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Among his likes: Erotic wrestling, male authority, maroon berets. Among his dislikes: women and black guys playing prominent roles in Star Wars movies.
Over on FetLife, the kinky social networking site, a fellow called LordMichael lays out his objections to the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens. There are three of them: The character Daisy Ridley, that black stormtrooper dude, and that black stormtrooper dude’s penis.
Oh, LordMichael insists he has no trouble “with having a diverse cast.” What bothers him, he says, is
the reason why they are there… the political “you go gurrrrl” message that’s being self flagellated everywhere.
For LordMichael, a self-described “Dominant Sadist,” the idea of a woman as a protagonist in Star Wars is
like taking a symbol of something from my childhood that I looked up to, that helped to shape the kind of person I am today, and smearing it up with menstrual blood marks.
Do you not remember a character by the name of Princess Leia? You know, who went around shooting people with blasters and stuff?
Well, never mind, because LordMichael has moved on to the black stormtrooper, who stirs up some, er, complicated feelings about race and, well, penis size.
This has a very big [Big Black Cock] Cuckold in your face feel to it as well… as the political insult to being male, and white (being black somehow excludes you from the whole being a male thing) continues to be an omnipresent smear throughout so much of the media lately.
LordMichael is especially concerned that by casting a black man as a stormtrooper, in a film that at no point will put anyone’s penis on display, director J.J. Abrams is somehow contributing to the popular perception that black men have bigger penises than their white counterparts. And this is a grave injustice to white dudes like LordMichael whose penises are actually plenty big, you better believe it.
No, this really is LordMichael’s main objection to the new Star Wars. Let’s let him explain;
I hear this statement said so often, any time I hear something regarding cock size “if his dick is big, it must mean he is black right?”
I’ve seen plenty of male penises, if only for the fact that I’ve been in sports teams, in the military, and I used to frequent the YMCA back when I could still run on a treadmill, and let me tell you, black people do not have any bigger cocks than white dudes.
In addition to conducting surreptitious penis size research in YMCA locker rooms, LordMichael apparently discusses the matter fairly regularly with men of color.
I’ve even had arguments against a couple particularly self absorbed young punks I could remember that said “I could get bitches better than you because my dick is bigger.” After asking them how big their dick is they said “9 inches bruh!” rolls eyes Please, mother fucker. It ain’t 9 inches. Realistically speaking, less than 1 in a hundred people have a cock larger than 7.5 inches, yet EVERYONE’S got a 9 in their pocket… I mean… come on??
In case you’re wondering, LordMichael’s dingle dangle is nothing to sneeze at:
My cock actually IS 7 inches, and people have a hard time believing me when I say that… which I don’t get. I’m white, which must mean I’ve got to have a 5 inch cock… and don’t tell me that cock size doesn’t matter.
Hell, penis-size-wise, LordMichael’s pink oboe is pretty much perfect, and by “perfect” he means it’s big enough to cause internal bruising, allegedly.
And besides, anything larger than 7 inches starts to become painful for the woman. Even my wife has difficulty with it at times, and starts to feel sick to her stomach from the internal bruising… and I’m not trying to brag by any means, I’m just trying to understand why this dialogue is even necessary.
Weird, because I’m also trying to understand why this dialogue is necessary, especially since we’re supposedly talking about Star Wars, a series of films that has at no point ever featured anyone’s penis.
This whole propagandizing and emasculating white men is just stupid as fuck. I’ve never been a particularly racist or sexist person… UP UNTIL women, and black men, started shoving this crap in my face on a regular basis, and now I’ve got “battered dog” conditioning starting to take place in my head.
Clearly, a white dude whose first reaction to seeing a black stormtrooper in a Star Wars trailer is DON’T CUCKOLD ME WITH YOUR BIG BLACK COCK AND BY THE WAY MY COCK IS PRETTY BIG REALLY IT’S PRETTY MUCH THE PERFECT SIZE was only driven to racism by having big black cocks shoved in his face, figuratively speaking.
