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MGTOW: I learned how to live my life from The Sims

I told you fireworks were a bad idea.

Over on the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, one Redditor tells his comrades how he developed his philosophy of life:


I learned mgtow from the original Sims (self.MGTOW) submitted 4 days ago by onbakeplatinum Way back when the original Sims came out and I was 14, I tried to play as my actual family. That turned out to be a complete nightmare, trying to control multiple people, always being short on money, dealing with their moods and unwillingness to do anything, etc. Then I played as just a single Sim. The game became ridiculously easy. I only had to manage one person, could live in a small house, and train/go to work all the time. My Sim was extremely happy. She became rich and I pimped her small house (I tried to make the smallest house possible) with the highest quality items. I maxed out all her stats. I don't remember much else. But it occurred to me way back then that this was how I wanted to live my life. Alone and simple. I didn't NEED to have a family like everyone else and manage/deal with other people. I could live in a small (but nice) place because it's just me, and even though I don't make much money, it's only me I have to worry about.

This seems a bit weird to me. I also played the original Sims game when it came out, and that wasn’t the lesson I drew from it at all. The lessons I learned were a little, well, darker. Some that I remember:

  • If you place a bunch of people in a house with no bathrooms and no doors, they will be extremely unhappy, and will start leaving puddles on the floor.
  • If you place a bunch of people in a house with the only toilet in the middle of the living room, they will be nearly as unhappy as the first bunch of people.
  • If you build a house with no doors, chairs, couches or beds, the people trapped within it will also be really unhappy, and will ultimately try to sleep standing up or lying on the floor.
  • Building a fence around them while they’re out in the yard will do the trick as well.
  • If someone is swimming in your backyard pool, and you quickly build an insurmountable wall around it, they will eventually drown.
  • Actually, never mind, I think if you simply “forget” to put a ladder in the pool, they can’t get out either.

So I guess I mainly learned some very basic “don’ts” in home design, such as the importance of having a door. And in fact I have not designed any doorless — or bathroomless, or bedless — houses since then. Or any houses at all, actually.

I’m not the only one who learned lessons about the importance of doors, as the following videos I found on Youtube make abundently clear. Also, shooting off fireworks inside a doorless room is pretty much a disaster waiting to happen.

Well, you get the idea.

Have you learned any important life lessons from the Sims, or any other videogames?

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Snowberry
Snowberry
5 years ago

I played the original Sims a very long time ago. Didn’t have a computer of my own at the time, but a friend tried to get me to play it, so…

The first time I created a character based on myself, who lived alone. Then tried to have her seduce all of the adult neighbors, regardless of sex, just because. Wish I remember how that went, but I can imagine.

The second time, I tried creating the Tendou household from Ranma ½, before Ranma and Genma showed up – planned to add them later, but never played a third time. I had to fudge the design because you couldn’t do second floors (or I never figured out how) and the apparent house map isn’t consistent in the series. This time I mostly left the characters to their own devices, to see if I got their personalities right. Soun mostly sat around reading newspapers and watching TV. Kasumi spent most of her time cooking and cleaning, and occasionally collapsed in the middle of watering the outdoor plants. Nabiki was mostly devoted to work (I think as a journalist or something, don’t remember). Akane spent a lot of time training in the dojo gym, and the few times she tried cooking (because Kasumi was unconscious in the yard, and neither Nabiki nor Soun ever bothered to cook) she burned down the kitchen. There was also a bit of low level conflict going on between Akane and Nabiki, but no one else. So I think I got things reasonably close.

Garen Truscott
5 years ago

@Orion

RE: Mass Effect – it is a reference to Shiala, the Thorian clone from ME1. In ME2 when you meet with her again it seems like she it making a pass at you. I personally reacted by thinking “ew”, and couldn’t work out what the basis of that reaction was, until I remembered I had killed her clones about half a dozen times.

So I learned something new about myself that day, because there is no way that situation could come up in real life.

vaiyt
5 years ago

– All homo sapiens have the unerring ability to remember everything they’ve ever seen.

