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Among his likes: Erotic wrestling, male authority, maroon berets. Among his dislikes: women and black guys playing prominent roles in Star Wars movies.
Over on FetLife, the kinky social networking site, a fellow called LordMichael lays out his objections to the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There are three of them: The character Daisy Ridley, that black stormtrooper dude, and that black stormtrooper dude’s penis.
Oh, LordMichael insists he has no trouble “with having a diverse cast.” What bothers him, he says, is
the reason why they are there… the political “you go gurrrrl” message that’s being self flagellated everywhere.
For LordMichael, a self-described “Dominant Sadist,” the idea of a woman as a protagonist in Star Wars is
like taking a symbol of something from my childhood that I looked up to, that helped to shape the kind of person I am today, and smearing it up with menstrual blood marks.
Do you not remember a character by the name of Princess Leia? You know, who went around shooting people with blasters and stuff?
Well, never mind, because LordMichael has moved on to the black stormtrooper, who stirs up some, er, complicated feelings about race and, well, penis size.
This has a very big [Big Black Cock] Cuckold in your face feel to it as well… as the political insult to being male, and white (being black somehow excludes you from the whole being a male thing) continues to be an omnipresent smear throughout so much of the media lately.
LordMichael is especially concerned that by casting a black man as a stormtrooper, in a film that at no point will put anyone’s penis on display, director J.J. Abrams is somehow contributing to the popular perception that black men have bigger penises than their white counterparts. And this is a grave injustice to white dudes like LordMichael whose penises are actually plenty big, you better believe it.
No, this really is LordMichael’s main objection to the new Star Wars. Let’s let him explain;
I hear this statement said so often, any time I hear something regarding cock size “if his dick is big, it must mean he is black right?”
I’ve seen plenty of male penises, if only for the fact that I’ve been in sports teams, in the military, and I used to frequent the YMCA back when I could still run on a treadmill, and let me tell you, black people do not have any bigger cocks than white dudes.
In addition to conducting surreptitious penis size research in YMCA locker rooms, LordMichael apparently discusses the matter fairly regularly with men of color.
I’ve even had arguments against a couple particularly self absorbed young punks I could remember that said “I could get bitches better than you because my dick is bigger.” After asking them how big their dick is they said “9 inches bruh!” rolls eyes Please, mother fucker. It ain’t 9 inches. Realistically speaking, less than 1 in a hundred people have a cock larger than 7.5 inches, yet EVERYONE’S got a 9 in their pocket… I mean… come on??
In case you’re wondering, LordMichael’s dingle dangle is nothing to sneeze at:
My cock actually IS 7 inches, and people have a hard time believing me when I say that… which I don’t get. I’m white, which must mean I’ve got to have a 5 inch cock… and don’t tell me that cock size doesn’t matter.
Hell, penis-size-wise, LordMichael’s pink oboe is pretty much perfect, and by “perfect” he means it’s big enough to cause internal bruising, allegedly.
And besides, anything larger than 7 inches starts to become painful for the woman. Even my wife has difficulty with it at times, and starts to feel sick to her stomach from the internal bruising… and I’m not trying to brag by any means, I’m just trying to understand why this dialogue is even necessary.
Weird, because I’m also trying to understand why this dialogue is necessary, especially since we’re supposedly talking about Star Wars, a series of films that has at no point ever featured anyone’s penis.
This whole propagandizing and emasculating white men is just stupid as fuck. I’ve never been a particularly racist or sexist person… UP UNTIL women, and black men, started shoving this crap in my face on a regular basis, and now I’ve got “battered dog” conditioning starting to take place in my head.
Clearly, a white dude whose first reaction to seeing a black stormtrooper in a Star Wars trailer is DON’T CUCKOLD ME WITH YOUR BIG BLACK COCK AND BY THE WAY MY COCK IS PRETTY BIG REALLY IT’S PRETTY MUCH THE PERFECT SIZE was only driven to racism by having big black cocks shoved in his face, figuratively speaking.
So anyway… these punks are starting to believe that their cocks are larger than life because of the mind rot we see in the movies. They are basically selling out to the reverse racism because it suits them, which only lowers my sympathy for them, and then there’s the “little white girl” syndrome that has daddy issues so hard that she has to find the biggest, most belligerent black man she can find to feel as infantalized as she wants to be… without the consequences of having it happen with a “white man” (I mean, UGH! Right?) Because then she’s just feeding the enemy.
