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Will Star Wars: The Force Awakens Destroy the White Race With Its Mighty Cuck Staff?

White supremacists have cuck on the brain
White supremacists have cuck on the brain

Is Star Wars: The Force Awakens a fun space opera that’s made a crapload of money and revitalized a beloved franchise after three cringeworthy prequels?

Or is it insidious propaganda for racially mixed sexy times that may ultimately wipe out millions of hypothetical future white babies and, oh yeah, perhaps the entire white race?

Yep, even after the utter failure of their (admittedly half-assed) “boycott” of Star Wars: The Force Awakens, the cuck-obsessed white supremacists are still at it, trying to convince the world that the film is all about cuckolding the once-proud white man.

And, naturally, they’re making their case, such as it is, by passing around massively confusing and often barely readable “infographics.”

Take, for example, the one below, which may well be the greatest (by which I mean the terriblist) racist infographic I’ve seen all year. Consider it an early Christmas present from me to you, if you’re into that sort of thing. (Don’t worry if you can’t read it; we’ll get into the specific, er, arguments in a second.)

The SFW version
The SFW version

If you’re wondering about the white blocks, well, I censored several porn images from the original graphic, all involving white women and, well, a certain portion of the anatomy of their black male costars.

You’re welcome!

There’s a lot to take in here, from the censored porn to the kids’ toys to the Bella and the Bulldogs reference in the portion of the “infographic” I put at the start of this post. (If you don’t already know about the Bella and the Bulldogs nonsense, click here because it is amaze (cuck) balls.)

So let’s break down the basic, er, argument here.

The Cuck Ball: Because the leading man in the film is, gasp, black, the only character that white dudes can identify with in the film is the ball-shaped robot BB-8 — because he’s painted white!

Oh, and because the white heroine, Rey, seems to like Finn, the (shudder) black stormtrooper with the heart of gold, the two are basically cuckolding all the white men of this world — not to mention all those living a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.

sstarwarscuckballenhanced
Note: I fiddled with the contrast to make this more readable.

Never mind that the film is full of other white characters, and that moviegoers are more than capable of identifying with characters who don’t share their skin color, or their gender, or even their species. Hell, the infographic maker admits they can identify with robots.

Not only that, but moviegoers who aren’t straight cis white men do this all the time when they watch films where the main characters (and often most of the rest of the cast) are straight cis white men. But when one film in a movie franchise that’s featured white dudes as the main characters in THE PREVIOUS SIX FILMS puts a black man in one of the leading roles, evidently it’s the end of the world or at least the white race.

And even the barest hint that this black character might at some point in the future lay a completely consensual kiss on the white female lead has the white supremacists shouting “cuck” from the rooftops. In this film, the “romance” (if it can even be called that) that the poor little cuck ball is forced to witness is entirely hypothetical; it never goes beyond flirting and a bit of handholding. (Who knew robots were so damn jealous?)

Don’t tell these guys about Netflix’s Jessica Jones and her sexy times with Luke Cage; their heads would explode.

And then there’s …

Rey’s mighty Cuck Staff. As the infographic-maker sees it, the phallic staff is basically a huge black dildo, which Disney has put into the film in order to program white girls to, well, want to have sex and babies with black men.(Why would Disney want to do this? I’m guessing these guys think it all has something to do with the Jews.)

Anyway, it’s all very … subliminal.

starwarssubliminal

Woah. I mean, it’s not like any of the white men in the Star Wars franchise ever carried around any large phallic objects of their own that have been made into toys that have been played with by probably half the people on planet earth.

Oh wait.

But apparently Rey’s Cuck Staff is more powerful than any mere light saber, and will insidiously work its way into the minds of impressionable girls the world around.

starwarsCuckstaffenhanced

Naturally, all this staff-grasping can only result in one thing:

THE TOTAL ANNIHILATION OF THE WHITE RACE! Literally MILLIONS of (hypothetical) WHITE BABIES WILL BE DESTROYED (by not existing in the first place)!

starwarswhitebabies

So, yeah, here we have white supremacists essentially arguing that their mythical all-powerful, civilization-building, world-dominating, Donald-Trump-loving white race is secretly so fragile it can be brought down by some white chick holding a stick in a movie.

