So a couple of coffeeshop owners from Asheville, North Carolina just got outed as the two creepy, rapey, misogynistic assholes behind a skeezy pickup podcast, and, it turns out that a lot of their customers aren’t terribly happy about that.
The two have posted apologies (of sorts) and tried to buy forgiveness by donating to a local rape crisis center — which has refused to accept their money.
Given what the two have said — and allegedly done — that reaction is more than understandable. Read on for the details.
Jared Rutledge and Jacob Owens are the owners of a formerly popular coffeeshop called Waking Life Espresso; they were also, until recently, the two anonymous dudes behind the Holistic Game podcast, on which they shared their alleged dating experiences and showcased their contemptuous and contemptible views of women.
Oh, and during one of their podcast episodes, Owens seems to have confessed to raping a drugged-up woman in the hospital. Here’s the relevant portion of the transcript, as reported on Jezebel. (Content Warning, obviously.)
“It was still really fun because we had sex in the shower. Hospital sex is weird, when she’s drugged, it’s strange, but it’s really cool.”
“Could she give consent?” Rutledge asks. “Could she give consent, Jay?”
“Uh oh,” Owens laughs. “That’s my bad. That is my bad.”
“You might’ve violated some California laws. Good thing we don’t live in California.”
Lovely. And there are people who think rape culture isn’t real?
In addition to doing the podcast, Rutledge also kept himself busy on Twitter, spewing forth hateful and retrograde nonsense about women, liberally sprinkled with racism, homophobia, and a lot of “red pill” lingo. Some examples:
I didn’t even notice until proofreading this post that two of those Tweets were replies to @heartiste.
You can find much, much more of his nonsense posted on the JaredAndJacobSaid blog set up by a critic of theirs, and which is where I found the screenshots above. (You will also see that he follows Roosh’s Twitter account as well. Because of course he does.)
Rutledge, that busy boy, also ran a blog, on which he detailed his various “conquests,” which ranged from an “sexy little mid-twenties brunette with a thigh gap [who] was … dumb as a fucking brick” to a “late thirties MILF that I fucked in her basement while her kids were asleep.”
Since being outed, the two have gone into damage control mode. Owens, the one who seemingly confessed to rape, posted a groveling apology that doesn’t seem to have won over many of his critics. He started off by saying that
I would like to fully admit to what I have done. I would also like to receive the shame and necessary consequences for my actions. I am not hiding nor do I want to deflect.
But then he seemed to offer excuses, declaring that
I would do the podcast with Jared while we were kicking back and drinking whiskey. I had a persona and an ego that would come out while I tried to tell other men who might be listening how to be “successful” with women.
He also denied that he had anything to do with the blog or the podcast’s Twitter account, but sort of took responsibility for it as well:
I would like to be very clear that I did not author any of the posts of the blog or twitter. But just as worse, I knew they existed. I did not keep up with them, or fully know what was on them. But by knowing that it was going on, and knowing that I was associated however, I am complicit.
Rutledge’s “apology,” meanwhile, was barely an apology at all.
I know I’ve said and posted a lot of things that are offensive. Most of my life I’ve struggled with insecurities around dating. I felt like, in the past couple years, that I’d finally gotten a handle on this and experienced more success. So I made a twitter, blog, and got Jacob to podcast with me. We didn’t always say nice things, and sometimes we were downright mean. Sometimes I just vented about frustrating experiences in an immature, hateful, and foolish way. It was in particular a breach of trust to post intimate details about lovers. I was naive enough to think it’d stay anonymous, and I was wrong.
So here we are. I grew up in West Asheville and have disappointed and brought shame to the community that raised me, and there’s not really anything I can do to make it right. There are no excuses to be made. The way I’ve phrased and framed my private conduct in a sad and tawdry public way is humiliating. There’s nothing to do but ask your forgiveness for any harm I’ve caused. I’m sorry folks.
Well, actually, dude, there is a lot more to do than asking for forgiveness. Taking real responsibility for what you’ve done rather than trying to excuse it as somehow being caused by your former “insecurities around dating” would be a good first step.
OurVoice, the rape crisis intervention and prevention agency that the two tried to donate to, noted the evident insincerity of Rutledge’s “apology” as one of the reasons they turned down the money.
We were disturbed and outraged by what was posted by Jared and Jacob regarding women. We will not be taking their money because it is not our place to forgive. Our VOICE is not in a position of absolving them for their misogyny as it perpetuates a culture of danger to all women and girls. Jared’s and Jacob’s actions not only objectified women but also perpetuated rape culture and violence against women.
While Jared and Jacob apologized, Jared’s apology infers that he believes his inability to date well contributed to his actions. How damaged must our society be that he can reason in this manner and it be thought as an apology. It is disturbing to think he can rationalize violence against all women because he struggled with insecurities around dating.
If you would like to make a donation to OurVoice, you can do so here.
H/T — A number of people alerted me to this story. Thanks to all of them.