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“Women REALLY don’t understand dick size,” Red Pill dudes complain

Measuring things is hard.
Measuring things is hard.

Over on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit, the regulars have come up with a new thing to hate about women: their alleged ignorance about penis size.

One Red Piller by the name of rumham730 touched off a discussion on this important issue with a plaintive query: “Why the hell do so many girls think normal sized dicks are “small”?

Runham730 explains that he had just had a conversation with “this 18 yo bi girl at work” that left him fuming. After overhearing her say that “every guy I’ve been with was super small,” he asked

how small, and she responded with “idk like 5 or 6 inches.”

WHEN THE FUCK DID THE AVERAGE penis size become “super small”?

I have a 6 inch dick so yes this hurt my feelings a little bit even though this girl means nothing to me. …

It just pisses me off. The chick who said this has no tits at all, but yet if I made a comment about flat chested girls around her, you better believe I’d be considered an asshole. Yet girls can make snide remarks about “small” dicks all day long and no one bats an eye.

Well, except for the dudes who post angry rants about it online.

As it turns out, the alleged ignorance of women re dick size happens to be something of a sore point with the Ask the Red Pill regulars, many of whom have strong opinions on the matter.

StarDestinyGuy noted that

One girl I hooked up with said the last two boyfriends she had had 11″ dicks.

The odds of that are so small it’s practically 0.

They are ridiculously ignorant/oblivious on the topic of penis size.

IoSonCalaf seconded his notion:

Women really don’t understand dick size. Trust me. They have no idea what they’re talking about. Half the time they don’t even know what dress size they are

FrameWalker added

Yeah dude they don’t have any idea. Girls overestimated my size by three inches at times. I’m average. I think half inch variations feel like two inches to them.

Dude, I hate to break it to you, but those women weren’t confused or ignorant; they were being nice to you.

MightyTaint offered his own math:

Girls are dumb as hell when it comes to dick size. A guy with a 3″ will tell her it’s 5″ (just a little below average baby!). A 6″ guy will tell her it’s 8″. A 7″ guy will tell her it’s 10″.

If that girl thinks 5″ to 6″ is small, she is going to think a 7″ dick is really 10″. …

The only women who brag about fucking big dicks are whores.

InscrutablePUA delivered his verdict in the form of a numbered list:

1) They don’t know what the actual lengths and girths of the dicks they’ve had before were.

2) Level of dryness/expansion of the vagina affects how big a dick feels.

3) Girls are just lousy at estimating dick size because guys probably inflate their own dick sizes.

4) Remember that the bottom 50 perhaps 80% of men are invisible to women. If the top 20% of dick sizes are 7+ inches then that’s what they consider as ‘normal’.

Wait, what?

Since the men of the world don’t generally walk around with boners sticking out the front of their pants, how exactly can women even tell which men are in the top 20%, dick-size-wise?

MightyTaint offered a rather different assessment, arguing that a man’s alphaness matters more than his dick size.

If a guy really comes off as an alpha, she’ll convince herself his dick was twice as big as it was. It just has to be otherwise why is he so confidant? Typical rationalization.

Niczar went further, suggesting that

Dick size only matters if you’re ashamed of it. It’s always big enough when you’re making her choke on it.

Lovely.

Suck_My_Zarflog, meanwhile, reported that the gemlike hardness of his average-sized zarflog penis regularly fooled the ladies into thinking it was bugger than it really is.

My dick is average, 6.5 at most. However, I’m well known for having a huge dick because…my dick gets really hard, like really really hard. So when I’m fucking girls it feels more “intrusive” than some of the softer guys with 8″ that I’ve seen… Yes, I know this from experience 😉 Most bigger dicks can’t get as much blood into them and aren’t as hard.

awalt_cupcake raised the possibility that women today have developed an intricate dick-size-sharing network, ensuring that all women can learn in advance the penis size of any man they’re considering having sex with:

I dunno man girls lately keep tabs on guys with big dicks. How could they not? Snapchat, multi media texting to prove it, the immaturity of it all starting in highschool when Billy MonsterCockTM had sex with Sharon the captain of the cheerleading squad and she told all her friends who ended up telling the world.

