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Return of Kings: “Dogs provide most of the positive benefits of women except sex.”

The Red Piller's ideal woman?
The Red Piller’s ideal woman?

A new post at Return of Kings, Roosh V’s site for terrible, terrible men, has me wondering: Do Red Pillers all harbor a secret wish to have sex with their dogs?

In the post, regular RoK contributor Max Roscoe reports on “10 Things My Dog Taught Me About Women.” His conclusion? That aside from that whole sex thing, he prefers his dog. Man’s faithful canine companions, he explains

are incredibly loyal, protective, and offer unconditional love, and will in some ways be more consistent, reliable, and rewarding than a woman. It’s often said that sexbots will be the end of the modern feminist. Dogs provide most of the positive benefits of women except sex, and owning one can benefit a man greatly.

Roscoe apparently dreams of a glorious future in which women can be replaced with a more pliable combo of sexbots and dogs.

Until the sexbots arrive, though, heterosexual men — or at least those heterosexual men who are unwilling to have sex with their dogs — are stuck with women.

But all is not lost, as Roscoe offers a number of useful suggestions on how men can make their girlfriends or wives more like dogs. 

As Roscoe sees it, proper training is key for both women and dogs.

A well trained dog will know when it misbehaves, and will sense the disappointment or anger of its owner when it breaks the rules. Likewise, a woman should be trained to behave properly. Since Western civilization has abdicated its role in training members of both sexes how to behave politely and what proper roles are, men must take up this duty on our own.

Unfortunately, Roscoe notes, even well-trained dogs and women sometimes misbehave, making “slight corrections” necessary. All men need to do to get their women back in line is to become paranoid, controlling creeps.

Tell her to hit the gym when she’s gotten a bit out of shape, but don’t wait until she’s gained 20 pounds. Give her a limit on how much alcohol she can drink. Tell her she must inform you who she is going out with and where.

Women aren’t just like dogs; they’re also like children.

As we know, women are essentially large children, and like a teen who will gradually test the limits of his boundaries, a woman will push the rules to see how much she can get away with. Treat her like a father would his child, and let her know she is not to behave this way in the future. She will not only stop the harmful actions, but come to respect you even more.

So how can men tell if their wives or girlfriends are good dogs?

By their shiny coats. Dogs should have “well groomed hair” rather than “a matted, dirty, coat full of debris.” Same with women!

A “quality” woman, Roscoe proclaims, should

groom herself well, with long, feminine hair, trimmed and painted nails, and conservative clothing.

And she should have “clear, radiant skin,” rather than a “body mutilated with shrapnel and graffiti.”

She should also, Roscoe argues, know her place. Just as a dog is naturally “subservient to its owner,” so “a woman is naturally and normally the submissive partner to the man.”

This is the case, Roscoe explains, even if she has short hair.

No amount of short haircuts, business suits, you-go-girling or education can reverse the natural role than women play in the world.

But don’t bother to try to explain this to women. Hell, don’t bother to explain anything to them, because women, like dogs, don’t really understand human language. It’s all “blah blah blah Ginger” to them.

You can talk in a kind voice to a dog, and he will understand your loving happiness, and reciprocate, but beyond that, dogs are incapable of understanding you, interpreting your thoughts, empathizing, or using logic.

Likewise, it is a waste of time to get into deep discussions with women, expect them to rationalize or understand things, or even to truly empathize or love a man.  … While a dog or woman can respect and honor you, and make you feel good, they cannot truly understand you, or love you the way you love them.

I’m thinking that Roscoe should not only be kept away from women, but from dogs as well.

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Yacob14
Yacob14
8 years ago

I don’t know what it is, but of all of the stuff I’ve seen here, this post is more nauseating to me than all the others. This guy is somewhere between wishing that all women were like dogs and outright believing that they are dogs. Thats some really perverse shit to be broadcasting to everyone….

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

You can talk in a kind voice to a dog, and he will understand your loving happiness, and reciprocate, but beyond that, dogs are incapable of understanding you, interpreting your thoughts, empathizing, or using logic.

