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Red Piller: Women are creating “a female Amazonian utopia, where brainless chimps feed them grapes”

What do women want? Grapes
What do women want? Grapes

Bad news, ladies: THEY KNOW.

They know about the Amazonian utopia, the breeding chambers, the grapes — everything.

Last night, on the Red Pill subreddit, REDPILLRECKONING revealed the super seekret feminist plan to take over the world:

[F]eminists see their battle as a genuine war. They have political motives, and they will not stop until they are indeed the dominant gender in our society, and anyone but their male breeding stock is subservient to them. …

Women are manufacturing a female amazonian utopia, where a few brainless chimps feed them grapes and they run planet earth.

How many brainless chimps will there be?

One at first, but he’ll train others!

Also note that women aren’t just trying to build an Amazonian utopia, but a FEMALE Amazonian utopia. As opposed to all those male Amazonian utopias out there.

With evil feminist ladies everywhere, REDPILLRECKONING complained, the male resistance has been forced to go underground, by which he means they have turned to numerous public message boards on the internet that they run and which exclude evil feminists and ladies and wait how is that underground again?

Men have literally been forced into the shadows to talk about how fucked society is getting. In the 90’s they tried to hide and talk in bars, now we have to go to the fucking corners of the web and hide our names for fear of getting our careers wrecked.

Note to self: REDPILLRECKONING isn’t that dude’s real name.

Note to self part two: Apparently in the 90s bars were secret no-girls-allowed sanctuaries for complainy dudes.

What makes the evil feminist plan even more evil, REDPILLRECKONING went on to explain, is that the evil feminist ladies have managed to win some totally desperate beta losers over to their side.

For example, there’s this one dude named “David Futurelle” who’s super-duper terrible.

[M]ale desperation is seen in David Futurelles article where he comes after me. Or when he goes after the redpill movie. He is the definition of a beta, supplicating to women for traffic and brownie points. The dude is exactly what is going wrong with our society, men that bend hand and knee to m’lady their way through life.

Oh, wait, I think he’s talking about me.

Which reminds me: Hey, ladies! Where exactly do I go to trade in all these brownie points for actual brownies? This wasn’t covered in Beta Male orientation.

Anyway, apparently guys like me

can wreck careers because they do it from the relative shadows. He hasn’t had his career ruined because he hasn’t had everyone in favor of free speech and world rid of insanity turn their gaze toward him, and honestly these kinds of people aren’t into ruining lives and careers. But I’ll tell you what, guys like him sure as fuck aren’t above doing so.

For example, I apparently ruined the career of some anonymous dude on the internet who calls himself REDPILLRECKONING by making fun of a post he wrote a couple of months back explaining that dudes can totally generate lady “tingles” in the Hot Babes of the world is by calling them “losers.” Evidently he’s still pretty steamed about the whole thing.

Also, and I didn’t realize this, when I write things on the internet, this apparently takes away the free speech of dudes like REDPILLRECKONING. And so the only way the righteous dudes of the world can protect free speech is to prevent people like me from exercising it.

We need more numbers, and when we get the numbers, hopefully we can focus blow up assholes that try to pervert free speech and ruin the lives of good people.

In a followup comment, REDPILLRECKONING complained that

Guys like this destroy careers. He exists in a world where he can rally juuuustttt enough feminists to create a cascade of shit wherever he needs, while remaining in relative anonymity.

Today I Learned that writing things under your own name on the Internet is a kind of anonymity.

In the comments, not everyone was ready to join REDPILLRECKONING’s War on Futurelle.

Indeed, the legendary Red Pill alpha GayLubeOil came to my defense, sort of.

Hold on, there do you not comprehend the magnificent beauty of David Futerelle? A man, alass no! An Angel. A magnificent 280 pound morbidly obease angel who guids us Red Pillers with his gentle cheesy puff hands. He is but a cherub who blows wind into our sails with his chubby cheeks.

Do you not see that it is Futerelle and his Bloopies that make the Red Pill what it is today? For without them who are we fighting? Why are we writing? True passion comes from opposition. True passion comes from having enemies and a cause.

David Futerelle has given us, has given you and has given me the gift of inspiration. And for that gift you should be grateful. So blow him a kiss and rub his breasts together in gratitude for it is he and men like him that have elevated this manosphere community above all others.

Thanks for the support, bro!

And yet another commenter dropped the Red Pill atomic bomb on REDPILLRECKONING, suggesting that he — brace yourself! — was manipulated by my insidious beta trickery into LOSING FRAME.

Dude, you’re losing the frame real hard.

This guy’s blowing your post out of proportions to make a case against the red pill is the societal equivalent of your girl getting angry at you and reminding you how three months ago you forgot to take the trash out. You keep your cool, you smirk and you agree and amplify.

Damn, son, that’s harsh.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I heard the bell ring. Someone needs their grape feeding.

 

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bekabot
bekabot
8 years ago

How many brainless chimps will there be?

One at first, but he’ll train others!

