UPDATE 10/25/16: If you’ve come here after reading about a petition to cancel screenings of The Red Pill, I ask you to NOT sign any such petitions. It’s just free publicity for them. Read more of my thoughts on the matter here.
Dear Cassie Jaye,
Congratulations. You surpassed your Kickstarter fundraising goal yesterday, more than two weeks before the Kickstarter campaign was scheduled to come to a close. You’ve funded the postproduction work on your long-delayed documentary on Men’s Rights activists, and then some.
But I’m not sure that the person I should be congratulating is you. Last night Paul Elam of A Voice for Men – the central subject of your film – was doing his own victory lap online. And no wonder, because he seems to be the real victor here.
In a post on his site that managed to be giddy and vindictive at once, he offered his congratulations to you, then, well, to himself. “Even though the victory goes to Ms. Jaye,” he wrote, in an awkward attempt at modesty, “I have the need to offer up some thanks.”
And then he spelled out why he thinks your “victory” is really a victory for him.
For the past six years AVFM has had mud kicked in its face by a corrupt, left-wing media. Bottom feeders like Adam Serwer, Jeff Sharlet and Mariah Blake have performed endless unscrupulous acts, directly lying to their readers in order to attack AVFM, this movement and me personally.
Their work was not just to harm me, or to damage a website but to make sure if they could that the message we carry never found its way to the larger public. Their intent was and is to paint an indelible stain on all of us so hideous that we would never be taken seriously by enough people to matter.
They have failed, and I can now predict that they have failed miserably.
In other words, Paul Elam thinks he and his friends in what he ludicrously calls the “Men’s Human Rights Movement” have bought and paid for a feature-length advertisement for them.
And it’s not hard to see why Elam – and the other manospherians who’ve rallied around your film in recent days — think this. After all, they are the ones who have rescued your film from oblivion by pouring tens of thousands of dollars into your Kickstarter.
And all it took for you to unleash this torrent of money was an interview with one of the sleaziest figures in right-wing journalism, Milo Yiannopoulos of Breitbart.
In the interview, posted on Monday, you complained that “I won’t be getting support from feminists. They want a hit piece and I won’t do that.”
There was more than a little bit of irony in the fact that you were saying this to a man infamous for his many hit pieces on so-called “Social Justice Warriors.”
You also complained about an intern on your film who, you said, “had a lot of crying attacks and emotional experiences. She claimed everything I was showing her was triggering her.”
A young feminist “triggered” and crying. This is red meat to the Breitbart crowd, and I have to assume you knew this when you told Milo this story.
To an outside observer like me, this shameful pandering looks a lot like a Hail Mary play on your part. Having failed to convince most potential funders of the film that you would present anything close to an accurate picture of the Men’s Rights movement, you told Breitbart what its readers – and the broader manosphere – wanted to hear.
And it worked. Men’s Rights activists, self-professed “Red Pillers” and other assorted antifeminists rallied around your film, and the money started flowing.
On Reddit, the moderators of the Men’s Rights subreddit “stickied” an appeal to donate to your Kickstarter to the top of their front page, urging MRAs to open their wallets in order to show skeptics that “we can take part in some actual activism and not just post stuff in here.”
Even the regulars in the violently misogynistic Red Pill subreddit agreed to help bankroll your film.
And it wasn’t just Men’s Rights and “Red Pill” Redditors who organized support for your film. One right-wing Red Pill blogger, notorious for his harassment of ideological enemies, pledged to match donations up to $10,000, describing your documentary as “the Movie SJWs Do Not Want You to See.”
Meanwhile, on her blog, AVFM’s “social media director” Andrea Hardie (an internet bully better known under her pseudonyms Janet Bloomfield and “Judgy Bitch”) not only rallied her readers around your Kickstarter but also set up a gofundme of her own, raising money in hopes that it would buy Breitbart’s Yiannopoulos a producer credit in your film. (I hope that is out of the question, even if she raises more than the paltry amount she’s raised for this purpose so far.)
And then there was Elam himself, on Twitter, calling on his followers to, in his words, “Help fund #RedPillMovie because fuck feminists!”
https://twitter.com/AVoiceForMen/status/658700057311506432
Accepting money from these people would seem to be a pretty clear violation of the principles you set forth in your own Kickstarter video, in which you declared that
in order to keep this film non-partisan, and respectfully show all sides to this debate, we won’t accept funding from organizations that inevitably have biased agendas.
Instead, you have chosen to take money from people who see your film as a chance to say “fuck you” to feminists. You have chosen to take money from the actual subjects of your film.
You are making a film about Men’s Rights Activists, funded to the tune of tens of thousands of dollars by Men’s Rights Activists. You are making a film about A Voice for Men funded in part by A Voice for Men.
