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imaginary backwards land misogyny oppressed white men racism

Star Wars Boycott a Huge Success in Imaginary Backwards Land

Daisy Ridley, JJ Abrams and John Boyega mourn the disasterous failure of Star Wars: The Force Awakens in some alternate universe probably
Daisy Ridley, JJ Abrams and John Boyega mourn the disastrous failure of Star Wars: The Force Awakens in some alternate universe probably

So you remember that half-assed Star Wars: The Force Awakens “boycott” that the white supremacists tried to get going a couple of months ago?

Well, apparently it was a GIGANTIC SUCCESS. In some alternate universe. Probably.

Aren’t there like infinite universes or something? There’s probably an alternate universe somewhere where we’re all giant land-squids, and in that universe every single giant land squid decided to spend the day playing Jarts instead of going to Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

Oh, also in that universe Jarts are still legal.

Meanwhile, in this universe, where very few of us are giant land-squids, the Star Wars boycott kind of flopped big time.

Making this dude very, very sad, we imagine.

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nparker
nparker
9 years ago

@ Viscaria

I never said all children liked them! I just said a lot do, so the fandom is now much bigger.

Also, I so disagree about the racism. I’ve just never agreed with that assessment myself.

Viscaria
Viscaria
9 years ago

@nparker, fair enough! I don’t know many of my cohort who did enjoy them, though. But that might be selection bias based on who my friends were.

Falconer
9 years ago

Beloved and I have seen the film, and we loved it. I was flailing in my seat, I was so fanboyed up. Not that it was perfect, but I can’t wait for Ep VIII.

@Alan, Jarts are lawn darts. If you don’t know what those are, the illegal sort are a foot long with heavy metal tips. They’re supposed to stick into the lawn so they’re not very sharp, but they’re dangerous enough that lots of people were injured and a few killed playing with them.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ Falconer

That sounds awesome! I’d love to turn up at darts night at the pub with a set.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ nparker

On a related note, are you familiar with the real story behind the “Argo” caper?

Patricia Kayden
Patricia Kayden
9 years ago

Not even White Supremacists are that delusional.

nparker
nparker
9 years ago

@ Alan Robertshaw

I did, but I can’t remember now.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ nparker

I was just thinking of how it involved pretending to film “Lord of Light” (which always seemed to have a bit of a proto-Star Wars vibe to me).

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

I vowed only to use my psychic powers to fight crime, but I’m going to make an exception and predict what the next Twitter storm is going to be:

http://www.theguardian.com/books/shortcuts/2015/dec/21/hermione-granger-black-noma-dumezwani-harry-potter-cursed-child

nparker
nparker
9 years ago

@ Falconer

Is it a little bit like using javalins?

Falconer
9 years ago

@nparker: Maybe. I’ve never played jarts or thrown javelins, but I expect there’s some similarities.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

Fabe | December 20, 2015 at 11:44 pm
Oh , I thought this article would be about said racists actually claiming that their boycott was successful and there would be lots of hilarious screen shots of twitter posts explaining why it was successful.

Actually, I saw a few twitters where said racists were buying tickets.

https://twitter.com/SuperheroFeed/status/678712206331019264

They can’t even be consistent.

Also, has anyone else heard about how the little spherical robot (Not a fan of Star Wars, but happy to see you all enjoying yourselves) is female?

And how someone is already sexualizing it?

Falconer
9 years ago

Also, has anyone else heard about how the little spherical robot (Not a fan of Star Wars, but happy to see you all enjoying yourselves) is female?

And how someone is already sexualizing it?

DO. NOT. WANT.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ Falconer

DO. NOT. WANT.

Ha, brilliant (and uber nerdy!)

Moggie
Moggie
9 years ago

I know about Rule 34. But if there’s really porn of BB-8, can we just delete the Internet and start over?

Falconer
9 years ago

@Alan, I could hardly have gone with anything else, could I?

@Moggie, I am standing by to delete my internet. Say the word.

Walter
Walter
9 years ago

nparker

Disney doesn’t have a creative process. It isn’t a person. The artists who work for Disney have a creative process. It’s them who create the beautiful films that have made the Disney Corporation so much money, not Disney or the suits who run it.

Disney is nothing more than a middleman between us (the consumer) and the artist. They don’t add any value and in fact hold our culture back by lobbying against the public domain. Which is hypocritical considerring how much Disney has benefited from raiding the public domain to make its films.

Lucas had a story that he wanted to tell and he told it. He made some money merchandising it, but it was HIS idea. It wasn’t something that he bought and decided to merchandise, it was his. Why shouldn’t he make a profit off his own idea?

