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Women love creepy stalkers, and other insights from “The Females’ Harem of 6 Types of Men”

femalesharem

I found this insightful manosphere graphic on the Blue Pill Subreddit; it seems to have originally come from a blog called “Females exposed.” 

I hope all the women reading this will see this as the challenge that it is: Gotta Catch ’em All!

Click the pic for a much larger and far more readable version.

Oh, and if you’re wondering how many types of women — er, “females” — there are, apparently there is only one, at least according to Females exposed.

tiredwhore

 

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AnAndrejaPejicBlog (@A_Pejic_Blog)

My man-harem consists of a cowboy, a pirate, a sheik, a Viking, a Regency-era rake, and a kilted highlander.

peaches
peaches
9 years ago

@A Pejic Blog: Just saying that I support your support of the cutie that is Andreja Pejic.

epitome of incomprehensibility

Hmmm. I think half of the titles for the men’s “uses” are misleading. As a feeble feeemale myself, let me warn other weak women about the deception going on here:

1) Tampon Guy: Alas, men are generally too large to be used as tampons. Even if you could shrink them, I doubt they’d be particularly absorbent.

2) Beta Bucks: No, men are not generally accepted as a secondary means of currency. Don’t drag a man to the grocery store and try to exchange him for a sack of potatoes or something. It won’t work.

3) ATM Guy: Likewise, you can’t just poke a man and expect him to regurgitate cash. Besides, men would be terrible ATMs because they tend to move from place to place over the course of the day. Bank machines are supposed to be secure and immobile.

Ladies, be warned!

Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

“as per the grand old game of “eat, mate, rock” as played by predators everywhere”

So off topic, but my harem menagerie includes a puffer fish, so I’m quite familiar with “eat that!”, they don’t really breed in captivity but “fuck that!” makes sense, so wtf is the rock part of this?!

Are we doing “my man harem is”? Cuz I’ve got a Victorian gentleman, a Renaissance man, and a tank. That actually works, cuz I’m the rogue 😛

Ace
Ace
9 years ago

My harem consists of a ginger, Siamese, calico, Persian, Burmese, and long-haired tabby.

I might be doing something wrong….

katz
katz
9 years ago

Cuz I’ve got a Victorian gentleman, a Renaissance man, and a tank.

A fish tank?

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

Mels | November 3, 2015 at 9:51 pm
Six types of men? That’s it? These dudes think life is the most boring rpg ever.

Inorite? Like, how dull can you be?

Where’s my sexy redheaded thief with the glorious accent that I have to install a mod to marry damn it?

katz | November 3, 2015 at 10:05 pm
Make sure to have a fighter, a cleric, a wizard, and a rogue in your harem.

And they all have to meet the bare minimum requirements for sexy armor. (NSFW)

We can’t have our menz running around in full plate! That’s not sexy! I need to see their pecs bounce and their asses flex when they run around! I can’t play a game unless I see it, or else that’d make me…gay. [/sarcasm]

Edit: WORDPRESS MAMMOTH STAHP.

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
9 years ago

@epitome of incomprehensibility

“…2) Beta Bucks: No, men are not generally accepted as a secondary means of currency. Don’t drag a man to the grocery store and try to exchange him for a sack of potatoes or something. It won’t work…”

Maybe not in your town…(looks over at 2 sacks of potatoes, a turkey, and assorted items that will be part of Thanksgiving dinner)…I even got my man returned to me so I got all this stuff just to loan him out for a while! No, it wasn’t to the grocery store, but all the stuff! Don’t worry, I’ll share with him, wouldn’t want to have him run out of energy or anything.

Leda Atomica
Leda Atomica
9 years ago

Umh, aren’t all the guys listed ‘whoring’ themselves? They’re all looking to provide some services in order to get sex.

Also, is it normal that a feeeeemale like myself has absolutely no use for these services? Way to make men look absolutely useless.

If you’ll excuse me I have to go pose in my plaid mini skirt. I’m pushing thirty so I want to do it before I stop existing.

Argenti Aertheri
9 years ago

Katz — nawh, I’ve got five of those, I meant the rpg tank, aka my brother.

