So you remember that half-assed Star Wars: The Force Awakens “boycott” that the white supremacists tried to get going a couple of months ago?
Well, apparently it was a GIGANTIC SUCCESS. In some alternate universe. Probably.
Aren’t there like infinite universes or something? There’s probably an alternate universe somewhere where we’re all giant land-squids, and in that universe every single giant land squid decided to spend the day playing Jarts instead of going to Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
Oh, also in that universe Jarts are still legal.
Meanwhile, in this universe, where very few of us are giant land-squids, the Star Wars boycott kind of flopped big time.
Making this dude very, very sad, we imagine.
http://media.makeameme.org/created/we-now-believe.jpg
That fucking guy >.<
Even in MN it’s been fairly warm. It’s only snowed a little and none of it stuck. I walked back from the bus stop in a sweater and carried my coat. I think the high was in the low 40s.
El Nino + maybe global warming I guess?
That picture of Daisy, John, and JJ is gonna be passed around on a million White Supremacist/Manuresphere/Fringe-Right websites, entitled “JOOISH SHEKELGRABBING MISCEGENATION-ENABLER PUSHING A CHIMP TOWARDS A FEMINIST RACE-TRAITOR TO HASTEN THE ONGOING WHITE GENOCIDE”.
It’s been savagely mild here in Old England too. It feels like mid to late autumn even though we only get a small amount of grubby sunlight every day. Seasonal Affective Disorder may be kicking my ass but at least I’m warm.
Luz, M: How’s summer?
@Frank:
Agreed. They’re going to see that picture and think, “Star Wars was made by a woman, a jew and a black, and zero human beings.” If this is what white genocide is, then sign me up. The movies are good and the schadenfreude is first-rate.
Slightly as a digression, is “shekelgrubber” a Hitler reference?
@EJ
I have noticed that Neonazis/White Supremacists/MRAs/Redpillers tend to mention jews and shekels often, so I mish-mashed the two together in the hopes of really capturing that Neo-nazi screed-type argle-bargley spit-flying rant type stuff they do.
Holy fuck, you guys, I just realized something: Hitler’s flag was red. The red-pillers have chosen red as their symbol.
I think we all know what this means, ladies, gentlemen, and persons of fluid gender.
>:C
On white genocide:
According to the White Neo-Nazi Manuresphere – the WNNM, as I shall call their amalgamation of racism, sexism, homophobia, and Nationalism – ‘white genocide’ happens whenever a black man’s penis enters a white woman’s vagina.
Make of that what you will, gentlemen, ladies, and genderfluid persons. Make of that what you will.
I was about to say something, but got distracted by an article in the “Random Posts” box at the side, headed with a picture of Christina Hendricks, and promptly became perplexed upon seeing her boobs.
CLEARLY, DAVID IS TRYING TO MAKE ME MISCEGENATE-CUCK-GENOCIDE WHITE MEN WORLDWIDE.
*ahem*
I just got an idea for a parody of the “Save the Whales” ads.
*Sad music plays*
“Every five seconds, a Superior Aryan White Man is being Beta-cucked by the Miscegenation Clause of Da Joos, as a He-Boon penetrates the Rhine Valley Vagina of a White Female with his Genocidal Big Black Cock.
*pictures of sad white males*
Dear viewers, please help the White Males by donating. Give Generously; and you, too, can Save The White Males by preventing White Genocide, by way of White Women having sex with He-boons. Only you can make a difference.”
Lol, throwing money at the problem has never stopped anyone crossing the
RubiconRhine, why should it work now?wrong. there is no universe where star wars fails.
@Frank:
That’s a huge coincidence then, because “Schicklgruber” was Hitler’s father’s birth surname, which he changed before Adolf was born. I’m told that German-speakers who dislike Hitler will refer to him as “Adolf Schicklgruber” in order to piss off Nazis.
I just got another idea that makes fun of the WNNM white males.
RACE WARS: EPISODE 4 – A NEW CUCK
Instead of fighting against Darth Vader and The Death Star, our heroes have to fight against Darth Lexington and a space station shaped like a giant black dildo.
The space station does not shoot a destroying laser – just a laser that makes all white women in the vicinity suddenly become straight and desirous of Big Black Cocks.
Someone fund me.
The best thing about El Nino thought is that we’re getting so much rain in California.
This has to be the third or forth rainfall this year that’s lasted all day. We even had one that lasted for three!
It’s so great! 😀
And somewhere we’re all ponies.
It’s not as exciting as it sounds; the earth, unicorn, and pegasus ponies are racist towards zebra ponies, and they won’t let refugee ponies into Equestria.
Everything is terrible everywhere. :C
I know this is a good page or two back, but I cannot get over the “Finn/Jar Jar” comparison. What in the ever-loving heck.
I am going to be careful how I talk about it, so as not to get spoiler-y, but I’ll say this: I think the major strength of the new Star Wars movie is that it remembered how to have fun.
