robin Cook and Claire Short.
So… depriving yourself of necessary sleep is self-improvement now?
@Shaenon
Woo! NorCal here too. Have met said guys (albeit not in the ‘being hit on’ context). Have laughed at said guys.
Please tell me you’ve managed to knock them down a peg or two. If pretentiousness were a fuel source, the bay area would be 100% self-sufficient by now.
For whatever reasons, I decided to take a peek at his blog. We have
http://thisistrouble.com/2016/01/01/where-to-take-a-girl-on-a-date/
Naturally, in a totally original fashion, he has to first explain why you shouldn’t do those things that immediately come to mind when people think of ‘where to go on a date’. Which, in his mind, is “Dinner”, “Movies” and “anything ‘cute'”.
His disdain for “anything cute” aside from assuming all women ever like ‘cute stuff’, is the classic ‘you’re the prize’ blablabla ‘you gotta be exerting dominence to attract’ blablabla
But his views on dinner dates were fairly…. ‘strong’ (TW for body shaming)
I think we’ve found the source of his pancake-phobia. Also, dude sounds miserable. Is that really what you think EVERY time you and your girlfriend eat?
But if you think that’s bad, wait until you hear where he does suggest to take a woman on a date (TW for rape denial)
So his ‘game’ = getting women drunk and having sex with them. And of course, his guru has him covered:
Dude, that’s rape. “but Roosh said it isn’t” ain’t gonna do you much good in court.
Ah yes, groping a drunk woman is so much harder when you’re a table away.
For bonus misogyny, here’s some seething entitlement:
http://thisistrouble.com/2015/12/19/dating-america-does-it-ever-get-better/
If you capture the fumes of his entitlement, you could distill the substance in a thick suryp that goes great with pancakes! Just sayin’
One more tidbit here:
She gets up in time to be at the gym by 9 AM. Figure shower and basic maintenance and travel time–unless they live over the gym, I’m calling it at 8 AM, at the latest.
She’s then going to work at 2 PM on a Saturday. This means she either has a second-shift job, in which case she’s working until 10-11, or she has a part-time job, in which case she’s probably working until at least 6 PM.
She got up 6 hours before the start of her job, just to spend time with this entitled, selfish, self-centered waste of oxygen. I can only hope that she soon realizes she can do so, so much better (even being on her own would be better, really), or even better, that she doesn’t really exist.
@ moocow
Possible TMI Warning
The bit about not wanting to watch a woman eat is a bit weird (not that any of it makes a lot of sense). The erotic potential in eating together is enormous. I’m pretty sure I’m not alone in that view, it’s practically a trope in films and the like.
Wow.
It’s this kind of shit that makes me think our culture’s current female beauty standard of super skinniness is rooted in misogyny. Food is necessary for everyone to live. It’s not thinness that’s inherently attractive, it’s a weak and self loathing woman denying herself nourishment for the approval of others that’s attractive. This is why extreme misogynists who aren’t trying to hide their hatred will admit they don’t like to see even a naturally thin woman eat more than rabbit food. Women aren’t supposed to enjoy life. We’re supposed to fret and worry and deny ourselves pleasure. Our actual weight is irrelevant to them.
It’s shit like this that helps stop me starving myself again. Because fuck Kyle and his stupid misogynistic boner.
That is true about literally everyone.
I took the husbeast out for pancakes this morning because this post made me crave them yesterday. They tasted way better than ususal because I was able to think of them as yummy breakfast misandry, so thanks, David!
katz:
I am proud to say that I have realized my potential!
I notice a lack of any decent females in this comments section who are all criticizing me.
I rest my case.
Can January 11th heretofore be known as Internet Pancake Day? We shall celebrate healthy gender relations with the sharing of pancakes! Huzzuh!
@Aura
Yes! Real maple syrup, please!
@Moocow
Wait, wut — Kyle won’t be in America much longer? Nooo!
OK, clearly Kyle hates women and women’s bodies.
Then there’s the flip side of the same coin (the power coin): Some guys hate rib cages and want fat rolls. And they’re so infatuated with their own power that they’ll try to make their girlfriends comply with their preference/demand.
Idiot doesn’t realize he’s the one who’s likely abnormally hyperactive. Silly normal humans are just lazy for not being abnormal like him.
@WWTH
I can’t imagine what that’s like to go through, have some pancake related hugs! (if you’d like)
*high five*
Okay, this is some gross, dehumanizing shit right here. “Kyle” doesn’t even think we deserve to eat lest we wilt his boner with The Dreaded Fat Rolls. How dare we feeemales be selfish and eat food like Real People (Men) do?! Wimmenz are supposed to be lifeless dolls that Real People take out on dates, and they don’t need to eat!
Hey, Kyle? Know where women’s bodies have fat? BOOBS. I know you douchebags love the fun bags, right? Let a girl fucking eat.
Every fucking human being on this goddamned planet has the “potential to get fat”, doofus. Yes, even you, you gross, gross, bandwidth leech.
We are not dolls, we need to fucking eat food. I’m so sorry (no I’m not) that our natural bodily functions gross you out so fucking much, you moldy potato. I hope your girlfriend finds your blog and drops your ass like a bad habit, and finds someone far more deserving of her and her devotion.
Now, if you excuse me, I’m going to go eat some delicious homemade crab cakes. (They didn’t hold together for shit, but it was my first time making them, and they taste delicious, so cake-shape be damned!)
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6k9gsNWpk1qbzqexo1_500.gif
Uh, you know, I was kidding about that “being selfish for eating” thing, I didn’t expect him to actually think that way.
He also said he didn’t like to see anyone at all eat. Dude’s got issues. It isn’t just romantic couples that eat together. Friends do it. Families do it. The word companion roughly means someone you break bread with in Latin. I can’t, off the top of my head think of any cultures that don’t have some sort of holiday or celebration that includes lots of food. It seems to me that bonding with food is a part of human nature. He really does seem to be a sad sack, doesn’t he? If he weren’t such a throbbing ass pimple, I might feel bad for him.
I didn’t know those existed, but gladly accepted!
Hehehehe…in response to that I bring another food porn montage. This time with girls eating.
http://49.media.tumblr.com/2d725d6efc0aea8209ba41ff32ecddd8/tumblr_nmcrxk54eu1us84lco2_500.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/04bed93fa472b8f5cf75a62cebad4a56/tumblr_nmcrxk54eu1us84lco1_500.gif
The show these images are from is called “Koufuku Graffiti,” by the way.
I see no one wants to reply to remark about the lack of decent looking girls here. Proves m
Typical anti male self-improvement/feminists.
Oh look, Kyle is here!
…said the guy who advocates getting women drunk, the better to rape them (Really? This is your idea of original advice?)
Tell us more about decency. Tell us how decent it is to resent your girlfriend because she wanted to spend a relaxing morning with you, but having to talk to her kept you away from the important work of monetizing your contempt for women.
Tell us more about decency, and how you can’t stand watching women eat because every calorie reduces her value as a trophy.
You can’t, because you don’t have the first idea what decency is. Other people are apparently just NPCs to you, objects that exist solely to advance or hinder you, without any dreams or thoughts or inner lives of their own. Good luck with your plan to move abroad and play Great White Rich Savior – you’re going to find that women in other countries have just as zero a tolerance for bullshit. And all of them eat.
Bonus self-improvement tip: it’s “women”, not “females”.
Sorry, you need to solve for x first. Your whole theory is off.