Well, you know…a hundred monkeys.

ColeYote
ColeYote
8 years ago

He hasn’t had his career ruined because he hasn’t had everyone in favor of free speech and world rid of insanity turn their gaze toward him, and honestly these kinds of people aren’t into ruining lives and careers.

TRPers? Who were recently celebrating the possibility that Charlie Sheen gave women HIV?

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
8 years ago

Oh, oh, also… I plan on making brownies tomorrow. If I don’t set the house on fire, I’ll post them here as a tribute to David, as thanks for all the grapes’ he’s peeled (I mean articles 🙂 )

Paradoxical Intention
8 years ago

dhag85 | November 19, 2015 at 5:43 pm
@PI

Haha! I’m totally getting that t-shirt. Loving it.

I also put it on a tote bag, so you can get it on one of those as well! (Though I don’t know if it’s gone up yet and it’s okay to see. If it doesn’t work, try tomorrow.)

If people like the design enough, and want it on other things, I can also put it on other stuff. Zazzle’s got lots of options, so let me know if you guys want a specific thing!

I’m also currently working on the “Asshole is not a mental illness” stuff, and I’m making a PG version “Bigot is not a mental illness” for people who don’t want to use the word asshole, so those are hopefully also going to go up soon, as soon as I get a good idea for it.

I want to include rainbows, damnit.

(And I may or may not be thinking of some Saint Tail fan stuff to go on my Redbubble. I don’t know if people would buy it, but it’s one of my favorite magical girl animes, and I’ve been binge watching it recently since my shoulder’s hurt!)

Fruitloopsie | November 19, 2015 at 7:27 pm
PI
I love it! Good job!

Thank you kindly!

Virtually Out of Touch | November 19, 2015 at 9:24 pm
Red Piller: “Women are creating “a female Amazonian utopia, where brainless chimps feed them grapes”

What, its not “bon-bons” anymore? At least they’ve upgraded us from processed junk food to raw, natural, gluten-free and presumably organic fruit.

Just gonna leave these here.

[/shameless store plug]

Shaenon | November 19, 2015 at 9:43 pm
If you’re ever in the Bay Area, David, I will hells of make you brownies. But that’s all you’re getting from me, because according to that Reddit thread you’re already receiving nonstop sex from hordes of women, not to mention millions of dollars from the Rockefeller Foundation, as payment for advancing the feminist agenda.

I’m seconding that! I live in the same area! And while our cat isn’t one for being amongst his loyal human servants (unless we have food), I’m sure one of our teeny-tiny dogs would love to say hello!

weirwoodtreehugger
8 years ago

I think I did my part to contribute to the fempire today. I bought a shirt with a sequined black cat on it. That’s misandry, right?

Praise be to Katie and her Amazonian femkittytopia!

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
8 years ago

@the quai

“But if world-domination is the end goal, shouldn’t any hypothetical Amazonian overlords (overladies?) (ovary-lords?) ensure through genetics that these uncontrollable, testosterone-filled manly alpha males pose no threat to the future of the feminist dynasty? And, therefore, wouldn’t beta-male baby-batter be better?

I’m only moderately horrified that I took that phrase and raised you an alliteration.”

So what you’re saying here is that we should get their baby batter and follow up with gelding them? The testosterone-fueled men, that is. I guess we can do that, but they’re not going to like it one bit! Then again, it’s not like they like much if anything (other than the sex stuff) women do so they’ll be mad regardless, might as well give them a horrifically disfiguring reason to be mad over. Great idea! This doesn’t mean you won’t be subject to the feminist collective senate rules though.

The diabolical Katie

gelar
gelar
8 years ago

Poor guy. David’s post from two months ago really hurt his feelings. Guess he’s still not over his girlfriend with the MBA and the great job who left him because he kept insulting her.

Oh wow, is that the guy? His ex moved in with some kind of musician, right?

That one was great.

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
8 years ago

Do you think we could call these the “red pill murders”? I mean think about it; young college alpha males being drowned across the country and an entire blogosphere (the Manosphere, goes without saying, really) that obsesses over alpha males?

Are there cells of envious red pill serial killers out there?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD3c1RSLeFo

Shaenon
8 years ago

Oh wow, is that the guy? His ex moved in with some kind of musician, right?

David’s got a link to the old post, but NO. She’s doomed to be single forever because she was an elderly hag of 27 when she peaced out on him. She’ll just have to comfort herself with her advanced degree and her great job and her money and that ex-boyfriend who apparently isn’t repulsed by her oldness. LOSER.

The Red Pill forums are great if you want to see dumb guys bringing ridiculous problems on themselves and then twisting themselves into knots to explain how it’s totally alpha.

rugbyyogi
8 years ago

Mr Futurelle, I would totally run with that.

Also if you’re ever in London, I’ll bake you some brownies. But they’ll have to be the moist kind, because I don’t do the cake-y kind, not for nobody.

