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Open Thread for Personal Stuff: Sept. 2015 “Kate, Meet Cat; Cat, Meet Kate” Edition

 

Kate Bush, Cat Bush
Kate Bush, Cat Bush

 

An Open Thread for Personal Stuff. As always, Open Threads are CLOSED to MRAs/trolls, etc.

 

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AltoFronto
AltoFronto
6 years ago

Mola, your friend sounds hurt and angry, but she can’t possibly get what she wants from this man.

It’s pointless to pursue a LTR with someone who doesn’t want to be in a LTR, and so she’s just setting herself up for frustration by chasing after him.
Besides which, now that she’s so angry with him, and he’s probably hurt that it wasn’t clear what they were getting into, what kind of relationship could they have that’s built on resentment?

She needs to throw all her attention and energy into literally anything that isn’t This Guy. Hang out with her, but set the condition that you must not talk about This Guy, and put the focus on sharing a fun activity.

It’ll take her mind away from revenge, and you can unclench your jaw for a bit while the subject is no longer up for discussion. He gets to fuck off and be no part of your lives forever. 🙂 Win-win-win.

If they have both been deceitful or withheld information from each other about what kind of relationship they wanted, then they are both as bad as each other.
There’s no moral judgement to be placed on either one of them for the how much sex they’ve had, with whom.

The only thing that makes sex unethical is denying your partner the ability to give informed consent. That goes for knowing your partner’s sexual health risk, number of partners, and whether your relationship is only casual, or more long-term.

But most importantly, this relationship is over, immediately. The best “revenge” she can have is to cut off all ties and go enjoy her life.

skiriki
6 years ago

Halp. I’m running out of D&D Dragon Deities when it comes to naming my electronic devices. I still had two unused, but that kind of shows how many I’ve owned so far..! 😀

dhag85
6 years ago

I went back to university, and also started doing volunteer work twice a week.

In other news, we opened up the shower room for cat access. They immediately found their new chill spots:

http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/oo188/dhag85/4d670b20-0639-42c9-b005-f260cf17ba90_zps0lawbipg.jpg

http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/oo188/dhag85/dadb4920-a713-4634-847b-e7213af44669_zpsgx3vlnrz.jpg

I also dyed my wife’s hair:

http://i374.photobucket.com/albums/oo188/dhag85/99fdd0e3-a8d7-447c-b6c2-26ff3e246288_zpszftuv3uw.jpg

(Picture shared with permission.)

Melissia
Melissia
6 years ago

So glad that the temperature finally got down low enough that I’m not blasted with an explosion of heat the moment I open the door, lol. The more I deal with Texas in my adult life the more I hate it, both the weather and the people…

AbsintheDexterous
AbsintheDexterous
6 years ago

On a light note, I finally found the music that I’ll be walking up the aisle to – a beautiful arrangement of Skyrim. I’m debating leaving out the names of musical selections in the wedding program I’m designing because of this, and it amuses me that there will be people there who will be like “wow this sounds familiar” before the really recognizable part comes on. And it was a hard decision – the other two choices were the Imperial March or Babylon 5 season 5 theme.

I’ve also discovered that while classical music is pretty, I really don’t connect with it. I actually like the symphonic movie and game music better. I’m getting married; I WANT it to be epic!

With that said, what should be happy planning is actually wearing me thin. My employer announced they were closing and I got shuttled from a position that I enjoyed to one that I absolutely loathe. I come home from work and I lack the ability to summon any enthusiasm for planning anything. I’m trying not to hate the world, but it’s really hard. If I stay until they let me go, I get a fairly decent severance package and we can really use the money, but that means I have to fight the urge every single day to go and find another job because I hate this one so very much. Part of me is angry because I don’t want my dignity to be for sale, but the other part of me really wants to be able to pay things off.

I really wish I had teleporter sometimes. Bonus if it’s got a time travel option. I could take a vacation in the 23rd century or something or possibly even on an island inhabited only by extinct species. Might be fun, even.

Ellesar
Ellesar
6 years ago

Mola – when I was younger I would have agreed with you that men have a lot of the advantages re the power of deciding how a relationship will be, but since my boys have grown up I am seeing things from a young man’s perspective more by contact with their friends. These are NOT men who come from a feminist, or non feminist perspective – they know about feminism, they understand the basics, they are not hostile.

I have seen the insecurities they have – about their bodies, about their attractiveness etc. In many ways like girls, but not as pervasive, and of course male privilege is a protective factor. So far I have not met any ‘players’, and I know that of course they would not share their shit attitude to women with me – middle aged feminist with a reputation for extreme outspokenness!

None of this excuses the behaviour of your friend’s ex, but I admit I am still thinking that your friend assumed what she wanted simply because she wanted to, and I don’t know if that is any better than assuming that something is casual. If looking for an ltr being clear about it from the start is vital, if it scares someone off then obviously they were not interested in an ltr so it is best to get that out of the way at the start.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

I’m six shifts away from my more relaxing job ending for the season.

My other job will hopefully get back to being fun in seven or so weeks? It’s a mess of stress right now.

Office jobs should not be more stressful than CPR calls. That’s just screwed up.

