A new post at Return of Kings, Roosh V’s site for terrible, terrible men, has me wondering: Do Red Pillers all harbor a secret wish to have sex with their dogs?
In the post, regular RoK contributor Max Roscoe reports on “10 Things My Dog Taught Me About Women.” His conclusion? That aside from that whole sex thing, he prefers his dog. Man’s faithful canine companions, he explains
are incredibly loyal, protective, and offer unconditional love, and will in some ways be more consistent, reliable, and rewarding than a woman. It’s often said that sexbots will be the end of the modern feminist. Dogs provide most of the positive benefits of women except sex, and owning one can benefit a man greatly.
Roscoe apparently dreams of a glorious future in which women can be replaced with a more pliable combo of sexbots and dogs.
Until the sexbots arrive, though, heterosexual men — or at least those heterosexual men who are unwilling to have sex with their dogs — are stuck with women.
But all is not lost, as Roscoe offers a number of useful suggestions on how men can make their girlfriends or wives more like dogs.
As Roscoe sees it, proper training is key for both women and dogs.
A well trained dog will know when it misbehaves, and will sense the disappointment or anger of its owner when it breaks the rules. Likewise, a woman should be trained to behave properly. Since Western civilization has abdicated its role in training members of both sexes how to behave politely and what proper roles are, men must take up this duty on our own.
Unfortunately, Roscoe notes, even well-trained dogs and women sometimes misbehave, making “slight corrections” necessary. All men need to do to get their women back in line is to become paranoid, controlling creeps.
Tell her to hit the gym when she’s gotten a bit out of shape, but don’t wait until she’s gained 20 pounds. Give her a limit on how much alcohol she can drink. Tell her she must inform you who she is going out with and where.
Women aren’t just like dogs; they’re also like children.
As we know, women are essentially large children, and like a teen who will gradually test the limits of his boundaries, a woman will push the rules to see how much she can get away with. Treat her like a father would his child, and let her know she is not to behave this way in the future. She will not only stop the harmful actions, but come to respect you even more.
So how can men tell if their wives or girlfriends are good dogs?
By their shiny coats. Dogs should have “well groomed hair” rather than “a matted, dirty, coat full of debris.” Same with women!
A “quality” woman, Roscoe proclaims, should
groom herself well, with long, feminine hair, trimmed and painted nails, and conservative clothing.
And she should have “clear, radiant skin,” rather than a “body mutilated with shrapnel and graffiti.”
She should also, Roscoe argues, know her place. Just as a dog is naturally “subservient to its owner,” so “a woman is naturally and normally the submissive partner to the man.”
This is the case, Roscoe explains, even if she has short hair.
No amount of short haircuts, business suits, you-go-girling or education can reverse the natural role than women play in the world.
But don’t bother to try to explain this to women. Hell, don’t bother to explain anything to them, because women, like dogs, don’t really understand human language. It’s all “blah blah blah Ginger” to them.
You can talk in a kind voice to a dog, and he will understand your loving happiness, and reciprocate, but beyond that, dogs are incapable of understanding you, interpreting your thoughts, empathizing, or using logic.
Likewise, it is a waste of time to get into deep discussions with women, expect them to rationalize or understand things, or even to truly empathize or love a man. … While a dog or woman can respect and honor you, and make you feel good, they cannot truly understand you, or love you the way you love them.
I’m thinking that Roscoe should not only be kept away from women, but from dogs as well.
@policy of madness
Whoa. You might be right.
And thanks for alerting us to this (truly awful) news.
These militia members are in Malheur, Oregon. Translation from the French: malheur = misfortune.
@WWTH
Their thesis, such as it is, is that the federal government shouldn’t exist at all, or, if it has to exist, it should restrict itself to defending the country from external threats and not get involved in any domestic affairs in any fashion.
The “sovereign citizen” groups are not the first to think this! The first incarnation of the United States worked that way! And it was such a resounding success that we decided to fucking scrap the Articles of Confederation and start over with something fundamentally different, because it turns out that it’s impossible for the federal government to defend against external threats when it has no power over domestic affairs.
Yahoo finally put something up, although it’s more about the poor, poor arsonists. Federal law says it’s a five year sentence, and they’re going to have to serve it.
I’m seeing more coverage of it, actually.
Google brought up Raw Story, Oregon Live, and US News and World Report about half an hour ago. Now it also has CBS and New York Daily News.
ETA: the New York Daily News article seems pretty good:
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/militia-takes-ore-fed-building-protest-article-1.2483723
That jumped out at me too. Whether or not he’s a poe, lately every post quoting one of these sillynits features misused words. Aurini had a bunch of them, and today’s featured sooper jeenyus misuses the word “rationalize.” I think I’m going to start keeping a list, just for lulz.
Women are like lions. They hunt zebra and gazelle, and have retractable claws. March goes out like them.
They called them “radical” just wow.
I need brain bleach, may we continue with “women are like..” Game?
