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#gamergate antifeminism entitled babies gender policing mansplaining matriarchy men who should not ever be with men ever men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny patriarchy that's not funny!

Enjoy These Delicious Patriarchy Sandwiches, With All the Fixins

All the ingredients for a delicious sandwich, rich in fiber and carefully formulated to help you reduce hairballs
All the ingredients for a delicious sandwich, rich in fiber and formulated to help reduce hairballs

On Saturday, esteemed Breitbart “journalist” and Gamergate panderer Milo Yiannopoulos took aim at the matriarchy in which we all apparently live by inventing a new fake holiday (and Twitter hashtag) he called #WorldPatriarchyDay.

In a labored, gratingly unfunny Breitbart post announcing the new fake holiday, he explained that

World Patriarchy Day is the day on which you should feel free to express your masculinity in the most odiously toxic manner imaginable.

He encouraged his male readers to (among other things):

  • Cat-call at least five women.
  • Leave the seat up. 
  • “This isn’t going to suck itself.”
  • Commit #CyberViolence.
  • Find a successful female scientist and explain basic algebra to her slowly and carefully.

And, for those men in his audience who’ve somehow convinced some poor woman to live with them, he suggested that they

leave a sandwich knife, a spread, and a loaf of bread in plain sight in the kitchen. Let her work the rest out.

He rehashed this last joke in a Tweet:

https://twitter.com/Nero/status/655541017580556288

But the photo of his unmade sandwich left a number of Twitterers a bit puzzled. Why did his “sandwich knife” have a handle like a toothbrush? Was that really bread? Were the things at the bottom of the photo his feet? What the hell kind of sandwich was he making, anyway!?

One Twitterer did the best he could to label all Milo’s sandwich fixins.

https://twitter.com/theshrillest/status/655939206015946752

Soon others were posting their potential sandwich ingredients, awaiting only the arrival of a “bitch” to make them into actual sandwiches.

https://twitter.com/NyaKlondyke/status/655953981647245312

https://twitter.com/Voodoo_Ben/status/655955200121917440

https://twitter.com/OhHeyMare/status/655954473366482944

https://twitter.com/MatthewTimmons/status/655953429135687681

Joe Walsh, perhaps the most underappreciated sandwich fixin of all time.

Add your own! Extra points if your photo contains your feet.

I’ve posted a photo of my own potential sandwich above. I’ve been waiting about half an hour, but alas it remains unmade.

 

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katz
katz
4 years ago

Is there any way to conclusively tell if she’ sheen sprayed?

Not without a vet exam, unfortunately. You may be able to feel her spay scar but that’s hardly conclusive. (The vets put my cat under and shaved her before they figured out she was already spayed.)

Moggie
Moggie
4 years ago

Hmm, I wonder if we could get permission to install a cat flap on the garage door. It’s an absolute clusterfuck in there, but it’s enclosed and she’s a cat, they are known for their ninja skills.

This ought to go without saying, but: make sure there are no open bottles or spillages in there. A neighbour lost a cat to ethylene glycol poisoning, after it drank some anti-freeze, which is apparently quite attractive to animals because of its sweet taste.

occasional reader
occasional reader
4 years ago

Hello.

Fnoicby the Cat 5 Kaiju | October 19, 2015 at 10:32 am

@occasional reader, you’re looking too deep. The joke is that none of these things are good for making a sandwich, because in Milo’s original tweet some of the items looked strange or inappropriate to put in a sandwich. So people are making fun by taking pictures of weird items for “sandwich ingredients”. 🙂

Hu, yes, sorry about that. Maybe so many years of a sadistic game master make my brain always think the worst of an enigma.
All in all, i think i can better understand R’lyeh architecture than the joke in this photo.

Have a nice day.

reimalebario
reimalebario
4 years ago

My girlfriend’s a succesful scientist (and a woman) but I don’t reckon I’ll explain basic algebra to her (although she is surprisingly bad at maths – not really her field). In return, I expect she’ll do me the courtesy of not treating me like an idiot just because I don’t have a college degree. I find the relationship works really well if we just treat each other as equal human beings.

happy cat
happy cat
4 years ago

What if the woman just makes her own sandwich, eats all of it and leaves the mess for that man to clean?

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Argenti Aertheri, @Maggie

This ought to go without saying, but: make sure there are no open bottles or spillages in there. A neighbour lost a cat to ethylene glycol poisoning, after it drank some anti-freeze, which is apparently quite attractive to animals because of its sweet taste.

What Maggie said.

Also, can you make the kitty house more attractive? Say, leave some treats in there or maybe catnip? SPCA or Humane Society might have some ideas.

And it sounds as though Katz’s colleagues might have some valuable advice.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

That Milo is kind of a sad excuse for a human being.

What kind of person gets his kicks from putting down a group that has been put down for, I don’t know, six thousand years?

Hey, Milo, the next time you bite into a delicious Swiss cheese on rye, I hope the cheese turns out to be yellow Legos.

In addition, I wish you holes in every pair of socks you own, including the brand-new ones.

Plus I hope that no woman ever returns your phone call.

And finally, may your every haircut be awful.

My work here is done.

skiriki
4 years ago

@Kat —

Plus I hope that no woman ever returns your phone call.

Eh, at least in dating sense, well he’s gay and he’s #BreitbartsShield, so no chance. But interviews, etc, I think that would work.

And finally, may your every haircut be awful.

Well you got your wish.

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

@Argenti

I’m no expert on cats, and I’m not sure exactly what you mean when you say she rejected the cat shelter, but unless that means she actively destroyed it, couldn’t you just leave the shelter out (maybe with some food inside?) and hope that she’ll use it if she needs it? I know it’s not an ideal solution, but it’s better than nothing, assuming you can’t get her in the house or garage.

