So a couple of coffeeshop owners from Asheville, North Carolina just got outed as the two creepy, rapey, misogynistic assholes behind a skeezy pickup podcast, and, it turns out that a lot of their customers aren’t terribly happy about that.
The two have posted apologies (of sorts) and tried to buy forgiveness by donating to a local rape crisis center — which has refused to accept their money.
Given what the two have said — and allegedly done — that reaction is more than understandable. Read on for the details.
Jared Rutledge and Jacob Owens are the owners of a formerly popular coffeeshop called Waking Life Espresso; they were also, until recently, the two anonymous dudes behind the Holistic Game podcast, on which they shared their alleged dating experiences and showcased their contemptuous and contemptible views of women.
Oh, and during one of their podcast episodes, Owens seems to have confessed to raping a drugged-up woman in the hospital. Here’s the relevant portion of the transcript, as reported on Jezebel. (Content Warning, obviously.)
“It was still really fun because we had sex in the shower. Hospital sex is weird, when she’s drugged, it’s strange, but it’s really cool.”
“Could she give consent?” Rutledge asks. “Could she give consent, Jay?”
“Uh oh,” Owens laughs. “That’s my bad. That is my bad.”
“You might’ve violated some California laws. Good thing we don’t live in California.”
Lovely. And there are people who think rape culture isn’t real?
In addition to doing the podcast, Rutledge also kept himself busy on Twitter, spewing forth hateful and retrograde nonsense about women, liberally sprinkled with racism, homophobia, and a lot of “red pill” lingo. Some examples:
I didn’t even notice until proofreading this post that two of those Tweets were replies to @heartiste.
You can find much, much more of his nonsense posted on the JaredAndJacobSaid blog set up by a critic of theirs, and which is where I found the screenshots above. (You will also see that he follows Roosh’s Twitter account as well. Because of course he does.)
Rutledge, that busy boy, also ran a blog, on which he detailed his various “conquests,” which ranged from an “sexy little mid-twenties brunette with a thigh gap [who] was … dumb as a fucking brick” to a “late thirties MILF that I fucked in her basement while her kids were asleep.”
Since being outed, the two have gone into damage control mode. Owens, the one who seemingly confessed to rape, posted a groveling apology that doesn’t seem to have won over many of his critics. He started off by saying that
I would like to fully admit to what I have done. I would also like to receive the shame and necessary consequences for my actions. I am not hiding nor do I want to deflect.
But then he seemed to offer excuses, declaring that
I would do the podcast with Jared while we were kicking back and drinking whiskey. I had a persona and an ego that would come out while I tried to tell other men who might be listening how to be “successful” with women.
He also denied that he had anything to do with the blog or the podcast’s Twitter account, but sort of took responsibility for it as well:
I would like to be very clear that I did not author any of the posts of the blog or twitter. But just as worse, I knew they existed. I did not keep up with them, or fully know what was on them. But by knowing that it was going on, and knowing that I was associated however, I am complicit.
Rutledge’s “apology,” meanwhile, was barely an apology at all.
I know I’ve said and posted a lot of things that are offensive. Most of my life I’ve struggled with insecurities around dating. I felt like, in the past couple years, that I’d finally gotten a handle on this and experienced more success. So I made a twitter, blog, and got Jacob to podcast with me. We didn’t always say nice things, and sometimes we were downright mean. Sometimes I just vented about frustrating experiences in an immature, hateful, and foolish way. It was in particular a breach of trust to post intimate details about lovers. I was naive enough to think it’d stay anonymous, and I was wrong.
So here we are. I grew up in West Asheville and have disappointed and brought shame to the community that raised me, and there’s not really anything I can do to make it right. There are no excuses to be made. The way I’ve phrased and framed my private conduct in a sad and tawdry public way is humiliating. There’s nothing to do but ask your forgiveness for any harm I’ve caused. I’m sorry folks.
Well, actually, dude, there is a lot more to do than asking for forgiveness. Taking real responsibility for what you’ve done rather than trying to excuse it as somehow being caused by your former “insecurities around dating” would be a good first step.
OurVoice, the rape crisis intervention and prevention agency that the two tried to donate to, noted the evident insincerity of Rutledge’s “apology” as one of the reasons they turned down the money.
