A new post at Return of Kings, Roosh V’s site for terrible, terrible men, has me wondering: Do Red Pillers all harbor a secret wish to have sex with their dogs?
In the post, regular RoK contributor Max Roscoe reports on “10 Things My Dog Taught Me About Women.” His conclusion? That aside from that whole sex thing, he prefers his dog. Man’s faithful canine companions, he explains
are incredibly loyal, protective, and offer unconditional love, and will in some ways be more consistent, reliable, and rewarding than a woman. It’s often said that sexbots will be the end of the modern feminist. Dogs provide most of the positive benefits of women except sex, and owning one can benefit a man greatly.
Roscoe apparently dreams of a glorious future in which women can be replaced with a more pliable combo of sexbots and dogs.
Until the sexbots arrive, though, heterosexual men — or at least those heterosexual men who are unwilling to have sex with their dogs — are stuck with women.
But all is not lost, as Roscoe offers a number of useful suggestions on how men can make their girlfriends or wives more like dogs.
As Roscoe sees it, proper training is key for both women and dogs.
A well trained dog will know when it misbehaves, and will sense the disappointment or anger of its owner when it breaks the rules. Likewise, a woman should be trained to behave properly. Since Western civilization has abdicated its role in training members of both sexes how to behave politely and what proper roles are, men must take up this duty on our own.
Unfortunately, Roscoe notes, even well-trained dogs and women sometimes misbehave, making “slight corrections” necessary. All men need to do to get their women back in line is to become paranoid, controlling creeps.
Tell her to hit the gym when she’s gotten a bit out of shape, but don’t wait until she’s gained 20 pounds. Give her a limit on how much alcohol she can drink. Tell her she must inform you who she is going out with and where.
Women aren’t just like dogs; they’re also like children.
As we know, women are essentially large children, and like a teen who will gradually test the limits of his boundaries, a woman will push the rules to see how much she can get away with. Treat her like a father would his child, and let her know she is not to behave this way in the future. She will not only stop the harmful actions, but come to respect you even more.
So how can men tell if their wives or girlfriends are good dogs?
By their shiny coats. Dogs should have “well groomed hair” rather than “a matted, dirty, coat full of debris.” Same with women!
A “quality” woman, Roscoe proclaims, should
groom herself well, with long, feminine hair, trimmed and painted nails, and conservative clothing.
And she should have “clear, radiant skin,” rather than a “body mutilated with shrapnel and graffiti.”
She should also, Roscoe argues, know her place. Just as a dog is naturally “subservient to its owner,” so “a woman is naturally and normally the submissive partner to the man.”
This is the case, Roscoe explains, even if she has short hair.
No amount of short haircuts, business suits, you-go-girling or education can reverse the natural role than women play in the world.
But don’t bother to try to explain this to women. Hell, don’t bother to explain anything to them, because women, like dogs, don’t really understand human language. It’s all “blah blah blah Ginger” to them.
You can talk in a kind voice to a dog, and he will understand your loving happiness, and reciprocate, but beyond that, dogs are incapable of understanding you, interpreting your thoughts, empathizing, or using logic.
Likewise, it is a waste of time to get into deep discussions with women, expect them to rationalize or understand things, or even to truly empathize or love a man. … While a dog or woman can respect and honor you, and make you feel good, they cannot truly understand you, or love you the way you love them.
I’m thinking that Roscoe should not only be kept away from women, but from dogs as well.
Absolutely. It requires you to learn the particulars of operant conditioning, buy a clicker, find out what your cat likes to eat, and then make sure your cat is hungry.
That last part is the part that fails me. I can’t have a hungry cat, that I know is hungry, and not feed it, but that’s what you need to do. I think its easier with dogs, because dogs always want a little bite of chicken regardless of what kind of meal they’ve had, whereas cats need to be legit hungry to care about the food in your hand.
Umm, Paradoxy? Are you sure Apollo and Annie don’t plan to murder you in your sleep? Because I’m sure I heard creepy waterphone music when I looked at the pictures.
Malice W Underland
Well, they don’t find tattoos attractive on a woman (I assume it’s one of those creepy “innocence” obsessions they have). A woman doing something that they don’t find attractive is unacceptable. What use is a woman if she’s not attractive??? That is the their only worth to men and they ruin it! It’s the ultimate misandry.
Because we do things that aren’t for the purpose of being attractive to them, we’re wasting our freedom, and therefore don’t deserve it.
BJDs have that effect on some people. XD
I do have to admit though, that’s part of the reason I love them so much is because they’re creepy for a lot of people. I like creepy things, and while I don’t find them that creepy myself, they’re still really fun to dress up, and it’s almost invoking my childhood and all the dolls I played with as a kid. Now it’s just more expensive. (A brand-new Apollo would be 180 USD.)
I think it’s a bit of both, and a huge dash of personal preference mixed with the entitlement that comes with the attitude of “My experiences and preferences are universal because I am a cishet white dude and everyone caters to those experiences and preferences, as they should.”
So when they meet a woman who isn’t scrambling to cater to them, they see it as some sort of sleight against The Way Things Are, and/or a personal attack on them that the woman in question isn’t doing things The Way They Want, so they lash out at her for not complying with some sort of standard that they have set upon the world that no one else but them was aware of.
There’s a hell of a lot of privilege involved, is the long and short of it.
You and me both.
Though, I am also fully aware that they’ll still bother me anyway, and then use the tattoos and such as a convenient scapegoat for when I inevitably reject them.
Kind of like how men on OKCupid are like “Lol, no fatties!” and then will go on to attempt to “flirt” with fat women, and then once rejected (no matter how kindly), they’ll go “Well, I didn’t want you anyways, fucking fatty! I just hit on you because I thought you were easy!”
