Attention, class! Today we will be discussing some important new discoveries in the field of vagina science, as reported by the Youtuber and Man Going His Own Way known as Sandman.
In a new video, Sandman alerts his readers to a terrible danger: How women can use their vagina powers to turn men into “walking talking zombie[s].” As he explains:
Inside every single woman are hormones called copulins that are used to drug a man and control his mind. This isn’t a conspiracy theory. And when I first heard about this it reminded me of the original film invasion of the body snatchers where aliens come down and take humans and turn us into pod people. When I first heard about how copulin hormones I felt the same fear.
So what do these evil copulins do? Well, according to a post Sandman found on the important, peer-reviewed scientific blog called “WOMEN NEED CONSTANT SUPERVISION,”
The vagina produces a thick fluid known as copulin that has actual mind control effects on a male’s brain. If a man is exposed to a woman’s copulins, over time she will be able to number one: change, remove, or insert memories in a man’s mind. Number two: Tell the male what he sees, hears, feels, smells, tastes. Number three: Insert subconscious thoughts that will surface as “his own ideas” or behavior later. and finally number four Plant trigger words or actions that can cause thoughts, actions, or sensations in the male at later dates (days, weeks, even months).
Now, I’m no scientist but that all seems totally legit.
The most effective way women can get control of men, Sandman explains, is to literally squirt copulins into his penis.
Apparently the female genitals squirt fluid into the male member and that’s how you get STDs. But that’s also how the copulins get inside of you as a man and how the female version of the Jedi mind trick works.
One way men can try to protect themselves from this diabolical zombifying vagina goo is to wear a condom — which, as Sandman explains, should keep the copulins from “enter[ing] your penis and start[ing] to influence you fully.”
But, Sandman warns, condoms can’t protect you from the butter-scented cloud of copulins that women release into the air around them. And yes, Sandman does specify that it smells like butter.
[S]imply by being around women they are releasing these hormones into the air. Apparently they smell like butter which is the smell I notice when I’m in any place where I notice girls walking around in their mid to late teenage years. I’m guessing those are the years when they they release the most of these hormones when they are approaching peak fertility.
And this vagina-zombie-butter-lady-gas is, Sandman suggests, the reason that some men actually seem to like and respect women. Well, he doesn’t quite phrase it that way:
I believe that it’s quite likely that most white knights and manginas have sniffed and been exposed to so many copulin hormones that they can’t control the way they behave. They could be under a form of feminine mind control and completely unaware of it.
Even Sandman sometimes finds himself falling under the spell of the voodoo vagina goo.
I would look into this more but I suddenly feel a strange urge to go assist some random woman with her packages.
EDIT: For more on the totally legit science of zombifying vagina goo, see my followup post: Zombifying Vagina Goo Part Two: All Your Questions Answered!
@Ghost Robot
Yeah, I agree. Possibly a little frightened by sexuality in general and grabbing at straws.
I think I’ve worked out why the EM-rahs don’t get affected, the get a shag once, thrnn the copulins reslusd what tosspots they are and spread around the hive mind going “not with a barge pole, you must owe your bits a grudge”, so they are only in contact with copulins for about 20 seconds Max and only once.
makes total, sense to me
I couldn’t find a decent scholarly article in a few minutes of digging on Google Scholar about copulins (the most recent was from 1999 and looked like it might have come from an Italian seminary, so not the most credible source imo; not a dig against religion in general, just not the area of expertise of a seminary to be writing about the scientific specifics of sex hormones, although proper respect to Gregor Mendel!).
I *did*, however, find this article: http://www.anapsid.org/pheromones.html
It appears to be at least a cited article that was updated in 2014 and seems to come to the conclusion that there has not been any definitive work done on the existence of copulins in human beings. They’ve found some short-chain fatty acids (between 2 and 6 carbons long) in vaginal secretions and have found that about 30% of women studied produce these in greater abundance during the “fertile period” of their monthly cycles. They’ve also found that similar fatty acids in the vaginal secretions of some monkeys has triggered copulative behavior, though this is of course not at all conclusive of the function of these hormones in humans.