So anyway… these punks are starting to believe that their cocks are larger than life because of the mind rot we see in the movies. They are basically selling out to the reverse racism because it suits them, which only lowers my sympathy for them, and then there’s the “little white girl” syndrome that has daddy issues so hard that she has to find the biggest, most belligerent black man she can find to feel as infantalized as she wants to be… without the consequences of having it happen with a “white man” (I mean, UGH! Right?) Because then she’s just feeding the enemy.
Oh, and by the way, LordMichael thinks it’s outrageous that feminist women (allegedly) persecute other women for shaving their legs.
I’ve talked to a few women who still shave their legs, and compliment them on it, and they nearly break down in tears because they get criticized from their feminazi friends for doing it, but then me, a man, comes along and says it’s a beautiful thing to do… it really kinda just breaks my heart sometimes, to see the state of things.
Truly heartbreaking, Now back to Star Wars.
So this Star Wars thing… The fact is, to me, what this whole thing comes off as… is NOT an attempt to be mature… to truly embrace an enlightened mind about diversity. Diversity should come from the creative mind, saying “let’s just add a ratio of different colored human beings into the mix, because it’s normal to do so, and it shows the variety of the culture.” What it comes off as is “patronizing” which to me, is just a subtle form of racism and sexism, but since it serves the little white girls “princess complex” and the black dudes “I got that big dick” complex, nobody gives a fuck.
Dude, you are literally the only person talking about giant black dicks here.
But I dunno, man… I’m tempted to not even watch the Star Wars movie because of it. It’s just getting too much for me sometimes.
Truly, it is the white man’s burden.
H/T — Ratgoddess
“Dude, you are literally the only person talking about giant black dicks here” is going to be my new response to everything my friends say in public, in the hope that it will at least occasionally be overheard by passing strangers. So thank you for that.
I wasn’t racist or sexist until women and minorities started existing in public!
I would find this loser, figuratively puking out his issues, without a single hint of self-awareness, in a public forum no less, absolutely hilarious if not for his insipid racism and misogyny. How does one end up with such a completely warped perspective on a simple movie? (Which I cannot wait to see. Yay Star Wars!)
Im calling shenanigans on his entire supposed personal life. I dont think women are crying sbout big bad hairy feminazi bullying, I got bullied for having hair, I have never seen a woman bully another for shaving, I dont think this dude lives, works, or works out anywhere near anyone whose skin tone cant be described as “snow-like”, and I dont believe he has a wife who suffers through his large penis (just rapey and disgusting, that little “Im so big it hurts” fantasy). I dont even believe he has actually seen a Star Wars movie.
I hope he and all the other bigots do boycott the new Star Wars, I don’t want to be in a crowded movie theater with those assholes.
I definitely believe that this is a real conversation that definitely happened. The only thing that definitely happened more than that is this:
They broke down in tears. Tears! Because he, a man, spoke to them with his heavenly man voice of man reason.
I wasn’t racist and sexist. Until women and black men got all uppity and forgot their place!
Huh? I don’t doubt that there are feminist women out there – probably most often young women who just discovered feminism – that give women a hard time for shaving their body hair. But it is seriously not that common. I’m a feminist and I shave my legs when I haven’t gotten lazy about it in the winter. Nobody has ever given me a hard time about it. Usually when I see it discussed among feminists online the conversation is more about the internal struggle we feel when we make the choice to conform to a conventional beauty standard than it is about judging other’s choices
I have met exactly zero black men who constantly boast about their big black dicks. Every time I hear or see the topic mentioned, it’s been raised by a white person. Usually a white man.
Has anyone involved in The Force Awakens stated that they were specifically looking to cast a black man as the star? Or did they just like John Boyega? Not that it would be a problem if they did do that, it’s just that racists and misogynists always seem to assume that women or POC are hired for something because of political correctness. It never seems to occur to them that maybe a white male candidate wasn’t the best one.
Shorter LordMichael: “I am obsessed with black men’s penises. That is all.”
…I have had many feelings watching Star Wars movies, but not ONCE has my overriding feeling been “OMG what about that stormtrooper’s penis???” I can’t even…HOW IS THIS A THING???