Enjoy the rest of your night-before-Christmas (or, depending on your time zone, Christmas yourself), if you’re into that sort of thing.

H/T — @videodante, who pointed me to the, er, “infographic” on Reddit; it seems to have originated on 4chan shortly after the film’s premiere.

EDIT: A few minor fiddles with wording.

EDIT 2: Somehow one of the screenshots I meant to put in didn’t get put in (I blame my interns, who are also my cats). I put it in. It’s the last one, about the babies.

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Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Rey’s mighty Cuck Staff. As the infographic-maker sees it, the phallic staff is basically a huge black dildo, which Disney has put into the film in order to program white girls to, well, want to have sex and babies with black men.

http://i.imgur.com/uuEukpJ.jpg

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
5 years ago

http://www.reactiongifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/lol.gif
Man, look at them, grasping at all those tiny white straws while clutching their tiny white pearls. What lengths white supremacists will jump to when trying to justify their views of black men.

Sweaty Examination Goblin
Sweaty Examination Goblin
5 years ago

Having just gotten back from the theatre, and having found this to be a wonderful movie (solid 8/10+ IMHO), this was good for a laugh. My family was actually remarking on how incredibly refreshing it was to have a big-budget film with a black main character who is, you know, like a real human being, not a fetishized or token character. Finn is totally believable and it’s wonderful.

As opposed to, you know, saying that “holding a staff” is the equivalent of “holding a big black dildo”. Nothing about that is demeaning or fetishizing, oh no.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
5 years ago

Uh. Heroic ace resistance pilot Poe Dameron is, y’know, a white guy. They couldn’t even find a movie without a white male leading character to get upset about.

Finn and Rey just seem like friends to me. Poe and Finn were the most affectionate two characters. It would be interesting to see the reaction if Rey goes off and becomes a celibate monk Jedi (I’d love to see a movie where the female lead’s character arc doesn’t center on romance) and Poe and Finn end up having an interracial gay romance.

moviegoers are more than capable of identifying with characters who don’t share their skin color, or their gender, or even their species. Hell, the infographic maker admits they can identify with robots.

Not only that, but moviegoers who aren’t straight cis white men do this all the time when they watch films where the main character (and most of the rest of the cast) are straight cis white men.

YES. The sentiment “I can’t identify with characters that aren’t exactly like me” is pathetic, and negates one of the major functions of art.

zoon echon logon
zoon echon logon
5 years ago

Also. If you look at the new Star Wars and your first thought is “BIG BLACK DICKS,” there’s probably a reason that you think that, and it’s not “subliminal conditioning.”

DrHoveiny
DrHoveiny
5 years ago

I have to hope that some percentage of these guys have *actual* cuckold fetishes/fantasies, and this is just the sexy build up to it. Because seriously, c’mon, you’re going to cut your hands on all those straws yall are grasping at.

(First time commenter, thank you David and community for your hilarious takes on this garbage.)

Walter
Walter
5 years ago

You know, I had issues with The Force Awakens and its portrayals of minorites, but I give it up. I was seeing too much into it. This proves that if you want to hate something, you will find shit to hate.

MsMockingbird
MsMockingbird
5 years ago

Oscar Isaac is Guatemalan by the way. Not white enough for them I suspect.

abars01
abars01
5 years ago

That this graphic refers to to BB-8 as a “nebbish quiet White beta orbiter”, frankly, has gotten my Poe sense tingling. I, honestly, am feeling pretty dubious as to whether the makers of the graphic actually believe this stuff or whether they’re just trolling for the entertainment of their fanboys. Or, indeed, for the attention of anti-racist webgoers such as ourselves. I mean, come on, it’d be like a liberal referring to, say, Chris Kyle as a “fascist bourgeois patriarchal neocolonialist cis scum”, or something.

brian
brian
5 years ago

jeeeeezus. reading this stuff makes me nearly as sad and disgusted as I imagine the movie makes the white supremacists. just the idea there are people in the world who think this way… fuck. just… fuck. I don’t know. I just don’t.