[No spoilers about the new movie. Minor spoilers about Eps. I-III if you somehow both care about them and haven’t seen them]
Episodes I – III vacillated wildly between corny goofiness (Jar Jar, and at times C3PO), and wooden stoicism (Padme in her full queen getup, the Jedi Council, etc.). It was full of good actors who were almost never allowed to show an emotion, unless it was time to be anguished over something. It showed us the workings of the senate, not because it was interesting, but because it was “important” world-building. It shoved Anakin and Padme at each other, certainly not because there was any genuine chemistry there, but because it was “important” to see how Luke’s parents got together. The films were primarily focusing on fleshing out backstory, and not on–y’know–actually being good movies. (And no, I’m not arguing that they should have abandoned the existing lore; simply that they needed to bump entertainment a lot higher up the priority list.)
The new movie returned in many ways to the excitement, wisecracks, and warmth of Episode IV. It has in no way abandoned the existing lore, but it feels refreshingly like finding a new adventure with interesting new people, and not like dutifully recounting the serious, important chronicles of a fictional galaxy far, far away.
So yeah, Finn has more personality than a wooden post, but that doesn’t make him Jar Jar. That means he’s actually a figure the audience cares about. I am excited to see how his story and character develop over the coming films. I wish I could talk more about what I like about him, but I don’t think there’s a way to do so without leaking too much info.
But Finn is nothing like Jar Jar. In fact, there is no Jar Jar equivalent in the new movie, because the creators wisely chose not to put the entire burden of comic relief on a single character.
@Kootiepatra
Agree with everything you said there.
Simply put, Finn is not a comic relief character, even if he is responsible for many of the funniest moments in the movie. Even if he WAS just a comic relief character, he’d still be nothing like Jar-Jar in that he was actually funny, instead of gratingly irritating.
Re: the film industry
For peeps who want a really good, and amusing, insight into how it works I can’t recommend William Goldman’s “Adventures in the Screen Trade” highly enough.
Finn’s man purpose was comic relief. His comedy was just a little more mature, natural and actually funny. Finn wasn’t over the top like Jar Jar, but he was bumbling and goofy and needed to be saved at every turn. His secondary purpose was to be put in danger so the white characters could look clever or heroic.
Once I saw the movie I understood why they made him black. A competent female hero next to a bumbling male sidekick would turn off white male fans if the sidekick was white. But they wouldn’t care if the sidekick was non-white because white audiences are trained to recognize the white person as the hero. So by making Finn black they were able to easily establish Rey as the hero without fear of alienating white male fans.
It was a good piece use audiencw psychology by Abrams and the producers.
@Walter
What does all this matter? I thought the only important thing in the world was penis size.
@everybody else
Can we ban this troll soon? I vote yes.
It’s difficult to explain why Walter is so completely wrong about Finn without giving away moderate spoilers, so it’ll have to suffice to say that he is very, very, wrong.
The Evil Mouse -Carl Hiassen (sp?) has written several essays on Disney, they are almost as entertaining as his novels.
I agree we could settle the whole thing (and satisfy Walter) by just asking JJ Abrahms about his dick size – could someone with a twitter account get on that?
Frank & EJ – anti nazi’s in this country also taunt NSM pricks with ‘Shicklgruber’ but they are mostly so dumb they don’t get the reference.
Alan Robertshaw – (I might be on the wrong thread but whatever) jarts were great! I can’t believe none of us kids or our dogs were injured. They were pretty short so they couldn’t be thrown like a javelin, you had to throw them underhand towards a plastic circle/target but like a softball you could get a hell of a windup if you wanted – most of the time we went for distance or height rather than the target. You should definately order some from Ebay and take them to the pub.
@Walter, god damn you can’t read a movie at all, can you? Thanks for that cynical race politics turd you just dropped. Not to mention the spoilers, although I suppose anyone can infer that the character who occupies the same space as Luke did in ANH is not going to be a background character.
Everybody had chances to make wisecracks or say silly things. There is a history of POC being the butts of jokes in Hollywood (to say the least), but you’re saying that means POC can’t make jokes or be the butts of jokes without it being racist.
@dhag85,
Seconded!
@ syllybill
I have been checking out Jarts. The potential for chaos seems pretty high, especially as I have a dog that likes to catch any inflight object 🙂
I’m not sure I can be trusted to use them in a public space but I am tempted to get some for next darts night at the pub.
When I was a kid we made something quite similar (bit of cane with flights and a metal tip) but we used to launch them with a bit of rope woomera style; they went miles!
We’ve had a very mild fall and winter here in The Vast Frozen North. I only hope that’s equally true in Manitoba, as we’re going to visit boyfriend’s family there for Christmas; and, fond as I am of complaining about Alberta winters, we ain’t got nothing on them.
@weather stuff
It’s actually been a relatively cool and very wet summer here, never over 35 C (I did say “Relatively”). More humid than Roosh’s unwashed arse in rubber pants, but it’s Queensland, humidity comes with the territory.
And I apologise to anybody who might’ve been eating when they read that. =P
@ SFHC
Relative to what!? The f***ing Sun?