But… That’s not true. Just ask anybody who’s ever trained a dog to sit, said “Food” or “Vet” in the vicinity of a dog, or seen a dog immediately perk up when their owner’s in an excitable mood or snuggle up for a good whimper when their owner’s in a depressed mood.

Jesus, this feels like explaining what colour the sky is. They’re social animals, for fuck’s sake.

serrana
serrana
8 years ago

Just the title of this nauseated me. Good job, Roscoe, good job.

Vanir85
Vanir85
8 years ago

But… That’s not true. Just ask anybody who’s ever trained a dog […]

– Scented Fucking Hard Chairs

True. There’s even hard science to support this. Brain scans reveal dogs are quite capable of love, and of “reading” humans.

http://mic.com/articles/104474/brain-scans-reveal-what-dogs-really-think-of-us#.ne5HrFtqi

I am, however, curious what these scans would have revealed about MRA or TRP brains. Just saying.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
8 years ago

tl;dr “I’m too insecure to deal with other persons who have their own thoughts and desires because I’m afraid they might reject me, so I’m only comfortable with objects and commodities, and reducing others to objects and commodities.”
That’s works as a summary for pretty much all redpill bullshit.

As SFHC pointed out, bro doesn’t even understand dogs. My relationship to my dog was characterized by reciprocity, trust, and empathy. We did stuff together. The dog was my friend, not my slave. He behaved really well because he liked me and knew that I had his best interests at heart, not because he was afraid of me. He knew something like 50+ words. I had an associate who just yelled at his dog and kept talking about how he had to “establish dominance.” The dog seemed miserable, and wasn’t much fun to be around.

bekabot
8 years ago

“Likewise, it is a waste of time to get into deep discussions with women, expect them to rationalize or understand things, or even to truly empathize or love a man. … While a dog or woman can respect and honor you, and make you feel good, they cannot truly understand you, or love you the way you love them.”

He’s right about one thing…a woman isn’t going to love a man who prefers his dog to her and says so, and she’s not going to care a lot about his feelings. His lectures about all the deep reasons dogs are preferable to women are going to fall on deaf ears. The woman’s going to think that if he believes his dog is his ideal companion, then he’d better stick to his dog. This is a reliable reaction on the woman’s part, and the woman can be counted upon to experience it more or less without fail. The woman who, after listening to about half-an-hour’s worth of reasons the dog ought to outrank her, responds with: “Of course, dear!! I know I’m not a patch on Lassie and I’ll try to do better” pretty much doesn’t exist. She’s never going to exist. The reasons the dude comes up with might all be valid and they still wouldn’t matter; the woman would continue to be bored, pained, and obstinate. Want a reliable rule? This is one.

Guy, you don’t train a dog by repeatedly insulting it and kicking it: all you get with that behavior is a mean dog. And you know it. Why are you guys so much less intelligent about women? What the heck is wrong with you?

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
8 years ago

I’m amazed with the severe lack of self awarness.
“Women lack loyalty, compassion and honor now let me tell you how men can and should control and beat down womens’ self esteem and abandon them when they don’t fit the requirements of beauty and/or don’t reward you for being such a nice guy.”

You can talk in a kind voice to a dog, and he will understand your loving happiness, and reciprocate, but beyond that, dogs are incapable of understanding you, interpreting your thoughts, empathizing, or using logic.

What? So not only is this a-hole a misognist but bad at facts too. Dogs are known to understand and empathize with people like the leonberger. They’re breed to be social animals with people who have anxiety, etc they’ll cuddle up next to you when you are upset. And dogs are smart infinity times smarter and better in general than you and other a-holes like you.

zoon echon logon
Whenever I’m or my family is upset my dogs would get upset too and they would cuddle with us and kiss our faces. So dogs do understand and empathize.
Too bad manospherians don’t.