Does that not trouble you at all? It should. In your interview with Breitbart, you noted that “films that support one side and act as propaganda do better than those that try to have an honest look.”
You said this, presumably, to set yourself apart from such propagandists. Now you seem to have cast your lot in with them.
Which I suppose makes sense, since the clips of your film that you’ve posted online so far look a lot more like propaganda than they do like any sort of honest look at the Men’s Rights movement,
I felt uneasy about your project from the start, concerned that you had been pulled in by the soothing but misleading rhetoric that MRAs spout when they are trying to sound more respectable than they really are, rather than on what MRAs actually say and do when the cameras are off of them.
But I knew you had a good reputation as a filmmaker, and heard good things from several feminists who knew you better than I did. So I held my tongue and tried my best to give you the benefit of the doubt, even when you posted clips from your film that portrayed AVFMers as heroic underdogs rather than the misogynists and malicious harassers that they really are.
When I wrote you a little over a week ago with some of my concerns, you assured me in the phone call that followed that the clips you had posted were only part of the story, that you were well aware that the MRAs you had interviewed were on their best behavior when talking to you, and that the real story of the Men’s Rights movement is far less rosy-hued. Against my better judgement, I continued to hold on to some kind of hope that you would live up to your reputation in the end.
And now, frankly, I feel like I’ve been played.
Unfortunately, it looks like you have been played too, much more spectacularly than I have. I suspect you are doing far more damage to your reputation than you even know.
One thing I have learned in five years of watching, and writing about, and dealing with, the Men’s Rights movement, is that if Paul Elam is happy about something, that thing is almost certainly terrible.
I suspect, sadly, that you will ultimately learn this lesson yourself, the hard way.
PS: In our phone conversation, you suggested that if you were able to fund your film, you might be able to finally film the interview with me that we originally had planned to do, but which fell through due to financial and other practical obstacles during the original filming of The Red Pill. At this point, I am sorry to say, that is completely out of the question.
@Slapman
Dude, you’re not really much added traffic all by yourself, and don’t go deluding yourself into believing that you’re causing any traffic to the site.
Nah, the only reason you’re allowed for the time being is that you’re a chew-toy. And while I’ll refer to the consensus of my fellow Mammotheers, my personal judgment is that your entertainment value has expired a while ago.
@Shapman
Actually there is a crossover. The sort of person who espouses your kind of bollocks is exactly the sort of person who used to post at ‘The Panda’s Thumb’ telling me the Earth is only 6000 years old.
SO many of them are engineers.
So, u know, it’s feasible,
Tell me, as you’re Candian – are u Robert Byers? U can tell me – I suspect u’re not, as u can actually spell….
@ Woody
They shouldn’t, if this was Utopia. In fact we would not have to have the talk at all. You are denying the fact that women are more vulnerable to male predators (this does not mean that all men are predators). Do you think it is not OK to have some different nuances in discussions between sons and daughters? We are on a different planet. Again, my job as a parent is to teach right and wrong but also to make my kids aware that some boys and girls are not taught the same values (even though they should)
@ Dan
The fact that you used that terminology tells me where your sensibilities lie. Just for the rest of the crowd to see that I do not just take shots at women and am equal opportunity, don’t like my opinion, FUCK YOU DAN!
I’m not sure why running away is presented as some sort of ridiculous solution. In my experience, the smartest and safest thing to do if you are in a situation that seems like it’s at risk of escalating to violence is to leave that situation. Violence in self defense should be a last resort if walking or running away is impossible. But men are socialized to believe that running away is weak, so they are less likely to take that option. This would be one of those ways that patriarchy hurts men.
I also find it interesting that you implied earlier that people get punched because they’re aggressive and unpleasant, therefore they had it coming. Now you’re saying that you haven been punched quite a bit. To be clear, I do not agree that people are punched because the way they are acting calls for it, but by your logic, you are kind of admitting that you’re aggressive and annoying. Funny.
If your first post here had been something along the lines of this
“Hi. I read a little bit about this film and it seems to be getting some push back from feminists. It sounds like it’s just about how men can suffer from the way our society is too. That doesn’t seem like a harmful thing. I was wondering why so many feminists are objecting to this?”
things would have gone so much better for you. People would have just explained that the manosphere figures she is interviewing have a history of virulent misogyny and that normalizing their views can be very dangerous. We would have seconded David’s concern that taking so much funding from the MRM could mean Jaye would feel pressured to produce MRA propaganda or that she was intentionally making a pro-MRA film while giving the false impression that it was ideologically neutral.
Either you shot yourself in the foot by being accusatory right off the bat and refuse to admit it, or you came here looking for a fight.
TW: Sexual Assault.
