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cuckolding evil SJWs misogyny racism red pill return of kings rhymes with roosh

Jimmy Kimmel Mocks Return of Kings With A More Manly Version of The Force Awakens

A big congratulations is in order for odious Red Pill dirtbag Roosh Valizadeh and all his equally odious followers: Return of Kings is now not only the laughingstock of the internet but of television as well!

(And, yes, Return of Kings isn’t a Men’s Rights site per se, bla bla bla; they just agree with MRAs on about 90 percent of everything.)

Naturally, Roosh’s fanboys are crying “cuck!” And making even bigger idiots of themselves by trying and failing to get a #CuckKimmel hashtag trending on Twitter.

https://twitter.com/QuintusCurtius/status/684811701661773824

https://twitter.com/rooshv/status/684819057955205120

https://twitter.com/QuintusCurtius/status/684812454216380416

https://twitter.com/QuintusCurtius/status/684812627726307328

https://twitter.com/GmacGame/status/684837305417351168

Great work, fellas! I’m sure these HILARIOUS and not at all incomprehensible tweets will win the masses over to your side.

H/T — Several people tipped me off to this one; thanks especially to ND Hall, who pointed me to the Roosh fanboy tweets as well.

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dhag85
dhag85
5 years ago

OT: The latest episode of This American Life is “545: If You Don’t Have Anything Nice to Say, SAY IT IN ALL CAPS”

About internet comments and trolls, including the Lindy West story where she talks to her worst troll, and men being angry at women’s voices, etc.

Dark Statistic
Dark Statistic
5 years ago

No! Not Alberta again, dammit!

At least it’s not Edmonton this time.

#notallEdmontonians #CalgaryisokaytooIguess

Ellesar
Ellesar
5 years ago

I expect much anti Semitism and misogyny to emerge as a result of Kimmel’s previous relationship with Sarah Silverman.

Roosh has got it sewn up hasn’t he – every man who disagrees with him has some kind of defect, and the publicity, however bad. he sees as drawing more men to his ’cause’ – ie undermining women the world over.

I do want to see an end to this – Roosh needs to fade into obscurity – he is the epitome of the mundanity of evil.

dhag85
dhag85
5 years ago

I found myself wishing this were a more accurate parody of RoK and similar man-o-sites but it would probably be too obscure for mainstream TV. Nobody would understand the lingo and nonsense memes.

Mikkay
Mikkay
5 years ago

“What the hell are cologne rapes??” Do I even want to know???

Here Kitty Kitty! (@Layla_In_SoCal)
Here Kitty Kitty! (@Layla_In_SoCal)
5 years ago

Off topic, but Jimmy Kimmel looks really GOOD with a beard.

Ben (not that one)
Ben (not that one)
5 years ago

Thanks for putting in those tweets! Normally that sort of thing is region blocked, so here in Australia you have to do some tiresome thing to see it, but thanks to that guy’s mantrum I could actually watch it straight up.

Here Kitty Kitty! (@Layla_In_SoCal)
Here Kitty Kitty! (@Layla_In_SoCal)
5 years ago
sbel
sbel
5 years ago

@Mikkay
Cologne is a place in Germany. Some women were attacked there on New Year’s Eve.

Right wing conspiracy buffs think that the “liberal media” is not covering it enough because the attackers may be muslims and/or immigrants and/or refugees.

edit: Ninja’d, of course. 😉

Cygnia
5 years ago

More and more I hope the next film has Poe/Finn be canon on top of Rey being an asexual badass…

Terrabeau
Terrabeau
5 years ago

Possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever seen come from Kimmel’s show. I think I might have woken up my landlord laughing.

Re:Cologne rapes

Yeah, it’s basically the perfect dream for European populists to seize on: a large-scale spree of sexual harassment, molestation, and at least one possible case of rape alleged at a mob of mostly Maghreb men. German officials are handling it pretty well and aren’t jumping to any conclusions yet, but that hasn’t stopped anti-immigration shits from dogpiling on Merkel and her policies.

