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Coffeeshop owners face boycott after they’re revealed as creepy, rapey PUA scum

Jared Rutledge: Coffeeshop owner, terrible person
Jared Rutledge: Coffeeshop owner, terrible person

So a couple of coffeeshop owners from Asheville, North Carolina just got outed as the two creepy, rapey, misogynistic assholes behind a skeezy pickup podcast, and, it turns out that a lot of their customers aren’t terribly happy about that.

The two have posted apologies (of sorts) and tried to buy forgiveness by donating to a local rape crisis center — which has refused to accept their money.

Given what the two have said — and allegedly done — that reaction is more than understandable. Read on for the details.

Jared Rutledge and Jacob Owens are the owners of a formerly popular coffeeshop called Waking Life Espresso; they were also, until recently, the two anonymous dudes behind the Holistic Game podcast, on which they shared their alleged dating experiences and showcased their contemptuous and contemptible views of women.

Oh, and during one of their podcast episodes, Owens seems to have confessed to raping a drugged-up woman in the hospital. Here’s the relevant portion of the transcript, as reported on Jezebel. (Content Warning, obviously.)

“It was still really fun because we had sex in the shower. Hospital sex is weird, when she’s drugged, it’s strange, but it’s really cool.”

“Could she give consent?” Rutledge asks. “Could she give consent, Jay?”

“Uh oh,” Owens laughs. “That’s my bad. That is my bad.”

“You might’ve violated some California laws. Good thing we don’t live in California.”

Lovely. And there are people who think rape culture isn’t real?

In addition to doing the podcast, Rutledge also kept himself busy on Twitter, spewing forth hateful and retrograde nonsense about women, liberally sprinkled with racism, homophobia, and a lot of “red pill” lingo. Some examples:

twitterpost67 twitterpost66 twitterpost42 twitterpost36 twitterpost24 jjtw1 jjtw2 jjtw3 jjtw4

I didn’t even notice until proofreading this post that two of those Tweets were replies to @heartiste.

You can find much, much more of his nonsense posted on the JaredAndJacobSaid blog set up by a critic of theirs, and which is where I found the screenshots above. (You will also see that he follows Roosh’s Twitter account as well. Because of course he does.)

Rutledge, that busy boy, also ran a blog, on which he detailed his various “conquests,” which ranged from an “sexy little mid-twenties brunette with a thigh gap [who] was … dumb as a fucking brick” to a “late thirties MILF that I fucked in her basement while her kids were asleep.”

Since being outed, the two have gone into damage control mode. Owens, the one who seemingly confessed to rape, posted  a groveling apology that doesn’t seem to have won over many of his critics. He started off by saying that

I would like to fully admit to what I have done. I would also like to receive the shame and necessary consequences for my actions. I am not hiding nor do I want to deflect.

But then he seemed to offer excuses, declaring that

I would do the podcast with Jared while we were kicking back and drinking whiskey. I had a persona and an ego that would come out while I tried to tell other men who might be listening how to be “successful” with women.

He also denied that he had anything to do with the blog or the podcast’s Twitter account, but sort of took responsibility for it as well:

I would like to be very clear that I did not author any of the posts of the blog or twitter. But just as worse, I knew they existed. I did not keep up with them, or fully know what was on them. But by knowing that it was going on, and knowing that I was associated however, I am complicit.

Rutledge’s “apology,” meanwhile, was barely an apology at all.

I know I’ve said and posted a lot of things that are offensive. Most of my life I’ve struggled with insecurities around dating. I felt like, in the past couple years, that I’d finally gotten a handle on this and experienced more success. So I made a twitter, blog, and got Jacob to podcast with me. We didn’t always say nice things, and sometimes we were downright mean. Sometimes I just vented about frustrating experiences in an immature, hateful, and foolish way. It was in particular a breach of trust to post intimate details about lovers. I was naive enough to think it’d stay anonymous, and I was wrong.

So here we are. I grew up in West Asheville and have disappointed and brought shame to the community that raised me, and there’s not really anything I can do to make it right. There are no excuses to be made. The way I’ve phrased and framed my private conduct in a sad and tawdry public way is humiliating. There’s nothing to do but ask your forgiveness for any harm I’ve caused. I’m sorry folks.

Well, actually, dude, there is a lot more to do than asking for forgiveness. Taking real responsibility for what you’ve done rather than trying to excuse it as somehow being caused by your former “insecurities around dating” would be a good first step.

OurVoice, the rape crisis intervention and prevention agency that the two tried to donate to, noted the evident insincerity of Rutledge’s “apology” as one of the reasons they turned down the money.

 

We were disturbed and outraged by what was posted by Jared and Jacob regarding women. We will not be taking their money because it is not our place to forgive. Our VOICE is not in a position of absolving them for their misogyny as it perpetuates a culture of danger to all women and girls. Jared’s and Jacob’s actions not only objectified women but also perpetuated rape culture and violence against women.

