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Red Piller: Women are creating “a female Amazonian utopia, where brainless chimps feed them grapes”

What do women want? Grapes
What do women want? Grapes

Bad news, ladies: THEY KNOW.

They know about the Amazonian utopia, the breeding chambers, the grapes — everything.

Last night, on the Red Pill subreddit, REDPILLRECKONING revealed the super seekret feminist plan to take over the world:

[F]eminists see their battle as a genuine war. They have political motives, and they will not stop until they are indeed the dominant gender in our society, and anyone but their male breeding stock is subservient to them. …

Women are manufacturing a female amazonian utopia, where a few brainless chimps feed them grapes and they run planet earth.

How many brainless chimps will there be?

One at first, but he’ll train others!

Also note that women aren’t just trying to build an Amazonian utopia, but a FEMALE Amazonian utopia. As opposed to all those male Amazonian utopias out there.

With evil feminist ladies everywhere, REDPILLRECKONING complained, the male resistance has been forced to go underground, by which he means they have turned to numerous public message boards on the internet that they run and which exclude evil feminists and ladies and wait how is that underground again?

Men have literally been forced into the shadows to talk about how fucked society is getting. In the 90’s they tried to hide and talk in bars, now we have to go to the fucking corners of the web and hide our names for fear of getting our careers wrecked.

Note to self: REDPILLRECKONING isn’t that dude’s real name.

Note to self part two: Apparently in the 90s bars were secret no-girls-allowed sanctuaries for complainy dudes.

What makes the evil feminist plan even more evil, REDPILLRECKONING went on to explain, is that the evil feminist ladies have managed to win some totally desperate beta losers over to their side.

For example, there’s this one dude named “David Futurelle” who’s super-duper terrible.

[M]ale desperation is seen in David Futurelles article where he comes after me. Or when he goes after the redpill movie. He is the definition of a beta, supplicating to women for traffic and brownie points. The dude is exactly what is going wrong with our society, men that bend hand and knee to m’lady their way through life.

Oh, wait, I think he’s talking about me.

Which reminds me: Hey, ladies! Where exactly do I go to trade in all these brownie points for actual brownies? This wasn’t covered in Beta Male orientation.

Anyway, apparently guys like me

can wreck careers because they do it from the relative shadows. He hasn’t had his career ruined because he hasn’t had everyone in favor of free speech and world rid of insanity turn their gaze toward him, and honestly these kinds of people aren’t into ruining lives and careers. But I’ll tell you what, guys like him sure as fuck aren’t above doing so.

For example, I apparently ruined the career of some anonymous dude on the internet who calls himself REDPILLRECKONING by making fun of a post he wrote a couple of months back explaining that dudes can totally generate lady “tingles” in the Hot Babes of the world is by calling them “losers.” Evidently he’s still pretty steamed about the whole thing.

Also, and I didn’t realize this, when I write things on the internet, this apparently takes away the free speech of dudes like REDPILLRECKONING. And so the only way the righteous dudes of the world can protect free speech is to prevent people like me from exercising it.

We need more numbers, and when we get the numbers, hopefully we can focus blow up assholes that try to pervert free speech and ruin the lives of good people.

In a followup comment, REDPILLRECKONING complained that

Guys like this destroy careers. He exists in a world where he can rally juuuustttt enough feminists to create a cascade of shit wherever he needs, while remaining in relative anonymity.

Today I Learned that writing things under your own name on the Internet is a kind of anonymity.

In the comments, not everyone was ready to join REDPILLRECKONING’s War on Futurelle.

Indeed, the legendary Red Pill alpha GayLubeOil came to my defense, sort of.

Hold on, there do you not comprehend the magnificent beauty of David Futerelle? A man, alass no! An Angel. A magnificent 280 pound morbidly obease angel who guids us Red Pillers with his gentle cheesy puff hands. He is but a cherub who blows wind into our sails with his chubby cheeks.

Do you not see that it is Futerelle and his Bloopies that make the Red Pill what it is today? For without them who are we fighting? Why are we writing? True passion comes from opposition. True passion comes from having enemies and a cause.

David Futerelle has given us, has given you and has given me the gift of inspiration. And for that gift you should be grateful. So blow him a kiss and rub his breasts together in gratitude for it is he and men like him that have elevated this manosphere community above all others.