Paradoxical Intention
5 years ago

I had heard that BB-8 is actually a gender-ambiguous little ball, and not necessarily a he. People working on the movie can’t even come to a consensus on it, so I think we should just split the difference and just refer to it as “they” or “it”, and just say it’s agender or even genderfluid due to people waffling on the pronouns.

I did mention that people were already fetishizing it on the previous thread because of the implications that it could be female too.

So, these assholes can try to claim the “cuck ball” all the want, but BB-8 isn’t even technically male.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Who is the white male audience supposed to identify with?

Oh I don’t know how about every other white male character in the entire franchises, 83% of the whole freaking media including the news, movies, shows, video games, history books; White House, etc? So congrats you have experienced just a little tiny bit of what women, poc and other minorities have to put up with.
http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s–lFjU0PaW–/18yce4qckn20jjpg.jpgBtw Merry Christmas everyone!

darkstatistic
darkstatistic
5 years ago

Counterpoint: BB8 is a chick magnet.

Dodom
Dodom
5 years ago

Of course that staff is subliminally determining what I’m sexually attracted to. I’ll never touch a cock less than eight feet long again.

Bina
5 years ago

They see a genderless robot that’s basically R2-D2’s head on a soccer ball as a “white beta male orbiter”?

I have run out of can’t to even.

PS: Shhhh, don’t anyone tell them that C-3PO didn’t get any either (because robot, and therefore no penis to get it with, although he sure was as full of neuroses as these dudes). And that Lando Calrissian, a VERY handsome black man, flirted (quite mutually) with Leia when she wasn’t cracking wise with Han.

NickNameNick
NickNameNick
5 years ago

Don’t tell these guys about Netflix’s Jessica Jones and her sexy times with Luke Cage; their heads would explode.

Hell, don’t even tell them about the comics – wherein they have a child together.

OH NOES, THE MIS-CUCK-GENATION!

Seriously, “cuck” has become as hated a phrase for me as the suffix “-gate”…

JMV Pyro
JMV Pyro
5 years ago

What is it with racists and black penises? This is just all kinds of sad.

Lkeke35
Lkeke35
5 years ago

Wow!
Just wow!
😆😆😆😆😆😆😆
These guys…

Scaly Llama
Scaly Llama
5 years ago

That’s it – I’m going back to see it a third time to check if these guys have a point. (By which I mean, I totally DGAF what they think, but I’ll take any excuse to see it again. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll be back to see it at least another two-three times!)

If they’re trying to drive down box office, their arguments are totes (not) working on me.

OT: I’ve been listening to the soundtrack, and if you’re into music at all, do yourself a favour and get it in your ears. I’m loving Rey’s Theme and The Starkiller in particular!

(Those aren’t spoilers btw – it was widely available info prior to release.)

Tessa
Tessa
5 years ago

NickNameNick:

Hell, don’t even tell them about the comics – wherein they have a child together.

And that child becomes Captain America when she’s an adult.
http://i.imgur.com/KyA8A6K.jpg

Seriously, “cuck” has become as hated a phrase for me as the suffix “-gate”…

I find it useful actually. I know not to take someone who uses it without a trace of irony seriously.

LindsayIrene
5 years ago

If anyone needs brain bleach after that, I give you Black Metal Cats on Twitter.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

There’s a cuckstaff and a cuckball? This sounds like apparatus for the least sanitary team sport ever…

Delphi_ote
Delphi_ote
5 years ago

A BLACK GUY PILOTED THE FALCON AND BLEW UP A DEATH STAR OVER 20 YEARS AGO!

Why are they losing their shit about this film?

