Life is so much better now that I’ve stopped seeing women as human beings, loathsome manbaby explains

This comment contains mild levels of TMI

15) The feeling like you can’t ever have a relationship because everyone acts like relationships = sex, and you’d be letting your partner down if you really don’t want sex
17) When you actually like hugs and cuddling, but you don’t want sex, and people take hugs as proof you aren’t ace

So much yes (I’m more demi-sexual, but yeah). No, actually, I really do just want to cuddle, why can’t cuddles be a nice thing without them involving sex? Or worse, oh, you’re monogamous and we aren’t gonna fuck so we can’t cuddle? But I think you’re awesome… 🙁

This is how I have an ex not actually FWB. It’s a thing that happens when poly bi genderqueers folks decide they really like each other’s company, and that feels good, may I touch there next? And then you move 500 miles. Life, it’s complicated.

Oh! Guys! Ze’s a full fledged pharmacist now! With a nice apartment and two cats that warily accept each other and all these things are way more interesting to me than whether there will ever be sexytimes!

@Gosuamakenatek

The issue being brought up here is that “female” is an adjective, not a noun, and using adjectives that describe minorities *as* nouns in that way is a very common method used to “other” those minorities. “He is a gay” instead of “He is gay”, for example. It is additionally troubling to use “females” as there’s already words available to describe female people – the preferred one obviously being “woman.”

And adding even further is the very common habit of misogynists (et al) of using “men” at the same time as “females” which means it is often taken as an indication of a lack of respect towards women as people (or at least a lack of critical thought put towards gender issues).

While I feel that your original post wasn’t necessarily made in bad faith, your use of such a term while also expressing opinions tangential to those being discussed in the main post – plus some fairly swift defensiveness – has raised some red flags.

@Gosuamakenatek
I take you at your word that you didn’t mean things the way they came out. I apologize for being harsh.

If you’re interested in learning how to avoid misunderstandings like this in the future, we can help. But please stop doubling down and getting defensive. It’s very difficult to learn when defensive, and it sends the message that your intent is more important than the impact your words have.

Malesuicide:

MGTOW (and I do so hate that acronym) is nothing more than male feminism. It aspouses the same basic gender centric principles.
The idea that men are better off without women is no different to what society in general has been fed for the last 30 + years, except the other way around.
Why do feminists now choose to call men playing by the same rules bad or more humiliating “sad”?

If women needed men like a fish needed a bicycle and this was socially accepted within pop culture, then what’s the issue with the bicycle not needing a fish?

You really don’t understand feminism… or life… or word. Women don’t need men. Men don’t need women. They are both quite capable of existing without the other. People of all genders can survive without others of any gender in particular. That expression you don’t seem to understand is saying that women are capable of supporting themselves. A man isn’t a necessity for their survival in society and the world in general (which is a concept that was quite contrary to the general consensus of society at the time the expression was first spoken). Now, Straight and bi women may want/desire a man, or even men. None of this requires or even implies hatred of men. IN FACT! It’s even it’s better. These women aren’t in relationships out of a selfish survival instinct, but because they want the men! They value them as people!

That is why MGTOW will never be like feminism (seriously, I almost snorted out every fluid in my body when I read that). They don’t value women as people. MGTOW hate women.

They want women. They desire them. But they want power over the women in their life, and thanks to pesky feminism, women are less likely to take that kind of power trip. This leads to the above mentioned hatred, AND because of their hatred of women, they try to separate from them… In the loudest way possible.

And this is the real issue. Clearly our mainstream media allows feminist voices to be heard including the more extremist ones, such as you’ll see in the guardian… this normalises within the culture a abnormal extremists misandry. For all the complaints about extremism within MGTOW, it’s limited to Reddit message boards. It’s not considered socially acceptable and no matter how hard feminists protest against MGTOW it is still a fringe culture. It may be a growing culture but you can blame the socially acceptable insanity promoted in the likes of the guardian for its growth.

You really don’t like the Guardian…

Yet I don’t see many “reasonable” feminists taking stock or cleaning house within their own ranks. No, much easier to take pot shots at men who openly say they no longer want women. If anything the MGTOW should be a feminists dream come true so why the animosity? It only makes it appear that women really do need men. So my advice is just to completely ignore MGTOW especially as that’s what they say they are doing with you.

Yeah, someone who says, “I don’t have any feeling towards women. I do not recognize them as complete human beings but unevolved persons,” is toooootally a feminist’s dream. (Well, maybe… but it would be one of those bad kinds of dreams. You know the kinds I mean.)

It looks like men can’t win judging by feminists impossible standards. You look at porn and your a pervert. You stop looking at porn and you a msygonist.