We were disturbed and outraged by what was posted by Jared and Jacob regarding women. We will not be taking their money because it is not our place to forgive. Our VOICE is not in a position of absolving them for their misogyny as it perpetuates a culture of danger to all women and girls. Jared’s and Jacob’s actions not only objectified women but also perpetuated rape culture and violence against women.
While Jared and Jacob apologized, Jared’s apology infers that he believes his inability to date well contributed to his actions. How damaged must our society be that he can reason in this manner and it be thought as an apology. It is disturbing to think he can rationalize violence against all women because he struggled with insecurities around dating.
If you would like to make a donation to OurVoice, you can do so here.
H/T — A number of people alerted me to this story. Thanks to all of them.
It’s good to see people who stand up to this kind of garbage and making rapey misogynists take responsibility for their actions.
What would “taking responsibility” even mean in this instance? No public apology is going to erase their words, no attempt at a tragic back-story is going to erase that, at least before they were caught, they actually thought that way…
Eugh, awful. At least they, unlike other PUAs featured here, seem to be able to experience shame.
They don’t get the idea that rape is not being successful with women, it’s rape.
It is good that they got theirs. I hope they’ve at least learned a lesson, and I’m glad OurVOICE stood up and said it wasn’t their place to forgive them and called out Rutledge’s non-apology, and they wouldn’t be taking their bribe money, in a sense.
Because that’s what it was. It was a “Sorry we got caught, here’s some money, we’re good now, right?” bribe. It was a bribe to try and look good to cover the fact that they’ve been really fucking shitty people by doing a single “good” deed.
So, no, we’re not good.
it’s almost like, insulated from criticism and speaking to other disgusting misogynists they let their behavior escalate to a point that, when suddenly forced to examine what they’d said it…almost appalled even them! (but there I go, holding out a vague hope that at least one of them will mend his ways…::sigh::)
I’ve seen worse apologies, but Rutledge’s was still pretty damn transparent. Glad the charity called him out on it. Extra glad the community reacted like they did. Stuebenville, take notes. THAT is how you respond to rapists in a way that means you can still call yourselves decent human beings.
Crashing their business is a good start, but I won’t be happy until the rapist is in prison.
@Kirby – They’re not experiencing shame, they’re in damage control mode.
This has a very good chance of tanking their livelihoods.
I’m not going to wish ill on anyone, but I will say that I’m glad that others who share their mindset might see – really see – what the general public thinks of what passes as acceptable, even laudable, in the Red Pill and PUA communities.
I worry that the lesson learned here isn’t “don’t be a rapist” but “don’t get exposed as a rapist”, meaning that other rapists are simply going to react even harsher to the threat of being outed.
That said, from what I understand of it, rape culture thrives on communicating openly about rapey behaviour with impunity. Once that impunity ceases to exist and the rapists stop boasting and start clamming up about it, the overall social discourse will hopefully get a lot healthier and will influence people towards more consent based relationships. I hope.
@mockingbird:
Unfortunately, a lot of people in the Red Pill and PUA communities already understand that they are viewed… poorly… by the public. It’s why they openly celebrate being “politically uncorrect,” telling “unpopular truths” to a culture overrun by feminazis. I’d guess they’d be more likely to raise these two as an example of how lost the culture is and also blame them for not sticking to their guns like a “true alpha.” 😐
Oh fucking boo-hoo.
I’m glad OurVoice didn’t take their money and told them and the public exactly why.
Someone let me know when the first supposed free market loving libertarians start calling this boycott an egregious blow to free speech.
@Kirby – Yeah, you’re right.
I ca hear it now:
“The SJW enforcers of our corrupt and fascist gynocracy are violating their right to free speech! And they’ve been closeted betas all along – look at how quickly the rolled!”
Or some such nonesense.
Fucking hell. I’ve just read of an acid-attack that took place in my hometown a couple days ago. Two men walked up to a woman in the main square and threw it in her face. She was with her boyfriend.
They’re still looking for the culprits, but she knew the men. There’s no report on where she knows them from. Anyone want to guess it’s an ex who’s angry she left him? 🙁 Or maybe they tried to hit on her and she turned them down.
Apparently acid attacks are on the rise…hey MRAs, you want to talk violence? Most of these attacks happen to women. Fuck you and your “females instigate things” bullshit. Not nearly as many men are severely injured or killed by women, compared to the other way around.
Fuck. You. All.
