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dozens of upvotes dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about empathy deficit entitled babies grandiosity kitties men created civilization men invented everything men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny post contains jokes post contains sarcasm PUA reactionary bullshit red pill reddit self-congratulation we hunted the mammoth

“Without men, our species returns to the muck,” dude sitting on his ass posting to Reddit declares

Man building civilization, in his basement
Man building civilization, in his basement

There’s some classic we-hunted-the-mammoth-ing going on in the Red Pill subreddit today, with some dude calling himself HumanSockPuppet reminding his fellow dudes of all the fine work done by the dudes of the species over the years, with regard to raising civilization from the muck, holding back chaos, that sort of thing.

In a heavily upvoted comment crying out for a dramatic reading, HumanSockPuppet declares that

Men must understand that WE are the valuable half of a relationship.

We are the designers, the workers, the innovators, the protectors. Forty-thousand years of our species’ dominance on the planet is built upon our efforts.

So declares a dude sitting on his ass posting to Reddit, in a message aimed at other dudes sitting on their asses reading Reddit.

Without men, our species returns to the muck, ill-equipped for survival in a harsh and unfettered world. We are the sex that battles against chaos. WE ARE ORDER.

Dude, it’s not just men. Everyone who owns a cat fights the forces of chaos on a daily basis.

Seriously. The story of civilization has basically been a 10,000-year-struggle against cats knocking over our crap.

A bitch’s job is just to make more men.

Huh. And when these, er, bitches eventually die off, how are all those men going to make more men? Seems like that might be a teensy little flaw in the argument there, ORDER MAN.

Women have become accustomed to the ease and fairness of society. They believe ease and fairness are inherent properties of the universe. No. Ease and fairness are extracted forcibly from nature by winning in battle against it with blood, and sweat, and tears, and time.

Blood and sweat, and tears, and time. Well, here’s Blood, Sweat and Tears:

And here’s The Time, with Morris Day:

Not sure what any of this has to do with extracting fairness from nature but, I dunno, the songs are pretty catchy.

So when a bitch starts acting like she’s entitled to the ease and fairness that you fought to win, why are you just handing it away?

Uh, I’m not sure that sitting on your ass posting to Reddit technically counts as fighting nature, red in tooth and claw.

Your time is precious. And anything that you spent your time to earn is also precious. If your life is together, your body is strong, your mind is acute, and your assets secure, then your worth is already proven. If someone wants a piece of what you have, they don’t get it for free. They must earn your love and appreciation by first offering theirs.

Hold up a hoop, set it on fire, and command her to jump.

And if she’s all like, what the hell are you talking about you pompous weirdo, you could try the hoop thing with your cat instead. I mean, your cat owes you some kind of entertainment after knocking over pretty much everything you own on a regular basis.

Just leave out the bit about lighting the hoop on fire. Fur burns.

H/T — r/TheBluePill

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Shalimar
Shalimar
4 years ago

or possibly this is more appropriate for him:

https://youtu.be/h4Kc_mB9N_M

“is it any wonder I’m sane at all?”

WeirwoodTreeHugger
WeirwoodTreeHugger
4 years ago

I often find myself wishing I could express myself in gifs offline.

Is that bad?

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

I often find myself wishing I could express myself in gifs offline.

Is that bad?

I hadn’t realised it until you mentioned it, but now I do too. We need Augmented Reality, stat.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

” I don’t think we can brag though until we’ve clocked up as much time as, say, T Rex. Brains and opposable thumbs seem like a big deal but that’s maybe just our confirmation bias. T Rex could have put up a decent argument that big teeth were more useful.”

Note that the tyranosaure genus have lived only about 2 millions years AFAIK, while the Homo genus is already 2.8 millions, so it’s actually pretty similar. Homo sapiens are only 200.000 years however, while Homo erectus survived more than 1 millions years.

That’s one of the thing it’s hard to visualize with dinosaurs : the dinosaur age is so incredibly long that most iconic species weren’t alive at the same time, and yet most genus did not last all that long either, because they constantly one-upped themselves.