Bina
5 years ago

“Cuck Kimmel” sounds like the name of a really crappy and inane Star Wars character who’s only in it for the comic relief. Just sayin’.

Re: the sexual assaults in Köln (which I guess most non-German speakers can’t pronounce, seeing as it’s an Umlaut sammitched between three consonants, so it has to be stretched into two syllables), I’ve been following and blogging/translating about this. The police are now saying most if not all of the attacks are by “repeat offenders” already known to them, and that the perps have “nothing to do with refugees”. Some accounts claim it’s an organized purse-snatching ring, and that the assaults are a distraction aimed at making the woman forget whatever she’s carrying. If true, that’s still shitty and sexist as hell, because when’s the last time you saw a man get his ass purposefully groped as a distraction in the act of pick-pocketing? Yeah, women get a SPECIAL form of sexist distraction leveled at them while thieves make off with their wallets and cellphones. Lovely.

Also, UGH, the racism. Refugees from Afghanistan and Syria, getting blamed for things that a bunch of other guys are doing. White German dudes are just as capable of raping as anyone else, hello. And anyway: Aren’t Roosh & Co. all bullish on rape? Or is it only okay (and therefore, not-rape) when white (and in Roosh’s case, Iranian) dudes do it, with “seduction” as their euphemism?

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Dark Statistic, I had that exact same reaction. Endless Albertan headpalming.

Edit: but also Cowtown 5ever

Sarah
Sarah
5 years ago

#CuckKimmel tries to demonize normal masculinity but won’t say anything about #Cologne rapes.

Um – what?

(ETA – yes, I’m aware of the alleged sexual assaults in Cologne over New Year’s weekend. That non sequitur hurt my brain.)

Bina
5 years ago

PS: There were also mass sexual assaults in Hamburg and Stuttgart on NYE. In particular, in Hamburg on the Reeperbahn, the (in)famous red-light district. And Stuttgart, like Köln, has become (in)famous in recent years for its megabrothels and the human-trafficking rings that provide the girls (and they ARE, in many cases, under-age, as well as poor and from Eastern Europe) to staff them. The brothels advertise openly on billboards in many places, and much of what they advertise deserves a hefty dose of side-eye: no condoms, no limits, flat rates, cheap. STDs and drug use abound. And the cops don’t get called unless there’s a corpse in one of their sleazy little rooms. Meaning, the girls have to put up with a hefty dose of men’s shit for very little cash, and what they do make is largely eaten up by the room rent, which is extortionate and reminds me of the scrip system that used to prevail in coal mines in the bad old days. You’d have to be pretty blinded by ideology to call that “sex-positive”. It’s capitalism at its very ugliest. And the girls bear the brunt of it all.

So color me totally unsurprised that three of the German cities most strongly associated with overt prostitution also have a sex-assault problem. The young guys who did it probably don’t have the money to pay 50 or 100 euros for flat-rate brothel creeping, so they grab women on a public street on a night when there’s lots of noise and mass confusion, and get their ugly jollies for free that way. Still a form of organized robbery, since the women are being stripped of their sense of security and their dignity, and that quite systematically. And an object lesson in how pervasive rape culture is in Germany. It’s that, not immigration, that’s the real problem there.

Bina
5 years ago

Aaand I’m getting furious just thinking of all that, and how these sleazeballs are using it to score what they think are points in some kind of fucking game. So I’ll just show myself out before I start yelling and throwing things. ‘night all.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Dem boobs…niiiiiiiice

I like the video except the “crazy” part.

People will get upset when someone will “demonize masculinity” but will make femininity inferior compared to masculinity aka “emasculating”

And I’m tired of what women should do to be feminine and men should do to be masculine. Women will always be feminine and men will always be masculine no matter what they like or do.

Bina
Nighty night

Luzbelitx
5 years ago

@Bina

I feel you. Internet hugs if you want them.

http://i.imgur.com/sSX8KAO.gif

Also, we were mocking internet misogyny before it was mainstream!

Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

@ Bina

From the description you give it sounds very similar to a brief phenomenon we had in London in the 90s. It was called “steaming”.

Same sort of MO. A large group would suddenly rush into a crowd, sometimes outdoors, sometimes in places like restaurants. They’d grab people either to molest them or hit them and in the chaos make off with property.

There was a big panic about it but it just fizzled out. There are some theories as to why that was; greater use of the doctrine of joint enterprise to prosecute being one. According to my clients though it was mainly economic. Takes a lot of organising, rows about divvying up the proceeds and doesn’t net as much as you can get operating in smaller groups and just engaging in standard street robberies or distraction thefts.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

J. K. Rowling tweeted this about the Cologne sexual assaults (which were news to me):

The best comment I’ve read on the Cologne attacks, written by a black man of African descent living in Germany.

http://www.okwonga.com/how-to-deal-with-the-sexual-assaults-in-cologne/

Musa Okwonga is a poet who studied law at Oxford. He certainly knows his way around words!

AsAboveSoBelow
AsAboveSoBelow
5 years ago

The way these clowns use the word “cuckold” renders it absolutely meaningless.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@Luzbelitx

Also, we were mocking internet misogyny before it was mainstream!

Yes! Because we — imbued with the spirit of Katie and led by our dark lord, David — are damned edgy!

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@AsAboveSoBelow

The way these clowns use the word “cuckold” renders it absolutely meaningless.

Torturing words? It’s what they do. It’s who they are.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

Everyone knows cocks don’t tweet. They just stand around going “Cuck! Cuck! Cuck!”

#CuckKimmel tries to demonize normal masculinity but won’t say anything about #Cologne rapes.

Yes, because everyone knows that humans are simple creatures who are only capable of caring about one thing at a time, and if we’re only talking about one thing, we must stop caring about all other things immediately, or our brains will explode!

Wait…what? What’s that? That’s not actually true? We’re actually perfectly capable of caring about more than one thing at a time, but there’s a time and a place to discuss things, and Kimmel’s show is more about comedy?

What about the “demonizing masculinity” thing? What? Making fun of stereotypically “bro” behaviors isn’t demonizing masculinity at all?

Well, alright then, carry on.

RoscoeTCat
RoscoeTCat
5 years ago

I don’t know if I like the idea of “Return of Kings” getting publicity on a nationally-known TV program. For those bottom-feeders, any publicity is good publicity. I also saw “RoK” mentioned in “Glamour” magazine, negatively of course.

S.
S.
5 years ago

If you think Jimmy Kimmel is edgy or relevant, I guarantee you are a total wuss.

Well, OK. Stopped clock and all that, I guess.

HeinzD
HeinzD
5 years ago

Dark Statastic:

We have a Honey Badger infestation here in Cowtown so we’re not much better.

lolallama
lolallama
5 years ago

Hey, as it turns out, jimmy is a ‘cuck’!!

Biot (yet again!)
Biot (yet again!)
5 years ago

@Kat, thank you for the link to Musa Okwonga’s article that placed the Köln assaults in a greater societal context.
@Bina, thank you, too, for filling in more of the details about the other assaults that happened on New Year’s Eve, and the gender/sexual dimensions behind the assaults. I kinda-sorta remembered that Germany had legalized prostitution to a degree, but I didn’t know that the red-light districts in Stuttgart and Hamburg, and their clientele, may have stoked these incidents.
And @Terrabeau, that’s probably the funniest thing I’ve heard this week. I hope your landlord will understand if (s)he come knocking!

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

Apparently the MGTOW wikipedia article* originally written and approved by MGTOWs (which caused an uproar over at Wikipedia because it didn’t fit any standards) just ended up in a whinefest about feminism. Like every other conversation MGTOWs have. SHOCK.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Talk:Men_Going_Their_Own_Way

Scroll down to “How to improve this article” to drink in the delicious, delicious schadenfreude.

*written and approved by MGTOWs! Argued over by all because it didn’t fit standards!

darkstatistic
darkstatistic
5 years ago

Viscaria — We gotta stick together. It’s the only way our desks and our heads will make it through intact and undented.

