The #MasculinitySoFragile hashtag took off yesterday after a Buzzfeed article highlighted a bunch of products being marketed to men with some of the most cartoonish evocations of old-school masculinity you could possibly imagine, from grenade-shaped shower puffs for men to Man Chocolate.
The point of the hashtag was fairly obvious: to look at, and mock, the ways these ads try to capitalize on male insecurities and suggest ways men can free themselves from destructive stereotypes of masculinity.
Because, as these ads make clear, masculinity and femininity aren’t inscribed in our genes the way eye and hair color are; they are to a large extent cultural constructs, ways of seeing, ways of thinking, ways of acting that we learn from parents, peers, and, increasingly, the media — hence the insecurity many men feel about their masculinity, and the ease with which advertisers are able to play on these insecurities to make money.
Talking about these constructs as constructs can help us to free ourselves from aspects of masculinity and femininity that are toxic or unnecessarily restrictive.
The #MasculinitySoFragile hashtag, like the Buzzfeed article that got the conversation going, broaches the subject in a funny way, telling guys that, yes, it’s ok to buy yourself a pink shower puff for $3 instead of shelling out twice that much for an Axe Detailer Shower Tool that looks like it came straight out of Gears of War.
So, naturally, the hashtag was quickly flooded by antifeminists and anxious men who saw the whole thing not as a deconstruction of the sort of toxic masculinity that’s making them anxious in the first place, but as an army of evil feminazis calling them a bunch of wusses.
Not realizing that the feminists were talking about the surprising fragility of cultural definitions of masculinity, the critics of the hashtag assumed the feminists were accusing men of being fragile. I don’t know the last time I saw such a colossal outbreak of not-getting-the-point.
As one observer sympathetic to the original aim of the hashtag noted,,
If you want to lol at dudes comically misunderstanding the premise of a joke, then check out #MasculinitySoFragile
— John Dagen (@JohnDagen) September 23, 2015
How did the “critics” of the hashtag get it so wrong? Let me count the ways.
1) They declared that it wasn’t MEN who were fragile, but FEMINISTS so there.
https://twitter.com/Bayonethics/status/646646983617175553
https://twitter.com/alWPWtom/status/646657930574569472
https://twitter.com/Luisedgm/status/646657724852342784
2) They offered to fight any feminist comers, to show the world just how unfragile they are.
I challenge any female tweeting unironically with #MasculinitySoFragile to last three rounds against me in a fight. We'll see who's fragile.
— Mech of Justice (@MechofJusticeWZ) September 23, 2015
3) They accused feminists who weren’t shaming men … of shaming men.
Men made women 2nd class for centuries, to make themselves feel powerful. Today, feminists do exactly what they hate. #MasculinitySoFragile
— Rebecca K. (@Rebeksy) September 23, 2015
Tell me feminists, how does tearing men down build up women? #MasculinitySoFragile
— Caroline Craig David (@CarolineCDavid) September 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/The_Extrange/status/646646321563176960
Dear smug feminists: Maybe #MasculinitySoFragile cuz you spent the last 40 years emasculating men.
— Michelle Malkin (@michellemalkin) September 23, 2015
4) Meanwhile, others in their camp tried to shame women for being (allegedly) inferior to men at pretty much everything.
#MasculinitySoFragile NEVER in history will "ANY 5 Woman" equal or beat the Los Angels #Lakers in a series of 5 games – Females never equal
— Mr Jeffery Stone (@MrJefferyStone) September 24, 2015
https://twitter.com/subhamlawrence/status/646804483133976576
5) Sometimes they forgot to make an argument and just said “suck it.”
