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Worried about your penis size? Blame feminism, MGTOW explains

Not everyone has a giant wiener
Not everyone has a giant wiener

The Great Penis Size Freakout Debate continues. On the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, one of the regulars has dug up a Youtube video from a random woman who doesn’t like small dicks.

Never mind that men worry a lot more about the size of their dicks than women do — hell, one survey found that women tend to be far more concerned with proper pubic-hair grooming  than the length of their partner’s dingle dangles. Reddit’s MGTOW army saw this video as an example of rare female honesty on this perilous topic.

“[T]his is just proof if you’re not above average you are nothing,” one Reddit MGTOW moaned.

[I]f she complains and you aren’t small, next the bitch, she’s either got something wrong with her pussy or she got her head filled with some of her girl group bullshit, and it’s not worth the trouble.

Naturally, it didn’t take long for someone to blame feminism for the size queens of the world. ShitfacedBatman reassured his fellow MGTOWs that only sluts and feminists complain about small penises.

Date short and cute feminine women and you’ll never need to worry about your penis size. Date a woman prone to getting FAT, a woman close to your height, a woman with a big-ass ass, or a sex-industry woman who’s been cored out a few times and it’s “possible” size is a factor in those cases.

You know, women being “cored out” by large penises isn’t actually a thing. The sturdy vagina can recover from childbirth, and there aren’t really a lot of men out there whose penises are literally larger than a baby.

But, as ShitfacedBatman sees it, size queens are only lashing out because they are losers in the “tight vagina” contest that apparently all women are competing in.

Here’s the dealio tho: women that say size matters are saying they have sexual liabilities. To be submissive, pretty, and feminine is actually a competitive sport racing towards female smallness. Women by nature should be competing to be small, tight, and “innocent” – which means size should never matter and if it does it’s her problem. (Western feminism producing masculine women is incredibly likely to be at the root of the problem.)

Apparently the most “masculine women” are the ones with huge vaginas.

I think the whole “huge vagina” argument made a lot more sense when Larry David explained it on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

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Kale
8 years ago

“No seriously you guys, you may think no one cares about dick size because everyone wears pants almost all the time, its not like you shower together in locker rooms before job interviews, but just try walking around with your small dick hanging out of your pants all day, you should see the looks I get!”

cmon this guy is obviously the trolliest troll that ever trolled.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
8 years ago

Before reading the comments I was blissfully ignorant of the idea that being overweight would make one’s vagina somehow loose. I just assumed they’d think it would be harder to get at, and that would call for a bigger (or at least longer) penis.

This may all have been because of the phrase “big-ass ass”, which made me imagine a condition of having such shapely buttocks that would make one virtually unapproachable.

Moocow
Moocow
8 years ago

The beacon was activated. What seems to be the problem? Oh, holy shit Walter’s still waving his dick around. Hah.

Dear Walter,

I thereby release you from the control of your cock-sized obsession. As the superior penis and mayunliest mayun who ever mayuned, you must submit.

Sincerely,
Lord Hardon

Oh yeah, and there’s one more thing…

THE FOLLOWING WAS RATED “TMI” FOR KINKY ADVENTURES:

I was at a kink party last night, where I got dressed up by my friend in a dress with lacy panties, stockings, garters and a bra. Gender play is (one of) my kinks 😛

The irony is too delicious for me to not mention this

ultimateprotagonistnerd

@Leda

Well, after reading his nonsense all I can say is that I won’t be able to forget Walter from this point forward…

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
8 years ago
Ellesar
Ellesar
8 years ago

I am surprised that no one has pointed out to Walter the perspective of the Ancient Greeks:

“In Ancient Greece and various vassals of the Greek city states an uncircumcised, small penis was seen as a sign of nobility and cultural superiority, whereas a penis of a bigger size was regarded as vulgar and inappropriate, mostly associated with barbarian culture (this may have been because many barbarians surrounding Greece whom had raided and warred with Greece had demonstrated their penis worship and such practices were therefore a sign of barbarism and cultural vacuum in the eyes of the Greeks).
Greek culture has left a legacy in terms of portraying penis size as small in art. Although Greeks have demonstrated an interest in the genitals, but they were not preoccupied with size. This coincides with the nature of the Greek art as Greeks considered a large phallus to be humorous, and their art was supposed to be austere. In the arts, small penis identified the ideal or intellectual aspect of the human male, whilst in theatre for example, the person playing the “fool” role wore something like an oversized phallus to indicate his stupidity, the idea being he was therefore closer to animals and less human than his opponent.”

katz
8 years ago

I still haven’t forgiven Walter for referring to it as a “dingaling” in the other thread and getting that godawful Chuck Berry song stuck in my head.

Oh good, I’m not the only one. We should just make that his official theme song.

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

There are too many responses for me to respond to all at once, so I’m going to just give a general response.

I think it’s sad that so many of you are just automatically dismissing the idea of the cockocracy. It’s not a perfect idea and will have to work out its kinks, but it’s better than what we have now! Crime will decrease, racism will disappear and the rights for women will skyrocket.

Among men, the ding-a-ling is king. That’s just a fact. The only people who disagree with that are women and some men who have large penis privilege. Of course moocow is better than me because he has a large penis, but he’s forgetting his large penis privilege. Check your privilege moocow.

SpleenyBadger
SpleenyBadger
8 years ago

That line about being small, tight and innocent actually made me want to vomit. I mean, my stomach actually flip-flopped. Dammit… when will I learn to NOT read this page while I’m eating breakfast??

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
8 years ago

MY DINALING
MY DINGALING
I WANNA PLAY WITH MY DINGALINGALING

dhag85
8 years ago

I think it’s sad that so many of you are just automatically dismissing the idea of the cockocracy. It’s not a perfect idea and will have to work out its kinks

Its kinks? The whole fucking thing is a kink.

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

dhag85

This system has nothing to do with kinks or fetishes. It’s about making a perfect world.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

I’ve been trying rather unsuccessfully to come up with my own rendition of “She’ll be coming ’round the mountain” and the only versions I know besides the original are thoroughly inappropriate at best, vulgarly repulsive at worst…:P

Walter, can’t you find a group of femdoms who would be willing to put you in your place for having a tiny useless penis or something? I don’t think anyone here is going to concede to your fantasy idea of a cockocracy somehow being a laudable plan, nor help you find a way to make it happen. Just put your dick away, maybe find somewhere else that you can rock out with your cock out in the meantime.

Dawn Incognito
8 years ago

Of course moocow is better than me because he has a large penis, but he’s forgetting his large penis privilege. Check your privilege moocow.

For this and the term “cockocracy” I thank you, Walter. You have given me a smile on this drab dreary day. Perhaps you can be a small-penised jester in the Cocktopia.

Bryce
Bryce
8 years ago

Penises are ugly as all hell. I’ve no idea how straight women can bear having anything to do with them. Walter, that was almost amusing btw.

Bryce
Bryce
8 years ago

*bare it

Last thing we want to do is look at other men and compare (and in what circumstances would that be possible?)

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
8 years ago

Walter reminds me a bit of a troll I encountered on Pandagon a few years ago. He insisted that women were oppressing men because supposedly A) women can only become interested in a man if they can see his genitals through his clothes a B) because of this, men cannot wear skirts. Like, he went on and on and on about this goofy theory. I suggested wearing a cute, snug-fitting pencil skirt.

dhag85
8 years ago
Walter
Walter
8 years ago

dhag85

I’m not gay, so I have no interest in your link.

Orion
8 years ago

Honestly, I’m with the people who said Walter is probably MRAL.

dhag85
8 years ago

Never said you were. But you are obsessing over penises and their relative sizes. This tumblr seems like it would be right up your alley. I assumed it was your own blog actually.

Newt
Newt
8 years ago

Walter’s becoming like Chaucer Conspiracy Generator now. He realises that he’s not fooling anyone, but he’s still sticking to the formula.

My recommendation for Troll of the Year would have been “how do adjectives work? I made a meme”, but it turns out that was last year.

Oh well, work with what you’ve got. How’s your pole, Walter?

Drezden
Drezden
8 years ago

All right, I’m curious.

Walter, in this scheme of yours would you be controlled or controlling?

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

Drezden

In my scheme, I would definitely be on the bottom.

Drezden
Drezden
8 years ago

Well then. Since you have put forth that those on the bottom are the font of all bad ideas, I’m afraid we must summarily dismiss your scheme as a bad idea on those grounds alone.

Thanks for playing Walter

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