The #MasculinitySoFragile hashtag took off yesterday after a Buzzfeed article highlighted a bunch of products being marketed to men with some of the most cartoonish evocations of old-school masculinity you could possibly imagine, from grenade-shaped shower puffs for men to Man Chocolate.
The point of the hashtag was fairly obvious: to look at, and mock, the ways these ads try to capitalize on male insecurities and suggest ways men can free themselves from destructive stereotypes of masculinity.
Because, as these ads make clear, masculinity and femininity aren’t inscribed in our genes the way eye and hair color are; they are to a large extent cultural constructs, ways of seeing, ways of thinking, ways of acting that we learn from parents, peers, and, increasingly, the media — hence the insecurity many men feel about their masculinity, and the ease with which advertisers are able to play on these insecurities to make money.
Talking about these constructs as constructs can help us to free ourselves from aspects of masculinity and femininity that are toxic or unnecessarily restrictive.
The #MasculinitySoFragile hashtag, like the Buzzfeed article that got the conversation going, broaches the subject in a funny way, telling guys that, yes, it’s ok to buy yourself a pink shower puff for $3 instead of shelling out twice that much for an Axe Detailer Shower Tool that looks like it came straight out of Gears of War.
So, naturally, the hashtag was quickly flooded by antifeminists and anxious men who saw the whole thing not as a deconstruction of the sort of toxic masculinity that’s making them anxious in the first place, but as an army of evil feminazis calling them a bunch of wusses.
Not realizing that the feminists were talking about the surprising fragility of cultural definitions of masculinity, the critics of the hashtag assumed the feminists were accusing men of being fragile. I don’t know the last time I saw such a colossal outbreak of not-getting-the-point.
As one observer sympathetic to the original aim of the hashtag noted,,
If you want to lol at dudes comically misunderstanding the premise of a joke, then check out #MasculinitySoFragile
— John Dagen (@JohnDagen) September 23, 2015
How did the “critics” of the hashtag get it so wrong? Let me count the ways.
1) They declared that it wasn’t MEN who were fragile, but FEMINISTS so there.
https://twitter.com/Bayonethics/status/646646983617175553
https://twitter.com/alWPWtom/status/646657930574569472
https://twitter.com/Luisedgm/status/646657724852342784
2) They offered to fight any feminist comers, to show the world just how unfragile they are.
I challenge any female tweeting unironically with #MasculinitySoFragile to last three rounds against me in a fight. We'll see who's fragile.
— Mech of Justice (@MechofJusticeWZ) September 23, 2015
3) They accused feminists who weren’t shaming men … of shaming men.
Men made women 2nd class for centuries, to make themselves feel powerful. Today, feminists do exactly what they hate. #MasculinitySoFragile
— Rebecca K. (@Rebeksy) September 23, 2015
Tell me feminists, how does tearing men down build up women? #MasculinitySoFragile
— Caroline Craig David (@CarolineCDavid) September 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/The_Extrange/status/646646321563176960
Dear smug feminists: Maybe #MasculinitySoFragile cuz you spent the last 40 years emasculating men.
— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) September 23, 2015
4) Meanwhile, others in their camp tried to shame women for being (allegedly) inferior to men at pretty much everything.
#MasculinitySoFragile NEVER in history will "ANY 5 Woman" equal or beat the Los Angels #Lakers in a series of 5 games – Females never equal
— Mr Jeffery Stone (@MrJefferyStone) September 24, 2015
https://twitter.com/subhamlawrence/status/646804483133976576
5) Sometimes they forgot to make an argument and just said “suck it.”
#MasculinitySoFragile any Bitches this Uses this HashTag can Suck My Dick you #FeministFuck
— Gregory Carter (@cgrgry) September 23, 2015
6) Others fell back on random insults.
https://twitter.com/scrowder/status/646664405124521984
https://twitter.com/matthewhummel/status/646783223867965440
https://twitter.com/_Jiggz/status/646830406885507072
#Masculinitysofragile – a mocking hashtag made by #feminist morons who claim to want equality-but bleat "misogyny" when mocked. #Waronstupid
— AgentofGaytriarchy (@PoliticalCynic) September 23, 2015
I like how feminists lecture men about behaving like men.