Also, as someone who, in my professional life, sees a LOT of penises (seriously…a LOT) race=/= penis size…but Ive only EVER (EVER!!!!!) had white guys ask me about 1. penis sizes I have seen and 2. how “other races” compare.
((full disclosure: I am a short cisgendered Translucent American female in a stereotypically female profession, albiet in a super prestigious role…and they still want to ask me about other guys penises. ::sigh:: ))
as a black man, I wasn’t aware white men thought about the penis of me and my brethren this much
I’m not sure if I should be worried or flattered
David, just wanted to say that that sentence is a thing of beauty.
Huh, Fetlife didn’t strike me as a website that would be big with white supremacists.
Once again, I know where to get 13 inch rainbow dragon penises. I find it hard to be impressed by actual human dicks these days.
Right, yep, totally believe that.
I think the best part is where he starts talking about how his own penis is TOTALLY ADEQUATE YO! FOR REALS! WOMEN LIKE IT!
isn’t Daisy Ridley the actor, not the character?
Countdown until Walter shows up? It’s 9:22 blog time, I’ll give it until midnight. Not putting money on it cuz I’m taking a cat to the vet for possibly the first time in her life tomorrow and I feel that’s punishment enough!
On topic — seriously, dude, it’s FetLife, they either want to talk Star Wars, or about dicks, usually not both at once!
So am I, creepo…so. am. I.
(And yeah, totally not trying to brag about how badly you injure your wife during sex. Classy.)
I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let’s see how you use it.
This is the worst thing. Every part of it is the worst. My eyes want to crawl out of my skull after reading that.
Dude have you tried not regularly bruising your wife’s internal organs? Like what the fuck.
Viscaria: are you kidding? He probably gets off on it.
To be blunt, I’m a gay white man married to a bisexual Black man, and I don’t think about big Black cocks nearly as much as the OP.
Granted, that’s a low bar to clear.
Lol, I was just thinking is Walter was gonna come into this thread.
We just need to understand that the only correct kind of movie is the kind that features only white males in talking roles. The eye candy chick can have one line if needed, and it’s to be something in the lines of ‘You’re my hero! Take me now!”
Also, no minorities unless they are non-threatening supporting characters / joke factories with no character background, because then they can be imagined having nothing that the white male viewer doesn’t have.
Anything else is beating LordMichael like a dog, and like a dog he will show his teeth after being bombarded with such vile attacks by people who need to know their place.
Or maybe he is just a fan of classical theatre, from the times when only men were allowed on stage to interpret every role, including women. Yeah, maybe they should digitally remaster the original Star Wars to erase Leia’s uppity scenes and paste in Gary Oldman in a wig.
Why Gary Oldman? I dunno, I just fancy seeing him with buns, dressed in all white.
As the other black man who posts on WHTM, I must confess that I only talk about my penis in an entirely joking context, and that I have never engaged random strangers in dialogue about my penis.
Also, it sounds to me like this guy is gay and deeply in denial about lots of things.
I hope that he eventually comes out as a beautiful little girl who likes big black cocks, and makes himself and a lot of black men very happy.
@Mat
You’re sadly behind the curve, comrade. There is an entire fetish subculture packed to the gills with white men who are absolutely obsessed with the penises of black males – and the funny, screamingly hilarious part is that they profess to be straight.
I am bisexual, and even I am overwhelmed by how gay they are. It’s like having a My Little Pony unicorn barfing rainbows directly into my eyes.
Did you know that there are white men who pay black men to have sex with their wives? I’m not even making this up.
Me, personally, I would never do it – not even for $1M – because I’m afraid that the white man might cut me open from stem to stern, like that ol’ Jeffrey Dahmer dude used to do to men he picked up.
I was almost thinking that this guy WAS Walter, but I don’t think Walter had much in the way of racist talking points, actually.
They must just belong to the same club of ‘People Taking Every Opportunity To Scope Out Other Dudes Wangs – In Innocuous Places Like Bathrooms And Gym Showers, Of Course, No Homo Bro’, or PTEOTSOODW-IIPBAGSOCNHB, for short. Their membership bonus includes the ability to know a man’s erect size just from a glance at a penis at rest! Incredible.