Over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, one Redditor tells his comrades how he developed his philosophy of life:
This seems a bit weird to me. I also played the original Sims game when it came out, and that wasn’t the lesson I drewĀ from it at all. The lessons I learned were a little, well, darker. Some that I remember:
- If you place a bunch of people in a house with noĀ bathrooms and no doors, they will be extremely unhappy, and will start leaving puddlesĀ on the floor.
- If you place a bunch of people in a house with the only toilet in the middle of the living room, they will be nearly as unhappy as the first bunch of people.
- If you build a house with no doors, chairs, couches or beds, the people trapped within it will also be really unhappy, and will ultimatelyĀ try to sleep standing up or lying on the floor.
- Building a fence around them while they’re out in the yard will do the trick as well.
- If someone is swimming in your backyard pool, and you quickly build an insurmountable wall around it, they will eventually drown.
- Actually, never mind, I think if you simply “forget” to put a ladder in the pool, they can’t get out either.
So I guess I mainly learned some very basic “don’ts” in home design, such as the importance of having a door. And in fact I have not designed any doorless — or bathroomless, or bedless — houses since then. Or any houses at all, actually.
I’m not the only one who learned lessons about the importance of doors, as the following videos I found on Youtube make abundently clear. Also, shooting off fireworks inside a doorless room is pretty much a disaster waiting to happen.
Well, you get the idea.
Have you learned any important life lessons from the Sims, or any other videogames?
I played the original Sims a very long time ago. Didn’t have a computer of my own at the time, but a friend tried to get me to play it, so…
The first time I created a character based on myself, who lived alone. Then tried to have her seduce all of the adult neighbors, regardless of sex, just because. Wish I remember how that went, but I can imagine.
The second time, I tried creating the Tendou household from Ranma Ā½, before Ranma and Genma showed up – planned to add them later, but never played a third time. I had to fudge the design because you couldn’t do second floors (or I never figured out how) and the apparent house map isn’t consistent in the series. This time I mostly left the characters to their own devices, to see if I got their personalities right. Soun mostly sat around reading newspapers and watching TV. Kasumi spent most of her time cooking and cleaning, and occasionally collapsed in the middle of watering the outdoor plants. Nabiki was mostly devoted to work (I think as a journalist or something, don’t remember). Akane spent a lot of time training in the
dojogym, and the few times she tried cooking (because Kasumi was unconscious in the yard, and neither Nabiki nor Soun ever bothered to cook) she burned down the kitchen. There was also a bit of low level conflict going on between Akane and Nabiki, but no one else. So I think I got things reasonably close.@Orion
RE: Mass Effect – it is a reference to Shiala, the Thorian clone from ME1. In ME2 when you meet with her again it seems like she it making a pass at you. I personally reacted by thinking “ew”, and couldn’t work out what the basis of that reaction was, until I remembered I had killed her clones about half a dozen times.
So I learned something new about myself that day, because there is no way that situation could come up in real life.
Dwarves are not Homo sapiens…
Except in Shadowrun.
Guildwars 2 – It’s all very well to think you’re a unique beautiful immortal uncorruptible elf, but because of dragons WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, CAN WE MORDREMOTH?!
@vaiyt:
In Dwarf Fortress, once one human has seen a trap and has survived leaving the map, every other human until the end of time will know where that trap is and will avoid it, because they have perfect memories and excellent communication. It’s the thing that makes humans aggravating to fight, just like elves are aggravating because of their stealth skills.
Call of Duty taught me ‘MURICA!
it’s okay to draw on the walls and bite people (Okami)
Ooh, who else on Mammoth plays Guildwars 2? Or better yet, League of Legends? Those are my 2 multiplayer games, if you don’t count Mass Effect. Or Dominions 4.
I learned that if we really want to defend ourselves against invaders from space we should probably invest in a faster firing gun.
Sims has thaught me that there is a darkness inside the human heart:
http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/
Starcraft has thaught me that I REQUIRE MORE VESPENE GAS and should CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS (just let it go, Artanis).
World of Warcraft has thaught me that I AM NOT PREPARED.
Red Faction has told me that when a revolution promises to smash the fascists, they mean that literally.
Seriously…WTF is this? It’s torture porn!
@lordcrowstaff:
Ah, Seanbaby. The inventor of being funny on the internet.
O/T
More about online harassment and SXSW panels:
http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2015/10/sxsw_canceled_panels_here_is_what_happened.html
Sleeping Dogs taught me that you should never trust English cops in Hong Kong, and that if I drink an energy drink I’ll hurt people more when I hit them.
Skyrim taught me that all diseases can be cured with a potion made of crab shell and burned ratskin.