Orion
Orion
5 years ago

It’s really weird that he refers to the “white male robot” as a nebbish. Does he somehow not know that a nebbish is … Jewish?

Mike
Mike
5 years ago

Cuck ball. Cuck ball!! CUCK BALL!!! That is just amazing. I’m tempted to say this must be a joke, but I know it’s probably not (or even if it is a joke, it probably hews close to beliefs actually held by actual white supremacists).

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Random but I wanted to share this, I think it’s funny. Warning for strong language
http://youtu.be/i9-5DJhBh6M

Orion
Orion
5 years ago

I looked at the uncensored one. It makes even less sense than David’s edit.

Tessa
Tessa
5 years ago

I can’t get over the irony of an infographic made by white supremacists for white supremacists is complaining that some white guys in the movie are portrayed as “angry pathological white supremacists.”

Woah. I mean, it’s not like any of the white men in the Star Wars franchise ever carried around any large phallic objects of their own that have been made into toys that have been played with by probably half the people on planet earth.

Ah, but those are men wielding silver\white light sabers. I guess it represents their own members. But girls and women… You make them hold something rod shaped and it determines what they’re attracted to. It’s science.

My Evo-Psych major friend says it’s how ancient man regulated mating. The tribe would migrate seasonally, but when the leaders (men of course) wanted more babies for the tribe, they’d go to the area with bananas. The women would gather fruit (as women did), and all those bananas would drive them into a mating frenzy. This is also why women weren’t allowed to hunt. Imagine women walking around holding a bow or a spear… It’d be chaos!

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
5 years ago

Well, seeing as they’re apparently boycotting the film, I guess they really don’t know what happens in it, and only rely on their… err, active imaginations.

Also, I love that they mention the white guy is the evil one, without mentioning all the other white guys around that are good (including Han friggin’ Solo) and I was gonna say more but spoilers.

Also also, hi, infrequent commenter and first time commenting on the updated site, so if I get thrown in moderation for a while and someone else makes these points, it’s not my fault. 🙂

Also also also, happy Christmas to whoever’s celebrating it (Jewish, here, but living in Jerusalem so I was out last night and heard a zillion churchbells from the Old City and it was really neat; and I’m going to make a gingerbread cake today, just because it’s tasty).

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

Um. Can we also point out that they called the villain “Christian”? As in, the dude who participates in (at least a butchered form of) an ancient Force-based religion and prays to his dead ancestor?

They may be latching onto the cross-shaped (read: sword-shaped) sword to make that claim, but this feels to me like pretty substantial proof that they’re simply using “Christian” to mean “white American”. And as a practicing Christian myself, I find that pretty upsetting.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Penny
Merry Christmas to you too. 😀

Kootiepatra
I’m a Christian and it bothers me too.

Tessa
Tessa
5 years ago

Kootiepatra:
Well, Vader was born of immaculate conception. There have been lots of comparison to Anakin as the chosen one to Jesus. But yeah, I see your point. The graphic also has that they worship Vader as a “christ/hitler” figure which is a weird duo to /.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

How did they see a sword as a cross? Have they never seen a sword in that kind of design before? And I don’t understand the “Christ/hitler” part. Hitler hated Jews and Christians. I don’t know if he hated other religions.

mrex
mrex
5 years ago

My absolute favorite thing about this is the argument that the movie programs white girls into viewing white men as “angry pathological white supremacist/Christian villians”. Yes, *The Staff* is why white women view white guys as angry, unstable, racists.

Silly females, ruled by their dildo-staff tingles, and devoid of any logic. I truly feel sorry for the white guys that have to put up with us, so Imma gonna help out;

BY THE POWER GIVEN TO ME BY THE GREAT HUGE BLACK DIDLDO STAFF, I COMMAND THEE, WHITE FEMALES, TO SELL YOURSELF, BODY AND SOUL, TO WHITE MEN, LEST THE ENTIRE WHITE RACE DIE OFF.

