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Beware the Pancake-Eating Girlfriends of Doom, Red Pill Dude Warns

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Pancakes: Tool of the devil

On the This is Trouble blog, the Red Pill Lothario and former Return of Kings contributor known only as Kyle has issued a dire warning to contemporary men: women will “drag you towards mediocrity” if you let them.

The worst offenders? Pancake-eating women.

I mean, let’s just say you’re a super cool dude who’s maybe three months into a relationship with some hot pre-wall broad. Obviously, Kyle notes, she’s totally into you due to “various measures: your health, your wealth, and your overall drive motivation, etc.”

That’s cool. But then she starts doing crap that interferes with your ability to have, like, the best health, wealth and drive motivation. Like, the stuff that made her into you in the first place!

Instead of  “encourag[ing] you to wake up at 6am on a Saturday to hit the gym” and work your side-hustle selling juice or writing ebooks on how to get hot babes, or whatever, she JUST WANTS TO SLEEP IN.

[G]irls flat-out self sabotage the very thing they’re attracted to by trying to keep you in bed with them all day, sleeping in and just being a lazy slob in general.

Come back to bed, honey, these torpid Sirens cry.

They will literally hold you back in moving forward because women have no sense of needing to move forward, EVER.

And that’s where the pancakes come in.

Even the ones that are in shitty positions in life (no career, no skills, no goals) have this self entitlement complex that a man is going to save them – SOMEDAY. It’s why they sit around in the mornings and eat pancakes rather than get up and be productive.

The pancakes! The horror!

Now, if this thing about pancakes seems like a weirdly specific complaint about contemporary women, well, that’s because it’s really a complaint about one particular woman, that woman being Kyle’s current girlfriend, an admitted pancake eater who, on one recent occasion actually delayed his Saturday morning trip to the gym by an hour. 

You see, Kyle has got important shit to do. Not like you women.

Most girls simply go home from their 9-5 hellhole and turn on the TV, killing their brain cells and souls by watching shit involving the Kardashians. The smart girls go to the gym, and spend time preparing their own meals to better themselves in that sense. However, I’ve yet to meet a girl who does the gym, meal prep, and everything else I do on a day-to-day basis to keep moving forward on the self improvement and freedom path.

Preach it, brother!

That usually involves the 9-5 gig, a minimum of 2-3 hours a work on side work (10+ a day on weekends), an hour workout, and I still make time for friends, dates, etc. The trick is that I know how to get by on little sleep, I minimize my commute and I don’t waste any time.

Most women just cannot handle what I do on a day-to-day basis.

Hell, just hearing about all this makes me tired. No, not tired. What’s that other word that’s sort of like tired? Bored.

So anyway, Kyle was just going along living his impeccable life. And then came The Morning of the Pancakes.

Kyle recounts this terrible ordeal in graphic detail.

He and his girlfriend of one month are lying in bed on a Saturday afternoon.

I had wanted to go the gym at roughly 8am, and she said she wanted to join me. So of course we didn’t get there until about 9am.

I believe this is a violation of the Geneva Conventions. It should be, anyway.

At the gym, as I worked through a brutal superset workout…what did she do?

Walked on the treadmill.

Damn treadmill-walking lazy-ass woman!

Oh, and she did two whole sets of planks with me at the end.

Correction: Damn treadmill-walking, two-plank-set-doing lazy-ass woman!

Brace yourself, dear reader, because it gets worse.

After we got back from the gym, she really wanted to go and get pancakes.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!1!!

And steak and eggs sounded like a good post-workout meal to me. I relented and went, and in Los Angeles, $30 is about the minimum you can spend on any meal for two.

Somehow I’m guessing that Kyle here is not much of a tipper.

Finally, another hour and a half and $32.67 later, we were full and headed home.

Yeah, he’s definitely not a good tipper. I mean, given that he’s holding onto his resentment that the meal for two cost $2.67 more than the arbitrary amount he expected the meal to cost.