I advice turtles for a race whose genus actually survived for like several hundred million. Insects might too, but it’s more speculative with the relative lack of trace of old insect.

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ ohlmann

I’m always freaked out that we’re closer in time to T Rex than T Rex was to Stegasorus.

But in terms of staying power, I’d put humans at no more than 100,000 years to date. If we allow other homo species then we have to allow Rex his pretty similar looking ancestors.

Sharks do pretty well too for shelf life. I’m telling you, it’s the teeth thing! 🙂

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
4 years ago

I might have missed this somewhere in the comment threaf, but just wanted to point out how ridiculous it is to say that “men [or women, for that matter] pulled society out of the muck”, because society pulled society out of the muck. That’s the whole point of a society, creating something that would be better for everyone in it.

Also, felt the need to say that while I find this SockPuppet dude and his ilk reprehensible, I’m somewhat uncomfortable with all the “he says that, while sitting at the computer eating cheetos in his mom’s basement” comments. I mean, say he happens to have a job and his own appartment – say, even, that he can hunt and grow vegetables and wash clothes – does that make hus views any less awful and wrong? No, it doesn’t.

mockingbird
mockingbird
4 years ago

I often find myself wishing I could express myself in gifs offline.

Is that bad?

I hadn’t realised it until you mentioned it, but now I do too. We need Augmented Reality, stat.

At least while driving.

Perhaps while trying to read, too.
My RBF can only go so far.

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ mockingbird

I’m not so sure about augmented reality whilst driving. My current vehicle has a TV screen that shows the surrounding view augmented by annotations showing collision hazards. But I end up just trying to decipher the various coloured lines and end up driving into walls.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
4 years ago

@kale:

Civilizations that are less spoiled than us who really have to struggle have always valued women’s necessary work, which was a lot of things men didnt do, like making temporary shelters & clothes, farming (in many tribes women did all or most of the ag), defending the homestead if men were away, caring for kids (which is actually hard) managing the home including accounting, cooking, & in some tribes domestic governance. Real History is being written & revised based on actual evidence while some people think their imaginations suffice.

I love the way these guys always manage to “No True Mammoth” away women’s contributions to civilization. If a woman did it, it just doesn’t count.

I also love their over-the-top St. Crispin’s Day rhetoric. They’re living in one of the safest, comfiest, most leisurely eras to be alive, and yet they have this unshakeable belief that their everyday lives are a brutal Hobbesian battle against an infinite swarm of enemies. To hear them talk, they’re always on the verge of attacking Omaha Beach. “Must…go…forcibly extract…lunch…from the commercially made box of pizza snacks sitting in the freezer…But first I need to cagefight Mother Nature for a bottle of Mountain Dew. I need cover! Do you copy me? Over!”

When you combine a siege mentality with the abundance mentality that Redpill preaches, you get a bunch of entitled tyrant-kings angry that “their” resources are being taken by the enemy. Maybe that partly explains their obsession with cucking and the dwindling number of acceptable Western women.

@dhag85:

Why do people have phones. Arrrghhhhhh

Because men keep inventing stuff. Without men, we’d all sink back into the primitive muck of rotary dials, party lines, and people answering calls.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 years ago

“But in terms of staying power, I’d put humans at no more than 100,000 years to date. If we allow other homo species then we have to allow Rex his pretty similar looking ancestors.”

I did exactly that. The genus of Tyrannosaurs lasted about 2 millions years in the records (once again, we may be spectaculary wrong on the estimations, since the absence of proof of older tyrannosaure isn’t proof of their absence). The Homo Genus is 2.8 million according to last estimate.

For specie-per-specie comparison, I don’t know how much time the T-rex actually lived (I guess we can try to guess from the half-a-dozen skeleton, but that’s not extremely reliable), and arguably we don’t know yet for human either.

The timeline of the larger family from wikipedia :
comment image
The tyrannosaure (genus, like the human genus) is one of the most successful one, at about 2 millions years confirmed.