Also, what is all this shit I hear from you guys about men identifying with women or with black men? Both black men and women are ruled by base desires and other feeeelings, like animals. In contrast, actual people, like white men and robots, are ruled by logic. This is a scientific fact, I can prove it by posting the opinion of some scientist. (See; facts!) You can try to anthropomorphise black men or women all you want, and indeed the PC police have forced culture, books, and movies to do so, but white men know the truth, and the Hollywood depictions of women and black men as people are quite frankly more unbelievable than the existence of alien races that all speak perfect English.

mrex
mrex
5 years ago

Also, #sarcasm

Anarchonist
Anarchonist
5 years ago

I think the fact that these guys have a Jesus/Hitler combo in their infographic is more revealing than anything. Dudes really see them as interchangable.

Also, Jesus wasn’t white, but when have white supremacists given a shit about historically accurate portrayals? As far as they’re concerned, Moses was Charlton Heston.

@Tessa

My Evo-Psych major friend says it’s how ancient man regulated mating. The tribe would migrate seasonally, but when the leaders (men of course) wanted more babies for the tribe, they’d go to the area with bananas. The women would gather fruit (as women did), and all those bananas would drive them into a mating frenzy.

Oh my God, this is gold! Why is it not customary by evo-tradition for guys looking to get laid to buy women bananas instead of flowers and chocolate and all that useless crap? Who knew bananas were the ultimate aphrodisiac?

@DrHoveiny

Welcome!

GiJoel
GiJoel
5 years ago

Mental note, bombard stormfront board with pics of asian guys screwing white women. Make popcorn first.

mildlymagnificent
mildlymagnificent
5 years ago

I take it these people are too busy making shit up to watch ordinary tv. But they must surely have seen this xmas’s Duracell ad — with light sabres. At least this brother and sister are suitably and obviously white. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__CTejhHZSU

Happy Xmas to everyone. Aaaaaand my super organised daughter managed to produce a whole tray of strawberry santas in between feeding new infant daughter every couple of hours.
http://www.goodfood.com.au/good-food/christmas-feasts/how-to-make-strawberry-santas-20141219-12ajg3.html

Though she used plain whipped cream rather than cream cheese. They look fan.tas.tic and are a nice light finish after a macadamia enriched xmas pudding. (And we’ll be doing it all again in January when the country rellies come to town.)

Malitia
Malitia
5 years ago

Hmmm… That Danielle Cage Captain America in Tessa’s comment. I’ve seen her somewhere…Oh yeah. That pic is from the first (Avengers) issue of Ultron Forever (published in April, written by Al Ewing).
.
..

And this was my comicbook trivia corner for today apparently.

abars01
abars01
5 years ago

P.S.: Has anyone else read Davis Aurini’s rant about SWTFA on Stares at the World?

Scaly Llama
Scaly Llama
5 years ago
Reply to  Tessa

@Tessa

Well, Vader was born of immaculate conception.

WE AGREED NEVER TO MENTION THIS OR MIDICHLORIANS EVER, EVER AGAIN!

😂

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

I like R2-D2. He’s got everything I look for in a man: cute, smart, and loyal.

Yeah, I know that he’s not of my species–or, really, any species.

We’re star-crossed lovers.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@abars01:
Thanks for the reference, that rant is gold. I haven’t stopped laughing all the way through.

Listen up, White Man: J.J. Abrams hates you. He relishes the thought of your extinction as he looks forward to a multi-culti matriarchy where instead of studying math and sciences, everyone sits around discussing their feelings. As for you, Black Man, he doesn’t want your extinction – you get to prance about doing monkey shine, so long as you obey your white, feminist overlords.

David, you need to read this. It’s vintage Aurini: overwritten, messianic, convinced of his own genius.

@DrHoveiny:
Welcome!

@Kootiepatra:
Wow. I missed that, and you’re right that it’s horribly offensive. I wonder if they realise that they’re not representative of mainstream Christianity; or do they see everyone else as No True Christian?