From what I can tell, there isn’t any conclusive, peer-reviewed, published work demonstrating that copulins exist at all, which means it is extremely unlikely that any work has been done on them that would definitively demonstrate their effects on the human male, their mode of operation, the method of their introduction into the male system, the path they would take from penis to hypothalamus, etc. etc.
I will say, for a conspiracy theory, this is rather elaborate, but then again Alex Jones’s entire industry is built around elaborate conspiracy theories that have just enough of a germ of truth to them for credulous fools are snared by them and live years of their lives desperately unhappy because of bogeymen and government spooks who don’t actually exist and who never have.
In closing, I’d like to suggest that Sandman revisit his notes from high school health class where he will find copious evidence to contradict what he has said about the method of STD introduction to the male member, the function of the endocrine system and its secretions, etc. etc. In short, he is just plain incorrect and his position is scientifically indefensible to a degree that would be laughable were it not so fueled by hatred and prejudice against our friends who are of the ovarian-persuasion.
And this lecture series on human biology actually does a good job of scratching the surface on questions of biology effecting behavior (scratches the surface at 30+ hours in total length, to give you an idea about how complex this kind of stuff really is). As an anth student I have to say that he could do a better job of making it clear that culture, language, and self-awareness can pull the rug out from any given biological explanation, but hey he’s a biologist so I understand his bias
Is sandman unfamiliar with vaginas or with butter, or is it both? These are the questions that haunt me.
ChildofMedia:
My vagina isn’t interested in going all of those places. And my vagina isn’t a big fan of fighting. My vagina is a lover, not a fighter.
Huge waste of power potential, I know, having a pacifist vagina. Maybe my vagina is just overly tired from controlling all these mens, it needs a break.
Well, I don’t see why everybody finds this so funny. The top notch manosphere scientists have long talked about the magical properties of male bodily fluids. Semen changes the genetic structure of the women, letting the cucks get the upper hand, and making virgins the only viable choice for men who want a baby to be truly his. Also, there was the extensive research revealing that spitting in a woman’s mouth or getting her to ingest other bodily fluids will make her fall in love with the man. Evolutionarily speaking, it was inevitable that the female species would develop its own counter measures. This is merely the next phase in the evolutionary arms race.
More bs excuse to justify their irrational and shitty behavior.
Wow, that bit about lying motionless for 15 minutes while the vagina-owner pumps fluid into the penis-owner sounds like something that would be written by aliens trying to parse human mating strategies by reading only incredibly specific and poorly-written erotica.
Oh, and 100ml isn’t a half-cup of fluid. It’s 2/5ths.
ahahahahahahaahahaha omgomg can’t breathe
Not to mention the part where all that fluid hangs out in your balls for a while.
I’ve said it before, but I’m saying it again.
It must be difficult to be a heterosexual male and have this much incoherent, nightmarish dread of female sexuality. Like, H.P. Lovecraft probably had less issues than these wowsers. It makes me think of the g0ys and their phenomenal squeamishness regarding male/male contact.
“I do not avoid women, Mandrake – but I deny them my essence.” General Jack D. Ripper, in “Dr. Strangelove”.
Wasn’t there a Gator a while back who argued that Anita Sarkeesian was using hypnosis techniques in the Tropes vs. Women videos?
Also, the Deadline article suggests that SCARLETT JOHANSSON is interested in the Zoe Quinn movie???
Apparently, I get laid way more than the MRA/PUA guys, and that’s why I don’t treat women like shit. Hmm… cause & effect must be too complicated for them to understand.
Hahahaha! Fear the vagina MRA’s! I’m rolling!
Wow, I’ve finally figured out why I’m attracted to women! I loved butter (I will literally eat spoons of butter) and now this makes sense; I’ve been made to wake up and smell the butter!