HeinzD — I see you one flock/swarm/colony/plague* of honeybadgers and raise you a Don’t Be That Girl.

*The collective noun of badgers is evidently “cete” but it doesn’t seem fitting somehow…

Lady Mondegreen
Lady Mondegreen
5 years ago

@Bina

STDs and drug use abound. And the cops don’t get called unless there’s a corpse in one of their sleazy little rooms. Meaning, the girls have to put up with a hefty dose of men’s shit for very little cash, and what they do make is largely eaten up by the room rent, which is extortionate and reminds me of the scrip system that used to prevail in coal mines in the bad old days. You’d have to be pretty blinded by ideology to call that “sex-positive”. It’s capitalism at its very ugliest. And the girls bear the brunt of it all.

Thank you.

RocketRoach
RocketRoach
5 years ago

@AsAboveSoBelow

The way these clowns use the word “cuckold” renders it absolutely meaningless.

Considering what it actually means, that’s almost a good thing.

Some concepts simply don’t deserve a specific and “legitimate” word of their own.

abars01
abars01
5 years ago

Okay, I have officially had enough of talking/hearing about Star Wars. Can we move on to something else now, please?

authorialAlchemy
authorialAlchemy
5 years ago

That MGTOW wikipedia article-

Criticisms of MGTOW

How can a valid criticism of MGTOW be that it doesn’t concern itself with women? It’s “MEN” going their own way, nor it is some sort of social advocacy group that concerns itself with the plight of anyone. It’s a lifestyle a very hard to define life style that mostly consists of men who think the current social system is not in their favor.

Ha, if feminism can have a criticism section, then the fucking MGTOW movement can have one! And yeah, it looks like a movement/lifestyle. Like living in communes. Except I consider communes a good thing.

Praise

This article is good. I will start a separate section talking about ways to improve it, but first wanted a praise section for all who’ve worked on it, as they’ve filled a sorely needed lacuna on Wikipedia with a very good start.

This isn’t how Wikipedia works.

katz
5 years ago

How fragile does your ego have to be if you can’t even write a gorram Wikipedia page without someone patting you on the head and telling you what a good job you did?

Orion
Orion
5 years ago

Honestly, I would have assumed that *every* city probably has a lot of assaults on New Year’s Eve. Mass intoxication, crowds, people out late at night, etc. One of the Koeln stories mentioned 8 women being attacked, but I bet they could have written that about any city that night.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

What LadyMondegreen said.

Dark Statistic
Dark Statistic
5 years ago

@Jarnsaxa

Holy crow, that Wikipedia talk page was a rollercoaster from start to finish. Reminded me of talking to a toddler that won’t give up with the “Why? Why? Why?” until you finally lose patience and just revert to, “BECAUSE I SAID SO!”

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

@Orion

What’s your point? That makes things worse, not better.

@otherwise

Is there a collective noun for MRAs yet? If not, it should be “Barnyard.” They’re all filthy shit-slinging pigs* and there’s a constant cry of “CUCK CUCK BLACK CAWK.”

*No offense meant to actual pigs, which are clean, intelligent and adorable.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

I’m not familiar with Jimmy Kimmel, but are rapes in Germany the sort of thing people would expect him to joke about on his show?

Chaltab
Chaltab
5 years ago

@theartfulman @QuintusCurtius His bosses commanded him to read from the screen. He’s a good boy, that @jimmykimmel

Why is it that MRAssholes always seem to think that any time a man mocks them they’re just following the orders of some nefarious overlord? Maybe Kimmel came to the conclusion that those guys are ridiculous of his own accord.

*No offense meant to actual pigs, which are clean, intelligent and adorable.

And delicious. Whereas the thought of eating an MRA/GTOW is even less appealing than cannibalism normally is.

Okay, I have officially had enough of talking/hearing about Star Wars. Can we move on to something else now, please?

