It’s probably about time for another open thread for personal stuff. As is always the case with these open threads, NO MRAs, no trolls, none of that shit.
Categories
Open Thread for personal stuff: November 2015 Mysterious Standing Cat Edition
Also: PIGEONS
@AltoFronto
Sounds like you’re being very proactive and taking very good care of yourself. Congratulations! I’m going to study your list about avoiding winter depression and see what might work for me.
Now I’m going to out myself as a hippie by telling you what’s worked for me so far:
Full-spectrum lightbulbs (inexpensive in the long run — about $7 to $10 per incandescent bulb).
I’ve tried Verilux and Blues Buster. Check your natural foods store.
verilux.com
bluesbuster.com
Kombucha, which is fermented tea. Check your local natural foods store or even grocery store. (Inexpensive in the short run [$3 to $4], but it adds up if you drink it a lot.)
Flower essences (inexpensive in the long run — about $10 to $15 for a bottle that can last a month or so if you take it several times a day),
There are a lot of these out there. These days I particularly like Self-Heal from Flower Essences Society (FES). It looks as though their Range of Light line might be more specifically for seasonal affective disorder.
http://www.fesflowers.com/fes-store/
http://www.flowersociety.org/depression-study.pdf
I also like this line of flower essences:
http://petessences.com/collections/all
Note that all flower remedies (all brands and all remedies) can be used on any living thing — people, animals, and plants — with no side effects or interactions with drugs.
Sometimes I take Self-Heal in the morning, put some in my cats’ water, and then run downstairs to give it to the plant in the lobby of my building.
And finally, what I learned from my late mother — who encountered many, many challenges in her life — was to keep going no matter what. Positive self-talk! Turn on some music! See the good in life! And yeah, sometimes you just have to be sad for a while. That doesn’t mean you stop the positive self-talk, etc.
I’m happy to discuss this further if you’d like.
@LG
Ha, ha, ha! Seriously.
My late mother (I seem to be talking a lot about her on this thread) was a neonatal nurse back in the day. She didn’t get paid much. And every few months she had to sit with a baby in what they used to call isolation (she was alone with the baby) and watch that newborn baby die. If requested, she would even baptize the baby if it was thought that the priest wouldn’t arrive in time. Watching a newborn baby die would rip her apart. But she did it.
And of course nurses nowadays — and doctors — continue to do this kind of work.
Coding is stressful? I’m sure that’s true.
But compared with nursing? No.
TRIGGER WARNING FOR MY PRECEDING COMMENT: Description of death.
I’m sorry to post this warning after the comment.
Hugs all around, this thread needs more hugs.
Re: full spectrum lights — most pet stores have them over by the fish and reptiles, reptile lights are usually UVA/UVB, fish bulbs you’ll have to check.
Umm… my comment seems to have been eaten! Damn computer!
Long story short, on Halloween I got drugged and lost at least eight hours. My friends say nobody took me anywhere and that they kept an eye on me. I remember perfectly walking to the bar to get a drink and I blink; I’m at home, in my bed. All my money, thank gods, but without my phone. Found it later, still working but muddy and waterlogged. This is why I only drink at my house.
@Ace
Holy cow!
I’m glad that you’re safe and sound.
And more hugs! Where’d the Barrel of Hugs end up? If anyone sees it can you drag it over?
… autocorrect turned “where’d the” into where’ dither, sigh.
I have a barrel of kittens. Would that work?
http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/kittens-barrel-bunch-baby-maine-coon-grouped-together-top-old-shot-studion-light-brown-backdrop-36514260.jpg
I should go to bed, but I think that this link (http://offbeat.topix.com/slideshow/15799/slide32 ) might make some people laugh: Some might be offensive (white female here!) but some are just the best.
My Favorite (trigger warning for rape): Dear Caucasian Neighbor, next time you would like to discuss your bigoted fears of being raped by a Big Black Dude when you come home at 330 am, please don’t do it in the hallway within earshot of a Big Black Dude. It would be greatly appreciated if you keep your ignorance in the confines of your own apartment. Thank You, Big Black Dude.
@Kat. Thanks! At least my sister (who has been drugged herself) actually believed me- the rest will hopefully learn soon, hopefully not through any personal experience of their own (granted, they’d been drinking too, but I’m a hardcored drinker, and three drinks over an almost four hour expanse would barely get me drunk- they know this). I was scared shitless, wondering what might have happened to me. The first time I’ve ever loved Facebook, since I could ask my friends WTF? without having a phone.