But he’s come to terms with the size of his own penis:

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Unless you get surgery to make your soldier huge, you’re stuck with it. Make the foreplay and sex fun for you and it will be fun for her (unless she’s a slut) and move on with yourself.

Just remember: never get married.

Cyberdellic drew a rather different conclusion. As he sees it, his average-sized penis — “5.75 non bone pressed and 6.25 to6.5 bone pressed” — will never be enough to satisfy the shallow “hypergamous” women of the west:

we live in full hypergamy so women will literally drop the guy shes with at any moment if the next guy ‘ticks all the SAME boxes’ PLUS hes got a big dick…

this is why the words of Wu Tang ring true – lust em but never trust em

most women are evil cruel manipulative macheivellian creatures… its not entirely their fault either, media and other guys make small dick jokes constantly

ive been living MGTOW the past 6 weeks and every aspect of my life is greatly improved except im not getting laid….

so to answer your question

with the advent of tinder and women being able to get pummeled by a new dick in 30 min (24/7) women have seen a lot of dicks and want to get that ‘stretched out’ feeling that is a mix of pleasure AND pain

they like that

ill never be able to go deep or stretch them out like the other men theyve been with

the ONLY workable strategy ive come up with is to move to asia, eclusively approach tiny petite 19 yr olds whove never had foreign dick before and im trying to find a tight hole

Dude, stop worrying about your dick. Your dick is fine. It’s the person attached to your dick that’s the problem.

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autosoma
8 years ago

Argenti,

There are so many KPI and Metrics that can be harvested from this contest. Such as the additional step stool height, is it used as a ratio to determined a baseline?

To start with, Foreskins, they can vary significantly in size, some of them retract, some don’t and have to be manually retracted (pulled back) they are as unique as the individual.

Back to the Tallywhacker game.

I do agree, they can curve in many directions. It’s valid, but here I’ll defer to Walter, due to his expertise I’m sure he has a definition.

Ah! just think in some quantum universe a group of men are standing around a table… Gentlemen, On the count of three… Betting would be interesting.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

Argenti Aertheri wrote:

And don’t foreskins generally retract when their member is erecting?

Mine doesn’t, at least not enough to matter; the tip may peek out a bit, but that’s all. Foreskins are supple and pliant enough that they can stretch to accommodate quite a lot of expansion.

(Possible TMI; you have been warned)

In my misspent youth, I tried putting various things inside my foreskin and not retracting it while masturbating. I don’t recommend doing this.

Especially not with sand.

That said, you can actually get a remarkable volume of…whatever…in there if you’re willing to stretch things out a bit.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

@ autosoma

Then, for the truly macho, there’s Russian Tallywhacker….

Orion
8 years ago

I think Walter just like big dicks. I’m okay with this. It’s gonna suck when skinny jeans are no longer a thing but those 70s style gym shorts are coming back.

Actually, on that topic…

Are you allowed to wear skinny jeans if you have a big dick? And a small waist? I’ve got long legs and an indie/artsy vibe, so I should be wearing skinny jeans, but I also have a 28-inch waist. The one time I did buy a pair, I had to get it in the women’s section, and pretty soon I stopped wearing them for fear of poking someone. Is there any way I can make them work?

(I don’t care at all about feeling exposed, I just don’t want to offend, and I don’t know what’s acceptable)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Orion — wear a long shirt, long enough to cover any excess exposure. Might work? But I tend to live in leggings since I really only go out when it’s circus time. Could maybe go for shorts over them, but I think that only works when you are obviously actively engaged in sporting activities.

Gaebolga — ow, sand, ow! Sex on the beach is not recommended! Owwww

Gaebolga and autosoma — thanks for the foreskin info guys, since, as I said, I have very little experience with uncut members as it’s really the norm here to be circumcised. The more you know!

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
8 years ago

@Orion

http://i.imgur.com/wbajk09.jpg

(Entirely unhelpful, but relevant.)

Walter
Walter
8 years ago

Freemage

In my experience most racists are obsessed with black cock. Especially the men.