@Penny Psmith:
Happy Hannukah!

@Tessa:
Your evo-psych friend sounds very wise. What’s their name? We may need to quote them in future.

@Mike:
The important question we have to ask ourselves is, how many players are there on each side of a cuckball match and are you allowed to touch the ball with your hands?

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
5 years ago

Hanukkah’s been and gone, but thanks! As far as holidays go, I’m basically in the “the more the merrier” camp.

brian
brian
5 years ago

Happy Belated Hogswatch, everyone!

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
5 years ago

My Evo-Psych major friend says it’s how ancient man regulated mating. The tribe would migrate seasonally, but when the leaders (men of course) wanted more babies for the tribe, they’d go to the area with bananas. The women would gather fruit (as women did), and all those bananas would drive them into a mating frenzy. This is also why women weren’t allowed to hunt. Imagine women walking around holding a bow or a spear… It’d be chaos!

OMG!!! WTF??? FFS?!

Did he make this up himself? Or was he taught this? (I’m assuming he, because…um, I can’t imagine a woman believing this for a second.) I mean whaaaaa?

If phallic things got women all worked up, then why not, you know, just pull back the mammoth skin and reveal the giant staff (that they were carrying for the hunt, obvs).

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

Wow. I am certain Freud would have a field day analyzing thoses guys.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

That being said, there is one thing we can let them have : it’s normal MRAs identify themselves with Kylo Ren. Even outside of sarcasm, he do have the mixture of confusion, entitlement, and self-questioning to end up a MRA.

Instead, he found an arguably better thing to do. Good thing, else the movie would be a snoozefest.

bluecat
bluecat
5 years ago

Thanks for this David, and thank you for all the laughs (and scares and horrors) you have offered us this last year, and thanks to all the great contributors on the Mammoth Hunt. Merry thing, Mammotheers!

Well, on Monday me and Mr Bluecat took the grandsprogs and their mum to see Star Wars, and we’re all terribly conflicted now.

Being an older white woman I obviously must have identified with General Princess Leia and nobody else in the movie, but (unless you count the long-nursed envy that long ago, in a galaxy far away, she got close and personal with Han Solo with his shirt off… sigh!) I kept finding myself identifying with the other people, beasts and sentient robots who cluttered up the screen while I was waiting for a version of myself to appear.

My husband, as an older white guy, had rather more choice of older white guys to identify with (as usual, amirite feminists?) I think he’ll probably choose Luke Skywalker, cos he had the best scenery to contemplate and a really nice cloak. All the same, he enjoyed the other 125 minutes of the film, and I just can’t understand why.

My daughter-in-law is Kenyan, so she must have been desperately torn between identifying with a young white woman or with a young black man – you obviously only have room to identify with a single character out of the a cast of thousands, and I’m not sure whether gender or race comes out top. Perhaps I should ask the chaps who made the meme, but the concept of intersectionality would probably make their brains explode.

Of course, there was a Kenyan woman on screen, the lovely Lupita Nyong’o (I have a special reason for loving her) but as they took one of the most beautiful women in film and made her up into a wizened thousand year old yellow alien bar keeper, and as none of us is a thousand years old, yellow, or an alien (though two of us are slightly wizened and one of us has kept a bar) it was impossible for any of us to identify with her or care what happened when her planet got attacked, because that is totally how drama works.

My lovely step-granddaughters of course should be identifying with Rey and nobody else, but they are girls of colour and we didn’t spot any of those on the screen. Perish the thought they identify with a male protagonist: that would be weird – which is why no women ever enjoys a movie with men in the lead roles.

Plus of course they were the ones being indoctrinated, as the meme tells us, and so we’ve probably committed numerous heinous acts of genocide simply by bringing a 6 and a 10 year old – whose ancestry is Kenyan, English, Irish, Scottish, Austrian, Jewish, Spanish and heaven knows what else – to a movie which they all enjoyed.

They liked the battle scenes and the big critter drinking at the water trough. We probably all need therapy now.