Attention, class! Today we will be discussing some important new discoveries in the field of vagina science, as reported by the Youtuber and Man Going His Own Way known as Sandman.
In a new video, Sandman alerts his readers to a terrible danger: How women can use their vagina powers to turn men into “walking talking zombie[s].” As he explains:
Inside every single woman are hormones called copulins that are used to drug a man and control his mind. This isn’t a conspiracy theory. And when I first heard about this it reminded me of the original film invasion of the body snatchers where aliens come down and take humans and turn us into pod people. When I first heard about how copulin hormones I felt the same fear.
So what do these evil copulins do? Well, according to a post Sandman found on the important, peer-reviewed scientific blog called “WOMEN NEED CONSTANT SUPERVISION,”
The vagina produces a thick fluid known as copulin that has actual mind control effects on a male’s brain. If a man is exposed to a woman’s copulins, over time she will be able to number one: change, remove, or insert memories in a man’s mind. Number two: Tell the male what he sees, hears, feels, smells, tastes. Number three: Insert subconscious thoughts that will surface as “his own ideas” or behavior later. and finally number four Plant trigger words or actions that can cause thoughts, actions, or sensations in the male at later dates (days, weeks, even months).
Now, I’m no scientist but that all seems totally legit.
The most effective way women can get control of men, Sandman explains, is to literally squirt copulins into his penis.
Apparently the female genitals squirt fluid into the male member and that’s how you get STDs. But that’s also how the copulins get inside of you as a man and how the female version of the Jedi mind trick works.
One way men can try to protect themselves from this diabolical zombifying vagina goo is to wear a condom — which, as Sandman explains, should keep the copulins from “enter[ing] your penis and start[ing] to influence you fully.”
But, Sandman warns, condoms can’t protect you from the butter-scented cloud of copulins that women release into the air around them. And yes, Sandman does specify that it smells like butter.
[S]imply by being around women they are releasing these hormones into the air. Apparently they smell like butter which is the smell I notice when I’m in any place where I notice girls walking around in their mid to late teenage years. I’m guessing those are the years when they they release the most of these hormones when they are approaching peak fertility.
And this vagina-zombie-butter-lady-gas is, Sandman suggests, the reason that some men actually seem to like and respect women. Well, he doesn’t quite phrase it that way:
I believe that it’s quite likely that most white knights and manginas have sniffed and been exposed to so many copulin hormones that they can’t control the way they behave. They could be under a form of feminine mind control and completely unaware of it.
Even Sandman sometimes finds himself falling under the spell of the voodoo vagina goo.
I would look into this more but I suddenly feel a strange urge to go assist some random woman with her packages.
EDIT: For more on the totally legit science of zombifying vagina goo, see my followup post: Zombifying Vagina Goo Part Two: All Your Questions Answered!
Based on my extensive Internet research (I typed ‘copulins’ into Google and only looked at the first page) these men are TOTALLY RIGHT. Sadly, my copulins must be broken, as hubby doesn’t do anything I want, nor have my attempts to make him ‘remember’ things that never happened been successful.
In terms of actual research into copulins, I found this: http://www.abc.net.au/catalyst/chemistryofattraction/download/Oberzaucher_Poster.pdf
The indications on a study done by actual scientists (and not “research” done by the MRAssholes) are that copulins increase male testosterone. Interestingly enough, there was nothing about mind control in there.
So basically what he is saying male feminists are feminists because they got laid a lot, most likely with young women? Wellp.
And, like… How do we get this Goo INSIDE the penis? Do we, like, have a retreatable needle or thin tube in the opening of our uterus, that enters the urethra and releases the hormone? Does this needle have some kind of anesthesic to numb the crippling pain that comes from that?
Does it need to stay long enough in the penis to be absorbed by the blood stream? if so, do men who orgasm quickly, thereby cleaning their urethra, suffer lessen effects?
Oh, that makes sense. I mean, that’s problably why those guys who dont care for their partner’s pleasure and come super fast are not under the mental control of us damn feeeeeemales, right?
As a med student, I have so much to ask those scientists.
You know, I don’t think I’ll ever see a recipe that calls for half a cup of butter in quite the same way again.
MARU MAKING BREAD!!!!
*calms down* ok, that was adorable.
Maru is my favorite internet celebrity kitty. He reminds me so much of my childhood cat. He had very similar coloring and markings and was also super sassy. Whiskers died almost 11 years ago and I still miss him. As much as I adore Darrow and Dracarys, Whiskers was the greatest cat of all time and can never be replaced.
Chiomara, are you saying that this is basically derived from a fear that women will treat them like these men treat women? Because that strikes me as very accurate.
I wish my cat would ACTUALLY PLAY with the toys I buy him instead of deciding to hunt The Horrible Feet Monsters all the time.
Do you like my new profile picture?! I love it.