In terms of tallywackers

One of my favorite fantasies is that I have a huge cock and I slam it against a table or desk and the desk breaks into a million pieces.

Orion
8 years ago

@Walter,

You can do that in Exalted. Or in D&D, though it’s slightly more difficult.

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Can confirm Gaebolga’s comments re: expansion of foreskins and non-retraction being at least a possibility.

My own TMI: This actually was a bit of a help during puberty. Once the reflex was developed, the foreskin could buy just enough time to grab a kleenex or some other suitable material upon waking from a wet dream. Young folk (oi, Walter, note how I didn’t say “young men”? There’s a reason for that.) with intact foreskins need to be taught to be extra careful with hygiene, but getting teens to spend a few extra minutes playing with it in the shower is, um, not really that difficult.

contrapangloss
8 years ago

Yep, Walter is the best troll of the year. Sadly, it was a very low bar.

I’ll try and track down some “At least you aren’t as awful as you could be” cookies.

Also, as to the whole table breaking dream:
comment image

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

Walter — you see how everyone else is saying “TMI” before discussing their genitals and fantasies and such? It’s cuz no one wants to read about what gets you off without some warning!

Me? No TMI cuz I’m still recovering from (not) sleeping in the basement with our former stray. She’s a sweetheart, but that floor is utterly unforgiving. Very cute to be half asleep and find your hand surrounded by soft belly fur though (like I said, she’s a sweetie)

*utterly sidesteps the topic because our always on topic thing came up: cats*

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
8 years ago

@ Argenti Aertheri

Apropos of nothing, here’s an old foreskin joke:

A mohel, after a long career, decided to get a memento of his life’s work, so he took all the foreskins he had saved and took them to a leather-worker and asked if he could make a wallet out of them. The leather-worker thought for a minute and then said “sure, come back in a week.”

A week later, the mohel came back, and the leather-worker saw him and shook his head, saying “I’m sorry, but this is trickier than I thought. I’m going to need another week.” Disappointed, the mohel left and came back a week later. Again, the leather-worker shook his head and apologetically asked for another week. The mohel left again, and came back a week later. This time, when the leather-worker saw the mohel he broke into a big smile and went into the back, returning with a beautiful leather wallet. He handed it over to the mohel, who was well pleased with the result – the leather was as smooth as silk and stained a deep burgundy.

“It’s wonderful! Thank you!” The mohel exclaimed. “How much do I owe you?”

“$650” the leather-worker replied.

“$650?” the mohel cried, “That’s a lot for a wallet!”

“Yes,” said the leather-worker, “but if you rub it the right way, it turns into a suitcase.”

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

Contrapangloss,
I don’t have a cookie, but I have a doge star for Walter
http://www.pics4world.com/vb/imgcache/2/19752showing.jpg

Wetherby
Wetherby
8 years ago

It wouldn’t surprise me at all if Walter hadn’t already won Troll of the Year. And I suspect fellow old-timers know exactly what I’m getting at.

autosoma
8 years ago
Reply to  Gaebolga

Gaebolga & Argenti

for those s not in the know the Mohel is the fella who does a bris milah. He’s not a rabbi just a regular fella with a bit of tradition behind him. And if course the bris is the snipping if the foreskin to allow the covenant with god as a visible thing.

Weird choice by a deity of a body part to choose, not the first that springs to mind. Also I spent a long time wondering why Freddie Mercury was singing about the snip in Bohemean Rhapsody, until I could be arsed to read the lyric, Its Bismilah… still makes little sense to me.

Actually why not one better than Troll of the year. Trumps about to be spanked by the GoP (sorry for that image) How about Walter for GoP nominee.

sbel
sbel
8 years ago

Hilarious thread. I was literally laughing out loud for a lot of it. A++ 😉

contrapangloss
8 years ago

Argenti, you reminded me!

Contrapangloss Family Stray Update:

Momcat let my mom pick her up last night. Spook (Babycat) still refuses to come closer than 4 feet, but both of them are now sleeping during the night snuggled in the pile of blankets in our old dog kennel.