Where the heck did the “you stop looking at porn and you’re a misogynist” come from? That’s definitely a new one for me. As for the looking at porn part, eh, I doubt the issue is “perversion.” Generally there’s the issue of the aggressive domination over women portrayed in mainstream porn, and how this can affect guys’ views towards women (and even women’s self perception.) (TMI time! Skip to next blockquote if you don’t wanna see : I watch way too much porn, but I avoid mainstream stuff like the plague (mainly because it’s amazing how misogynistic even their “lesbian” porn is.)). Personally I think mainstream porn could do with a feminist revolution. (But this is a pretty hot topic within feminism.)

Straight men would have to condition themselves to quit porn, because it’s addictive. If your gonna quit smoking or drinking your gonna need to develop a distain for cigarettes or alcohol, in order to quit them.

There isn’t only porn for straight men…
Buuuuut, I don’t think that’s really how you quit drinking or smoking. I guess it’s a way… But disdain for porn or even sex, shouldn’t translate to a disdain of women.

Sex is more of a biological addiction with men and it skews male judgement on women, it prevents an honest dialogue between the sexes. This is why women largely believe men are habitual liars. We lie in order to tell women what women need to hear, so that we can have sex with them.

I’m always amazed at how much guys like you hate men. Do you actually have any respect for the people of your gender? You are saying men are incapable of talking honestly with women because they are so overpowered by crotch tingles that they must lie.

Gosuamakenatek:

Thanks kupo, I was starting to think I should just give up on this place too like I do everywhere else because I screwed up and made another group of people hate me. Maybe I should, I’m just gonna do this again, I always do, this happens to me all the time and that’s why I get so defensive. To me, everything is simple and exactly what it looks like, but to normal people, everything “implies” something, and I’ll never be able to get the hang of that, I can’t even pick up on the most obvious symbolism. So, I should probably just go back to only posting in places where I couldn’t care less what they think about me, that never makes me feel like worthless garbage.

I’m going to try to say this in the nicest way possible. I think the problem is the lack of listening to what others are saying and perhaps a lack of self reflection. If you look at it as “people are mad at me! I better go” you’ll just keep doing it over and over (as it seems you have been doing).

So at some point, I suggest you look at what people say they are mad about, or how they interpret your words, so in the future you can better communicate what you want to say to the particular group you’re talking about.

@Gosuamakenatek

I’m sorry. I realize some things can’t be fixed.

I hope things get better.

And, I hope you keep commenting here–if you feel like it.

I think the problem is the lack of listening to what others are saying and perhaps a lack of self reflection

Strangers’ problems can’t be accurately diagnosed over the internet. The problem could just as well be a tendency to police language at the expense of reading and listening charitably to others. I’ve been guilty of that myself.

@ contrapangloss

Thank you ever so much for that; both the specific llama stuff (been scribbling notes) and the general evolutionary biology stuff.

The biology of herbi/omnivores becoming carnivores is very interesting. It’s also a bit controversial in the animal rights circles I dwell in. Most of my friends are pretty hardcore vegans (won’t even drive through a town with ‘Ham’ in the name sort of thing) so I get some stick for my bacon loving tendencies. But look at pandas for an example of someone with a carnivore biology trying to get by on a vegan diet.

In one of the first drafts of “2001” the monolith was intended to turn the man apes into carnivores. Arthur Clarke got Isaac Asimov to examine the changes that would be necessary.

Re: Julie Bindel

Julie is a bit of a controversial figure. She’s one of the classic ‘political lesbians’ so perhaps not a representative of mainstream feminism, to the extent that she’s been ‘No platformed’ by a lot of student unions. (She blames that on men, by which she means trans women). She also believes that sexuality is a choice. She’s still allowed to write for the Guardian but less frequently now as the Guardian moves away from its previous TERFy brand of feminism (a few regular trans writers now; although still pretty supportive of Germane Greer but she is a bit of an icon here still).

@Buttercup

I’ve always assumed they all stick to the same ten books because they see everything else as being LIBERAL COMMUNIST PROPAGANDA!!! Capslock included.

We are talking about the people who think Star Wars is an evil Jewish plot, after all.

Contrapangloss:

13) Feeling awkward singing along to the radio or in public because every single song is either religious or about love.

Let me recommend the late, great Warren Zevon who never achieved wide acclaim because he wrote way fewer songs about romance (and none about religion.) “Werewolves of London” was his only real hit (late 70’s) and he also wrote the oft-covered “Mohammed’s Radio” and even his ‘love’ songs were kind of quirky. He had a few more mainstream songs like “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me” covered by other artists.

/Zevon derail

@Gosu –
Im not sure what you mean by saying there are some things you cant legally talk to a psychologist about. Psychs are there to prescribe meds primarily, but talk therapists can talk to you about your depression and social issues. The only thing they would have to report is if you want to harm other people or yourself. And if you truly are a danger (rape, murder, suicide), you have a responsibility to do something about it even if it means involuntary hospitalization, which isnt so bad, Ive been hospitalized and it helped me.

I haven’t even read the article or comments, I’m so hung up on the picture.

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck.