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Worried about your penis size? Blame feminism, MGTOW explains

Not everyone has a giant wiener
Not everyone has a giant wiener

The Great Penis Size Freakout Debate continues. On the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, one of the regulars has dug up a Youtube video from a random woman who doesn’t like small dicks.

Never mind that men worry a lot more about the size of their dicks than women do — hell, one survey found that women tend to be far more concerned with proper pubic-hair grooming  than the length of their partner’s dingle dangles. Reddit’s MGTOW army saw this video as an example of rare female honesty on this perilous topic.

“[T]his is just proof if you’re not above average you are nothing,” one Reddit MGTOW moaned.

[I]f she complains and you aren’t small, next the bitch, she’s either got something wrong with her pussy or she got her head filled with some of her girl group bullshit, and it’s not worth the trouble.

Naturally, it didn’t take long for someone to blame feminism for the size queens of the world. ShitfacedBatman reassured his fellow MGTOWs that only sluts and feminists complain about small penises.

Date short and cute feminine women and you’ll never need to worry about your penis size. Date a woman prone to getting FAT, a woman close to your height, a woman with a big-ass ass, or a sex-industry woman who’s been cored out a few times and it’s “possible” size is a factor in those cases.

You know, women being “cored out” by large penises isn’t actually a thing. The sturdy vagina can recover from childbirth, and there aren’t really a lot of men out there whose penises are literally larger than a baby.

But, as ShitfacedBatman sees it, size queens are only lashing out because they are losers in the “tight vagina” contest that apparently all women are competing in.

Here’s the dealio tho: women that say size matters are saying they have sexual liabilities. To be submissive, pretty, and feminine is actually a competitive sport racing towards female smallness. Women by nature should be competing to be small, tight, and “innocent” – which means size should never matter and if it does it’s her problem. (Western feminism producing masculine women is incredibly likely to be at the root of the problem.)

Apparently the most “masculine women” are the ones with huge vaginas.

I think the whole “huge vagina” argument made a lot more sense when Larry David explained it on Curb Your Enthusiasm.

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A. Noyd
A. Noyd
8 years ago

“Women by nature should be competing to be small, tight, and ‘innocent’”

Yes, nature should totally serve some idiotic, culturally-ingrained fetish prized by the sort of insecure manbabies women don’t even want to fuck. That is absolutely Logical™ and Objective™.

Mewens
Mewens
8 years ago

Meanwhile, obsession over breast size is normal, healthy and clearly not the result of any cultural indoctrination.

(Or, as demonstrated by these chuckleheads, fixation on vaginal size.)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Walter’s back!

You never did tell me how your theory could be not transphobic when it depends entirely on linking anatomy to gender.

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

I hoped the comment eating mammoth would’ve been slain along with the blockquote mammoth. But apparently not?

Anyway, the short version of the comment I just tried to make; does anyone else think tonight’s Doctor Who indicated that it’s possible the next iteration of the Doctor could be played by a woman?

Or am I reading too much into it?

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

Argenti Aertheri

I’m talking about sex not gender. I know my use of a gender term like masculine makes that impossible to tell, and I apologize for that, but I’m talking specifically about sex and not gender.

Tessa
8 years ago

Walter:

A man’s value is determined by his penis size. This value has nothing to do with women though. It’s more about showing superior masculinity and manliness in order to establish the proper pecking order between men.

Yeah, you’ve said this before. But how many penises does the average man see vs the number of men they come in contact with? Since, this has nothing to do with pleasing women, and exclusively about what other men think about you, how can this establish any sort of pecking order among men in their every day life? It’s just so arbitrary.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
8 years ago

Well, of course a man’s value is determined by his penis size. The bigger the penis, the better it is for killing spiders! *thwumpsplat*

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

Tessa

You can see penises in the locker room and other areas. I think that what needs to happen is that there needs to be a penis size database with all the size of all men in the country.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

The only way a dick size database would be at all useful is if there were fair and impartial individuals taking ALL the measurements and then entering them into the database.

Fair and impartial individuals would probably have to not be Walter. 😉

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
8 years ago

Walter, are you still going on about this?

Seriously?

Dude, it’s a really stinking terrible plan to base the relative value of men on any single trait. If you insist on doing so, then that makes you part of the precipitate… And not the solution.

Also, for the love of all that is good, don’t tell us any more about either your dreams or your boner.

katz
8 years ago

Also, for the love of all that is good, don’t tell us any more about either your dreams or your boner.

But but but what else does he have to talk about? He thinks about literally nothing except other men’s penises.

Olive O'Sudden
Olive O'Sudden
8 years ago

@msexceptiontotherule

How long have women been waiting for their ‘little blue pill’-comparable option?