UGH Gods. Nope I understand it now. NOPE NOPE NOPE. You do not get to claim that there is no patriarchy and “what about the meeennnz” and “The judge was mean to me because sexism” and then get to turn around and either soft or hard deny male rape. Fuck you good sir. People like you are the reason a good freind of mine didn’t even realize he was raped until he walked back the events in his mind and realized that just because boner and orgasm didn’t mean he changed his mind when he asked them to stop and they pushed forward anyways. I am done. Fuck you to hell and I hope you take I95 in the summer to get there.
Please someone tell me I misread that because if I did not then I am out of patience for this troll.
@ Pee Wee (I know you are… but what am I)
I did not demand anything jackass. I was merely making a point. If David wants to address it fine, if not…
No, Shapman, I’m mocking you because I think at this point you’re intentionally resisting actually learning anything from the people here who have devoted far more time than they needed into trying to teach you some pretty basic shit, all because you “don’t believe” in the notion that Western society is built to specifically advantage straight white men.
@Shapman
Well, that’s some fire in your belly, at least.
You are wrong in so many ways – when you were beating up kids at school (cos that clearly touched a nerve) did they tell u to fuck off; did u then use that as an excuse to beat them up further?
I’ve got to go home, the pub I’m mooching wifi off is throwing me out – but genuinely, grow up! It’s not 1996, & this whole world, it ain’t about u.
Shapman
This stupid questions were for what reason then? To not be answered? Question demands answer. You like a weasel trying not to be catch. Wriggling around and all your explanation are silly or dishonest.
@ Sinister Chicken
welcome to The Twilight Zone!
I did not know I was “soft” denying male rape. For the record, I know that male rape exists and is a problem. By me saying that I doubt most men who strike back when struck are doing so to avoid being rape is not any denial of male rape in my opinion. It is just my opinion. Show me some data which supports this theory (from North America or other developed nations) and I will stand corrected. I am sure this does not exist.
… put herself in vulnerable/dangerous situations.
So say (heaven forbid, because i DO NOT wish this on anyone if any gender) that something happens.
Guess it’s her fault for putting herself in the dangerous situation of being alive and a woman, right?
She should be able to walk the streets at night with no fear of being attacked. She should be able to hang out with friends, comfortable in the fact that everyone sees her as a fellow human, no matter her gender.
And if anything were to happen (hoping it won’t!) She should be able to tell you without being worried that you’ll blame her for it.
Because it can’t be her fault. No matter if she’s drinking, if she’s walking in the dark, if she’s wearing clothes that show skin, it isn’t her fault.
Put the blame where it deserves to be, on the person who did something. Why would you ever blame her for just *living a life*?
@Valentine: thank you for sharing, i’m glad you are in a better situation now. If you feel awkward talking to the woman on your ship, being ready to shut shit down is very helpful.
I think you sound like a very nice person, and i’m sure you are good at your job.
Re: drinking being the only way to socialise – it does suck. It keeps younger people from joining a group activity, it is expensive, and people can be shitty if you choose not to drink.
Or if you did drinknin the past and decided to stop, people feel like they need to be told why.
I try to not effin’ ask, and to not make value judgements based on if someone is ordering alcohol or not. I should also make more of an effort to shut that shit down if i hear it.
And to suggest outings that don’t cost 30$ easily. That is a lot of cash to drop on socialising with work peeps.
Evolution is, from all research, a very good way of understanding what’s happening in the biological world. Creationism, not so much.
How are you defining “The Patriarchy”? Because patriarchy as a social system has been around for multiple centuries in hundreds of different countries.
How many US Presidents have been women? Oh, right, 0. How many of Trump’s Cabinet level and “Secretary of X” positions are women? 4 out of 23 according to Wikipedia today.
For someone who is speechless, you sure talk a lot.
No, we’re not, and neither was “Woody”.
Shitman,
You were not “making a point”, you were snarkily demanding that David explain why he runs his blog the way he does and why he accepts donations and ad revenue, in some dumbfuck attempt to denigrate him. You’re transparent as fuck.
You are not nearly as clever as you think yourself to be, not by half.
@ WWTH
You might find this amusing. From a friend of mine. You only need to watch the first 10 seconds.
https://youtu.be/g5KvJQZ1xLI
I was taught to de-escalate violent situations. To avert them by being unfailingly polite and considerate, and to do such things as buy the aggressive asshole a drink or hide or run away to avoid physical conflict, but if it came down to it and someone was going to get beaten up, I was to make sure I won the fight.
My brother was taught the same thing. I heard more “Avoid, evade, de-escalate” and he heard “win the fight”. It’s probably related to the way he used to shove me against walls and scream at me. And the times he beat me with sticks. And the one time he paralyzed me from the waist down for half a day.
I’m pretty sure at this point that @Shitman is exactly the same sort of person my brother is. I can tell when a violent person is trying to avoid being perceived as violent.
