Mia Matsumiya, an L.A. musician, is also a human female on the internet, and in the latter capacity has been getting — and saving — creepy messages from creepy dudes for a decade, more than a thousand in total.
Now she’s posting them on Instagram, supplemented by some of the especially creepy ones her friends have gotten as well. Along with a wide assortment of extremely weird sexual come-ons, she’s gotten racist abuse, death threats, and, she told DAZED magazine, “pages and pages of fantasy stories about coming to my concerts and then raping me in the bathroom” from a lovely fellow who “ended up getting arrested for stalking another Asian woman.”
Here are a few of the more charming ones I found on her Instagram, though for the full effect you should probably just go there. (CONTENT WARNING: Graphic and horrifying language, rape threats, you name it.)
As Matsumiya notes, she’s “never seen a well-intentioned question that contains the phrase ‘virgin flesh.'”
But hey, it gets worse!
Wat.
Some people spend Sunday morning eating a late breakfast and doing the New York Times crossword. Pradeep here sends bitter, hostile messages to women he doesn’t know.
Brace yourself for this next one.
Are there really a lot of child RAPPERS in Japan?
You may feel the need to take a shower after this next one.
PRO TIP to all the men of the world: Never refer to yourself as “Papsy.” Ever.
This next one is perhaps the weirdest backhanded compliment ever conceived.
And speaking of weird, here’s one that some creeper sent a redheaded friend of hers.
Uh, dude, has this, er, approach ever worked in the history of ever?
That’s disgusting.
Jy3,
I was assuming he meant kiddie porn. I was guessing he doesn’t know how genetics works and he believes that because she’s petite and young looking, her mom must have been a child when she gave birth to her.
Thank you for the perspective Orion, and thanks for the link Scribbles!
The ‘virgin flesh’ stuff reminds me of Videodrome “Long live the new flesh” – can’t think of it any other way now.
On the Papsy question – in my youth I was a fucking dazzling light to all these middle aged and older creepers. They can be less crude, less insulting, but they want the same thing, and when you are 13/14 that is really fucking horrible.
I’ve definitely met my share of papsies too. The old ones are super creepy obviously, but I’ve even known a couple of twentysomethings who act the same way. Always makes my skin crawl.
Msexceptiontotherule,
I actually don’t think anyone has ever shown me their dick without asking first. I kind of want to ask some gay guys if that’s a thing, or if unsolicited dicks are strictly a woman’s problem.
Anyway, to answer your question about money, it’s a bit different because they don’t have heterosocial courting norms for camouflage. You do get people offering to buy you stuff, but without the weight of tradition, it’s more obviously mercenary. Generally they lean on the homosocial “bro” model. So you get old men inviting you to chill out, drink beer, watch sports, smoke pot, and so on, as though that were a perfectly normal thing to do with people 30 years older.
@ Ellesar
That quote was my first thought too!
Btw, did we clarify whether “Papsy” is a regular term, or was it just that bloke?
Alan,
I believe you are witnessing the birth of “papsy,” here, today.
Is it possible for a guy like me to decide I don’t wanna be a guy anymore? I’ve had enough of this shit. I’m out – but how? What do?
Orion. I’m bi. I get unsolicited dick pics on grindr all the time. I’ve gotten unsolicited flashing at a gay bar too. As well as unwanted groping etc.
No, it doesn’t just happen to women.
Papsy
A female figure of royalty. AKA urban princess
Here comes the papsy. You can’t fok wiv that gyal.
Papsy
A dog(canine animal) who likes to have sex with humans. It is called a papsy, because papsy sounds like a cute name BUT WITH A TWIST.
Eddie’s dog Victor is such a papsy, Jesse told me he rid Victor like a horse and Victor even enjoyed it. Biggest papsy in town if you ask me
Papsy
Horrible abusive father who punishes wrong answers and rewards his children by making them call him Papsy.The more times he hears someone refer to him as Papsy, the better his day becomes.Also tries to claim children that aren’t his…
Papsy NO!Please,I thought it was the right answer…aghhh
From the Urban Dictionary.
Ew, yuck, blech…those guys are just plain…blech. I might need to take another shower today, after that. Just what compels one to sit down at their computer, and write such disgusting, entitled, nasty garbage and then click send to some stranger? Oh, right…it’s because they ARE disgusting, entitled, and nasty.
@Wetherby: thank you for that article. For the longest time, I’ve seen those “mental patient” Halloween costumes and thought “how is this not terrible and offensive?” I like how the article (spoiler) shows the same two people dressed in normal clothing for each mental illness. I’m all for having fun on Halloween, but it can and should be without marginalizing a whole very large group of human beings.
