If you’re wondering what the racist cowboy cosplayer who’s also possibly the world’s worst filmmaker thinks of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, wait no longer!
Davis Aurini has given the film two burning crosses down — way down!
Aurini, the fake-skull-loving former Anton LaVey impersonator who now favors a sort of effete cowboy look, argues in an interminable “review” that J.J. Abrams’ contribution to the Star Wars franchise is essentially a hate letter to white men.
“Listen up, White Man,” Aurini proclaims.
J.J. Abrams hates you. He relishes the thought of your extinction as he looks forward to a multi-culti matriarchy where instead of studying math and sciences, everyone sits around discussing their feelings.
Aurini, a self-declared “huge white nationalist on paper,” also claims that the film is an insult to black men as well.
As for you, Black Man, he doesn’t want your extinction – you get to prance about doing monkey shine, so long as you obey your white, feminist overlords.
For anyone sporting testicles, Aurini suggests. “[p]aying money to see [Abrams’] film is the equivalent of auto-castration.”
Aurini makes a brief attempt at an actual movie review, declaring the film “derivative and copacetic.” (Apparently he’s unaware that “copacetic” means “excellent.”) But he quickly returns to his main theme:
The underlying message of the movie is that men – and White men in particular – are useless, destructive, failures, who need to get out of the way so that society can finally progress.
Aurini is angry that Daisy Ridley’s Rey — whom he refers to dismissively as “Feminist Skywalker” — has the talents and skills one might expect from a main character in an action flick, even though she’s “an orphan with no finances or support structure.”
Making things worse, Aurini argues, the white guys left over from the first Star Wars trilogy have become a couple of creepy degenerates. Former interstellar wunderkind Luke Skywalker has become a “fat, burn-out, pervert,” while Han Solo is “a burned-up divorcee” who “dresses like a teenager” and probably has a thing for high school girls.
Perhaps confusing Solo with the skeezy ephebophile pickup artists who surround him in the manosphere today, Aurini perplexingly declares that
you can easily imagine him and Chewie making sexually-suggestive remarks to the sixteen year old girl working at the McDonalds drive through
Apparently there are McDonalds franchises in galaxys long-ago and far, far away.
But the true source of Aurini’s ire is, you guessed it, John Boyega’s Finn.
Indeed, Aurini is evidently so worked up at the very thought of a black male lead in a Star Wars film that he is unable to even say Finn’s name, referring to him instead as “Mace Dindu,” the racist nickname he’s been given by the white supremacists of the internet. (Mace Windu, you may recall, was the name of Samuel L. Jackson’s character in the Star Wars prequels. “Dindu” is a recently invented racial slur.)
Aurini not only doesn’t use Finn’s name; he claims, bizarrely, that he doesn’t even know what it is.
I tried to google the character name, but even the websites decrying all of the rassism still referred to him as the “Black Stormtrooper.”
Either this is a weird, failed joke on Aurini’s part, or he genuinely can’t figure out how to look up character names on IMDb.
Aurini, like so many of his white supremacist pals, is convinced that The Force Awakens is really all about — you guessed it — the symbolic cuckolding of white men. The “Black Stormtrooper” is, as Aurini sees it, also a “Black Bull” playing out his role in a racist, sexual psychodrama engineered by “Feminist Skywalker.”
In Aurini’s eyes, Finn is a “coward” who only
nuts up and fights Not Darth Vader is because he got the scent [of] Feminist Skywalker’s White Pussy into his nose-
-and the first rule for being a Black Bull is that she makes the rules. Grunt for her, monkey boy: the Cuck’s all Ego, and you’re nothing but Id. The female Superego is your true master.
Yeah, it’s pretty ugly inside Aurini’s brain.
Aurini ends his review with a long, muddled, and more or less completely gratuitous attack on feminism and affirmative action and what he sees as “the sickness infesting our civilization.”
After declaring The Force Awakens to be “metaphorical for affirmative action, both the direct and indirect forms,” Aurini manages to accidentally reveal that it’s he, not Han Solo, who’s still got a bit of a thing for 16-year-old McDonald’s cashiers. Like countless “nice guy” Redditors before him, Aurini wants to let every mean girl who’s ever rejected him that she’s not all that anyway so there.
