Aurini: Seeing Star Wars: The Force Awakens “is the equivalent of auto-castration”

If you’re wondering what the racist cowboy cosplayer who’s also possibly the world’s worst filmmaker thinks of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, wait no longer!

Davis Aurini has given the film two burning crosses down — way down!

Aurini, the fake-skull-loving former Anton LaVey impersonator who now favors a sort of effete cowboy look, argues in an interminable “review” that J.J. Abrams’ contribution to the Star Wars franchise is essentially a hate letter to white men.

“Listen up, White Man,” Aurini proclaims.

J.J. Abrams hates you.  He relishes the thought of your extinction as he looks forward to a multi-culti matriarchy where instead of studying math and sciences, everyone sits around discussing their feelings. 

Aurini, a self-declared “huge white nationalist on paper,” also claims that the film is an insult to black men as well.

As for you, Black Man, he doesn’t want your extinction – you get to prance about doing monkey shine, so long as you obey your white, feminist overlords.

For anyone sporting testicles, Aurini suggests. “[p]aying money to see [Abrams’] film is the equivalent of auto-castration.”

Aurini makes a brief attempt at an actual movie review, declaring the film “derivative and copacetic.” (Apparently he’s unaware that “copacetic” means “excellent.”)  But he quickly returns to his main theme:

The underlying message of the movie is that men – and White men in particular – are useless, destructive, failures, who need to get out of the way so that society can finally progress.

Aurini is angry that Daisy Ridley’s Rey — whom he refers to dismissively as “Feminist Skywalker” — has the talents and skills one might expect from a main character in an action flick, even though she’s “an orphan with no finances or support structure.”

Making things worse, Aurini argues, the white guys left over from the first Star Wars trilogy have become a couple of creepy degenerates. Former interstellar wunderkind Luke Skywalker has become a “fat, burn-out, pervert,” while Han Solo is “a burned-up divorcee” who “dresses like a teenager” and probably has a thing for high school girls.

Perhaps confusing Solo with the skeezy ephebophile pickup artists who surround him in the manosphere today, Aurini perplexingly declares that

you can easily imagine him and Chewie making sexually-suggestive remarks to the sixteen year old girl working at the McDonalds drive through

Apparently there are McDonalds franchises in galaxys long-ago and far, far away.

But the true source of Aurini’s ire is, you guessed it, John Boyega’s Finn.

Indeed, Aurini is evidently so worked up at the very thought of a black male lead in a Star Wars film that he is unable to even say Finn’s name, referring to him instead as “Mace Dindu,” the racist nickname he’s been given by the white supremacists of the internet. (Mace Windu, you may recall, was the name of Samuel L. Jackson’s character in the Star Wars prequels. “Dindu” is a recently invented racial slur.)

Aurini not only doesn’t use Finn’s name; he claims, bizarrely, that he doesn’t even know what it is.

I tried to google the character name, but even the websites decrying all of the rassism still referred to him as the “Black Stormtrooper.”

Either this is a weird, failed joke on Aurini’s part, or he genuinely can’t figure out how to look up character names on IMDb.

Aurini, like so many of his white supremacist pals, is convinced that The Force Awakens is really all about — you guessed it — the symbolic cuckolding of white men. The “Black Stormtrooper” is, as Aurini sees it, also a “Black Bull” playing out his role in a racist, sexual psychodrama engineered by “Feminist Skywalker.”

In Aurini’s eyes, Finn is a “coward” who only

nuts up and fights Not Darth Vader is because he got the scent [of] Feminist Skywalker’s White Pussy into his nose-

-and the first rule for being a Black Bull is that she makes the rules.  Grunt for her, monkey boy: the Cuck’s all Ego, and you’re nothing but Id.  The female Superego is your true master.

Yeah, it’s pretty ugly inside Aurini’s brain.

Aurini ends his review with a long, muddled, and more or less completely gratuitous attack on feminism and affirmative action and what he sees as “the sickness infesting our civilization.”

After declaring The Force Awakens to be “metaphorical for affirmative action, both the direct and indirect forms,” Aurini manages to accidentally reveal that it’s he, not Han Solo, who’s still got a bit of a thing for 16-year-old McDonald’s cashiers. Like countless “nice guy” Redditors before him, Aurini wants to let every mean girl who’s ever rejected him that she’s not all that anyway so there.

Women in today’s society graduate High School endowed with physical beauty, they enter a work environment with pro-female hiring quotas, they enjoy financial subsidies for schooling, are less likely to be harassed by the legal system, and the culture at large believes them to be naturally virtuous, hard working, and intelligent … .

But, really, it’s men who deserve all the credit for hunting the mammoth, literally and figuratively. 

The reality is that civilization is a result of men’s labour – technological progress has come from men’s inventions – even social advancement has come from men of great wisdom. The occasional female inventor or philosopher is thrown up to deny the truth of this, but even then you find that they are always – without exception – submissive towards masculinity. … 

Feminists have never – and will never – accomplish anything of worth, because they reject the masculine principle; the women of the greatest accomplishments are those who’ve submitted to it.

All this from a cowboy-hat-wearing pretend alpha male who’s apparently so inept at life that he can’t figure out the name of one of the main characters in the movie he’s ostensibly reviewing.

Growing more pretentious by the sentence, Aurini declares that

J.J. Abrams preternatural fantasies about female superiors are nothing more than the symptoms of a boy whose development was arrested at an early stage.  He longs for the safety of mommy’s apron strings, the pre-sexual intimacy of suckling at a milky teat …

His world of gender-fluidity sells itself as freedom, but it is anything but; what he sells you is slavery, to your lusts, to your hungers, to your weaknesses, to the governments and to the corporations. …

It’s time for all of us to find something worth living for, and to cast down the broken people who are held forth as idols.

So I guess there won’t be any Force Awakens figurines nestling on Aurini’s bookshelves alongside his toy skull McCarther.