Now, to be honest, I am more inspired by good old shark and turtles, or if we stay in dinosaurs, by raptors and the various ancestors of the birds. They seem a more workeable approach to planet dominations to me. A T-rex can’t allow itself to fall without breaking a leg or something, I would not want that even if the flipside is fearing no one.

I don’t look at my voicemail in my phone. If someone put something on it, it’s 99.99% of the time somebody wanting to sell me something. And I find smartphones stupid, I can live without a computer for 30 minutes without convulsions. No idea what they are supposed to be useful too, but that would be hardly the first time I don’t see the use of something.

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ Olhmann

There was a great documentary here a few nights ago that you might enjoy if you can track it down. All about deep sea sharks. Nearly had a heart attack when a goblin shark did that shooting out its jaws thing. Pretty awesome though.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
4 years ago

I find smartphones incredibly useful; if you don’t then great, but me, I use the maps (it’s so usrful to me to know I always have a map of wherever I’m going to, especially since the phone can tell where you are on the map), I use GPS (my GPS app updates traffic conditions, so sometimes I use it even when I know the route, just to avoid major traffic and have an ETA), I use public transit apps (over here, you can’t trust the bus timetables, but the apps have real-time data), I use Skype (to be in touch with my transatlantic BF who has a crappy SMS plan and no smartphone) and Whatsapp (more convenient than SMS, especially for groups), I use some more specialised stuff like dictionary apps and such which are just convenient to have around – and yes, I sometimes use it just to kill time on various websites, because it’s fun.
Again, not saying that any of these woyld be useful to you, but they are to me.

Scildfreja
Scildfreja
4 years ago

Smartphones are great, easily as world-changing as the personal computer was, probably moreso. Some of those world-changing effects are terrible, but they’re certainly world-changing! Most modern smartphones will give you a text transcription of the voicemails you get; i haven’t had to listen to a voicemail for like the past two years! That one’s thanks to Ray Kurzeweil and Nuance, weirdly enough. Thank you, Ray, for fueling my avoidance of phone-talking. My favourite thing about’em, though, is the usefulness to small business owners and people in developing regions. No computer, that’s fine – phone will be good enough for people to do what they need to do!

(I work to provide better learning opportunities in India and China, where availability of teachers is sparse but everyone’s got access to a smartphone. Creating educational resources in that sort of environment is totally upside-down compared to the west. We have a lot to learn from them, too!)

I don’t think I even want to address the actual topic of this post, because ewww.

Freemage
Freemage
4 years ago

I’ve actually subdivided to a tablet (bigger screen, most of the same apps that I could get on a smart-phone) and my old phone, which is dinosaur in its own right. The phone I want to get no longer exists, sadly. (For a relatively small window of time, Verizon had flip-phones that were hinged along the long side, giving it a horizontal screen on the upper half and a full keyboard on the lower half.)

Currently, they only have ‘slide’ models (which is what I own) to do something similar, but the problem with these is that they have a considerable pocket-dial rate; the joke in my circle is that my pants are having affairs with those friends who have the misfortune of being easily one-button dialed. (Basically, as the phone ages, the sensor that unlocks the phone when you use the slide becomes less finicky, and it will unlock at the slightest shift.)

As to folks who don’t like phones, dhag, my wife is one of them. She works in a tech support call center, and has an almost Pavlovian cringe reaction to the sound of a phone ring as a result. She still uses her phone for texting, though, as it’s just as reliable in terms of getting ahold of me when she needs to.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
4 years ago

Clearly I cannot wander off to make preparations for future regicides (theoretical, always theoretical and always done by legos when making online statements that would seem to be declarations plotting murders) – every time I do, I come back to find yet another dude has been online telling men that most women would do perfectly fine without, how useless women in general are. Dudes need to recognize how ridiculous the idiots that self-appoint themselves as the dude leaders are.

Maybe I should just expand the part of the population who will be targeted for a theoretical murder by legos and call it a day. Legos are a dangerous toy, with murderous intentions. Theoretically.

Falconer
Falconer
4 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw:

Sharks do pretty well too for shelf life. I’m telling you, it’s the teeth thing! 🙂

Horseshoe crabs. 450 million years old. Clearly multiple eyes, a big ol’ carapace, and no teeth is the way to go, at least until the two-legs appear.