KafkaNoMore
KafkaNoMore
8 years ago

I honestly believe that men like this Roscoe have deep internalized issues of rejection and inferiority, that the only way for them to feel superior is to rant about women. It is a reflection of their own misery. As this is being said, many equally insecure and rejected young men (many are teenagers) are reading this bullcrap and forming their opinions based on it. It is no wonder to me how a potential Marc Lepine could emerge after internalizing such writing. The authors of many “red pill” articles are using the same process of dehumanization towards women, like the Nazis used towards Jews, which also isn’t a surprise as many of them are anti-semites anyway. I believe that the authorities should keep a good eye on the red pill/pua/mra movement, as nothing good will come out of it.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
8 years ago

Zoon echon logon
I also want to say poor dog that associate is a a-hole.

Kereea
Kereea
8 years ago

This also ignores that dogs have personalities like people (not as strong as people’s of course but still, it’s a factor). Growing up my family had two purebred Cocker Spaniels, K and A. K was older, they had him before me, and he was the chillest, sweetest dog ever. Neighbors used him to get their kids over fear of dogs. He could put his head in a baby carriage and the baby could punch him, yank his ears, poke his eyes and he’s just be like “you are cute I shall keep staring”. He could be a bit standoffish though.
A is an absolute boss lady, even as an older dog. She barked down German Shepherds and Dobermans even when she was little. If she doesn’t feel like cuddling, you aren’t getting to cuddle her. She’s also learned how to con people and is very devious and smart while K was always a bit dim. We would never let her near small children unsupervised.
K and A were raised the exact same way and are the exact same breed. A’s mother was also exactly like K.
Then there’s my dog T, a nearly 40 pound labradoodle who lets you do whatever you want to him. I can pick him up, use him as a pillow, cuddle him whenever I want and so on. Why? I snuggled him a lot as a puppy so he likes it.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
8 years ago

What a scumbag. I hope women and dogs will be forever absent in his life.

My current dog has offered to go pee in his shoes.

ms_xeno
ms_xeno
8 years ago

Gone-but-not-forgotten Blues band Saffire sang “Don’t Treat Your Man Like A Dog” 15-20 years ago.

You can find it on YouTube. Well worth clicking through the dumb horror film ad.

If these guys hear it, though, their tiny heads will probably explode. I mean, they think they have these brilliant, unique insights about human nature. But some women already delivered the better version before many of them could even understand how keyboards worked! Tsk tsk!

Yacob14
Yacob14
8 years ago

Whenever I visit my mother, her little rat terrier decides he has to be right next to me at all times. When I’m in my room with door shut, he starts scratching on it until I let him in. He’s very needy, I guess. On a dog, that’s adorable. If I had a girlfriend who was doing that, however, would be a very disturbed, because healthy human beings tend to, you know, have better things to be doing than lying at my feet all day.

This guy’s obviously going to need those sexbots. Or find a way to live in a porno. How do they get by in real life?

Snow Leopard
Snow Leopard
8 years ago

Comparing women to dogs? Really? What do you want women to do? Fetch your newspaper? Lick your feet? Look up to you like a god? Oh, yeah, that’s exactly what these assholes want.

Red pillers are amongst some of the most insecure people out there. I would feel sorry for them if they weren’t such shitty people.

Hey red pill assholes, some advice. Stay far away from women. Stay far away from dogs and all animals. Stay far away from children. Just fuck off. I would recommend becoming men who go their own way, but we all know they never fuck off their own way anyways, so moot point. Just piss off already.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

I’m mortally afraid of dogs, and they all know this. I’ve never met a dog which didn’t want to devour my flesh.* Something about me makes dogs revert back into wolves.

Nonethess, if Roscoe finds pleasure in the companionship of his dog, I’m very happy to support him in it. Congratulations, Roscoe. If loyalty and submission are important to you, stick with dogs and away from humans. Our species isn’t quite as fond of the idea of obeying those who self-congratulate on being natural masters; we tend to laugh at such people rather than being obedient to them.

