On Saturday, esteemed Breitbart “journalist” and Gamergate panderer Milo Yiannopoulos took aim at the matriarchy in which we all apparently live by inventing a new fake holiday (and Twitter hashtag) he called #WorldPatriarchyDay.
In a labored, gratingly unfunny Breitbart post announcing the new fake holiday, he explained that
World Patriarchy Day is the day on which you should feel free to express your masculinity in the most odiously toxic manner imaginable.
He encouraged his male readers to (among other things):
- Cat-call at least five women.
- Leave the seat up.
- “This isn’t going to suck itself.”
- Commit #CyberViolence.
- Find a successful female scientist and explain basic algebra to her slowly and carefully.
And, for those men in his audience who’ve somehow convinced some poor woman to live with them, he suggested that they
leave a sandwich knife, a spread, and a loaf of bread in plain sight in the kitchen. Let her work the rest out.
He rehashed this last joke in a Tweet:
But the photo of his unmade sandwich left a number of Twitterers a bit puzzled. Why did his “sandwich knife” have a handle like a toothbrush? Was that really bread? Were the things at the bottom of the photo his feet? What the hell kind of sandwich was he making, anyway!?
One Twitterer did the best he could to label all Milo’s sandwich fixins.
Soon others were posting their potential sandwich ingredients, awaiting only the arrival of a “bitch” to make them into actual sandwiches.
— more dumplings than man (@NoraReed) October 19, 2015
— Jim Avery (@TheSoundDefense) October 19, 2015
— Janet D. Stemwedel, Philosopher Queen 🏳️🌈☠️ (@docfreeride) October 19, 2015
— Kara Woo (@kara_woo) October 19, 2015
— Furloaf (@ruppelsive) October 19, 2015
— cal (@cal50) October 19, 2015
— haunted dog (@zandywithaz) October 19, 2015
— orby (@orb_snob) October 19, 2015
— Whack Zilson (@khrismonegenege) October 19, 2015
— Jonathan Blanks (@BlanksSlate) October 19, 2015
— chuck 🏔 (@crowcialist) October 19, 2015
— Non-Elite White Person (@LotionDolphin) October 19, 2015
Joe Walsh, perhaps the most underappreciated sandwich fixin of all time.
Add your own! Extra points if your photo contains your feet.
I’ve posted a photo of my own potential sandwich above. I’ve been waiting about half an hour, but alas it remains unmade.