I went to the doctor to talk about getting sterilised. She said no due to my age (I’m 28 and have 2 kids) and said she was willing to fit the coil. I have PTSD and even the thought of going through the insertion – legs in stirrups, someone touching my cervix – made me have a panic attack in her office. I haven’t had a panic attack for a few years since I started on medication for my PTSD and depression but I guess some things can still trigger me. Anyway, when she saw this, we made a compromise – I’ll get the coil but she’ll fit it while I’m under general anaesthesia. And she says in 5 years if I’m still sure about sterilisation we can talk about it then.
@hambeast,
Thinking of you and sending you cyber support. Glad you’ve got good memories. He is still in your heart.
Thanks for the kind thoughts, all. I haven’t even told anyone at work yet; they still think I’m caring for him. Don’t know why, but I dread telling them…
@ Kat – thanks for the tips. 🙂
@Virtually Out of Touch | November 6, 2015 at 11:52 am
They see sexual harassment in a positive light. Like “sexual interest is the highest compliment you can give a person”. A famous PUA actually made that statement.
Yeah, no. I’m sure that plenty of men who say that really do know that women do not like to be sexually harassed. When they say that, it’s just gaslighting.
My wife just left the country for a 3 week work/study trip. This is the first time since 2010 that I’ve spent an evening and night alone in my apartment. This is SO lonely! I’m incredibly bored already, and it’s been less than a day. 20 more of these to follow.
Trying to get the cats to entertain me but they won’t move.
@hambeast
My condolences on the loss of your father. What a shock for you.
Mourning takes time. At some point, it won’t hurt the way it does now, and you’ll be able to just be thankful that you had a wonderful dad.
All best wishes for getting through this challenging time with as much ease as possible.
@Robert
I think that you’ll solve your problem — Why do I want to draw even though it makes me anxious? — by taking a drawing class. Or by drawing on your own. That will answer your question.
And maybe do some more of that fun public speaking too. Because you love it.
Let us know how you do.
@dhag85
Bored and lonely? Darn it.
Maybe you should head over to a coffee shop or some such and sit there with a book. I find that just having people around me can help with loneliness.
I’m sending good wishes your way. Hello to your wife and kitties.
@Kat
I love going out for coffee by myself, but I also love staying at home all day not having to get showered or dressed. So we’ll see what happens. :p
I guess at this point the personal thread is not very active, but I’ll still say something about this:
I have sincere reason to believe I would/could be diagnosed with Tourette’s syndrome and possibly ADHD (non-professional self-diagnosing, obviously), but for years I’ve been putting off letting someone look into this. At this point my excuse is basically “nahhh the treatment probably won’t do anything anyway”. So, do any Mammotheers have the same issues I do, or does anyone know if I could expect to get any positive effect out of properly investigating this?
To be specific, I have increasing problems with vocal tics (mostly throat clearing) and minor facial tics, and I recognize the feeling of “tension” or “mental exhaustion” when I suppress these things.
I’m less sure about ADHD, but I’m extremely prone to missing pieces of information, forgetting things, focusing in general, keeping deadlines, bad general awareness of time, I’m extremely impatient and can’t sit still, etc, all things I know would be considered symptoms.
Obviously I’m not looking for an internet diagnosis (although I honestly wouldn’t care), but I’m mostly wondering if other people have had experience with similar symptoms and managed to get treatment that actually helped. These things do cause quite a bit of problems for me in my everyday life.
Dhag,
I feel like you know the answer to this. If you’re having daily problems of any kind, then it’s almost certainly worth investigating. You just needed to hear yourself type it out loud.
It may not turn out to be ADHD or Tourettes. Anxiety disorders or even sleep disorders could also cause most of those symptoms. But whatever it is, there are probably treatments. And if you don’t have a known disorder, or if there isn’t a treatment — then you can scratch that off your list of things to worry about and get on with figuring out how to live with it.
Robert,
Not everyone who makes art thinks it’s fun, and many things that aren’t fun are worth doing.
Thomas Mann is supposed to have said, “A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than for ordinary people,” and while I don’t like the myth that “a writer” is a special kind of person, I recognize myself in his quote, and I suspect that artists in other media might feel the same.
As for why, well, I certainly can’t tell you. Maybe it would help to visualize step B. That is, imagine that you’ve made a piece you like. It’s not professionally-polished, but it’s well-executed enough that it’s clear what you were trying to do. What would you want to do with it? Hang it on your wall? Give it to a friend? Share it online and hope it gets “likes”? Or just file it in a drawer and look at it when you’re feeling blue?
She said no due to my age (I’m 28 and have 2 kids) and said she was willing to fit the coil. This kind of thing just pisses me off. There’s almost no decisions we don’t trust a 28 year old to make that don’t involve women’s health. And clearly, it’s not like you’re ignorant of what you’re missing. There’s a reason birth control used to be called “family planning.”
@Orion
Thanks. I suppose you’re right. It’s just one of those things that feel like a huge project and it always seems like not the right time to start working on it. Well, maybe next week! :p