Oh, and by the way, LordMichael thinks it’s outrageous that feminist women (allegedly) persecute other women for shaving their legs.
I’ve talked to a few women who still shave their legs, and compliment them on it, and they nearly break down in tears because they get criticized from their feminazi friends for doing it, but then me, a man, comes along and says it’s a beautiful thing to do… it really kinda just breaks my heart sometimes, to see the state of things.
Truly heartbreaking, Now back to Star Wars.
So this Star Wars thing… The fact is, to me, what this whole thing comes off as… is NOT an attempt to be mature… to truly embrace an enlightened mind about diversity. Diversity should come from the creative mind, saying “let’s just add a ratio of different colored human beings into the mix, because it’s normal to do so, and it shows the variety of the culture.” What it comes off as is “patronizing” which to me, is just a subtle form of racism and sexism, but since it serves the little white girls “princess complex” and the black dudes “I got that big dick” complex, nobody gives a fuck.
Dude, you are literally the only person talking about giant black dicks here.
But I dunno, man… I’m tempted to not even watch the Star Wars movie because of it. It’s just getting too much for me sometimes.
Truly, it is the white man’s burden.
H/T — Ratgoddess
Thanks Alan and EJ! I couldn’t decipher it in that 3edgy5me-speak, and my brain automatically went elsewhere.
I love the irony that the self-styled NRA “freedom lovers” who brandish this line are quoting the absolute ruler of one of the most rigid military states in history, one in which the individual had virtually no rights, all able-bodied men had to obey the strict will of the leaders, and a massive population (the Helots) was completely subjugated and kept in slavery. Sparta wasn’t exactly a bastion of freedom.
It’s about what you’d expect from people who get their knowledge of history from graphic novels.
These people constantly assume there is tokenism in the casting of women and minorities, when there are hundreds of possible other reasons!
I wonder if they recognise their racist and sexist arguments are so full of holes they could be used as sieves, or are too ridiculous to notice. (I’d imagine the second option- they really don’t seem that bright. They never do!)
@ Neurite
This OP guy certainly seems driven by feelings of sexual inadequacy.
@ Buttercup
The irony of course being that one of the many interpretations of ‘300’ is that it’s a commentary on propaganda and demonising an enemy for political purposes (bearing in mind everything in the film is merely what we’re told by someone trying to whip up enthusiasm for a battle)
@Alan – When 300 came out, it was immediately co-opted by the right wing in the US as a proxy for the Iraq conflict. The irony being, of course, that the US had a lot more in common with the Persians (numerically superior force attacking a sovereign country on its own soil, etc.) That didn’t really fit in with their glorious narrative of America as the Brave Underdog Defender, though, especially since the Persians were depicted as degenerates led by an effeminate, bling-loving king. Propaganda indeed.
@ Buttercup
Yeah, it’s weird how people missed the parallels of a smaller force applying asymmetrical warfare and terror against a numerically and technologically superior enemy.
But the film is full of subtlety as well as the great action pieces and dialogue. For example, should we raise an eyebrow at Sparta’s description of the Persians as ‘Boy lovers” or do we recognise that doublespeak has been around for a very long time?
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:
I wouldn’t be surprised if Frank Miller interpreted it that way either. The man is… interesting… politically.
I’ve seen a lot of bizarre rants here, and elsewhere. I thought the last manospherian film related rant over Mad Max laughable – but this has gone to a whole new level several orders of magnitude beyond.
It is utterly inexplicable. Not only from the penis size obsession, but the extrapolation of that from the simple inclusion of a black actor in the film.
It ought to be funny – but it is so completely outer edges of the galaxy weird, that it just results in a huge “WTF?” and I’m sitting here with #BemusedFace
Really? That’s a thing?
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^YES. Thank you.
I’m sorry, but it’s an insult to Vogon poetry to even make that comparison.
I wonder what Walter thinks?
Wow. Well that was different. Nothing profound to add just to note I don’t think about my own penis as much as this guy does when thinking about other Men’s dicks.