Really, he needs to be banned.
@ Dan puny arms
Life did not punch me. I have two healthy, happy well-adjusted kids who love their dad, I have a loving family, a few close friends and I have my health. That is all that is important. Sounds like you are two shots away from making love to the porcelain. So who is getting punched by life again?
My guess is you are a student, no? If so, enjoy that bubble world for now because I think you have multiple life punches coming your way we you are finally out.
Rhuu, thank you 🙂 problem now is in one week i go home. But i know next captain who will come on 26 and i know he is good. Hopefully if she has some problems then he can help. She seems strong and confident but i know that can make more dangerous for women actually. Men get afraid of confident women – specially supermacho men.
@Shapman
Again, where are you getting this shit from? No one made that claim.
Oh look. A not so vague, not so hidden threat.
Just look at him wanking over the idea of DanHolme being punched.
Valentine, your fencing with the blockquote mammoth is endearing and it always makes me smile.
All right, I vote for Shapman to get banned now. Not only is he gleefully flaunting the privilege that he’s adamantly refusing exists, but he also apparently doesn’t believe that kids have to deal with or are impacted by “punches” in life until they’re out of school. Fuck him.
@Shapman
Ha! It’s funny, ‘cos I’ve just avoided two punchings on the way to the next pub where I could mooch off the wifi..
…on account of how the two wannabee punchers are ex-students and/or current homeless clients; we had a chat instead. Unfortunately I’m now at a Folk/pop so I kinda wish I’d had my hearing disrupted.
No, I’m nearly 40, mate, and have had so many different jobs u have no idea. weirdly, even though I can’t legally drive a car (in the UK), I do have a forklift licence.
But… if it’s all going so well for u, y u on here moaning? And trying to bring other people down? If it’s all good, be good!
@shapman
You expect me to do the work for you? Fine. 3 articles, APA cited. You do the rest of the work yourself.
Rumney, P. S. (2008). Policing Male Rape and Sexual Assault. Journal Of Criminal Law, 72(1), 67-86. doi:10.1350/jcla.2008.72.1.478
This one discusses police response to males who committed violence in order to prevent or attempt to fend off their rape (Spoiler alert, does not go great for the males)
Davies, M., Rogers, P., & Bates, J. (2008). Blame Toward Male Rape Victims in a Hypothetical Sexual Assault as a Function of Victim Sexuality and Degree of Resistance. Journal Of Homosexuality, 55(3), 533-544.
This one refers to the stigma men do when they do not fight back which they have been trained not to do (And the Stigma homosexual men receive when they do)
Anderson, I. (2007). What is a typical rape? Effects of victim and participant gender in female and male rape perception. British Journal Of Social Psychology, 46(1), 225-245. doi:10.1348/014466606X101780
And this one shows how most men don’t fight back because patriarchy and toxic masculinity trains them to believe that they can’t be raped by women in the first place.
See Shap. I care about men too. I am a man. My father was a man. Many of my friends are men. And I care about men’s issues like custody and male rape and male suicide.
And that’s why I am a fucking feminist! Because not only is it the right thing to do but it’s the only movement out there that also happens to solve men’s issues. Is that it’s job? No. Do we have any rights to make demands? No. But if helping people I care about also helps me then that’s a win win and if you are too ignorant and full of swagger to realize that then there is nothing that can be done to help.
But no you will strut about doing name calling and wondering why we don’t have any empathy for men’s issues. I would curse you out properly in my native language but it would set the comment’s policy on fire and frankly you aren’t worth my time.
When feminists talk about the patriarchy’s effects, we are not just making shit up. The research backs it up. Men are viewed positively by their employers when they ask for a raise. Women are viewed negatively when they ask for a raise. Women have a reputation for talking too much but the research shows that women do not talk any more than men do. Those are just a couple of examples.
Of course, the reason that DS made that crack in the first place because you disparaged research.
Women are more likely to be raped than men. Men are more likely to be rapists than women. But men and boys can be raped and women and girls can be rapists. So it makes sense to educate both boys and girls about the subject from all sides.
Are you so eager to disagree with anyone that identifies as a feminist that you have to disagree with me even when it goes against the very thing you claim to want? That is the acknowledgment that men can be victims too?
Nuance sure. The means in which rape is carried out seems to differ a bit depending on the genders of the victim and the perpetrator but you weren’t talking about nuance. You were talking about only giving your daughter rape avoidance tips (spoiler alert: those only work against the stranger rape variety, which is the least common kind of rape) You were talking about telling your son to respect women. That’s not nuanced at all.
A stopped clock is right twice a day.
Found what Shitman markets:
http://wp.production.patheos.com/blogs/daylightatheism/files/2014/01/StrawMan2.jpg