While Jared and Jacob apologized, Jared’s apology infers that he believes his inability to date well contributed to his actions. How damaged must our society be that he can reason in this manner and it be thought as an apology. It is disturbing to think he can rationalize violence against all women because he struggled with insecurities around dating.

If you would like to make a donation to OurVoice, you can do so here.

H/T — A number of people alerted me to this story. Thanks to all of them.

 

 

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Bina
Bina
5 years ago

Bina,
I had no idea Traci Lords was from there. I really like her. She was so funny in Crybaby and Roseanne and I loved her as an uptight fundie mom in Incision (a really great horror/dark comedy that should have been seen more). I really wish she would get more roles, but I guess her history of doing porn must scare studios off.

Yep, she’s from there. And sadly, her porn career is a direct result of what happened to her; she ran away, and for a time lived on the streets, surviving as girls in that situation so often must. She “graduated” from prostitution to porn. And she’s still livid at Stupidville to this day. Can’t blame her in the least. Her life would no doubt have been so much happier if not for all that.

Captain Kei
Captain Kei
5 years ago

Thanks for leaving a donation link, David.

Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
Tara the Antisocial Social Worker
5 years ago

Donation sent, and link passed along.

Heather
Heather
5 years ago

I hope the woman that was raped by that man goes after him, she now has a recorded confession.

Kat
Kat
5 years ago

@bvh

Whoa! This is from a Yelp review of Tiger Mountain in Asheville:

http://www.yelp.com/biz/tiger-mountain-asheville

Maybe it’s the photo booth where I’m sure dastardly deeds have been attempted, and maybe even completed

Given what the person on Craigslist said, this sounds suspicious.This reviewer takes a lighthearted approach to something that might be hideous.

bvh
bvh
5 years ago

@Kat

It is a little disturbing, considering the rest of their comment is light hearted. Unless they’re thinking of historical dated events, al a smuggling tunnels for opium dens. A century later such activities acquire a romance, assuming they’re not still being perpetuated, of course. But I think Tiger Mountain is too new for that excuse.

I’m in wait and see mode. So far I haven’t found credible facts, and spreading innuendo doesn’t help anyone.

But apparently there’s mold in the bathroom:

What did I like about it? Absolutely Nothing. Apon arriving I went to the ladies room, only to find black mold growing in every toilet. I figured I should notify the bartender, he kind of chuckled at me and said, “yeah we know, it’s part of the experience.” um what? No. Just no. I don’t want any part of that Experience. IF your bathrooms look like that, what do your beer lines look like?

Sounds like the hygiene is down to Roosh’s standards.

contrapangloss
5 years ago

@ FeminaziKiller:

Hey troll, nice name!

It’s clearly the name of a reasonable and unbiased person.

Since you’ve illuminated me onto how to present myself as an honorable and reputable critic, I’d like to henceforth be known as FuchsiaStomper, since that hue is the most hypocritical and ugly of colors.

I will now bravely sally forth to whatever discussion-boards discuss Fuchsia in a positive light, but have the audacity to state periwinkle is a color unsuitable for web design, and let them know how awful and abhorrent fuchsia is.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

If the troll doesn’t think women worked outside the home until the last few decades, he really ought to Google the Triangle Shirtwaist fire. Or read the jungle. Or consider that sex work is often referred to as the oldest profession and sex workers are at a high risk of being murdered, assaulted, and raped. Or he can read about slavery and learn that women have been trafficked since forever.

I could go on, but that’s enough for a probably drive by troll.

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Feminazikiller
*talks garbage about women including using misognist slurs like “wh*ore”, wants women to take full responsibility during drunken sex, says women are liars and wants men to fail, doesn’t care about womens’ safety or happiness, defends rapists/misognists, and calls women who even treats men with the slightest disrespect, nazis*

*Then later complains about misandry even accusing us of it*

Excuse me who’s the hyprocrite here? That’s right you are. You are so terrified of being treated like you treat women because you can’t imagine what true equality is except you think it’s flipping the tables that’s what this all boils down to isn’t it? And I would call you a nazi for the misognist garbage but I’m going to respect the people who were brutally tortured and murdered by real nazis.

Now would you kindly hug a cactus while stepping on Legos, you insufferable pr*ck?

Fruitloopsie
Fruitloopsie
5 years ago

Forgot to mention about women working but WWTH cleared that up.

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

What did I like about it? Absolutely Nothing. Apon arriving I went to the ladies room, only to find black mold growing in every toilet. I figured I should notify the bartender, he kind of chuckled at me and said, “yeah we know, it’s part of the experience.”

So…public health code violations are “part of the experience”? Well, then, I guess they won’t mind experiencing a little surprise visit from the local health inspector, eh?

bvh
bvh
5 years ago

So…public health code violations are “part of the experience”? Well, then, I guess they won’t mind experiencing a little surprise visit from the local health inspector, eh?

And who knows what else they might find….

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
5 years ago

“I would like to fully admit to what I have done. I would also like to receive the shame and necessary consequences for my actions. I am not hiding nor do I want to deflect.”