Dwarves are not Homo sapiens…

Orion
5 years ago

Except in Shadowrun.

steampunked (@steampunked)

Guildwars 2 – It’s all very well to think you’re a unique beautiful immortal uncorruptible elf, but because of dragons WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, CAN WE MORDREMOTH?!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@vaiyt:
In Dwarf Fortress, once one human has seen a trap and has survived leaving the map, every other human until the end of time will know where that trap is and will avoid it, because they have perfect memories and excellent communication. It’s the thing that makes humans aggravating to fight, just like elves are aggravating because of their stealth skills.

Matthew Field
5 years ago

Call of Duty taught me ‘MURICA!

luco
luco
5 years ago

it’s okay to draw on the walls and bite people (Okami)

Orion
5 years ago

Ooh, who else on Mammoth plays Guildwars 2? Or better yet, League of Legends? Those are my 2 multiplayer games, if you don’t count Mass Effect. Or Dominions 4.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
5 years ago

I learned that if we really want to defend ourselves against invaders from space we should probably invest in a faster firing gun.

LordCrowstaff
LordCrowstaff
5 years ago

Sims has thaught me that there is a darkness inside the human heart:

http://www.cracked.com/blog/exploring-the-mysteries-of-the-mind-with-the-sims-3/

Starcraft has thaught me that I REQUIRE MORE VESPENE GAS and should CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS (just let it go, Artanis).

World of Warcraft has thaught me that I AM NOT PREPARED.

Red Faction has told me that when a revolution promises to smash the fascists, they mean that literally.

ljy2008
5 years ago

Seriously…WTF is this? It’s torture porn!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

@lordcrowstaff:

Ah, Seanbaby. The inventor of being funny on the internet.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago
ianrennie
5 years ago

Sleeping Dogs taught me that you should never trust English cops in Hong Kong, and that if I drink an energy drink I’ll hurt people more when I hit them.

Skyrim taught me that all diseases can be cured with a potion made of crab shell and burned ratskin.

badgersdaughter
badgersdaughter
5 years ago

The only game I ever really got into was wayyyyy back in the 80s. Tempest. It taught me that if I run around fast and erratically enough firing a weapon as fast as I can, I can SOLVE THE PROBLEM.

kiki
kiki
5 years ago

Halo taught me that there’s no accounting for taste.

skiriki
5 years ago

@leftwingfox

So, The Sims taught me I’m a lecherous home-wrecker.

Thanks for the best laugh of today!

Let’s see what games have taught me…

Omega (roguelike):
– You can wear Seven League Boots only outside of the city, and you’d best to take them off when you enter one.
– Cheating will get you very far, and rich.
– Ditto for lying in questionnaires.

Angband (roguelike):
– You live only once. Death happens very fast, and in unexpected places. Most often in expected places, though.
– You have no idea how screwed up you will be in next two moves, until that very colorful D breathes on you.
– Packs of hounds are bad news. No, those puppies won’t cuddle you.
– Slimes and molds are even worse news. Especially in pits.
– Always keep multiple copies of your favorite books. At least five of them, lest they get stolen or burned.
– Pickpocketing unique monsters are the worst.
– Anything that increases your speed will also escalate your metabolism.
– Being a smart spellcaster is easier than being a big, muscled lunkhead of meatwall.

Master of Orion 2:
– Every planet in the galaxy will be mine. MINE.
– Omniscience is your best friend if you’re a control freak.
– Always customize yourself.
– There’s no such thing as “too many phasors” in a Doomstar.
– Using Stellar Converters against planets is frowned upon by everyone else.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

Oh! I have new lessons!

● I can solve just about any problem presented by eating things (my surroundings, my enemies, my allies), pooping them out, and then funding creative uses for their remains.

● Try to touch everywhere that you see
You never know what will pop up / out.