Women are like lemurs..we like to move it!
http://youtu.be/1okAt2sOmNg
Women are like elephants..
http://youtu.be/A276_8XeLgE
Nothing else to say
Women are like lionesses..
http://38.media.tumblr.com/ed749a8637eaea0f05cfa38fc60bc0cf/tumblr_inline_mid93zOts71qz4rgp.gif
Again enough said
Tessa,
What I find most interesting is that it took less than 10 minutes for people to start feeling some real resentment. I would actually love to see the experiment you proposed. I wonder how many people would engage in the bad behavior out of sheer contrariness. (I probably would.)
WWTH:
One of the core tenets of right – libertarianism is that individual (white men’s) property rights are divinely gtanted and absolute; no government should be able to make any rules about use of private property. Since the poaching was on private land & the fire was set on private land (before spreading to Federal land), these assholes call doing something about it tyranny
Women are like the female blanket octopus, 40,000 larger than the male, and presented with one of the male’s ripped off tentacles filled with sperm before he swims off to his death.
What I find most interesting about the case is that the two people going to prison are making it very clear this is none of their doing. What exactly is the militia’s position? “We’re gonna defend your non-existent rights whether you want us to or not!!!”
Um well then you learn something new everyday.
Hey, if anyone wants some dog-themed brain bleach:
-The twitter account https://twitter.com/dog_rates is one of the best things I’ve ever found. It’s made my twitter feed so much less depressing to read.
-This twitter account https://twitter.com/DogSolutions is almost as good! The pictures and captions are somewhat sillier… the main thing that gets them docked a few points is the infrequency of posting.
-If you’re a podcast listener, look up Can I Pet Your Dog? because it’s fucking delightful. It makes every tuesday a little brighter for me. http://www.maximumfun.org/shows/can-i-pet-your-dog
Women are like SAR11 alphaproteobacteria because they’re common in the wild but are extremely difficult to grow in a laboratory, possibly due to their dislike of agar or their reluctance to fit inside a petri dish.
Women are also like oak trees, because you can shout at them all day to make you a sandwich but you’re not going to get any results from it. Frankly you’d be better off going into the kitchen and making your own sandwich.
Brian
♥️Awww♥️
Fruitloopsie
Younger females rip off tentacles from portuguese man-o-war jellyfish and use them as weapons against predators. (Males do that, too at all ages… cause they don’t grow to be 6 feet long like the females.)
@Leda
I wish *I* had a flying dog. Hrmph. Guess I’ll have to content myself by carrying her around and occasionally making airplane sounds while holding her ears out like the wings of a plane (don’t worry, I won’t be holding her entire body weight by the ears, I’ll sit down with her on my lap when doing the plane thing.)
And I just realized what my dog will be this next year for Howl-o-ween.
@Dalillama
These folks are “sovereign citizens;” their philosophy, loosely so called, has some overlap with right-libertarianism but goes much further. They believe the government has no authority over them at all, and they have various wacky rationales for their beliefs.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sovereign_citizen_movement
Tessa
Wow. Thank you for all that interesting info.
Some of the sovereign citizens even show up here from time to time: https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/07/06/mra-peter-nolan-killing-women-is-the-only-path-to-justice-for-men-now/
Or just search for “peter nolan”.
Roosh consistently tells his readers how to mess up their relationships. Here he tells them that a woman has nothing to offer a man but sex. The credulous reader then treats his date as though she had nothing to offer him but sex. When he’s rejected, he has to return to Roosh for more (bad) advice.
@ Lady Mondegreen
Yeah, but they’re still basically right-libertarians. It’s kinda like the distinction between the KKK and the American Nazi Party; sure, they have loads of petty doctrinal differences that they argue about, but from an outside perspective the only meaningful difference is how violent they’re likely to be.
Women are like — your mother. Your sisters. Your first-grade teacher. Your school crossing guard. Your Sunday school teacher. Your pediatrician. Remember them, PUAs?
***
I’m haunted by the Dr. Oz interview with Roosh. He asked Roosh if he had a mother or sisters. Roosh said he did. According to Roosh, “They love me for who I am, not for the words that come out of my mouth.” Hey, Roosh, why not try to make them proud?
***
I do believe that some trolls brag to their troll friends, “Ha, ha, I made the feminazis respond to me!” Like they’ve won a big prize. But when you’re excited because you’ve gotten negative attention, it’s time to take a long, hard look at yourself.
Women are like horses. If they feel like it, they will jump the fence.
Women are like phoenixes, rising from the ashes of despair time and time and time again.
Women are like porcupines. Be careful how you treat them.
Women are like the Coelacanth: They were thought to be extinct until a fishing boat caught a live one off the Mascareigne Islands in 1938.
Though, of course, in actual fact women are human. Just like all other members of the species Homo Sapiens Sapiens. *sigh* Sometimes I wish humans were a lot more like bonobos.