I’ve been gay a long time, and the unpleasant man who wrote that spittle-flecked screed thinks about penises more than I *ever* did.
It’s disturbing, in a disturbing way.
I wouldn’t be surprised if that nimrod really has a weenie like GG Allin.
Also, to hear these guys talk, you’d think that Princess Leia and Lando Calrissian never existed.
More white male tears are on the way. It looks like there’s going to be a feeemale Mummy.
http://io9.com/universals-mummy-reboot-may-have-found-its-mummy-1746951700
Head to toe bandages aren’t even a boner pleasing outfit. The horror!
Oh boy! This is gonna be a good one!
Also, I chuckled at “Moron Lube”. Personally, I think it describes that guy better (considering his weird penis obsession).
Guys, can I make a one-way trip to Pandora… I think I’d rather live with the Na’vi than on the same planet with these guys.
I mean, from what I can tell, the Star Wars franchise always had a mixed cast. I mean should I really care about what the gender or skin color is of someone who’s trying to help me when I’m trying to avoid being shot at by Storm Troopers and Imperial Droids (granted, they never hit anything, but still,there’s always that chance that they will)?
Aww, he changed his name and hid his dick pics. Too bad the linked thread will stay there unless he’s buds with a mod.
Does anything MRAs write make any sense? It’s always silliness. If he doesn’t want to watch the new Star Wars movie, he just shouldn’t watch it. A few Black actors in your fave movie shouldn’t lead to ranting and raving.
Kudos to movie directors for choosing actors who reflect the diversity of the audience. Tough luck to racists. They’ve already lost.
“…how the hell does a message self-flagellate?”
The correct term is “flogged,” as in: “…the political ‘you go gurrrrl’ message that’s being flogged everywhere.” (I don’t agree with the sentiment, but that’s the way it ought to be expressed.)
Idiomatically, “to flog” means “to publicize aggressively.” It’s not exactly urban slang, but neither is it obsolete. It’s hard to believe a Dom wouldn’t already know this. They’re usually so well-educated. (Well-read, too.)
@Gaebolga
It’s really a thing. My work frequently brings me into contact with members of the Nation of Gods and Earths and similar organizations. It’s not rare (though not exactly common) to hear people express those types of beliefs.
It’s not really all that different from the claims of transphobic feminists like Z Budapest (that I won’t repeat here unless people really want to know. It’s pretty gross).
@Gaebolga
You better watch out, Marty. When I start posting over 88 miles an hour, you’re gonna see some serious shit.
http://s22.postimg.org/ul8qhs8td/10422911_969111203133185_6533419771756340196_n.jpg
This is the commonly posted meme about the White Suicide Bomber.
Here’s some more assorted wackiness.’
http://s22.postimg.org/augibwz35/11258370_986968278014144_51966585979302484_n.jpg
While this meme makes some sense, regardless of who teaches you mathematics and science, it is generally going to be the same. 2+2 doesn’t stop being 4 merely because a black person is teaching other black people about it.
Moving on:
http://s22.postimg.org/gc93zpuap/11701037_1013282772049361_5218479300668091919_n.jpg
http://s22.postimg.org/qnlgsdm01/12106701_10153252948099366_1018786555952473415_n.jpg
http://s22.postimg.org/tlifm2tnl/12109156_1070392633005041_3194878620806821067_n.jpg
http://s22.postimg.org/l1z1oblb5/12313872_1094495570594747_3964984814933507659_n.jpg
http://s22.postimg.org/opesudti9/12316275_1094495550594749_6310629406177243015_n.jpg
BRB, activating my Melanin superpower and flying into orbit.
@Maistrechat
Let’s not forget those wacky 5%ers who believe that a black African scientist with a large head – again, not making this up – named Yakub created white people in a lab.
While that idea is totally awesome, and I confess that it sounds radical and amazing, it’s also probably not true.
It would be awesome if it was, though! I wish there was an HBO Original Series about Yakub. I’m sure all of you, including myself, would watch it.
Why is this pissbaby talking about his childhood that he clearly never left? Well manbaby, get used to it as I’m sure there will be more women and people of color to come in future films. Don’t like it? Tough shit.
I hear the term “self-flagellation” and religious types who whip themselves as a penance comes to mind.