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

OH! ATM as in Automatic Teller Machine… I was thinking it was like “At The Moment.” Like just used as a temporary convenience when he was around. I guess I should have read the description… (not that doing so does any good.)

Also, how do these guys see their own friendships with other men?

Tessa
Tessa
9 years ago

Argenti Aertheri: Your brother is a tank with a rocket propelled grenade launcher? What an odd family.

rugbyyogi
9 years ago

@WWT – Yeah I looked at the ‘mentor’ and thought…hmmm – ‘friend’? Anyway, I DO have a ‘fuck buddy’. I really doubt he’d fit their image of ‘bad boy’ – I mean, he’s an accountant, but I think he’s pretty hot. He doesn’t know much about art though, it’s true.

lkeke35
lkeke35
9 years ago

Oh, goody!

My male harem consists: of Idris Elba, a giant black goldfish named Tubs, Brad Pitt, Chris Evans, a silver Aston Martin, and a large white cockatiel named Columbo.

What?!…It’s obvious that Columbo would be the intellectual mentor and the goldfish would be the Beta.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

lkeke35 | November 4, 2015 at 1:37 am
Oh, goody!

My male harem consists: of Idris Elba, a giant black goldfish named Tubs, Brad Pitt, Chris Evans, a silver Aston Martin, and a large white cockatiel named Columbo.

What?!…It’s obvious that Columbo would be the intellectual mentor and the goldfish would be the Beta.

http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/6/64395/1243841-e12o7t_jpg_see_what_you_did_there.jpg

Kat
Kat
9 years ago

I always have a few of each type around. I don’t want to run out. To me, these guys are a giant box of assorted chocolates, and each one is delicious.

And no, none of them minds the other guys hanging around.

It’s good to rule the world.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
9 years ago

I now want to play an RPG campaign where the party theme is “evil feeeeeemale sends her harem out to find bon bons while she sits at home cucking them.”

Dibs on the betamancer.

Moocow
Moocow
9 years ago

So… which one does the mammoth hunting? Or do they all join together and do it collectively and then present it to Katie on a golden platter?

@Fruitloopsie

Kudos for investigating that BS. You entire post might as well be titled “Manosphere, the abridged version”

RosaDeLava
RosaDeLava
9 years ago

I’ve never seen someone say “I’m a basement dweller” in so many words.

dhag85
9 years ago

@wwth

Aren’t Beta Bucks and ATM guy the same thing with a different title and stock model picture? The same goes for Tampon Guy and Creepy Guy.

Exactly what I was gonna say. In fact, I think all 4 are pretty much aspects of the same idea. This could be made so much simpler:

1. Hot guy
2. Not hot guy
3. Generic female

Amanda Lane
Amanda Lane
9 years ago

“I also think this “artist” ran out of ideas. Aren’t Beta Bucks and ATM guy the same thing with a different title and stock model picture? The same goes for Tampon Guy and Creepy Guy.”
@ weirwoodtreehugger, you seem to know an awful lot of it, you are suspicious suspect, lol.

ej
ej
9 years ago

a man must meet her standards and expectations so that she can allow him to date her.

Translation: “I should be able to date any woman I choose and she should not be allowed to refuse my advances for any reason, even if I am a horrible, misogynistic asshole who thinks he is entitled to a woman’s time and attention.”

Also, why is there a “creepy guy” in her harem? Most women I know (myself included) try to avoid creepy guys as much as possible. If we have a “beta bucks guy” and an “ATM guy,” why do we need a creepy guy to buy us gifts too? Why not just get a second ATM guy and avoid the creepiness altogether?

mockingbird
mockingbird
9 years ago

@Ktoryx – I’m not going to try.
It’s the best thing I’ve seen in ages.

franticcaps
franticcaps
9 years ago

Hardly the most egregious error here but…a six-figure income would put ‘ATM Guy’ in the top 5% of earners in the US. Even if we assume, wrongly, that everyone in the top 5% is male, that’s not many ATM Guys to go around. If every woman has an ATM Guy, then each ATM guy must be shelling out for, what, nearly nine or ten women at a time?

I guess that’s one way to redistribute wealth…