Soon, the only ones listening will be your 52 cats. #MasculinitySoFragile
— I Am Leah (@Bossy_Leah) September 23, 2015
7) They cast aspersions on the motivations, and the masculinity, of feminist men participating in the hashtag.
https://twitter.com/PolitiBunny/status/646816129902510080
https://twitter.com/AVoiceForMen/status/646843565478309888
https://twitter.com/LucasTemple/status/646832952702140416
8) Some of them decided to take the opportunity to cast aspersions on Barak Obama’s masculinity as well, because isn’t he like a feminist or something?
https://twitter.com/HensleywkAo/status/646664691146694656
9) A few used the hashtag to promote white supremacy, because why not?
https://twitter.com/UncuckTheRight/status/646887485566377984
https://twitter.com/ElStatelo/status/646752815168233472
10) They warned feminists that if they kept talking about how men are fragile — which, again, they weren’t doing — well then, these women wouldn’t be getting any more help from men with stuck jelly jar lids, and they could forget about having doors opened for them ever, much less having dudes treat them to dinner!
https://twitter.com/NotOne2bPC/status/646831693643542529
#MasculinitySoFragile. Because you can't open the door for a feminist without issues. Only a real woman would thank you for the respect.
— George (@stevets) September 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/ThinkingWeasel/status/646769296899764224
https://twitter.com/juhawh/status/646829131175448576
Ladies: You have lost a POWERFUL ALLY today.
Never again will you have a nice dinner. Or eat jelly.
Tauriq Moosa probably did the best job of summing up the whole parade of nonsense.
https://twitter.com/tauriqmoosa/status/646799858293194754
https://twitter.com/tauriqmoosa/status/646800819707342849
Yep, that pretty much covers it.
I used to have a problem with plastic soda bottles; if I reclosed the bottles after using them but did’t immediately put the bottles back in the fridge, the air inside would expand and the bottle would become impossible to open. I would sometimes poke holes in the bottles to relieve the pressure.
Then someone suggested to me that I squeeze the bottles in before screwing the bottlecap back on. That gives the bottle the ability to expand along with the air.PROBLEM SOLVED FOREVER.
Yesterday I had an issue with some code that I didn’t know how to fix. So I called over my friend and colleague Becky and asked her if she could help. As it turned out, she could. Win!
I’m not sure how MRAs would want me to respond to that. Should I not have asked her, and put up with broken code? Should I have persevered alone and thus not have had time to fix other things?
Perhaps the solution is for me to magically become a better programmer. I’m sure my Y chromosome will help me do that because rational scientific biotruths.
I kind of wonder if there’s a “One-drop rule” for asking a guy to help. Like, am I an evil feminist harpy because I can clear out most bog clogs myself, or am I a helpless girl because I ended up calling a plumber when last year’s floods lodged an entire tree branch in the u-bend? Am I an evil feminist harpy because I enjoy rebuilding computers, or am I a helpless girl because I recently took one I didn’t have the parts for to a shop that did?
Wait, I know – I don’t care! =P
@M:
You’re whichever of the two will shame you into acting in a manner beneficial to the MRA in question at this moment in time, silly.
Someone – I am sure you have solid evidence to back your assertion, and are just waiting for someone to ask you for it. So here I am- what is the evidence that feminism is less popular in the general population than it has been in recent years? Remember citing from blogs, gossip sites and ‘your friends’ doesn’t count!
Eccch, Michelle Malkin. Classic example of a right-wing woman who dismisses feminism despite benefiting herself from it. Too busy seeing feminism as some evil lefty construct to look at it with any nuance. That she’s pals with many Brietbart contributors says it all.
Listen if a basilisk wants to put me on a leash they’re perfectly welcome to regardless of gender.
But that’s just me. Pay me no mind.
https://xkcd.com/380/
That basilisk needs a man to put on a leash. Look at its hopeful little face!
I had some strange interaction because of that hashtag. I made some comments about how my comfort with my presentation (I wear kilts, and have long hair) often makes other people feel their sense of “masculinity” is threatened (these people are usually, but not always, male).
I’ve had them seek me out/follow me down the block (and into buildings), and try to insists I speak with them, after I’ve told them I don’t wish to.
So this person (who had just started following me a couple days before; and probably thinks himself some sort of feminist ally; based on the tweets I saw) tells me this is probably because I’m being aggressive/seeking conflict. I tell him no, It happens when I’m minding my own business. A bit more back and forth goes on, which is getting more patronising (including a “I’m not expressing this well in writing, can we SKYPE). and he tells me
If you are having problems you need to get some one to defend you.