We need to find the woman he raped and ask if she will press charges. Please tell me someone is doing just that.

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
5 years ago

We’re these the guys who sped up their voices and sounded like Chipmunks?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
5 years ago

Virtually Out of Touch — no, we really don’t. As abhorrent as this is, whether she decides to press charges or not, now, then, whenever, why ever, is her business. I get that mindset of “I hope these guys suffer the legal consequences, let’s support the woman who can make that happen”, which is great, if she asks for that support. Seeking out a rape victim/survivor and pressing her to talk to the cops… that’s way less cool than supporting her if she does go to the cops.

This isn’t a rant against you, or even solely about this particular case, so much as it is me being annoyed at the whole “press charges against your rapist, make him pay!” attitude. Like that actually works in the US “justice” system, and like she needs people pressuring her decisions about how to respond. Sorry, this one is kinda personal to me, I don’t mean to come of as if I’m picking on you!

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
5 years ago

Argenti, she may not even know she was raped. Remember, he said she was drugged.

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
5 years ago

“Men’s problem is finding attractive, valuable women who will submit,”

Submit to what exactly? If you’re an attractive, valuable, respectful and amicable guy with empathy for your fellow humans, what’s there for an attractive, valuable woman who’s in a mutually beneficial relationship with you to not to like and not go along with?

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

“Men’s problem is finding attractive, valuable women who will submit,”

Submit to what exactly? If you’re an attractive, valuable, respectful and amicable guy with empathy for your fellow humans, what’s there for an attractive, valuable woman who’s in a mutually beneficial relationship with you to not to like and not go along with?

In a nutshell, this is why these guys had so much trouble dating…they keep trying to hammer the wrong shape of pegs into the wrong shape of holes. Instead of trying to manipulate women, if they were truly socially skilled, they’d be looking to relate to them, get along with them, understand them, etc.

But then again, for that, they’d have to learn to see women as PEOPLE, not THINGS. And the fact that they used the word “valuable” there, which is a word one generally associates with OBJECTS, tells me that they see only men as people, and women as things that people must acquire. And therein lies the whole of their shitty track record.

Virtually Out of Touch
Virtually Out of Touch
5 years ago

Good News!!!!

Appearantly the mother of the young woman he claimed to have raped in the hospital when she was on drugs is planning to press charges!!!!

More here;
http://www.hookingupsmart.com/2015/09/28/politics-and-feminism/a-normal-male-reproductive-strategy/

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

… Bloody hell, you know they’ve fucked up when even that creepy-ass anti-feminist blog calls them misogynists.

KL
KL
3 years ago

The sleazy Gawker/Jezebel was sued into bankruptcy for publishing the stolen Hulk Hogan sex tape. They libeled by omission here.

The podcast immediately continues: “I’m pretty sure consent had been given over and over by that point? Right, right. …. She was running the show … she’s lucid and she’s with it.”

http://ashevilleblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/09/HollisticGame7HospitalFull.mp3

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

Oh, thanks, KL, that makes rape apologia much better. Cleared that shit right up.

kupo
kupo
3 years ago

Way to necro a thread to ‘splain to us something we’re all very aware of. Feminists were against that sex tape being distributed, by the way, and I’m not going to listen to a podcast link from a random drive-by who’s attempting a ‘gotcha.’

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

KL,

You’re being pretty disingenuous when you say Gawker/Jezebel was sued. Yes, Jezebel was owned by Gawker media before they declared bankruptcy, but it’s also a separate blog and the writers there didn’t have anything to do with the Hulk Hogan tape.

There are plenty of valid criticisms to be made of Jezebel, but this isn’t one of them.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
3 years ago

The podcast immediately continues: “I’m pretty sure consent had been given over and over by that point? Right, right. …. She was running the show … she’s lucid and she’s with it.”

TIL that if your rape apologia gets pushback, the solution is to add on more of it until it reaches some unspecified critical mass, at which point it becomes A-OK.

PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
PeeVee the (Timber-Rattling Booger Slut, But Noice) Sarcastic
3 years ago

KL has dropped “nuggets” of “wisdom” before.

Disingenuous is apt.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
3 years ago

I want to flip KL the bird, but I currently have totally-not-PS4-related trigger finger and can’t. Damn.

Viscaria the Cheese Hog
Viscaria the Cheese Hog
3 years ago

The podcast immediately continues: “I’m pretty sure consent had been given over and over by that point? Right, right. …. She was running the show … she’s lucid and she’s with it.”

So, in your mind, the guy that had sex with her when she was on drugs in the hospital, the man who has shown himself in various other ways to be a rapey misogynist, is the best authority on whether or not she was capable of consenting and did so.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
3 years ago

@KL

The podcast immediately continues: “I’m pretty sure consent had been given over and over by that point? Right, right. …. She was running the show … she’s lucid and she’s with it.”

Echoing Viscaria: He’s pretty sure? Well, then, I’m convinced he’s not a rapist.

Thx for bringing this info to our attention. No, really.