#MasculinitySoFragile any Bitches this Uses this HashTag can Suck My Dick you #FeministFuck
— Gregory Carter (@cgrgry) September 23, 2015
6) Others fell back on random insults.
https://twitter.com/scrowder/status/646664405124521984
https://twitter.com/matthewhummel/status/646783223867965440
https://twitter.com/_Jiggz/status/646830406885507072
#Masculinitysofragile – a mocking hashtag made by #feminist morons who claim to want equality-but bleat "misogyny" when mocked. #Waronstupid
— AgentofGaytriarchy (@PoliticalCynic) September 23, 2015
I like how feminists lecture men about behaving like men.
Soon, the only ones listening will be your 52 cats. #MasculinitySoFragile
— I Am Leah (@Bossy_Leah) September 23, 2015
7) They cast aspersions on the motivations, and the masculinity, of feminist men participating in the hashtag.
https://twitter.com/PolitiBunny/status/646816129902510080
https://twitter.com/AVoiceForMen/status/646843565478309888
https://twitter.com/LucasTemple/status/646832952702140416
8) Some of them decided to take the opportunity to cast aspersions on Barak Obama’s masculinity as well, because isn’t he like a feminist or something?
https://twitter.com/HensleywkAo/status/646664691146694656
9) A few used the hashtag to promote white supremacy, because why not?
https://twitter.com/UncuckTheRight/status/646887485566377984
https://twitter.com/ElStatelo/status/646752815168233472
10) They warned feminists that if they kept talking about how men are fragile — which, again, they weren’t doing — well then, these women wouldn’t be getting any more help from men with stuck jelly jar lids, and they could forget about having doors opened for them ever, much less having dudes treat them to dinner!
https://twitter.com/NotOne2bPC/status/646831693643542529
#MasculinitySoFragile. Because you can't open the door for a feminist without issues. Only a real woman would thank you for the respect.
— George (@stevets) September 23, 2015
https://twitter.com/ThinkingWeasel/status/646769296899764224
https://twitter.com/juhawh/status/646829131175448576
Ladies: You have lost a POWERFUL ALLY today.
Never again will you have a nice dinner. Or eat jelly.
Tauriq Moosa probably did the best job of summing up the whole parade of nonsense.
https://twitter.com/tauriqmoosa/status/646799858293194754
https://twitter.com/tauriqmoosa/status/646800819707342849
Yep, that pretty much covers it.
I stopped reading after a few tweets. The talking points are always the same, and they always come from the same oversimplified, meme based, internet dumb.
Surprised this one didn’t make it in:
//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Ha! I need some furniture moving into the house today It’s too heavy to move on my own. It’s awkward and wide, I don’t think the world’s strongest man (or woman) would want to move it on his/her own. Guess, who I asked? A woman. And I’ll open my own damn jelly jar, thanks…
…And of cause lame Paul Elam ALSO jumped on the train. *Facepalm*
It wouldn’t surprise me if a lot of this confusion comes from just not being familiar with the feminist concept of masculinity. Someone needs to hit these guys with a clue-by-four and let them know that “masculinity” does not mean “definition of man.”
I saw one tweet asking how it is that “for him” products were the fault of men seeking those products out, but “for her” products were the result of corporate manipulation. I wanted to ask him if he’s ever seen a guy complaining about all the dark colors and hard edges stores want to sell him, and maybe he wants something pink and frilly, but apparently those are only for girls.
Ooh! Paul Elam weighed in. He’s always so interesting. Not at all hateful!
…says Ms. Maglalang, whose husband ghost-writes all her crap.
You know, I’ve got a box of Q-Tips at my house right now. On the back, for some bizarre reason, they decided that in order to get men to buy their product (because they apparently think all guys share Roosh’s hygiene habits and thus, never want to get the wax out of our ears), they needed to list a bunch of other, tool- and engine-related uses you could put them to, with the list headed something like “The perfect tool for men”.
@leftygirl
I would post that “why not both” meme but i can’t 🙁
Ooooo, the “civilized” racist panic button! Push it harder, maybe it will work! [/sarcasm]
You do realize that if we can “emasculate civilized white men”, we can do the same to “savage foreigners”, right? I mean, the anatomy is all the same…
I was gonna make a comment about how silly it is to say my motivations as a feminist male are entirely to get sex with women, since I’m gay and all, but then…
“UncuckTheRight”? Are you fucking serious with that Twitter handle? Not sure if trying way too hard or not nearly hard enough.