Whut? I need “someone” (implicitly, I think, a man) to defend me because I’m being harassed by people who think I’m not “manly” enough. Just…. wow.
Maybe guys just like buying masculine shower accessories and being thought of as tough and manly? I mean, maybe females should realize that guys let them have all their pink frilly crap and awful chick flicks and One Direction and we don’t complain so maybe they should cut us some slack if we want to eat grenade-shaped chocolate? Is that maybe okay with feminists?
That’s… odd? What a weird conversation! You need to get someone to defend you???
@ pecuniam
But kilts are the most macho item of clothing going!?
http://1aled.fotomaps.ru/scotts-porage-oats.php
Yay, a new chew toy!
http://24.media.tumblr.com/d1d91db5b6373140b45b3616b45077ae/tumblr_n68gj1RCaO1sig16bo1_250.gif
John Arbuckle,
Female what? Are you talking about female rabbits? Mosquitoes? Grizzly bears? If you’re talking about female humans, there’s a word for us. It’s women. Next time use that. It’s proper etiquette and less confusing.
Now that we’ve got that out of the way, what are you talking about? Since when do men not complain about and denigrate products and media that are targeted towards women? Half of all bad stand up is dedicated to whining about the interests of their wives or girlfriends. I also find it creepy that you’re complaining about One Direction. Unless you’re very young, you probably don’t encounter too many of their fans. Why on earth are you upset about a pop group teen girls like?
It should also be noted that nobody is actually mocking men for enjoying traditionally masculine things. We’re mocking the people who market them and we’re mocking the notion that being a man depends on only using masculine coded products. Of course, you’re proving the point about fragile masculinity by saying that many men like to be thought of as manly and tough as opposed to actually being either of those things or using the products because of genuine enjoyment or interest.
John, I think you need to go back to the Garfield cartoons and lecture Odie or something. Feminism is obviously not your speed.
Yeah, John, like weirwood said, there is no shortage of male disdain for “feminine” things, as you yourself just demonstrated, in fact. Disdain for the feminine is what started this whole aggressive masculinization of “girly” products, so men would feel comfortable using them. Also, last I checked, we feminists have a lot to say about gendered market segmentation targeting women as well. Feminists are famously critical of feminine dictates as represented and pushed by advertisements, films, TV, and other media, and would like to return pink to its gender-neutral status. In future, please try to distinguish between “feminine” and feminist.
Kilts are the manliest. Though the fact that that may have changed in the popular imagination just goes to show how constructed clothing gender is.
@Jack Remiel lol
Someone please draw a basilisk walking a dog. Or a man.
I also just noticed how the troll is saying that men let us have girly things. I’m not much of a fan of pink and frilly things but if I want to watch Beaches or drink a cosmo, I damn well don’t ask for permission from Ratty, Roosh or any other asshole misogynist.
@boogerghost
I made a sketch
http://i790.photobucket.com/albums/yy190/MetalAmaya_photo/WP_20150925_22_27_47_Pro1.jpg
Afraid my style isn’t particularly funny, though.
Prios:
If I’m going out for a walk with a basilisk, I’d probably want to wear a blindfold for safety reasons. Then a leash would also be highly practical accessory.
This not the first time I am overcome with “Words mean things!!” frustration. Masculinity =/= men, and femininity =/= feminism =/= women.
#1 shows the cartoon person being “triggered” in a manner snonymous to being angered. Once more this actally demonstrates the limited options strictly polararized gender roles allow to men trying to fit in them rather than offer a definition of triggering a persons memories of old pain..
@GardenGallivant
I wouldn’t even say angered. The facial expression looks more exasperated and confused, mildly annoyed at worst.
Still closer than the usual “LULZ TRIGGERED HURR HURR” meme, though, which really just looks like she farted.
@John “Ratty” Arbuckle
Okay. You do that. Enjoy your $3 stick of Chapfix while everyone else enjoys a $4 3-pack of Chapstick then.
Aren’t these the same kinds of people who are against “political correctness”? Or is it just jokes about straight white cis men that they find offensive?
@Amused – The car door bit made me think that perhaps people take Keeping Up Appearances as a documentary, but, given that Hyacinth Bucket would never stoop to mere equality, even that doesn’t make sense.