There’s another Star Wars movie coming out this year and every year for the foreseeable future. If you’re not on board… best find a way to tune it out, because God help you otherwise..

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Apparently the MGTOW wikipedia article* originally written and approved by MGTOWs (which caused an uproar over at Wikipedia because it didn’t fit any standards) just ended up in a whinefest about feminism. Like every other conversation MGTOWs have. SHOCK.

And be sure to read ShadowKomet’s talk page – where the soon-to-be-banned MRA was outed as the sock of a previously banned MRA. DOUBLE SHOCK.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

Why is it that MRAssholes always seem to think that any time a man mocks them they’re just following the orders of some nefarious overlord? Maybe Kimmel came to the conclusion that those guys are ridiculous of his own accord.

Siege mentalities and the belief in conspiracies are classic hallmarks of extremist politics, because as the extremists diverge from reality everyone who’s still clinging to it seems to be in league.

MRAs know that they aren’t ridiculous; therefore the fact that everyone else finds them ridiculous must be due to orders from a shadowy cabal somewhere. Precisely who this shadowy cabal happens to be tends to differ from extremist to extremist, but depressingly often it comes back to Jewish people.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

@dhag – It’s actually an older episode, I think from about this time last year. I’m not chiming in here to be picky, but just in case someone wanted to look for it but tried to do so by date.

*Googles*

Here’s the link:

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/545/if-you-dont-have-anything-nice-to-say-say-it-in-all-caps

It really a good episode, even by TAL standards.

dhag85
dhag85
5 years ago

@mockingbird

Hmm. Are they doing reruns right now? I don’t get it.

Yeah, seems like reruns. Sorry about that.

EDIT: Yup, it’s from Jan 23, 2015.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

@Bina – I was actually in favor of legalizing and regulating prostitution before I did more research into what legalization generally ends up looking like (as you detailed in your post above).

I’m still for decriminalization, but I’m not smart enough to know how to make that work without encouraging abuse and trafficking to spring up around it.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

@dhag – Don’t be sorry!
I don’t think that they usually say one of their show’s is a rerun even over here.

I only knew that it had aired before because I’m ADD AF* and have found that listening to an audio book or podcast is just about the only way I don’t abandon a chore midway through because 12 other things popped into my mind. This American Life is one of my oft-used crutches.

*That’s not said to be ablest. I have a diagnosis and medication.
I’m not sure that my low-dose, orally administered speed actually addresses the issue in question (my hypothesis: that those who might be diagnosed with ADD/ADHD have brains / physiologies exceptionally maladapted to our current lifestyles; evidence: I felt clear and focused throughout US Army Basic training, an environment in which I was running/jumping/moving during nearly every waking moment), but it helps me focus on the more routine bits of life.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

I’m with Roscoe, I have mixed feelings about publicizing RoK. The public should be made aware of how awful it is, but Roosh’s head only swells with every mainstream media mention, as he imagines all the new traffic getting driven to his site.

The RoK Star Wars crawl was pretty funny, although it was unfortunate that they had to pull their punches for a mainstream audience. It reads more like a fist-bumping frat bro version of Star Wars and less like a fearful reactionary racist garbage site.

Here, let me try:

A long long time ago, in a poosy paradise far far away…

It has been 6 months since the battle of TORONTO ended with the defeat of Roosh and the rise of SHORT HAIRED WOMEN WITH AGENCY, now reorganized into the SJW CUCK ALLIANCE and firmly entrenched in Hollywood. Bros who DON’T EVEN LIFT are now emboldened to make movies.

Despite that, a small band of rebel hold outs has established a base on the planet ROOSHESBUTTKRAK, and continues to send defiant racist, misogynist transmissions. There are rumors that the ALLIANCE is planning to wipe out the DINGLEBERRIES and establish a peaceful society that sometimes caters to people other than white men. A grave new threat called MELANIN has arisen to challenge the galactic order. General ROOSH has sent several brave keyboard warriors to investigate from the smug confines of their bedroom…

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

I just realized: is this where MRAs get their RANDOM CAPITALS style of writing from?

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