NeonWraith
NeonWraith
8 years ago

Oooh….are there brownies? I could totally go for one this morning.

Spindrift
Spindrift
8 years ago

@gosuamakenatek

Hey, misogynists, free pro tip for you here: If you want to convince everyone of how evil a particular group is, don’t accuse them of trying to create a utopia. I know you’d still rather live in a toxic wasteland of constant war and fire where men are in charge than the peaceful utopia that feminists want where men and women are equal and respect each other, but the word “utopia” doesn’t sound menacing in any context to sane people.

Try not to impy that you have to be insane to buy into their ridiculous conspiracies/fantasies, or to simply not understand the proper meaning of a word. It’s pretty much the same as just calling them mentally ill for being wrong, wich is against the comments policy.

occasional reader
occasional reader
8 years ago

Hello.

David Futurelle ? What about Robert Pastorello ?

Anyway, so we have a David Futrelle, a David Furtelle, a David Futurelle and a David Futerelle. Still counting. Does Mr Futrelle have so many masks ? Is he an avatar of Nyarlathotep and part of a secret conspiracy who want to bring the ancient gods back, ancient gods who are obviously feminist as they cause a loss of SAN to all the non-chrimp men ?

With a bit of imagination, anything is possible, for the worst and the best… 🙂

Have a nice day.

Carayak
Carayak
8 years ago

Am I the only one who sees “David Futurelle” and imagines a silver-suited spaceman, placing his hands on his hips heroically in episode one of this exciting movie serial filmed in glorious black-and-white?

DAVID FUTURELLE. MAN OF THE FUTURE. SECRETLY SENT BACK IN TIME FROM HIS ADVANCED SOCIETY TO RIGHT THE COURSE OF THE WORLD, HE RECORDS BIGOTED REMARKS THE MEN OF POWER MAKE IN PRIVACY, AND HIGHJACKS THE AIRWAVES SO THAT ALL WILL KNOW AND MOCK THE INJUSTICES OF POWER.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

@rugbyyogi:
I can do the cake-style ones, then, so that Mr Futurelle (whomever he is) will not be without choices in the matter.

Spindrift
Spindrift
8 years ago

Why do these fantasies always involve male breeders and not just the use of science to make sperm from women’s cells? Wouldn’t it be even more diabolical if these evil amazons were scheming to create a world without any men at all? (I know there’d still be trans men, but I doubt many redpillers would consider them to be men)
Are they really so attached to that mental image of chained naked dudes being used by women for nothing but sex?

bananananana dakry
bananananana dakry
8 years ago

Wow, I only realized belatedly I totally fucked up spelling David’s last name. *headdesk*. Forgive me, Katie, for I have sinned by typing thy Prophet’s name inaccurately. Please don’t cut my percentage of the bon-bons our beta males supply us.

(Seriously, I am pretty embarrassed. I’m usually better about that.)

rugbyyogi
8 years ago

@EJ (the other one) – I’m pretty tolerant and respect a diversity of opinion, generally. But that’s just wrong. I have to draw the line somewhere.

WickedWitchofWhatever
WickedWitchofWhatever
8 years ago

I just wanted to share this, because its so good – I am a bit pushed for time so I hope I’m the first one: http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/picture/2015/nov/20/lets-celebrate-men-then-lets-make-fun-of-celebrating-men-then-lets-feel-bad-about-it-all

Kat
Kat
8 years ago

@WickedWitchofWhatever
That was great! Thanks.

And isn’t every day International Men’s Day? Just sayin’.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
8 years ago

@rugbyyogi:
Does this mean that we need to fight a brownie duel? (That just sounds so wrong.)

Kootiepatra
8 years ago

I don’t like to pick on people’s grammar online, because English is a freaking bizarre language and there are lots of reasons that various people of various backgrounds have trouble with it.

But I kind of lost it at GLO’s “obease”.

rugbyyogi
8 years ago

@EJ(TOO) By all means, bring it if you think you got it.

(I mean, LOLs, cakey brownie v. fudgy brownie… no competition).

mockingbird
mockingbird
8 years ago

Hey, misogynists, free pro tip for you here: If you want to convince everyone of how evil a particular group is, don’t accuse them of trying to create a utopia.

It’s because they don’t know the definition of “dystopia”.

You’d think they would.

I mean, when I was a jaded teen I was all about dystopian novels.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
8 years ago

Oo, a brownie-off! *snaps fingers rhythmically* Watch out EJ, rubyyogi’s got mad street style. And espresso chips.

Oh wow, is that the guy? His ex moved in with some kind of musician, right?

I think it was a different redpiller. Someone responded to the OP to say his 27yo MBA girlfriend left him for her ex, the post-wall hag. But REDPILLRECKONING did come up with my favorite ever redpill slogan:

hone your cool indifference to societal norms for maximum tingles

It just sounds so cultish and computer-generated. Being around these guys must be like dating a dot-matrix printer.

“Hey, want to go someplace tonight?”

“dbms_output.put_line LOSER”