Women in today’s society graduate High School endowed with physical beauty, they enter a work environment with pro-female hiring quotas, they enjoy financial subsidies for schooling, are less likely to be harassed by the legal system, and the culture at large believes them to be naturally virtuous, hard working, and intelligent … .
But, really, it’s men who deserve all the credit for hunting the mammoth, literally and figuratively.
The reality is that civilization is a result of men’s labour – technological progress has come from men’s inventions – even social advancement has come from men of great wisdom. The occasional female inventor or philosopher is thrown up to deny the truth of this, but even then you find that they are always – without exception – submissive towards masculinity. …
Feminists have never – and will never – accomplish anything of worth, because they reject the masculine principle; the women of the greatest accomplishments are those who’ve submitted to it.
All this from a cowboy-hat-wearing pretend alpha male who’s apparently so inept at life that he can’t figure out the name of one of the main characters in the movie he’s ostensibly reviewing.
Growing more pretentious by the sentence, Aurini declares that
J.J. Abrams preternatural fantasies about female superiors are nothing more than the symptoms of a boy whose development was arrested at an early stage. He longs for the safety of mommy’s apron strings, the pre-sexual intimacy of suckling at a milky teat …
His world of gender-fluidity sells itself as freedom, but it is anything but; what he sells you is slavery, to your lusts, to your hungers, to your weaknesses, to the governments and to the corporations. …
It’s time for all of us to find something worth living for, and to cast down the broken people who are held forth as idols.
So I guess there won’t be any Force Awakens figurines nestling on Aurini’s bookshelves alongside his toy skull McCarther.
“Monkey shine”? Wow, subtle.
Also, I’m going to watch the movie tomorrow. My in-laws already bought tickets, at a place that looks like it probably isn’t safe for me to eat at (it’s a restaurant/bar theater). I have coeliac and the place has the typical “gluten free bun available” wording with no call out on which toppings are safe or even whether the burgers themselves are safe. I have a strong feeling I’ll get sick if I eat there and I also feel like I’m already annoying my sister-in-law with my dietary needs (and I feel like she’s tired of people invading her home), so I’m feeling a lot of anxiety about tomorrow. Plus my brother-in-law has made a couple of dismissive comments about my coeliac along the lines of it just giving me an upset stomach as opposed to anaphylaxis, and my husband has been kind of dismissive about my concerns that the in-laws making gluten free food is really a bad idea because it took me months to learn how to avoid all of the hidden gluten and finally feel better, and he hasn’t spoken up for me and has just been letting them cook all this stuff. I get zero traction with them when trying to speak up for myself, so I really need his help on this. I love cooking and am really good at it, so I don’t understand why they don’t just let me handle the stuff that needs to be made gluten free. He’s being dismissive about the restaurant, and I feel like I’m playing Russian roulette with my small intestine every time I eat.
Sorry for the tangent. I just needed to get it off my chest.
If you ever struggle with what is right, ask yourself, “What would Aurini do?”, and do the opposite.
If Aurini doesn’t know Finn’s name it’s because he didn’t watch the movie. (Warning— spoilers follow!)
Finn gets his name in a scene where he rescues Poe Dameron, who’s been captured by Sith Lord in training Kylo Ren. Aurini seems to think Finn’s done this because of Rey, but Finn hasn’t even *met* Rey yet (and won’t for several more scenes.)
When Poe asks Finn why he’s defying the First Order to rescue him, Finn responds “because it’s the right thing to do.” It’s got nothing to do with women, except in Aurini’s one-track mind.
Finn gets his name from Poe Dameron in the next scene, when both escape the First Order by stealing a fighter ship. Poe asks Finn what his name is, and when Finn responds that he hasn’t got a name, only has a serial number – FN-2817. At that point Poe says “I’m going to call you Finn.”
Which again, hasn’t got anything to do with Rey because neither Finn nor Poe are aware of her existence at that point.