—–

* This isn’t quite true. I once went on a date with a woman who had what I can only describe as a toy dog, which was happy around me as long as I gave it head scritches. I’m not even sure it would recognise wolves if it saw them.

newbie
newbie
8 years ago

I’m struck by ‘painted nails’ in Roscoe’s disturbed, egocentric fantasies. Why that?

These guys always reveal their peculiar fetishes when waxing nostalgic about their ideal woman. Their arrested development that manifests in those fetishes, among so many other things, makes it impossible for them to form successful relationships with real women. So sexbots are the way. Or dogs.

btmom
btmom
8 years ago

Strip his disgusting analysis away, and I’m willing to say that I’d absolutely prefer the companionship of my sweet, intelligent, empathetic and loving dogs to any red-pill man (sex is out of the question, of course).

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

These guys just have such a knack for turning every topic into a repulsive rant don’t they? Normally “dogs are good” is a non-controversial and benign topic. Not when a manurespherian gets a hold of it!

groom herself well, with long, feminine hair, trimmed and painted nails, and conservative clothing.

I’m growing increasingly unable to detect any sort of line between the new misogyny and the old. This sounds like something one would read on a quiverfull blog.

“Likewise, it is a waste of time to get into deep discussions with women, expect them to rationalize or understand things, or even to truly empathize or love a man. … While a dog or woman can respect and honor you, and make you feel good, they cannot truly understand you, or love you the way you love them.”

Isn’t it funny how that works? These guys refuse to listen to women or speak to us respectfully and then claim it’s impossible it’s have a deep discussion with us. Of course it’s impossible to get into a deep conversation with someone you’re being a toxic asshole to.

Although given his comment about he wants women to make him a feel good, I expect his definition of a “deep discussion” is him lecturing his partner while she nods in agreement and tells him how right he is about everything. I don’t think he realizes that a great conversation involves both talking and listening.

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
8 years ago

I looked at my un-painted nails and cackled like the misandrist I am.

It still never ceases to amaze me how manospherians speak as if (cis)men and (cis)women weren’t even part of the same species. Like, you don’t see these guys saying something like “dogs are like women, but male dogs are obviously sooooooo much better than female dogs”, but they still use terms that were coined to describe wolf behavior even when those were dispproved (“alpha” and “beta”) as if it applied to humans. And they say that women can’t “logic”, but then describe them as being capable of it and I’m just too baffled to be even angry.

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
8 years ago

Well, double post happened… Sorry about it. David, can you delete this post?

Professor Snugglesworth
Professor Snugglesworth
8 years ago

Likewise, it is a waste of time to get into deep discussions with women, expect them to rationalize or understand things,

True enough. Women don’t spend nearly as much time rationalizing as you do.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

Dogs actually are capable of logic. I can’t find the study now, but I read about or heard somewhere about this. One group of dogs was trained to push a button with their heads to get a food reward. Then they brought in a second group of dogs to observe the first group. The second group of dogs were able to learn by watching to push the button for a treat. But some of the dogs used their heads and some used their paws. That’s a subtle but crucial difference. They weren’t just mindlessly mimicking the dogs who had already been trained. They worked out that getting a treat was the end result of pushing the button.

KathleenB
KathleenB
8 years ago

Ew

Yeah, that’s pretty much all I’ve got

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
8 years ago

@EJ(TOO)
It’s because dogs can smell fear… just like women xD

Cerulean (Miss A)
Cerulean (Miss A)
8 years ago

Tell her to hit the gym when she’s gotten a bit out of shape, but don’t wait until she’s gained 20 pounds. Give her a limit on how much alcohol she can drink. Tell her she must inform you who she is going out with and where.

Oh, gag me. What is this creepy, controlling bullshit?

I mean, yes, when I’m dating someone I let my partner know when I’m out and about. You know why? It’s because *le gasp* I respect my partner enough to let him know what I’m up to. And when I space out and don’t tell him early in the day? I shoo him a note later saying ‘Sorry I forgot to tell you, I needed a break so I’m out with friends to clear my head’ or some variant thereof.

It’s funny how a little respect works in relating to others. Not that these MRAholes would know.

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