But she didn’t have work until 2pm – so of course she dicked around my apartment (of course, didn’t make herself useful and clean up my apartment or anything) until 1:15pm…and ended up being late to work anyway.

By the time she was gone and I settled into a working groove, it was 2pm and half the day was gone.

A moment of silence, please, for the half of Kyle’s Saturday so cruelly murdered by his girlfriend.

Rest in Peace, Half of Kyle’s Saturday. Rest in Peace.

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Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

@mrex

Girl you’re dating the wrong people. Baked goods on the face increase SMV by at least a thousand around here.

Also, as my avatar demonstrates, I lift.

@FemmaNotZzz – It’s women doing *anything* that bugs them, because it’s a constant reminder that we’re not blowup dolls. Constantly complaining about all the ways in which women are horibble/uppity lets them cling to the fiction that they’re alpha and in control.

ScarlettAthena
ScarlettAthena
4 years ago

Sorry I’m late to this thread. Just got back from wasting time… um, going to a conference then taking some personal time to visit Hawaii. I ate Macadamia nut pancakes with coconut syrup. I didn’t know I was misandering at the time!

There are so many issues with dude’s post, but lots of people have pointed these out, so I have just two things to late add to the discussion:

(1) I agree with Buttercup Q. Skullpants. Women doing *anything* is a source of complaints. If GF wasn’t on the treadmill but lifting weights, he would be complaining about how girls shouldn’t life weights. If she had suggested a carb-free meat-filled glutton fest, he would complain about how girls don’t know how to order steak. If she had picked up his apartment, he would complain about how she did it. It really doesn’t matter what she does, he will find something to pick at.

(2) I believe we are in the presence of a new fallacy: argumentum ad sexum: I was having sex, therefore my argument prevails.

Ire
Ire
4 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention

It’s like an eternal spiral of Women Suck Because Women Suck…

For some reason their circular logic bugs me the most. Especially stuff like, women are dependant on ManMoney and that’s WRONG but women shouldn’t work because it’s wrong so women are dependant on ManMoney…

Well, you get the idea >_>

Paradoxical Intention
4 years ago

@Ire: Like I said, it’s one of the many Hula-Hoops of Hell that is Manospherian Lojik.

http://www.hervelegerobsessed.com/files/users/3/Korean_hula_hoop.jpg

They all look like this, except they’re covered in spikes covered in venom and bile.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Ire

It’s like an eternal spiral of Women Suck Because Women Suck…

For some reason their circular logic bugs me the most. Especially stuff like, women are dependant on ManMoney and that’s WRONG but women shouldn’t work because it’s wrong so women are dependant on ManMoney…

Yes, a woman is always to blame.

Mark Fox
Mark Fox
4 years ago

I never tip what are you talking about. You make it sound like he does dine and dash

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
4 years ago

FYI, tomorrow is free pancake day at IHOP!

Nick
Nick
4 years ago

Before I met my girlfriend, I was working out a lot and doing all that stuff. Yes, when we first met, being fit and stuff was part of what attracted her.

Sure enough, that started to go out the window as I hung out with her more, stayed in bed later, and did all of those other things… because I enjoyed doing them more and I was happy. It’s simple. If you feel trapped by that, maybe relationships just aren’t for you.

I’ll never be swoleripjacked again, because I’m busy being happy.

DrSpaceJunk
DrSpaceJunk
4 years ago

This made me laugh so much.

GenJones
GenJones
4 years ago

@Anarchonist

It’s really easy to make a veggie thai pot, just add some assorted veggies, stock, coconut milk, seasoning and boil. Then garnish with a sprinkle of peanuts, basil and a dash of soy sauce and lime juice. Another slow cooker soup I love is curried sweet potato with butternut squash, coconut, garlic, onion and ginger. P=

I also recommend making large portions of simple sides and then portioning out an assorted plate for meals to combat monotony. Cucumbers sliced thinly or grated with a vegetable peeler and drizzled with sesame oil, lemon juice and pepper makes an AMAZING salad.

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