Thanks for the support, bro!

And yet another commenter dropped the Red Pill atomic bomb on REDPILLRECKONING, suggesting that he — brace yourself! — was manipulated by my insidious beta trickery into LOSING FRAME.

Dude, you’re losing the frame real hard.

This guy’s blowing your post out of proportions to make a case against the red pill is the societal equivalent of your girl getting angry at you and reminding you how three months ago you forgot to take the trash out. You keep your cool, you smirk and you agree and amplify.

Damn, son, that’s harsh.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I heard the bell ring. Someone needs their grape feeding.

 

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reymohammed
reymohammed
5 years ago

I have my own damned grapevines.

reymohammed
reymohammed
5 years ago

In re: brownies.

I have a Helluva recipe for heartbreak cookies, which I can’t eat any more because my gallbladder would fall out. I can transcribe that onto Kingsoft and post it a little later.

Meanwhile, my grapevines are one Herbemont, rescued from a demolition site, and one Death Row vine offered at Walmart as a Chardonnay, which surely isn’t. They’re still young. But I got enough wild Florida scuppernong to put down a tolerably good batch of wine.

Hambeast, Social Justice Road Warrior
Hambeast, Social Justice Road Warrior
5 years ago

Wow, I only realized belatedly I totally fucked up spelling David’s last name. *headdesk*. Forgive me, Katie, for I have sinned by typing thy Prophet’s name inaccurately. Please don’t cut my percentage of the bon-bons our beta males supply us.

I’m (at least one of) the one(s) who made the Furtrelle error. I blame the cats.

AnAndrejaPejicBlog (@A_Pejic_Blog)

“Furtrelle” could be David’s feline alter ego.

Moocow
Moocow
5 years ago

I totally volunteer to be a judge for this brownie off. What? No way, this is totally not an excuse for me to eat as many brownies as possible. Now excuse me while I deliver these grapes, Katie has spoken.

@gosuamakenatek

Speaking of which, this whole “war” Futrelle is waging against MRA’s, according to them at least, makes me think of a guy standing still and holding a mirror facing an army of soldiers with laser guns. They keep relentlessly firing at him while their lasers bounce off his mirror and hit them instead, all the while talking about what an evil monster he is for attacking them and trying to destroy them.

Hah! That is the most perfect metaphor for, well, everything that goes on here. It never gets old when they say “how dare you make me look like a shitty human being by quoting me verbatum!”

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
5 years ago

Random note — grapes no for kitty, grapes harmful to kitty.

Arthur Meyer
5 years ago

I wouldn’t mind being in this utopia feeding women grapes… and brownies… And all sorts of food! Who wouldn’t want such a job?

@Mockingbird

“Dystopia” is a word that most people won’t think of right away. However, there is always the notion that one person’s dystopia is another’s utopia, so in that context, these macho morons could be correct… But seeing that this is in a message board where the utopia in question is a bad thing, they should have used the correct word… But again, “macho morons”.

Of course, speaking of dystopias, I read your name as “Mockingjay” instead of “Mockingbird”.

reymohammed
reymohammed
5 years ago

In re: brownies

Heartbreak Cookies

1/3 cup butter
1/3 cup heavy sour cream
1/3 cup sugar
2 cups self-rising flour

Cream butter with sour cream and chill. Sift flour and sugar together, chill. Knead chilled ingredients together; let rest in fridge. Preheat oven to 450° F. Roll dough out on cutting board and cut into hearts. Place on cookie sheet and bake until golden and firm (10-12 minutes unless big). Cool on rack and frost to taste.

rugbyyogi
5 years ago

Hey Rey – oh.. I’m not a fan of sugar cookies in general, but I bet with the sour cream those have a delicous tang. I’m trying that.

Robert
Robert
5 years ago

Futurelle is a wonderful typo. Presumably your Mirror, Mirror double is David Pastelle. He’s evil, but not vividly so.

reymohammed
reymohammed
5 years ago

In re: brownies

Big heartbreak cookies make a good base for shortcake.