@freemage
That reminds me something funny that happened yesterday: I asked the cab driver (with my vision, I can’t drive) to stop by a chemists’ on the way home so I could pick up some hand sanitiser. “I thought you weren’t into that girly crap?” “Hmm? Oh, I use it to clean computer parts, it’s cheaper.” “… Oh.”
If they ever unnecessarily gender hand sanitiser, expect to see that on the packaging. =P
Good. It means we won’t “owe” you any fucking smiles. Or sex. Or anything. Ha, ha.
Not that some of us haven’t been doing that (and more) all along, anyway…because (a) we can, and (b) we open doors for others regardless of gender, split dinner tabs, etc., as a matter of habit, and (c) we just don’t like to be beholden to sex-expecting assholes like YOU, okay?
(Srsly, does this dude not realize that this is one of our actual long-term feminist goals? Getting dimwits like him to fuck off with their patronizing bogus chivalry schtick and let us do our own thing? Yet they keep coming up with that as if it were a serious counterargument that should checkmate us all and strike us mute, when all it does is prove our point for us.)
Sex with an asshole (like YOU) is not an “easy meal ticket”, bubba. It’s prostitution, and it means that we are beholden, and stuck with you, and have to put up with your crap in exchange for a not-so-free meal. Fuck that noise. There’s a very good reason I don’t like random men doing me so-called favors. And neither do many other women. There’s always a catch, and guess what? WE DON’T LIKE BEING CAUGHT.
(On the other hand, it is nice to see him obliquely admitting that his manly manly manhood is indeed so fragile that he desperately needs to pay for dinner to get sex, and gets royally miffed when he’s denied by a woman who honestly doesn’t mind paying her own damn way. Once again, thanks for helping to make our point for us, bubba!)
@SFHC
Exactly how are hand sanitizers “girly”?
Meanwhile Reddit is in an uproar that Google is consulting with Sarkeesian and Quinn (among many others) about how to reduce online abuse. Of all the days to throw an anti-feminist fit, it’s particularly ironic to do it with this hashtag trending.
Mr. Kirby most of the men complaining about this are also terminally stupid.
Behind the door when a sense of irony was handed out.
@ David
Is #masculinitysotoxic also a trending hashing? Otherwise, I think you have a typo in your fifth paragraph.
David: at the start of the fifth paragraph, you say “The #MasculinitySoToxic” hashtag. Maybe that’s a hashtag too, but the rest of the post is about #MasculinitySoFragile, so I assume this is a typo?
@spacelawn
Everyone knows only girls care about being clean.
Is there ever a handle that shouts “I am insecure in my accomplishments” louder than calling yourself ERWIN motherfucking ROMMEL ??
The concept that (white, cis-het, western) masculinity is so fragile as to need propping up with every fucking “rugged”, macho thing on the market, not to mention sex on demand (or, in a pinch, in exchange for dinner), IS what’s toxic. Thanks again, Sargon of Clueless, for conceding our point while trying to argue against it. We do appreciate that!
…posted by a dude who is triggered by people he disagrees with, actually using their freedom of speech to mock a stupid yet persistent masculist myth.
O irony, where is thy zing?
Norovirus: it’s so manly!
Oh, is that the best you got? Here’s how I open jars: I bang on the edge of the lid a few times with the butt end of a butter knife. This releases the pressure and makes it easy to turn. If it still doesn’t, I reach for my handy-dandy jar-lid grabber, and DONE.
And I can lift heavy boxes just fine, dude. I have strong legs. That’s right, it’s NOT upper-body strength that does the real heavy lifting, as you would know if you actually lifted yourself, bro.
Who’s the whiny one now, eh?