On Saturday, esteemed Breitbart “journalist” and Gamergate panderer Milo Yiannopoulos took aim at the matriarchy in which we all apparently live by inventing a new fake holiday (and Twitter hashtag) he called #WorldPatriarchyDay.
In a labored, gratingly unfunny Breitbart post announcing the new fake holiday, he explained that
World Patriarchy Day is the day on which you should feel free to express your masculinity in the most odiously toxic manner imaginable.
He encouraged his male readers to (among other things):
- Cat-call at least five women.
- Leave the seat up.
- “This isn’t going to suck itself.”
- Commit #CyberViolence.
- Find a successful female scientist and explain basic algebra to her slowly and carefully.
And, for those men in his audience who’ve somehow convinced some poor woman to live with them, he suggested that they
leave a sandwich knife, a spread, and a loaf of bread in plain sight in the kitchen. Let her work the rest out.
He rehashed this last joke in a Tweet:
"Well, bitch? I'm waiting." #WorldPatriarchyDay pic.twitter.com/xnDJLiS2Tt
— Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) October 18, 2015
But the photo of his unmade sandwich left a number of Twitterers a bit puzzled. Why did his “sandwich knife” have a handle like a toothbrush? Was that really bread? Were the things at the bottom of the photo his feet? What the hell kind of sandwich was he making, anyway!?
One Twitterer did the best he could to label all Milo’s sandwich fixins.
https://twitter.com/theshrillest/status/655939206015946752
Soon others were posting their potential sandwich ingredients, awaiting only the arrival of a “bitch” to make them into actual sandwiches.
https://twitter.com/NyaKlondyke/status/655953981647245312
https://twitter.com/NoraReed/status/655964046785515520
@theshrillest I'm expecting the best sandwich I ever had pic.twitter.com/OwDjQWkv3A
— Jim Avery (@TheSoundDefense) October 19, 2015
@theshrillest pic.twitter.com/Khu7x2QXM0
— Dr. Janet D. Stemwedel, PhD 🏳️🌈 (@docfreeride) October 19, 2015
https://twitter.com/kara_woo/status/655957585980338176
@theshrillest pic.twitter.com/ljUtbtg0YV
— Furloaf (@ruppelsive) October 19, 2015
@theshrillest pic.twitter.com/oc8ZdJUvah
— cal50 (@cal50) October 19, 2015
@theshrillest pic.twitter.com/KaVRQxRByA
— haunted tweet (@zandywithaz) October 19, 2015
https://twitter.com/orbsonb/status/655957904772734976
https://twitter.com/khrismonegenege/status/655956290221375489
https://twitter.com/Voodoo_Ben/status/655955200121917440
@theshrillest pic.twitter.com/12fpCFH1aM
— Jonathan Blanks (@BlanksSlate) October 19, 2015
https://twitter.com/OhHeyMare/status/655954473366482944
https://twitter.com/MatthewTimmons/status/655953429135687681
@theshrillest well bitch, I'm waiting… pic.twitter.com/AZey44T3m5
— chuck 🏔 (@crowcialist) October 19, 2015
@theshrillest still waiting on that sandwich pic.twitter.com/PGZFf0h6pe
— Andy (@LotionDolphin) October 19, 2015
Joe Walsh, perhaps the most underappreciated sandwich fixin of all time.
Add your own! Extra points if your photo contains your feet.
I’ve posted a photo of my own potential sandwich above. I’ve been waiting about half an hour, but alas it remains unmade.
@zyvlyn – I’ve just never seen that flavor in the Asian grocery store I go to (and it is H-Mart, even out here in Colorado).
And since Brooked took the bullet and quoted all of his terrible ideas: so far this morning my lady brain and I have both written code and corrected code written by a male coworker. Suck it, Milo, because as you so eloquently pointed out, it won’t suck itself.
I haven’t laughed this hard in a while—tears and all.
Thanks!
@sheehank: I hang around ENworld on occasion, where everyone competes to write the harshest review of the latest RPG products, but “Fifth Edition is just about suited to make a really odd sandwich” has got to be a new one on me. (I’m kidding.)