If Aurini doesn’t remember that (it happens pretty early in the movie) he either slept through it or he didn’t see it at all.
@WWTH:
This is one of the most puzzling things about manospherians that I’ve come across. I know they’re willing to declare that night is day and black is white if it makes ideological sense, but do they not believe in something as basic as the profit motive? Do they not understand capitalism?
Under the friendly green skies of the alternate universe Aurini and company inhabit, Mad Max Fury Road was a failure, this will be a flop, and niche FPS video games outsell Candy Crush.
And yet they accuse others of thinking with their feelings. How very rational of them.
@IdleDilletante
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
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It’s actually FN-2187 and it’s a nod to A New Hope, where it’s Leia’s cell number. Also, Finn doesn’t rescue Poe because THAT’S the right thing to do. He wants to leave the First Order because he believes what they are doing is wrong, but to leave he needs a pilot to help him get away and, oh, lookee here! A Resistance pilot! Convenient ?
Otherwise correct ?
There are still people who will refuse to see a film simply because it has a black character or nontraditional female character. Those attitudes just haven’t been acceptable in mainstream politics and culture since the late 1980’s, but the people haven’t changed.
I’m suspecting that the calls for boycott are not an “ironically racist” troll joke. The film actually offends racists and misogynists.
I’m coming to the conclusion that 90% of all “ironically racist” troll jokes aren’t ironic at all. The people who make them really are racist, and really do get offended. Calling it ironic is just their way of refusing to have to admit it to themselves.
*SPOILERS*
So…why is Luke a “fat burn out pervert” Aurini? I mean, setting aside the fact that Mark Hamill lost a bunch of weight for the movie (and seriously, how good does *Aurini* think he’s going to look at that age,) wwwwhhhhyyyy is Luke a pervert?? He doesn’t say anything to Rey when she arrives on the planet and presents him with the old family lightsaber. Burn out, sure in a certain sense; Luke Skywalker clearly feels like a disgraced failure, and probably understands much better why Obi-Wan was so negative about the idea of redeeming Vader back in the day because he now knows how it feels to be responsible for someone else falling to the dark side of the Force, but…pervert???
Luke looks at Rey with a mixture of shock and disbelief that subtly morphs into a determined expression of acknowledgement that he can’t wash his hands of the war and the role that he and the Jedi must play in it; he knows he has to train Rey, and not give into fear that she will be tempted as well. (At least that’s what *I* read from the scene).
And all that’s…pervert?????
It’s pervert to Aurini because its a young white woman and an old white man, and so clearly, CLEARLY its all about sex.
I swear to god these goddamn people.
And don’t *even* get me started on the Han Solo thing.
I’ve spotted yet another misused word! (This is fun.)
“Superego“?
I wonder what he imagines he’s saying. Surely the terrifying Feminist Overlord wants a “Black Bull” to grunt for her to satisfy her id? Or does he think the Oppressed White Brotherhood (Creators of All the Things!) is being cucked by a (collective) female sense of propriety?
Protip, Aurini: don’t use words unless you know what they mean. It just makes you even more of a laughingstock.
This manchild’s fragile sense of masculinity will never rest assured. I wonder what else causes Aurini to quake in fear for his precious peanuts? Lady drivers with right-of-way? Store clerks who fail to treat him with deference? Laughing children? A stiff breeze?
@AsAbove: maybe he saw this?
http://earthlymission.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/star_wars_set_in_80s_high_school_151014_2.jpg
There’s a whole gallery of “Star Wars as ’80s high school flick” illustrations by Denis Medri and they’re just terrific.
(Note: Later drawings give Han and Chewie a conversion van instead, which makes more sense if they’re… dealing stuff out of it. Better carrying capacity!)
@Nequam: Ha! Those are cool.
So, this is basically the MRAsterpiece Theatre review of Mad Max, but in complete seriousness and without the jokes? Beyond parody indeed.
I just call Kylo Ren “Baby Vader” or “Vader Jr.” these days, because that’s basically his character.
Han Solo does take a liking to Rey and offer her a job, but I’m pretty sure that’s just because she’s awesome.