Joel,
Thanks. I suppose I’ve been quite lucky. Logically, I figured that if men are doing it to women they must be doing it to men. But whereas women discuss it a lot, I tried to recall ever hearing men complain about unsolicited pics and I couldn’t remember any mention of it.
I’m a guy who’s gotten Papsied in person, and, yeah, the best Papsies are the ones who don’t let you know they’re Papsies until well into the game. In my case, it was general shooting the shit in the sauna at the gym which lead to him mentioning he and his wife were having a kid soon which lead to him commenting on me being uncircumcised and they’d have to decide what they wanted to do and could I answer a few questions about growing up uncut which ultimately ended up with him asking if he could, um, orally verify that my penis was as clean as I said it was.
Daaaaamn, Pithy. Sounds like Roosh better watch his back, cause there’s a new top PUA in town.
I had my share of Papsy encounters, the first one being at 12.
Something tells me that Papsy probably has a fear of law enforcement, or even outsiders, ever coming into his home because so many creepers like that have really disturbing shit in their houses. Things like shrines to young female celebrities all the way to child porn and propositions to underaged girls on their computers.
Several years ago I was wandering through a Barnes and Noble and there was a Papsy type sitting on the floor in the art (I guess) section with nearly the anime/manga books pulled out and spread out around him. He would flip through the pages until he found pictures of where the anime/manga girls were in skimpy outfits or posed coquettishly. He’d stop at the page and just stare.
He was creeping out the teenage kids who were browsing around him. Management chased him out finally.
*endless horrified screaming*
Orion, yeah, certainly a contender. The thing that got me is how seamless it was, to the point that I’m not sure even today what was a script and what was happenstance; for instance, the comment about expecting a kid was mentioned when there were a bunch of us in the sauna.
(At least he asked before he touched; I’ve been in situations where my foreskin is the black people’s hair of genitalia.)
Oh man that reminded me of something I hadn’t thought about in years: this one time when I was like 15, I was in a Barnes and Noble – sitting on the floor, reading – and this older guy (don’t remember how old – maybe not quite Papsy age but, um, a young Papsy) sat down on the floor next to me and started very conspicuously paging through a porn mag. While going through the magazine, he was also gently nudging it towards me – he obviously wanted me to look at it and respond somehow. I got up and took another spot on the floor, and a minute later the guy sat down next to me again and started doing the same thing, but with a bit more focus and deliberation. I then found another spot where it would be really difficult for anyone to sit next to me; the guy got up, looked at me, then slunk away. I’m not sure what the guy hoped would happen, but nothing good, I’m sure.
On the whole “East Asian women are submissive” thing.
I think a big part of it comes from the fact that unless you’re black, most white people here in the US seem to assume you’re an immigrant. Along with this, comes the stereotype of controlling traditionalist Asian families, and they probably assume every Asian woman they see has been in the country for like a week and will do whatever a white man says because they’ve “been learned.” (That’s an actual phrase I saw on an anime discussion somewhere, made my damn skin crawl.)
*unless you’re white or black, I should say
Wanders in, sees the urban dictionary thing, and the sauna thing…
http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/oh-shi.gif
I had a Papsy experience on OK Cupid. The guy was about 15 years older than me, so not as creepy, but he started with a novella about how wonderful he thought I was. It was kind of sweet and flattering, but we didn’t seem to have much in common based on his profile, so I ignored him (this was after I’d learned never to respond if uninterested). He sent me a mostly nice but somewhat entitled message asking why I wasn’t interested and telling me how much we have in common (but never sharing what those commonalities might be). Then he just kept sending message after message getting obsessive over what possible reason I might have for not replying to him ever and begging me to just tell him why I wasn’t interested. It was actually really sad and I felt bad for him, but I didn’t respond because if I did the response I would get back would be either an attempt to change my mind or anger and verbal violence. No thanks.
Oh, and because people (some commenters on that Instagram, for instance) insist on believing that the problem is these guys being “too honest” or “too forward,” I wanna say this: it’s not. This schtick’s weird mixture of aggression and ambiguity is equally inappropriate in all situations. My friends get these on dating sites and social sites, but also on hookup sites and even sex work sites, and they’re equally creepy in all cases. Even when you’re hoping someone will say “you’re hot; let’s fuck,” you really don’t want someone to say “you’re hot; let me imply that I masturbate over you and then offer to buy you platonic dinner.” Even if you’re advertising sex for money, you don’t want to hear “you’re beautiful; let me buy you dinner and be your “friend” who masturbates over you.” It’s like, “Just proposition me if you’re going to,” or “my rates are posted,” respectively.
Today in missing the point, this comment on her Instagram:
“I wish I could take you away from this bullying world. Peace love and bright world. Be happy always”
I can’t find it now, but another commenter predicted that she could probably keep this going forever by uploading the comments on her previous posts.