The only thing comparable to the ‘little blue pill’ for women would be a pill that causes vaginal lubrication and increased blood flow to the genitals. Erection pills don’t induce arousal in men, they just induce erections. Women may experience lowered sexual interest because of lower testosterone levels (as will men if their levels are too low), but for most women, a lack of interest in sex with their partner is caused by stress, fatigue, interpersonal conflict, believing (or having a partner who believes) that sex always means PIV coitus, or fundamental sexual incompatibility..

jy3
jy3
8 years ago

@Patrick O., Nequam

Here you go.

Lady Mondegreen
Lady Mondegreen
8 years ago

@Leda Atomica

*nudge nudge, wink wink*

@Lindsay Irene

Well, of course a man’s value is determined by his penis size. The bigger the penis, the better it is for killing spiders! *thwumpsplat*

Gigglesnort

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

msexceptiontotherule

All measurements would have to be taken by impartial judges. This is just common sense.

Contrapangloss

I’ve been “going on” about this years. I have the entire system worked out. It would sole a lot of problems, including the MRA/manosphere issue, if it was implemented.

I assume that you’re a woman, if so I can understand why you don’t think it’s a good idea to judge someone based off of a single trait. Women are complicated. They have thoughts and feelings and value beyond just their vagina and breasts. In fact a woman’s vagina/boobs have nothing to do with her value as a human being. Absolutely nothing! Coming from that kind of perspective, I can understand why you think my idea is silly, but you have to look at things from the perspective of man. A man’s value is intrinsically tied to his dick.

It’s like the two sayings, “the dick makes the man” and “the dick is the man.” Everything a man is of value comes from his dick. In a very real sense, all men are just life support systems for their dicks.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Walter —

I’m talking about sex not gender. I know my use of a gender term like masculine makes that impossible to tell, and I apologize for that, but I’m talking specifically about sex and not gender.

So a trans women who hasn’t had bottom surgery and is, for whatever reason, in a location where you can see her penis is part of your little “biggest dick = most manly” nonsense? Yes? So a (trans) woman could be more masculine than a (cis) man, and you cannot fathom why we’re saying this is transphobic?

WWTH — that’s always been a possibility, and Missy cemented that. Whether it’ll actually happen… odds are against it, but hey,

SPOILER ALERT
an immortal woman and a woman locked in her last breath are running around in a stolen TARDIS that looks like a diner so who knows!

Paradoxical Intention
8 years ago

Holy shit, Walter. I have never heard a more hateful statement about men in my life.

“Men are just life support systems for their dicks” is really fucking rude, brah, and I’d like to think that men are human beings, not just walking cocks.

http://icons-ak.wunderground.com/data/wximagenew/l/llpj04/7064.gif

(Pictured, a cock walking in slow motion)

Men are just as complex and emotional as women are. And the idea of men just being “walking cocks with bodies attached” is so fucking toxic. I can’t believe you’re trying to peddle this here in hopes we’d somehow agree with this bullshit if you repeated it long enough.

This is toxic as hell. Men are human beings too, and they have “value” beyond the size of their dicks, man. I know you don’t see it that way, and that’s really fucking sad, but it’s true.

There are men in this very comments section who have disagreed with you and your “Men only value dick size for pecking order!” bullshit.

Stop with your fantasies. We don’t want to know about them.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
8 years ago

Okay, Walter, you’re piling on the trolling a BIT too much. Like, pull back, make a u-turn. No one really thinks a person’s worth is boiled down to their genitals…well, like, decent human beings at least.

Simmer down there.

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

Paradoxical Intention

It’s not a fantasy, it’s the truth.

I know some men here have disagreed with what I’ve written. They are just delusional and have believed the lies told to them by the media and society. I personally think it’s sad that they disagree with me, because they can never truly be happy until they accept that they have no purpose beyond sustaining the precious organ between their legs.

For thousands of years we’ve pretended that men have value beyond their dicks, and look at where it’s gotten us! War, environmental devastation and the list of horrors go on and on. These tragedies happen because men think our ideas matter. We think we matter. We don’t. Our dicks matter and that’s all.

You seem to be an egalitarian. You believe in equality between all people, right? That’s a noble idea and one that I respect, but it’s just not true when it comes to those of us born with male genitalia.

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns)
8 years ago

Okay, seriously, jesus christ, you’re giving size queens a bad name here.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Equality among people! Except those assigned male at birth! It’s not transphobic! Penis is truth!

Poe’s Law is embodied in Walter.

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
8 years ago

With everybody saying Walter’s name, I have a Kinks earworm.

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
8 years ago

Walter, freaking heck dude.

And people accuse us of misandry!

I’ve been “going on” about this years. I have the entire system worked out. It would sole a lot of problems, including the MRA/manosphere issue, if it was implemented.

Citation needed. Citation totally and completely needed. Because forgive me, but I only see this making things way more complicated. Especially as plastic surgery options get better and better

I assume that you’re a woman,

Would your assumption suddenly change if I told you I was a Math Specialist, biology graduate, Firefighter/EMT-2, and accepted into a mechanical engineering program?

Just out of pure curiousity, of course.

Also, I was born sans penis, which I think is the real question you’re asking.