Snowberry
Snowberry
5 years ago

“Utopia” means “no place”. Originally it referred to unnamed fictional settings, and was neutral. “Dystopia” means “bad place”. “Good place” would be “eutopia”. Not that this matters, since utopia has become the positive term and this isn’t likely to ever change.

pkayden
pkayden
5 years ago

“men that bend hand and knee to m’lady their way through life.”

This made me laugh out loud. Some of these MRAs are unintentionally hilarious.

Shadow
Shadow
5 years ago

Feh, let them remain in their ignorance, we know the truth

Soon they’ll learn

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
5 years ago

And here I shall pay my respects to David Furtuerelle (That’s how you write it, right? :P), general in the army of Katie, and provider of bonbons
http://i790.photobucket.com/albums/yy190/MetalAmaya_photo/WP_20151120_21_34_22_Pro.jpg
http://i790.photobucket.com/albums/yy190/MetalAmaya_photo/WP_20151120_21_34_43_Pro.jpg

I also made tea. I don’t know how David feels about tea, but it’s there.

Subtract Hominem, the Renegade Misandroid
Subtract Hominem, the Renegade Misandroid
5 years ago

Dibs on “Feminist Amazon Conspiracy Utopia” as a band name!

misseb47
misseb47
5 years ago

Msexceptiontotherule

“No, I am most certainly not pleased, now I have to ferret out where the rats are, and just how much of a new plan I’ll need to come up with! Those blasted redpillers, much smart and great logical! With them around how will I ever succeed in my plan to take over the world with the feminist collective!”

Oh noes! I guess we have to contact our agents in the NSA to scan the feminist hivemind to hunt down the traitors.

PS

The identity of our mighty femizon leader, Katie, has been revealed has been revealed! All hail Katie!! All hail Msexceptiontotherule!!

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
5 years ago

@misseb47

Drat, I was hoping for actual rats and ferrets. They’re cute, not as cute as goats, lemurs, and raccoons, but still cute. And this Katie likes the cute ‘fuzzeh ammimals’…the NSA…not so much.

*somewhere in America, I continue my work, which on Friday nights means putting a few extra hours on the clock turning Mr. Katie’s mind towards this weekend’s chores with my zombie-mind control vagina copulins goo at full strength! After that will be training Mr. Katie to train a team of totally not rabid raccoons to be my minions/aerial-and-death-from-above home defense operatives. I’ve got big plans, and my vagina goo is top notch (plus copious!).

Bananananana dakry
Bananananana dakry
5 years ago

@Hambeast

I blame my iPad. Though the cat is a good standby scapegoat. Because to hell with the noble ratel, cats couldn’t care *less*. Unless it’s treats. Then they care a lot.

Orion
5 years ago

Originally [Utopia] referred to unnamed fictional settings, and was neutral.

I’m pretty sure this is incorrect. When we read Thomas More’s Utopia in school they told us that he created the name, and the first half-dozen websites I’ve checked concur that the word was first used by Thomas More.

Utopia is a novel about an island named Utopia, which is itself a utopia (in the sense of an apparently perfect society). We assume that he named it “no place” rather than “good place” because he didn’t believe it was possible in real life, but “utopia” has meant “eutopia” for as long as “utopia” has been a word.

anon
anon
5 years ago

They came so close to having a comment section about you where they didn’t fantasize about you eating without any clothes on.

They’re tsundere for you.

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
5 years ago

All this food porn makes me want to….. eat more!!!!

A Land Whale
A Land Whale
5 years ago

Isn’t it funny how they are so afraid of feminists because we might one day treat men the way that men have treated women since the beginning of time?…..HOW HORRIFYING!

The other funny thing is, they are always the ones talking about wars and apocalypses….apocalypsese? Apocalpti? Anyway…..

jaygee
jaygee
5 years ago

I read this thinking RPR recently watched the Amazonian episode of Futurama and wished it were real. Then he could have snu-snu with multiple ladies (at the expense of dying from a crushed pelvis). That may also explain why he spelled David’s last name as “Futurelle”, he had Futurama on his mind!

Aris Boch
5 years ago

Amazonian utopia? I don’t think, that feminists want to cut off one of their boobs to shoot better (cause who needs bow and arrow today, if you have guns, tanks, planes, missiles and drones?)…