Hambeast, Social Justice Beastie
Hambeast, Social Justice Beastie
4 years ago

@ petrovna:

But I must remind you, when female apes do it, it is not some imaginative creative process, it’s because they are lazy.

I’ve always thought that the old adage: “Necessity is the mother of invention” was rather incomplete. I always say if necessity is the mother of invention, then laziness is the father! :p

katz
4 years ago

Coelacanths clock in at 400 million years old, though they’re critically endangered now so maybe they’re a bad example.

Dord
Dord
4 years ago

Does the “WE ARE ORDER” quote make anyone else think of the reapers from Mass Effect?

Matt
Matt
4 years ago

If your life is together, your body is strong, your mind is acute, and your assets secure, then your worth is already proven.

And if not, there’s always posting MRA rants on Reddit in the desperate hope you’ll scrape together enough gold to buy moar Cheetos.

Florkje
Florkje
4 years ago

This kind of rant (“Men are valuable; women are not — make her bow down to you!”) is just wank material for these guys. The rant doesn’t have to be consistent at all. Writer and reader might not even believe what’s written. It just gives the woman-hating writer a thrill to write this stuff — and gives the woman-hating reader a thrill to read it.

Kat, my love of you(r analysis of the MRA mindset) grows every day 🙂

Brava yet again 🙂

Paradoxical Intention
4 years ago

EJ (The Other One) | January 6, 2016 at 1:41 am
Paradoxy, may I quote that diagram please? It’s awesome. I needs it. Neeeeeeeeeds.

Leda Atomica | January 6, 2016 at 1:58 am
@PI

You’re a legend! And I’ll have you on my team of preserving whatever I catch.

comment image

You guys can use whatever images I post here, and I’m including everyone in this (except for trolls and MRAs, they can fuck right off).

WE ARE ORDER

You know what happened to the last asshole who thought he was “order” showed up on my doorstep?

I beat the shit out of him and became the ruler of the Shivering Isles.

All hail Sheogorath!

Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

Hmm, horseshoe crab versus shark? Well there’s only one way to find out!

[Insert: Harry Hill picture]

reymohammed
4 years ago

Might be time for this quote from Monty Python:

Isn’t it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn’t it frightfully good to have a dong?
It’s swell to have a stiffy, it’s divine to own a dick
From the tiniest little tadger to the world’s biggest prick!

So three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake
Your piece of pork, your wife’s best friend, your Percy or your cock
You can wrap it up in ribbons, you can slip it in your sock
But don’t take it out in public or they will stick you in the dock
And you won’t…come…back!

katz
4 years ago

Hmm, horseshoe crab versus shark? Well there’s only one way to find out!

Rap battle?

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Florkje

This kind of rant (“Men are valuable; women are not — make her bow down to you!”) is just wank material for these guys. The rant doesn’t have to be consistent at all. Writer and reader might not even believe what’s written. It just gives the woman-hating writer a thrill to write this stuff — and gives the woman-hating reader a thrill to read it.

Kat, my love of you(r analysis of the MRA mindset) grows every day 🙂

Brava yet again 🙂

Aww, thanks! I have to say that We Hunted the Mammoth has made me smarter — and savvier about these MRM types.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
4 years ago

@katz:
Someone needs to contact EpicLloyd and NicePeter, stat. This could be huge.

Robjec
Robjec
4 years ago

Oh in my break from all this I did miss human sock puppet. He was well, most likely a person and not an angry bot.

But funny angry, like pretending stuff is logical and fool proof when it’s so much angry rambling 🙂

Merus
Merus
4 years ago

I know that these people are just making shit up to justify their fear of cooties, but they would not be able to post shit on the internet without Ada Lovelace inventing programming, and probably they’re using Hedy Lamarr’s method of encrypting transmissions on public radio bands. These nerdlingers wouldn’t be anywhere without Mary Shelley inventing science fiction, and they probably don’t get out much because Sherna Cornerford ran the very first fandom conference, for Star Trek.