I did a quick google search (and copulins does have quite a few results; don’t spell it copulin, like I did first, that gets you coupling) and the first article I read tried to sound legit at first. It talked about how copulin is secreted to help lubricate a vagina (makes sense) and a couple other sensible points. Then immediately lost credit by claiming that SEMEN is a lubricant. I’m pretty sure that penises do lubricate, a bit anyway, but semen generally comes at the end of copulation. Any that was there before is most likely full of dead sperm.
It got worse really fast, since apparently it induces short term amnesia, allowing the female (and the only female who can command them is the one who copulined them- sorry, you can’t share your enslaved men) to input memories in the male and give them a sense of pleasure and fulfillment.
And here, I’d always thought that it was the Orgasm that caused that, but what do I know? I have a silly woman brain, after all.
Also, I work with tons of females (my work is about 5 percent male, maybe less) who sometimes want me to smell them (I apparently am good at detecting when something smells even subtly bad?) and I have had one smell like butter. Granted, she’s just managed to get liquid butter all over herself… but, man, the men were all begging her to order them around. The More You Know!
Men don’t even understand their own bodies.
This is my favourite by far. I cannot stop laughing.
I’m a butter tart.
If a recipe calls for a 1/2 cup of butter, can we substitute?
Buttercup Q. Skullpants: Is your goal mind control? Then I would say yes.
I’m curious if this is supposed to work on women (Or more specifically, vagina havers), too. I don’t think it would, or else we’d be affected by our own.
Also, I’m annoyed that the “source” of this was “constant supervision”. The guy obviously thinks that our natural mind control juices are a reason women need constant supervision, but you know if he found a way men could mind control women, he’d be claiming it was proof that men were superior (see examples in earlier post).
“It must be difficult to be a heterosexual male and have this much incoherent, nightmarish dread of female sexuality. Like, H.P. Lovecraft probably had less issues than these wowsers. ”
H.P Lovecraft was one virulently racist fucker, so that’s really saying something. Are you familiar with what he named his cat? Holy shit. I’ve gone right off reading his books. I also feel uncomfortable about people who worship at the foot of his graven image.
He’s right, of course. What he doesn’t mention — doesn’t know — is that copulins don’t just smell like butter: They are butter. Smart women know this and use this knowledge to their advantage. (Wink.)
Ladies, whenever I need anything at all, I follow these simple steps:
1. Smear butter on my body.
2. Step outside onto my busy city street.
3. Grab the men who fall at my feet and pull them into my building.
4. Assign them chores: cooking, cleaning, neck massage, listening to my “problems,” cleaning the litter box, extracting my impacted wisdom teeth, and so on.
5. Afterward, we visit their ATMs.
The best part? They don’t know what hit them. The law can’t touch me!
Poor, dear Sandman. His blog is “Women Need Constant Supervision.” What he doesn’t understand is that any man who gets close enough to a woman to supervise her falls under her hypnotic spell. So Sandman, a victim of enchantment, thinks that the way to break the spell is to supervise women — thus leading him to become more and more a prisoner of enchantment.
Bwa-ha-ha!
“Wasn’t there a Gator a while back who argued that Anita Sarkeesian was using hypnosis techniques in the Tropes vs. Women videos?”
I think Jordan Owen tried to argue something like that; that Anita Sarkeesian was at one point affiliated with some conman who did “neuro-linguistic programming,” and that Sarkeesian was engaging in this by… asking leading questions.
And he demonstrated what he thought an “honest” pitch would be, by taking Sarkeesian’s paint-by-numbers elevator speech and making it more boring.
For an Ayn Rand libertarian he doesn’t seem to know much about business or marketing…
OH GOD WHY DID YOU SAY THAT
There’s actually an anime out now that did that. Literally one of the female characters is obsessed with this guy and she made him…cookies. With her “love juice”.
I’ve only seen that clip because tumblr has a very morbid curiosity.