Correction: the Internet is primarily credited to Tim Beners-Lee. Women do get partial credit for… roughly all software… because Admiral Grace Hopper invented the compiler.
@AsAbove: if you nose around Denis Medri’s other galleries, you’ll see some great AU depictions, such as The Punisher by way of ’70s Italian cop films, and a whole gallery of ’50s Rockabilly Batman.
Aurooni dooty is a pimple on the ass cheek of humanity. I couldn’t give any fucks about his opinion.
Maybe someone should make a movie called The Aurini Effect. It’ll have a budget of $5 and still be a trillion times better than his own shit “movie.”
@jimmy james –
Truer words are seldom spoken.
@Lkeke, et al, re: “the only thing these guys have”:
done
I have a question for you all:
I was reading a comments section – The Mary Sue, I think – about TFA and it came up that Captain Phasma was originally going to be male but JJA changed the character to female.
A commenter said something like, “They should have kept the gender ambiguous” – not as in “ambiguously gendered” but “gendered, but it shouldn’t matter for the character and so the audience doesn’t have to know”.
There was a bit of a back and forth afterwards with the counter-argument being (shortened), “No, representation matters.”
My intial reaction to the first assertion was a kind of squinty-eyed head nod in vague agreement – a blank slate is kind of cool – but then I thought, “Except that Phasma would be assumed to be CIS-male, in popular culture if not cannonically. Diversity in representation does matter* – not only for the those who might identify with the characters in question, but also for what it does to inform the subconscious impulses and biases of all viewers.”
[Note: I didn’t write this as a response as it percolated while I was cutting onions or taking out the trash or something.]
What are your thoughts?
* I’d given lip service to the impact of representation in the past, but it was really driven home for me by a statement from my then-4-year-old middle daughter.
We don’t have cable but watch a lot of PBS, PBS Kids, and documentaries or programs on topics that my kiddos show interest in from select other sources. I tend to favor sources that, like PBS, make concious efforts to be inclusive in their choices for those that they put in positions of authority, academic or otherwise.
Annnnnyway, one day she – several shades lighter than me and an almost pearlescent white in the winter – said, “I wish I had brown skin so I could be a scientist.”
Now, I could just be spitballin’ here, but let’s look at some numbers, yeah?
The Force Awakens has currently made 890 Million USD in total (as of 12/26/2015). And it’s only been out for 8 days.
Wowie, that’s a lot of money for just being out for eight days!
And considering it’ll continue making more money as the month goes on (and will possibly continue making money for a good long while as it makes its way around theaters), it’s very likely it’ll break the billion dollar mark any day now. It’s the sixth largest grossing movie out of all the Star Wars movies.
Hell, it’s already made more money than:
– Star Wars [Special Edition]
– Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the Clones
– Return of the Jedi [Special Edition]
– The Empire Strikes Back [Special Edition]
– Attack of the Clones [IMAX]
– Star Wars: The Clone Wars
So, the idea that it’s going to make a fuckton more money than all those movies, and possibly contend for one of the top five earner spots in the Star Wars set might have to do with the fact that the main characters are a black man and a woman, and thus more people went to watch it because it did something that no other Star Wars movie did.
Sure, there’s some brand recognition there, as well as the fact that it was directed by well-known director J.J. Abrams, but it’s gotten a LOT of publicity, more so than it would have if it didn’t, because of the main characters.
Just sayin’, numbers don’t lie.
@Mockingbird
Captain Phasma has voiced lines and would be highly likely to sound masculine or feminine. Sufficient application of electronic distortion could remove that, but in general if a character has their gender noticably obscured and that’s not standard for their profession I assume they’re whichever gender wouldn’t be expected. Both in-setting and on a meta level, there’s not much point to hiding it unless it’s not what people would expect. And the rank-and-file stormtroopers don’t have sufficiently heavy distortion applied.
Incidentally, at least one of the nameless stormtroopers is female. You can hear her reporting to Kylo Ren late in the movie.
The next main star wars characters should be Native Americans/Canadians. That would be way past awesome!