The folks are tentatively hopeful that they’ll be able to get baycat and momcat both inside within the week, and then from there to the vet for an initial checkup!
comment image

Paradoxical Intention
8 years ago

Pandapool — The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Jackie; currently using they/their, he/his pronouns) | December 2, 2015 at 6:14 am
I think Walter just like big dicks. I’m okay with this. It’s gonna suck when skinny jeans are no longer a thing but those 70s style gym shorts are coming back. What an exciting time for people who like big dicks! (Eh, Paradoxy, eh?)

Hey now.

dhag85 | December 2, 2015 at 6:55 am

in my experience men with smaller dicks submit to men with bigger dicks

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

I think he’s talking about a porn he saw.

Porn isn’t real life, Walter! Those men aren’t submitting because of biotruths, they just happen like dicks in their various orifices!

Spindrift | December 2, 2015 at 7:19 am
Masculinity is all about penis size? When did we stop measuring wrist circumference?

OH MY GOD I REMEMBER THAT.

What is with these people and arbitrary measurements? Do they carry around fabric tape all the time for whenever they meet a dude?

A Land Whale | December 2, 2015 at 9:02 am
“Why the hell do so many girls think normal sized dicks are “small”?”

The same reason so many men think normal sized women are “fat.”

http://media1.giphy.com/media/RzOWkrtMok11u/giphy.gif

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
8 years ago

Well women have been made to feel insecure about our body parts for ages so I can’t say I’m unhappy if men now feel insecure about theirs. What goes around comes around, fellas!

spacelawn
8 years ago

Billy MonstercockTM

Now there’s a guy you can trust.

booburry
8 years ago

Just now reading this thread…

I can’t judge anyone for measuring their penis. One time I put a scale on a table and plopped my boobs on it to see how much they weighed. So I have no room to talk.

WWTH that made me pee a little.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

So…does Russian style tallywacker involve polar bears, gulag-style tattoos, a ton of vodka and possibly include a visit from Putin? Or maybe a dick-centric version of that one scene from “Christmas story” or whatever its called where the kid gets stuck to the frozen pole outside..?

@Autosoma

I’m trying to encourage more men to get involved in performing arts, in a way that even the ‘too manly, bro’ can appreciate as much as all the cocks on display at their frats, locker rooms, mens rooms at stadiums and bars, etc….I’m assuming that’s where Walter’s porn and fevered dreams imagine all the dicks on display. Those RP’rs might actually be more fun if they drop trou and give a bit of a performance that’s a cross between the full monty and burlesque! At least as long as they didn’t start talking before, after or during on their usual bullet points and declarations. I mean, if women can perform burlesque than certainly these manly men (cough) can manage to!

And now I’m engaging my copulins to get the s/o to don a kilt. 😉

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

@Orion

Hey, at least someone can wear skinny jeans, so have at them! If your dick is big enough and your waist small enough to wear those while your pole is pointing at the ceiling just wear a shirt long enough and you should be fine. There are undoubtedly a few interested parties who wouldn’t care if you wore a shirt at all, and will likely be easy to spot should you want to…spend some time showing them your etchings. 😉

Frilly Bow
Frilly Bow
8 years ago

Lol these guys know literally nothing about women. Back before I had actually had sex, I thought big penises would be great because that is what society told me would be great. Years later after having sex with a few guys of different sizes, I actually realised that I preferred the average sized penises and that the big penis thing is a load of shit.

The girl in this story the guy is talking about may be fictional, but let’s not also forget that people are pretty shit at measuring something without getting out some sort of measuring device. While I think it is an inappropriate conversation for around the workplace, it is entirely possible that this girl being very young and thus less likely to be experienced sexually, simply hasn’t ever had sex with a guy with a big dick.

Most of the girls I know who have had sex with a guy who is larger in that area didn’t even like it. I have known some who do, but generally girls are happy around the average mark. These guys have clearly never talked to women about this let alone older women who have had sex with a guy with a big penis before.

Maybe if we lived in a society that wasn’t constantly pushing the narrative of “bigger is better” with regards to penises, we wouldn’t be seeing this problem.

tatjna
tatjna
8 years ago

And I conclude from this only that these dudes really like to talk about their dicks.