Matthew
Matthew
4 years ago

They’re all pretty funny, but I couldn’t help but “D’aww”ing when I got to the one with the wool Yoshi amiibo. So cute~

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
4 years ago

Catalpa — it’s still out there, she occasionally basks in the sun atop it, but won’t go in.

Moggie — more “dump every random thing” than chemicals thankfully. Impossible for a human to navigate, but kitties can go over under and between far easier.

Katz — well crap. And I already asked around about a have a heart trap for the blasted skunk and came up dry >.<

Which leaves "train the dumb dog" as best idea, and the garage as the next best (I'll go through it first, I haven't tried navigating it since I started doing trapeze, maybe it'll be easier now!)

katz
katz
4 years ago

Argenti: Remind me what area you’re in? I can poke around to see if there are any TNR people in your area who might have traps (if you’re interested in trying trapping).

Ace
Ace
4 years ago

@Argenti If you check out hardware stores (not sure if you are in the US) you might be able to find wire cage traps used for things like raccoons (apparently the plural of ‘raccoon’ is not actually a word?). That might work, depending on the size of the cat and the size of the traps. Good luck! And no, my cat wasn’t a bengal. He was a mixed breed of -gasp!- black and white variety. Those dang interbreeding colors! Misandry!

@katz. Thanks for the Welcome Package! Now I have to spend hours reading the links! Granted, I’ve been lurking here for around three years, reading the comments, so I’m actually familiar with some of it. I thought there was an exam that i needed to pass to comment, and I wanted to get a 100.

Justin Trudeau
Justin Trudeau
4 years ago

Propaganda can be used as a primary method of demonizing a sector, race, gender, etc of society to obtain benefits for another class of society. In many cases, such propaganda is used to induce hatred, war and/or genocide of the targeted class. We are constantly bombarded with propaganda in our daily lives, but feminism is a most stealthy, treacherous, life destroying and deceitful form of propaganda.

The reason for the feminist obsession with rape culture can be found here:

Feminist obsession with rape is not about rape, it’s about supremacist power:

http://www.nowhitefeather.com/2014/10/23/feminist-obsession-with-rape-is-not-about-rape-its-about-supremacist-power/

How Feminism Creates Rape Culture:

http://www.reasonobeysitself.com/blog/feminism/feminism-erases-real-rape-culture/

The patriarchy didn’t oppress women. If you look carefully and beyond the feminist BS brainwashing, the patriarchy has always oppressed men in favor of women. This is why feminists are so eager to demonize the patriarchy – they don’t want you to wake up to this extremely inconvenient truth. If you recognize this truth – you gain the psychological and moral advantage – which is why the evil, women oppressing patriarchy is such a central part of the feminist shtick.

Gynocentrists and white knights use social conditioning and brainwashing to exploit men for the benefit and advantage of women. Women being exempt from the draft and men being expected to provide for women financially and to protect women with their lives are topics feminists find non-relavant to the oppression olympics. Men being oppressed and exploited – with their very lives – is perfectly fine from the feminist point of view.

Kat
Kat
4 years ago

@Ace
Looks like you “aced” the test. Congratulations and welcome!

@Argenti Aertheri
Check out havahart.com/international

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
4 years ago

Thanks guys, I’ll see what I can come up with that doesn’t result in my mother groaning about what other species it might attract (we have squirrel houses at this point, they took them from the birds ages ago, that skunk, an opossum, and suspicions of raccoons [how is that not a word?])

I don’t really want to trap her though, it took months to get her to trust us at all, I’m gonna lay some paper down in what I’ve got out there currently and hopefully manage to tell if she’s been in there and go from there (calico, so unless she leaves orange fur, could be the skunk, a squirrel, etc)

Katz — CT coast, which is why this is a thing that needs solved. We were hoping to have until thanksgiving before it got cold, but we’ve had a frost and had snow flurries Sunday (my ass, it is mid-40s, but technically it has snowed) — hence going from “someplace dry” to “someplace warm”. Dry we got — she’ll hang out in a sideways rubbermaid, so we put a bunch at different angles so she could find one that was opposite the wind, but that’s really a terribly great solution once it starts snowing >.<

I think my brother is working out how to build something she'd go for that I can run a heating element out to — I conveniently have a tank heater that can be used inside or outside a tank, but am currently a bit lost as to what to put it in. I'm sure we'll figure it out, I can keep my axolotl in the mid-70s without AC when it's pushing 100°, I'm just not used to doing the inverse (other than Darwin, but he's a surprisingly forgiving species)

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
4 years ago

Trying this for the first time…

[IMG]http://i59.tinypic.com/16ibksz.jpg[/IMG]

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
4 years ago

D’oh! Maybe…

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
4 years ago

I give us. I am fail. My pic included some dried flowers and a lint roller and a plush penicillin Giant Microbe. It was pretty good.

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
4 years ago

“up” Ugh. SO much fail. 🙁

katz
katz
4 years ago
Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
4 years ago

Cheese, crackers, cheese knives, cutting board. What are the odds these guys could handle making cheese and crackers? I’m betting that faced with a block of cheese and plastic knives, they’d be utterly lost.

SpleenyBaggage
SpleenyBaggage
4 years ago

@katz

Hurrah! Thanks heaps. I’d actually just figured it out (reading ahead) and was coming back to do that. You’re a star.

nightmarelyre
nightmarelyre
4 years ago

Very late to the party so not sure if you will see this, but @AnAndrejaPejicBlog, please do not use insults related to genitalia size if possible. While it works well as a sick burn in the moment towards douches with fragile masculinity, it also furthers some unfortunate implications related to cissexist and patriarchal beliefs of sexuality which do hurt a lot of people and might in fact also foster more douchy “alpha male” type beliefs in some people