I wonder how much of the “women not conforming to standards I have set for them” is just posturing and covering up for their real preferences, which may or may not include women with tattoos, fat, and/or rainbow dyed hair.
“I’m thinking that Roscoe should not only be kept away from women, but from dogs as well.”
Yep. He should just stay by his “superior” self. Only he is good enough for him, after all.
It must hurt him that so many women are going about their business living happy productive lives notwithstanding sexists like him.
If you guys feel like it go read the comments on police one. It’s amazing how many are defending them while trashing black lives matter protesters.
https://www.facebook.com/policeone/posts/10153874160849740
I thought we’d settled on “Y’all Qaeda.”
Vanilla ISIS, Y’all Qaeda–puns either way so I’m good.
@katz
I’ve also seen “Yeehawdi.” All of them have made me giggle.
Can we call their leader Osama Bing Crosby?
@Policy of Madness
Maybe your well-behaved cats do. But my boy kitty demands food all the time and is getting rotund. Have you ever put a cat on a diet? Ha, ha, ha. They don’t like it. My boyfriend swears that this cat is the biggest (tallest, broadest, most awesomely muscular, and now stout) cat he’s ever seen.
Training cats can be a problem because, while most dogs are food-motivated or play-motivated, my cats seemed to be sleep-motivated.
I didn’t train my cat. He trained me.
Seriously. His cat tower is only about 3′ from the drawer where the cat treats are. The top level of his tower affords him a good view of the drawer when it’s open. At some point, he made the connection between the sound of the drawer opening and something tasty. So when I open the drawer he comes running and vaults up to the top level to wait for his reward.
Sometimes I will say, “Into the tower!” as I open the treat bag, though. To pretend I’m working in the Cat Circus or something.
I think my tortoiseshell cat gave up on training me. She just grabs my clothes with the claws of one front paw and attempts to drag me to what she wants.
Women are like Komodo dragons. Solitary carnivores that hunt by attacking buffalo with venomous bites, then grouping to feast on the fallen carcass. Also powerful swimmers and can lay between 15 to 30 eggs.
Ohlmann: That’s Henry Makow. He’s a real piece of work. As that article shows, he believes in any conspiracy theory that supports his conservative beliefs, and HATES feminism. But did you know that his website also has pages and pages of advice on selecting a foreign bride? Shocking, isn’t it? I never would have guessed.
It also has this page which I found especially entertaining: http://henrymakow.com/my_chinese_wife_set_a_trap.html
Well, I love my dog more than gross dudebros who read and write for Return of Kings but I’m sure they would object to me saying that. Which suits me fine.
I’ve set up an open thread for discussing the Oregon stuff.
And I’m voting for Vanilla ISIS. Y’all Qaeda is pretty good too, but ISIS is all anyone is talking about these days.
(Oh, and I banned Caligula.)
The trick I taught my dog was basically me exploiting a behavior she was already inclined to do – rolling over onto her back, all I needed was to associate the command phrase with the belly rubs I give her when she rolls onto her back. If only I could come up with a way to do something similar with barking or not attempting to run and bite the face off people walking their dogs as they pass us. At least the neighbors have been trained to not try and pet her without following the proper protocol. 🙂
If you say “Are you sleepy?” every time your dog yawns then supposedly you can can condition your dog to yawn on cue if you say it.
Didn’t work on my dog, but did have some affect on a friend I used to give a lift to work.
I think it’s a mix of:
1. Believing only manly men can decide whether a woman gets permanently marked”
2. Women getting tattooed on their own means they can get tattoos Da Man don’t like at ANY time. Like, with NO warning! Total Anarchy!!
3. Probably most of them don’t have any tattoos, and probably most of them because they can’t stand the pain and/or fear of needles.
I think it’s mostly 3 which makes everything else go “nuclear”: tattoos are for Tough Manly Men (TM) like sailors and bikers.
Nice Guys (TM) and especially Internet Misogynists (TM) are cowards who won’t lift a finger for themselves, and brag about stories they make up.
So, the see a Tattooed Lady (TM) and the see living proof that the woman in question can take more pain than they do, and has the autonomy to decide when and why she gets ink and needles.
@Rosa
“I wonder, can you train a cat to do tricks like dogs? I’m convinced it’s a waste of time.”
There was a street performer in Key West in the 90s that had trained a bunch of housecats to do a bunch of tricks (including jumping through burning rings!!!!). He gave them treats sometimes, but it mostly seemed like the cats liked what they were doing. He taught them how to open their carriers and they were forever unhooking the door and jumping up on their stools out of turn and he would jokingly give them hell. He did the same when they would get distracted and start licking their fur because, well… cats. 🙂
I taught my childhood cat a few tricks, primarily how to sit up in her hind legs for dinner or to come when called , but sometimes you could get her to roll over. My dad’s cat has diabetes, and he’s trained her to jump on a stool and lay down facing a certain way so he can come from behind and give her insulin shots. This is the most foul tempered, stubborn, laziest cat ever, so I’m absolutely amazed that he did it without treats (which she can’t have) but with simple love and praise. I think she must realize that the shot is to help her feel better as well for her to be this cool about it.
I used to think cats were stubborn and hard to train, but then I started to get into parrots. Talk about moody brats. ;p The best way to keep them readily trainable is to isolate them from other parrots so that they’re desperate for attention, but I won’t do that to my birds. It actually really reminds me of what abusers do to their victims, which just makes abusers even creepier. :/
@ mrex
Train them to say: “Help, a wizard turned me into a parrot”
@Alan
“If you say “Are you sleepy?” every time your dog yawns then supposedly you can can condition your dog to yawn on cue if you say it.”
Dogs and humans are the two animals proven to have social yawning, something to do with empathy.
And thanks for making me yawn. &%+$@