IKR? Like if feminists started a Male Tears Day, that would be a joke, because we don’t actually make men cry, and the whole point of the day would be doing something ironically to draw attention to how it doesn’t actually happen in real life.
This? It’s just an aggressive display of dominance. He’s not trying to prove that patriarchy doesn’t exist because he clearly knows that it does. This is just him saying “I can demean women and nobody can stop me.”
If someone left out sandwich fixings, I’d probably make myself a sandwich and put the sandwich fixings away.
I’d hate for my cheese to get all crusty, after all.
Frankly I don’t understand why a woman can’t just do as she’s told when her man orders her to make him a sandwich. It’s so easy. All she has to do is spread some mustard and mayo on her man, put him between two slices of bread, and voila! He’s a sandwich.
Orion,
I honestly think Dracarys would eat fake butter. She’ll eat almost anything. She used to be a stray and even though she’s been well fed by me for almost 3 years, she’s still afraid she’s going to starve. Therefore, she doesn’t turn her nose up at everything like most kitties.
Moggie,
Good point!
First off, I love all the mocking responses! Such an antidote to this douchecanoery.
Second, it is striking how often it is for reactionary types to express their “pride” or enact their “advocacy” in ways that annoy, harass, bother or impede others. They don’t just, say, post pictures of their muscles to celebrate working out and they don’t seem to want to express the various ways masculinity manifests. This goes from mildly irritating (leave the toilet seat up so that a woman has to put it down) to harassing (catcalling).
It’s no wonder that so many reactionaries think that women want to make themselves superior or that they mistake #blacklivesmatter for wanting to murder cops. For them, “advocacy” is putting people in their place and they can’t imagine that other people don’t want to do that.
One of my exes and I used to do this thing where I’d jokingly go “Go make me a sammich!” and we’d have a giggle about it, and he’d make me a sandwich, even though he wasn’t…good at making sandwiches.
His idea of a sandwich was two lumps of cold chicken breast in the middle of some bread, some ranch dressing on top, and another piece of bread smooshed on top.
I loved him to pieces, but we both agreed I’d do the cooking.
And since I can’t do a sandwich pic, have a Steve.
http://i1307.photobucket.com/albums/s598/Paradoxys3DS/Picture%2053_zpssm9djs4e.jpg
seems his attempt to recover some dignity after his boneheaded “lolol i left the seat up” joke backfired spectacularly (the seat on his cubist nightmare toilet was down) also backfired
So we can conclude he doesn’t know how to toilet or sandwich
Even if the stuff in the picture wasn’t really weird looking, it’s fucking stupid. Some theoretical guy goes to all the trouble of getting every component of the sandwich out and laying it out, but then can’t (or doesn’t want to?) take the final step of just putting the shit together? that’s, like, the easiest part of making the sandwich. Demanding a woman make you sandwich makes sense (though is obviously still gross) if she’s going to do the whole thing, but if you’re going to do 80% of the job anyway, why not just fucking finish it?
[IMG]http://i61.tinypic.com/2qtuvk9.jpg[/IMG]
http://i.imgur.com/yA1w2OX.jpg?1
If this doesn’t work I’m giving up on posting my sandwhich
I lol’d
Seriously though, this Milo dude is straight saying that the Patriarchy is toxic. And yet they say GG is all about ethics…..
http://twitframe.com/show?url=https://twitter.com/CrilliaSlayer/status/656177537836523520
Sorry for the obvious question, how do you post pictures here. I’m used [img] and So I’m out of options here,
@crilla
You just paste the image url, on its own line/paragraph. No coding necessary.
Or, if you have magic powers, you could always do this:
http://pbs.twimg.com/media/BBs9HUACEAEhf2V.jpg
CrilliaSlayer: some image hosts embed automatically when you paste the URL (no [IMG] needed). Try your last link again with a direct link to the twitter page, instead of via twitframe.
http://i61.tinypic.com/2qtuvk9.jpg
Thank you for the help!
So is this what the Manosphere means when they say they’re “gaining ground” in the “mainstream media”?
HAM SANDWICH!!!
So, can we take a short break from mocking Milo about how he doesn’t quite know how sandwiches work…to mock Milo about how he doesn’t quite know how toilets work?
https://twitter.com/Nero/status/655541230017880064