Holytape
9 years ago

No the boycott was successful. Sure it made 238 million in its opening weekend. But those were beta dollars and not alpha dollars. So, there’s that..

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

@Moggie, I am standing by to delete my internet. Say the word.

No way in hell am I looking, but it possibly can’t be as eyebleacharific (yes, that’s a word now) as the Space Core porn that Google puked at me once. Space Core porn. Why. ;__;

Falconer
9 years ago

@Walter, go see it or don’t go see it, I don’t care.

But I got more pew pew and life savers and ex wigs this past weekend, and you didn’t.

Kootiepatra
9 years ago

I just got back from the movie theater. All I’ll say about it is that it’s the most genuine fun I’ve had at a movie in a long time. Really, really excellent film, and I have high hopes for the future installments.

Falconer
9 years ago

@SFHC: I didn’t see anything beyond a description of “Oh, I drew BB-8 with a Fleshlight implant” but that was enough.

http://data.whicdn.com/images/172895814/large.gif

nparker
nparker
9 years ago

@ Walter

What the fuck did I just read? Walter, stop trying to sound like you know anything about the film industry, because you don’t.

Well done, the Disney Company is not a single person. The people at the top, the ‘suits’ as you call them, are not the whole of the Disney Company though. They have an important role, and that is to collect the best people they can find. It is immensely cynical to decide arbitrarily that those ‘suits’ do not contribute anything, because without them Disney films would not get done. They contribute, just as the writers, producers, directors and others do. Not creatively perhaps, but they still contribute.

Do you really want to argue about the definition of ‘Disney’? Really? You seem to want me to say ‘people at Disney including creators, writers, directors, producers, script editors, animators…’ every time. Well I won’t. I will call them Disney, because listing all the people who I have arbitrarily decided are part of the movie-making process is stupid. Everyone has a part to play.

Guess what? George Lucas was, and is, a ‘suit’ as you refer to them as. He contributes a hell of a lot, and would be doing so even if he wasn’t actively involved in the creative side of things. Creative people cannot create if they are not either ’employed’ by ‘suits’ or one themselves. Execs play an important role, in financing the creative vision of filmmakers. Don’t dismiss the.

‘Creative process’ is not one person’s effort. It is a collaborative effort. George did not create Star Wars all on his own as you seem to think he does, and he has never claimed such a thing. It is collaborative, and I refuse to stop calling them ‘Disney’ because everyone within the Disney Company has a role to play, whether you consider them worthy of thanks or not.

“Lucas had a story that he wanted to tell and he told it. He made some money merchandising it, but it was HIS idea. It wasn’t something that he bought and decided to merchandise, it was his. Why shouldn’t he make a profit off his own idea?”

Star Wars was something 20th Century Fox bought, and agreed to merchandise. Lucas would not have been able to create his films if he was not employed by ‘suits.’ Guess what? Those ‘suits’ helped him finance his films. Who are you to decide whether they have worth or not?

Also, I never said that he shouldn’t profit off his idea. JJ and the cast and crew will also profit from their creations. Profit is not the be all and end all.

“Disney is nothing more than a middleman between us (the consumer) and the artist. They don’t add any value and in fact hold our culture back by lobbying against the public domain. Which is hypocritical considering how much Disney has benefited from raiding the public domain to make its films.”

I’ve addressed this ludicrous claim already, but I’ll say it again- Disney. Made. The. Film. Happen. Also, I. Will. Not. Stop. Referring. To. Them. Collectively.

Also, its not hypocritical. Disney want to protect their own ideas. When they take inspiration from the public domain, the people who created those stories did not care that much, or they would have ‘lobbied’ too.

In short, you have no idea what you’re banging on about. Now go and stew in jealousy over your friends’ penises. Stick to what you’re good at, eh Walter?

Scaly Llama
Scaly Llama
9 years ago
Reply to  Walter

@ Walter

You seem remarkably naïve for someone who clearly understands a bit about the movie industry.

Disney is nothing more than a middleman between us (the consumer) and the artist

And what did you think 20thC Fox was to the original films? Just a logo and fanfare at the start?

(Disney has had the good sense not to put any logos of its own at the beginning.)

You are becoming annoying in your “God of the gaps” approach to defending your pov. If you don’t like the movie, that’s fine, but stop pretending you have any grand reasoning behind it related to artistic integrity, or creator originality.

You didn’t like it. Let’s all just move on from that since you’re not convincing us, and we’re not convincing you.

MTFBWY

nparker
nparker
9 years ago

Oh and Walter? You’ve contradicted yourself. Disney do not have a creative process, so their films will not be down to them, but Disney films are made up of individuals who do count?