That said, my objections to your premise are not born out of being a complicated lady thing.

if so I can understand why you don’t think it’s a good idea to judge someone based off of a single trait.

THEY’RE BORN OUT OF MY BIOLOGY DEGREE.

Seriously? Humans (both male and female) are complicated. If you’re sure you’re nothing but a wandering set of reproductive organs, then I must assume you’re a reincarnated male anglerfish.

Also, I never majored in antropology, but I had to endure quite a few psych and history classes.

Wherein, oddly enough, there were a few civilizations that lasted quite a bit of time (longer than America has even existed, in fact) that weren’t obsessed with relative sizes.

Women are complicated. They have thoughts and feelings and value beyond just their vagina and breasts.

Aaand, there it is. Women aren’t magical complicated things. I know a lot of women and I know a lot of men. Some people are straightforward, some people are complicated. The most complicated person I know is a dude.

Men can be complicated. Men can be creative. Men can be blunt. Men can be super suave.

Ditto for women.

Knock off your gender existentialist BS.

In fact a woman’s vagina/boobs have nothing to do with her value as a human being. Absolutely nothing!

Geeze, thanks. Because they’re complicated. Why do you hate men so much?

Coming from that kind of perspective, I can understand why you think my idea is silly

Yes, because it’s silly. Incredibly silly. Near unfathomably dense, in fact.

but you have to look at things from the perspective of man.

Oh, really? There are men on this AND THE LAST THREAD who disagreed with you. You are not the ultimate arbiter of what men think, thank you.

I’ll admit it may seem to you like all your value is tied up in your genitalia, and you’d love to have others join you in your misery.

That doesn’t make it true.

A man’s value is intrinsically tied to his dick.

I suppose it would be pointless to ask you to find any peer reviewed scientific paper that states that the value of any given man (assuming cis, because you still haven’t said how the intrinsic value of trans men fits in this whole ridiculous scenario)

It’s like the two sayings, “the dick makes the man” and “the dick is the man.” Everything a man is of value comes from his dick. In a very real sense, all men are just life support systems for their dicks.

YOU ARE NOT A FREAKING ANGLER FISH

The value of men is determined far more by the contents of their character than by the contents of their pants.

Can I throw out some names of some super well admired men?

Salk
Darwin
Einstein
Raphael
Da’Vinci
Aristotle
Hawking

You know what doesn’t show up in the first couple second of googling?

Guesses on their penis size.

These dudes, even if they did have some incorrect ideas (because humans are complicated) are considered pretty remarkable.

Recently, the department I run with created a list of people they want to hire, in order of preference.

You know what wasn’t a requested measurement?

Penis size.

The size of your dick does not make a person a good leader, a good follower, a good parent, a good friend, or any thing else that the vast majority of society cares about.

Thus, your insistence that men need to whip out their thing and we need to have all men in a pecking order by dick size is absurd.

There are thousands of genes that create the human body, in all its complexity.

The genes that create your dick are a tiny, tiny fraction of those.

Penis size is not linked to the genes for intelligence, charisma, or anything else significant.

Don’t try and make every other man as miserable as you, by trying to convince humanity that they need to be as obsessed with your member as you are.

rugbyyogi
8 years ago

Hmmm…ok first on Walter’s ‘life support system’ theory. If anything – a man is a life support system for his testicles and the penis is just the delivery system for the products of those testicles. But the great thing about humans is that we’re not just about reproduction and we all have value beyond our reproductive abilities.

Re. vagina size. This is still a very painful topic for me. This was something that my ex told me for many years. That my vagina was too loose and thus he had no sensation. He never, for one moment, thought that there might be something wrong with his dick or more accurately his brain-dick connection. Dude was hung, too. He was big enough that entry was often painful for me. So despite the evidence of my own body, I bought into his bs and kegeled like a mad woman. I’ve come to realise that he had sensory issues. But it was much easier for him to read pseudo-science-shit based on the kama sutra plus other racist nonsense he’d read in the manosphere about racial differences in vagina sizes and then declare that any sexual disfunction in our relationship was based on something physiologically ‘wrong’ with me that was very little in my control to do anything about.

Meanwhile, I took a lover who happened to be much less well-endowed*, who has often told me how ‘tight’ I am. Same vagina. Different experiences. The main difference is that my ex was trying to find reasons not to have sex with me and had a habit of blaming others rather than try to find ways to improve the experience for himself or for me.

However I think there is something in the tightness/looseness V issue that’s actually down to overall fitness, health and muscle tone. I reckon a fit, muscular woman is going to be the most appropriately tight.
___
*and who worries about the penis size thing so, so unnecessarily. I do reckon though that he’s seen lots of other penises given that he’s played lots of sport and been in many open showers. He is genuinely concerned about this and it’s such a shame.

kiki
kiki
8 years ago

I’m just waiting for Walter to reveal that, for the low low price of $9.99 a month, he can provide a course of pills that will add 2-3 inches to your wang. It’s the only rational explanation for this (literally) bonerific obsession of his.