The only game I ever really got into was wayyyyy back in the 80s. Tempest. It taught me that if I run around fast and erratically enough firing a weapon as fast as I can, I can SOLVE THE PROBLEM.
Halo taught me that there’s no accounting for taste.
@leftwingfox
Thanks for the best laugh of today!
Let’s see what games have taught me…
Omega (roguelike):
– You can wear Seven League Boots only outside of the city, and you’d best to take them off when you enter one.
– Cheating will get you very far, and rich.
– Ditto for lying in questionnaires.
Angband (roguelike):
– You live only once. Death happens very fast, and in unexpected places. Most often in expected places, though.
– You have no idea how screwed up you will be in next two moves, until that very colorful D breathes on you.
– Packs of hounds are bad news. No, those puppies won’t cuddle you.
– Slimes and molds are even worse news. Especially in pits.
– Always keep multiple copies of your favorite books. At least five of them, lest they get stolen or burned.
– Pickpocketing unique monsters are the worst.
– Anything that increases your speed will also escalate your metabolism.
– Being a smart spellcaster is easier than being a big, muscled lunkhead of meatwall.
Master of Orion 2:
– Every planet in the galaxy will be mine. MINE.
– Omniscience is your best friend if you’re a control freak.
– Always customize yourself.
– There’s no such thing as “too many phasors” in a Doomstar.
– Using Stellar Converters against planets is frowned upon by everyone else.
Oh! I have new lessons!
ā I can solve just about any problem presented by eating things (my surroundings, my enemies, my allies), pooping them out, and then funding creative uses for their remains.
ā Try to touch everywhere that you see
You never know what will pop up / out.
* These lessons may only be applicable if you’re an adorable yarn-dinosaur.
Also: I don’t think I can quote and applaud all of the wonderful lessons learned so far – there are just too many š
Y’all have truly sucked the marrow of knowledge and wisdom from vidya š
Disgaea told me that people can be labeled angels and be horrible persons, while being labeled a demon and a bad person don’t mean you’re a jerl ; that being sincere beat trying to please ; that someone can be forced to act like a jerk because of outside circumstance ; that all the willpower of the world as well as being able to destroy an entire fleet of space ship is not alway enough to save your loved one.
In contrast, the advice given by all thoses manospherians are way too ham fisted to be useful. They aren’t even consistently wrong enough to serve as a guide to not be an horrible person.
Oh, my lesson from Witcher 3:
http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/a91/d51/f57/resized/x-all-the-things-meme-generator-do-all-the-things-cf3e7d.jpg
This includes finding all the Gwent Cards.
This is, at least, MY takeaway.
At this point, I think my husband’s pretty frikkin’ tired of my playing the game, though.
Hello.
Hmm, it have already said but anyway…
I have learnt from Mario that eating mushroom, you become taller and bigger. And i have learnt from life that in fact, the red or green caped ones may not have such an effect… orz
I have learnt from Zangband (a variant of Angband cited by @skiriki) that hacking and slashing without thinking is the fastest way to a swift and painful death. Oh, that and breeders. Breeders everywherargl…
I have learnt from most of Japanese so-called RPG that if my mother (or seldomly another relative) wakes me up one day, i am doomed to save the world.
And i have learnt from old dating simulations that you can be the master of a harem being some kind of jerk to women on one side, and giving them presents on the other side often lead to a “happy” conclusion, or at least make their interest in me increasing. And it was long before “Matrix” and its red pill. Brace yourselves, women, here i come with this mighty knowledge ! (Be afraid. Be very afraid)
Have a nice day.
What I’ve learned from videogames:
Don’t harm “defenseless” farm animals. (Legend of Zelda)
Pink doesn’t equal “weak”. (Kirby. F***ING GALACTA KNIGHT.)
The world isn’t round, it’s cubic. (Minecraft)
Even a poop can hold something valuable. (Binding of Isaac)
You can admit that something you like is flawed and STILL like it. (Sonic 2006)
@PI – oooh, that shoppe Keep game looks fun! I’ll have to put it on my watch list. š
What I’ve learned from the massive amounts of games I’ve played…
If your friends don’t like you, give them lots of random gifts.
If it’s not nailed down you can sell it for gold.
If it is nailed down, you can steal a hammer and sell it for gold (the nailed down thing, not the hammer)
Bad guys almost ALWAYS monologue at some point in the game.
The ability to skip exposition is priceless.
Well written exposition you don’t want to skip is more so.
The Mayor of Sim City is always a power hungry evil person. XD
You can stop a burglary by building a room to house burglars until they die.
Death likes a good coffee and will always raid the fridge.
Make sure you check your stock of potions BEFORE the boss fight, not after.
Friends help friends dungeon run.