* These lessons may only be applicable if you’re an adorable yarn-dinosaur.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

Also: I don’t think I can quote and applaud all of the wonderful lessons learned so far – there are just too many 😀

Y’all have truly sucked the marrow of knowledge and wisdom from vidya 😀

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
5 years ago

Disgaea told me that people can be labeled angels and be horrible persons, while being labeled a demon and a bad person don’t mean you’re a jerl ; that being sincere beat trying to please ; that someone can be forced to act like a jerk because of outside circumstance ; that all the willpower of the world as well as being able to destroy an entire fleet of space ship is not alway enough to save your loved one.

In contrast, the advice given by all thoses manospherians are way too ham fisted to be useful. They aren’t even consistently wrong enough to serve as a guide to not be an horrible person.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

Oh, my lesson from Witcher 3:

http://assets.diylol.com/hfs/a91/d51/f57/resized/x-all-the-things-meme-generator-do-all-the-things-cf3e7d.jpg

This includes finding all the Gwent Cards.

This is, at least, MY takeaway.

At this point, I think my husband’s pretty frikkin’ tired of my playing the game, though.

occasional reader
occasional reader
5 years ago

Hello.

Hmm, it have already said but anyway…

I have learnt from Mario that eating mushroom, you become taller and bigger. And i have learnt from life that in fact, the red or green caped ones may not have such an effect… orz

I have learnt from Zangband (a variant of Angband cited by @skiriki) that hacking and slashing without thinking is the fastest way to a swift and painful death. Oh, that and breeders. Breeders everywherargl…

I have learnt from most of Japanese so-called RPG that if my mother (or seldomly another relative) wakes me up one day, i am doomed to save the world.

And i have learnt from old dating simulations that you can be the master of a harem being some kind of jerk to women on one side, and giving them presents on the other side often lead to a “happy” conclusion, or at least make their interest in me increasing. And it was long before “Matrix” and its red pill. Brace yourselves, women, here i come with this mighty knowledge ! (Be afraid. Be very afraid)

Have a nice day.

Tizio
Tizio
5 years ago

What I’ve learned from videogames:

Don’t harm “defenseless” farm animals. (Legend of Zelda)
Pink doesn’t equal “weak”. (Kirby. F***ING GALACTA KNIGHT.)
The world isn’t round, it’s cubic. (Minecraft)
Even a poop can hold something valuable. (Binding of Isaac)
You can admit that something you like is flawed and STILL like it. (Sonic 2006)

Johanna Roberts
5 years ago

@PI – oooh, that shoppe Keep game looks fun! I’ll have to put it on my watch list. 😀

What I’ve learned from the massive amounts of games I’ve played…

If your friends don’t like you, give them lots of random gifts.
If it’s not nailed down you can sell it for gold.
If it is nailed down, you can steal a hammer and sell it for gold (the nailed down thing, not the hammer)
Bad guys almost ALWAYS monologue at some point in the game.
The ability to skip exposition is priceless.
Well written exposition you don’t want to skip is more so.
The Mayor of Sim City is always a power hungry evil person. XD
You can stop a burglary by building a room to house burglars until they die.
Death likes a good coffee and will always raid the fridge.
Make sure you check your stock of potions BEFORE the boss fight, not after.
Friends help friends dungeon run.

chthonicgames
chthonicgames
5 years ago

I learned what can change the nature of a man.

kiki
kiki
5 years ago

Y’all have truly sucked the marrow of knowledge and wisdom from vidya

I extend this message to any lurking gators – well, the first four words of it at least.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

*snort*

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

My game-given life lessons:

– Tiny-Kootie was right: Animatronic bands are horrifying and evil and ought to be avoided at all costs. (FNAF)
– The best way to break up a traffic jam is to yell at it from a helicopter. (SimCopter)
– Nothing in the world is more persuasive than the word “Wololo” (AoE1)
– Water slide dinghies are surprisingly explosive. Don’t crash them. (RCT 1, 2)
– When in doubt, turn into a brick. (SSB – Kirby FTW)
– I should make eight decisions a day. (Stanley Parable)
– Gold-digging gophers are freaking useless. (Yukon Trail)
– Life as a silver sprat is pretty much terrible. (Odell Down Under)
– T-rexes are simply triceratops that got hopped up on pineapple. (Trog)
– If your teammate is running the other way, you probably ought to turn around and follow them. (Any FPS involving grenades)
– Delivering newspapers from your bike is one of the highest-risk professions on the planet. Also: people newspaper subscribers are super fickle jerks. (Paperboy)
– My brother is a dirty cheater, even when games are programmed in a way that do not leave any room for cheating (Mario Party – SERIOUSLY HE NEVER LOSES, NOT EVEN THE LUCK-BASED THINGS)
– You probably won’t be good at something straight away. It takes patience and practice. Don’t give up too fast. (Technically my parents are the ones who taught this to me—I got an NES for my sixth birthday, and had dissolved into tears on Super Mario Bro’s 1-1.)

Lisa C (@hppykittystudio)

I learned from Final Fantasy that I would much rather commute via Chocobo. RPG console games also taught me that carrying capacity rules fly out the window when it comes to gold coins or other currency.

Dreamer
Dreamer
5 years ago

@Kat – thanks for the link to the SXSW article. That the author considered having her mom swatted as being under the radar reveals how much bullying is considered normal.

Kootiepatra
5 years ago

Oh, and one actually from the Sims: Keep your most expensive piece of art on the top floor, so police can get to your house while your burgler is still leisurely sauntering down the staircase.

dhag85
5 years ago

Oooh, I have also learned from Pro Evolution Soccer 2016 that if I pick the default appearance for my manager character and name him “Manbro Everyboy”, I will never ever stop giggling to myself.

zoyamars
5 years ago

In a way, Pokemon taught me that eye contact is terrifying and should be avoided when you’re trying to get something done.

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
5 years ago

There’s one game that I actually learned a lot of non-comedy things from: Victoria 2. From it I learned:

– The geography of China, including where all the cities and provinces are.
– The geography the US.
– The history of the runup to the American civil war.
– The history of the runup to German unification.
– The story of the Congo conference.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Point-and-click adventure games taught me to pick up absolutely anything and store it somewhere on my person for later use. This includes other people’s property. It’s not robbery if you’re a hero!

Orion
5 years ago

test

guy
guy
5 years ago

If someone rambles incoherently, may respond to questions by apologizing and saying that voice isn’t here now, and speaks in obtuse metaphor, pay extremely close attention to everything they say and hunt through it for knowledge of the future. (VtM:Bloodlines)

Fabe
Fabe
5 years ago

Dwarves are not Homo sapiens…

Except in Shadowrun.

In shadowrun Dwarves are Homo sapiens pumilionis

Falconer
5 years ago

@sheehank:

Dwarf Fortress taught me a few things

7: Microcline is the greatest of all stones.
8: The instant a child grows up, they will become Mayor.

9: Never carve bedrooms in a marble layer, it creates too much wealth too quickly.
10: People hate it when they have to walk past their dead relatives every day.
11: Be patient, the dwarves will get to it eventually, even if you need it right now.

@Garen Truscott:

Daggerfall: Vagrancy is the worst of all crimes.

I wanted to rob a place in the capitol once, so I waited until after dark. When the wait screen went away, the first thing the game did was scream “VENGEANCE!” at me. I jumped six inches.

(If you buy certain Bethesda games off GOG, they’ll give you Arena and Daggerfall free.)

What I learned from games? Too many people are playing games, and not living life.lol

Well, the important thing is that you’ve found a way to feel superior.

Falconer
5 years ago

@Viscaria:

Point-and-click adventure games taught me to pick up absolutely anything and store it somewhere on my person for later use. This includes other people’s property. It’s not robbery if you’re a hero!

Grim Fandango taught me to pick up a fire extinguisher early, and carry it around with me for years, because it will eventually become useful.

anon
anon
5 years ago

Talk about being on the cusp of self awareness.

He was just this close to learning that he can live a happy fulfilling life if he doesn’t try to control or manipulate people.

Falconer
5 years ago

More Bioware games than I can count off the top of my head have taught me to beware recruiters. Whoever gets you running around Neverwinter, or recruits you into the Jedi Order, or maybe even just survives the destruction of your village and dojo with you, will eventually Turn Evil and you’ll have to fight her. For some reason it’s usually a her.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
5 years ago

Here’s another one:

Someone crouching is definitely about to steal your stuff. (Fallout and the elder scrolls)

Nuclear Armageddon actually represents a slight economic improvement for lots of small towns in the Mojave. (Fallout new Vegas)

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

On top of the important lesson “it’s not theft if you’re a hero!*” I’d add “if it’s important, it probably glows at least a little bit”.

* Sometimes, though, it’s only unless a guard sees you.

Oh! From Red Dead Redemption: Shooting a vitriolic anti-Semitic shopkeeper in the face can be both fun and relatively consequence-free as long as you flee the scene with enough haste.

dhag85
5 years ago

– I am exactly 2 blocks tall.

freemage
5 years ago

weirwoodtreehugger | October 29, 2015 at 6:16 pm

I will check out Marvel Puzzle Quest. Sounds fun.

Woohoo! A (potential) convert!

Some advice: The game has a fairly intricate ‘economy’. Each character (they have heroes and villains) has three strong colors (out of six). Most of them have powers for each color (a few only have two, with the third color still being strong on base damage, but not generating any special ability). You improve powers by collecting covers of a particular character. Powers are ranked from one to five, and you can have a total of 13 ranks across all three. Min-maxing is almost always the way to go–two powers at 5, one at 3, is typically your best bet.

Covers are usually awarded as random card-draws, or as specific prizes for progress through the stories. Covers are given star-ranks; there’s currently 1-4 star characters, with Silver Surfer having been given a test-run as a five-star. Different star-rankings of the same persona are considered different game-characters; there’s, like, three or four distinct Wolverines, Storms and Spider-Men.

In addition, the game centers around an element called ISO-8. Your character level cap increases as you gain powers, but you have to use ISO-8 to scale up. Over time, you earn plenty of it, though, so go mad. You can also use ISO-8 to buy the baseline random draw, but honestly, it’s better to hold onto it for leveling. If you get a cover you’ve already maxed the power for (say, 1-Star Black Widow’s Blue power is already at 5, and you get another one), you can sell it for ISO-8. The higher the star rank, the more ISO-8 you get for it.

Then you have hero points. These have many uses, but the only one you should ever actually use, ever, is opening up additional spots on your team. Anything else–cover draws, health packs, power upgrades–is pretty much a straight-up waste of the rarest commodity in the game. (If you ever want to spend real money on the game, this is where you should put it–never buy ISO-8.)

Finally, there’s Health Packs. The game structure is head-to-head teams, you against the AI (there’s technically a Versus mode, but then it’s you against an AI running whatever the other player has as their base team). Each battle represents a story event, that can be replayed for more rewards, and for story points that also get rewards (and you get rewards at the end of the event based on your ranking. Seriously, you get an almost constant flow of stuff if you play a lot.) The goal of each battle is to knock out your opponents. Between battles, you heal slowly (initially, your intro characters heal in about an hour from KO’ed; three-stars can take 5 or 6 hours). However, you also get Health Packs that insta-heal a character all the way. These accumulate over time, up to a maximum of ten in the bank.

The game will offer to sell you health packs. Never buy them.

mockingbird
mockingbird
5 years ago

Oh! I have an actually applicable one from Witcher 3:

Even your most well-intentioned acts can have horrific results.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants

From Tetris, I learned that the reward for frantically stacking and organizing stuff is: more stuff to frantically stack and organize! And do it faster this time!

Parenthood is pretty much like that, except without the Russian folk music.

freemage
5 years ago

Apparently, Marvel Puzzle Quest also taught me how to rave about Marvel Puzzle Quest. Sorry for the teal deer.