Chiomara: The human uterus is like the starfish stomach, it can turn inside out and force itself into a clam’s shell (or a penis) to digest it from the inside. Science!
I’ve been told the smell of toast can be a sign of stroke – is the smell of butter the symptom that precludes one of those arousal-based anime nosebleeds or something?
Oh no! I will never be able to tell if I’m having a stroke then…I loooooves toast!
I can’t believe Sandman’s earning 232$ per month from Patreon to produce ridiculous garbage like this.
I can’t believe he’s earning $2.32 a month for this.
they are very nervous around cats, so i hear
LMAO, terrified in fact
@erica, ascendant
Not only is MRAKKK an appropriate designation for their little hatefest, if you pronounce it as a single word, it sounds like EMRAHHHHK, which, in my mind, is the sound of an insectoid alien pounce-attacking.
A large, white insect, with a cone-shaped head, red eyes, and large pincers dripping venom. The venom burns everything it touches. If applied to wood, it results in combustion.
I loved “You Shall Not Pass, Dog.”
My cat sometimes plays the You Shall Not Pass, Mom, game. One of us does not enjoy that game.
@chiomara
Yes, that’s a kickass profile picture!
@Chiomara: “So basically what he is saying male feminists are feminists because they got laid a lot, most likely with young women?”
That’s the same TL;DR I took from this piece of sterling scientific research. It’d certainly explain why I support feminism.
Ha! I remember expressing sympathy and concern for poor, long-suffering David having to read all this stuff on our behalf. Others frequently say the same sort of thing.
If you occasionally get the kind of workout laughing this hard at some of the stuff, it’d set you up for another few weeks of dreary moaning and whining. This one is fan.tas.tic.
Of course, I’ve convinced myself that it’s a The Onion version of manuresphere bloviating. I really can’t get my head around the idea that it’s serious in any way.
This reminds me of a friend of mine (I dropped her long ago), who was adamant that black people *smelled* different, and THAT was why they used so much cologne. To her, they were Other, right down to the molecular level.
Black people do smell different. Asian people too. I know, sounds racist, but I swear they do. At least for me and my crazily strong nose.
I have the impression black people (not brown, really dark black) smell more musky. And Asian people never smell sweaty. Not even in the armpits. They smell almost sweet.
I personally like the personal smell of all races, but, seriously, the smell of Asian people is out of this world. Whoever has had an Asian partner and a very good nose must know what I mean.
https://www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/11/06/mgtow-women-literally-hypnotize-men-with-their-zombifying-vagina-goo/comment-page-1/#comment-828672
@some strange username
THANK YOU
I used to read these comment threads and this blog a lot but stopped by and large because as a disabled (including mental-health-wise) person who’s known so-called “severely mentally ill” people, a lot of the dialogue around this type of stuff started to make me really uncomfortable (also, all those “comedy” pictures this blog used to share around where the joke was that the “MRAs” in question looked like men with Down Syndrome, or some stereotypical developmental/intellectual disability, in fedoras).
Anyway, sometimes I pop back in out of curiosity. I notice more sensitivity toward ableism, but it doesn’t get enforced very strongly, or so it seems. Which is disappointing.
Chiomara, people whose ancestors long lived in hot climates may develop the trait of excreting by sweat chemicals that people from cold climates eliminate via the kidneys. That explains why Pacific Asians, whose ancestors were cold-adapted, rarely produce a sweat that is acrid, while Europeans more often do and the trait is frequent in equatorial peoples. But body odor is not just a product of genetic traits, hygiene, or ambient temperature. It is also connected with diet. A bit of folklore is that, during the days of the Raj, a British colonial had to be very careful around water buffalo in Hindu areas, because a beef-eating Englishman smelled like a predator to them, and they would charge. Water buffalo in Muslim areas were used to the smell of beef-eating humans, and were not bothered by their odor.
Mattie, if I may ask, how long ago was that? I ask cuz last(?) winter I collected a stable full of unicorns, one for every 24 hour period we managed to go without an ableist comment, in January I think there were a whole of 7 days, maybe 9. Yeah, this bipolar feminist doesn’t stand for that shit either, and I’m curious when I missed it, I’ve been sporadic much of this year though, so…
Who’s been slacking? Definitely not PI. In fact, PI, can we have a boilerplate of your “read the comments policy” reply? I’m thinking, hoping, that having a copy paste reply to ableism might make people more comfy going “yo, stop that!”
Chiomara — I don’t know? On its face, it does sound racist, otoh what you eat definitely affects how you smell (and how the sexytimes taste!), so it doesn’t seem that far fetched that cultural norms would have an affect. And I know from trans men that testosterone makes you smellier. I really, really doubt there’s anything resembling a strictly racial basis for how we smell, but diet does play a roll so the cultural aspects of that?