(as if my week hasn’t been bad enough already. WHY DO I READ THE NEWS?)
Hand-to-God I’m not trying to troll here (concern, tone, or otherwise) but I have a question about all this and I can’t think my way to an answer.
What should these guys have done? What is the adult, responsible, socially- and morally-sound response to this? What should these guys be saying and/or doing in order to demonstrate remorse? How does one atone for this? These guys live in a small community, so their medium-term* options are atonement or exile.
When these kinds of stories come out (I’m thinking of the Cards Against Humanity guy’s story as well) it’s easy to see the wrongdoing and the harm caused, but is there any penance that can be done, any hope for absolution? Or is any misogyny, or any sexual assault in one’s past an indelible stain, an unforgivable act that will forever mean distrust and shame?
*in the long run, the community will forget and they could go back to their sociopathic ways, but that’s too depressing to consider right now
@sunnysombrera: You know someone’s going to turn around and say the poor woman deserved it because of [insert percieved slight that most people who aren’t raging misogynists get over quickly here].
Sincerely hope that most, if not all, of those posts are fantasies that never happened. They’d still deserve the treatment they’re getting, but, at least that would mean hurtful word rather than hurtful actions.
@Paradoxical
Yup. Or they’ll make some other ridiculous excuse, like ” well something something relationship issues, poor man got his heart broken in the past, when that women turned him down he must have snapped. You know whose to blame? The victim, AND all his exes, AND all the women who wouldn’t go out with him!”
Oh yeah, that reminds me. Ten bucks says he’ll be labelled as mentally ill or one of those “lone wolves” etc etc. Not the entitled piece of shit he is if he thinks he can brutally assault a woman for hurting his fee-fees in some way. Which, I imagine, is what the perceived slight is.
As someone who’s spent quite a bit of time in Asheville, there aren’t very many cities more primed to give these business owners the shunning they deserve. It’s the most interesting blend of small-town “Everyone knows everyone” and liberal tendencies that I have ever encountered, which really makes it a nice place to live overall. (Aside from the things that make North Carolina bad in general.) Everybody’s going to hear what they did, and pretty much everybody is going to hate it. And that’s a good thing.
“Men don’t reject sweet, pretty women”? Oh, BULLSHIT. I’m sweet and pretty and get told so all the time. And I’ve been rejected more times than I’ve kept count. Sweetness and prettiness aren’t worth a thing if the guy you want doesn’t want you. (Or, conversely: if guys you don’t want, do want you.)
These racist, sexist assholes deserve to lose and go on losing. They were losers from within long before they ever picked up “game”.
And again: So fucking what? I’m insecure, too, and think dating is hell. Mostly because the pool is full of fucking barracudas like this one, who thinks HE’s the only vulnerable fish in the place, and therefore entitled to eat up everything he likes and spit out the bones when he’s done.
And yes, the barracudas do the rejecting, and that’s another reason I’m insecure. Apparently no one, however sweet and pretty, is ever sweet and pretty enough for these entitled fucking hemorrhoids.
Seriously, dude, fuck you and your so-called insecurities. I hope you never get another date or another lay as long as you live.
Also, that “#leverage” one makes me deeply sick to my stomach. One more reason to resist complying with men’s sexual demands if they don’t coincide with your own desires, because that one sure as hell smells like rape to me, too.
Sonnysombrera: Is this the attack in Southampton? If so, it’s looking like the police think it was two brothers. They’ll have a little harder time playing the mental illness card, at least, if that proves true.
Re: acid attacks – a while ago Slate ran a series of photos of women who had been burned in acid attacks and were remaking their lives. Some turd in the comments insisted that men were actually the more common victims of these attacks, but do feminist lefties care? Noooooooooo!!! Sources were asked for, but I couldn’t be bothered to look again and see if any were given.
As for these two toxic waste bags, they sound like bullies who finally go too far. “Oh, sorry! See, I said it. Why don’t you just forget about everything? I need support more than you ’cause I had a hard life!”
If apologies were food theirs would be a shit sandwich. Shit composed of grass processed in bovine stomachs.
I hope they didn’t really commit any rapes either. But even if they didn’t, it’s a hell of a lot more than harmful words. Those words contribute to a culture where men see women as objects to be fucked whether they want to or not. They’re making it easier for others to actually carry out rape. Those are still harmful actions in my book.