But yeah. Off to shift ‘I can’t believe it’s over in six’!

yutolia
yutolia
6 years ago

Quit my horrible job with the nightmare boss in May. Have been working on creating my own graphic design business since. Waited on getting my retirement moment for a while, but now I’ve got it and am finally officially setting up!!! Now have a set of several greeting cards to print and sell at various events (I will be mostly online, but still have to start small with farmers’ markets, etc.) So exciting!!! For now, anyway 🙂

A.A. Wils
6 years ago

@Mola: I concur with all of the advice everyone has given so far. It is hard to be rejected, especially if she was beginning to have feelings for him. However, he is really only personally unethical if he knew of these feelings, manipulated them to get what he wanted, and then dumped her. Otherwise, if she was okay with the “casual” relationship, and then her okay-ness changed in the course of it, that’s more or less on her. Players, as unattractive to me as they are, aren’t necessarily unethical–as long as they make it abundantly clear that’s what they are, nothing more, nothing less.

She’s in a moment of heartache right now, so just because the fault of getting involved with a player may more or less be hers, I do have empathy. When my ex-husband left, I was hurt severely and I had fantasies of revenge, as much of a pacifist as I am. It doesn’t mean she’s going to act on those feelings. I do highly recommend you be there for her, but also help her get out of that dark space of negativity by getting her out to do things–not as a distraction, so much, but as a way to shine some light into that dark space where negativity feeds off of negativity.

After the waves of emotion have passed, she needs to take stock of herself. Why did she find this fellow attractive when she wants a long term relationship? What is it about her that attracts these sorts of guys? How can she learn from this and grow from? If she wants long term companionship, then what does she need to do to make that a reality?

skiriki
6 years ago

@dhag85 — SQUEEE! Your kitties are so adorable! And that’s a spiffy color! My Significant Otter does my dye jobs if I bring the box of colors and squeak at him pleadingly. 😀

After all, it is like painting a live-size miniature. 😀

dhag85
6 years ago

@skiriki

You can’t tell very well from that picture but it’s mostly green with blue up front, so we had to partition the hair first and we tried all kinds of creative solutions for not getting hair and dye everywhere. The whole thing took 4-5 hours, and then I had to scrub down the bathroom floor and walls for blue and green stains. It was a full day’s work, basically. Maybe next time will be easier.

I was very positively surprised by the result, because I have zero experience with this sort of thing. And the bathroom is way too small for this procedure. It was a mess trying to work around the chair and bath tub and litter boxes.

We’ve cut our hair-related expenses by maybe 80%. As an Otter myself, I’ve rarely felt more Significant. 😉

The yellow cat says hi. Black cat is probably in the sink.

skiriki
6 years ago

@dhag85: Yeah, you’ll learn it by doing it; I also used to dye my Otter’s hair, so it definitely takes some time to get used to it. Protip: old newspapers on the floor, and a dog-torn old towels are your best friends when doing DIY dyejobs at home. Get proper latex/rubber gloves rather than using those that tend to come with the color; when the glove fits snugly, it is so much easier to see WTH you’re doing vs ‘is this my finger?’ feeling when you use those poorly-fitting approximations of gloves.

Pls pass snuggles all around!

autosoma
6 years ago

Hey @EJ thanks for that.

@kat, yep I had the salubrious delight of rough sleeping because we’re pretty short of cash and I was let down by Airbnb and didn’t get the refund for over a week. It took me a fortnight to find a flat, then I had to ask a mate to be a guarantor and reference. But since all that thing have levelled out, DW, my wife and the kids have just come back from the beach and their happier here than in London.
I would have stayed longer at my younger brothers flat, but listening to the “misery me” about the entitlement of his boner was too much, kipping in carparks and doorways was a much better.

Anyway, got sorted. Got internet, got food and got flat, just need a better job and we can all be happy.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Fibinachi | September 11, 2015 at 5:09 pm
I don’t know, are you asking me? Sure? I guess? 25 seems a fairly average going price for Tarot Cards on Etsy and people like buying Tarot Cards. Go for it!

I was just wondering, because I’ve never done something like this before, so I’m just kinda worried that I’ll overcharge, and worried that I’ll undercharge.

EJ (The Other One) | September 11, 2015 at 6:16 pm
Paradoxy, if you do a nice minimalist Tarot then I’d definitely buy a copy. I enjoy playing with Tarot and am a big fan of clean, minimal design.

Glad to hear it! I’m in the sketching stage right now with that one, and it’s the easier of the two designs. The Animal Crossing one is going to take a LOT of illustration, and while I’m alright with doing that much, it’ll take a lot longer.

Also, on a more personal note, I got summoned for Jury Duty next month. My first ever. : P

raysa
raysa
6 years ago

Nice pig and dog pics, Katz and wwth. Thank you.

Verily Baroque
Verily Baroque
6 years ago

I wanted to share something: last Sunday I walked 13,8 km. I know that doesn’t sound like much of an accomplishment, but I enjoyed every step. The weather was nice, not too hot and not too cold, and I explored a park I had never visited before. I also saw around 1000+ wild geese in a field, a surprise herd of cows (?!) and two squirrels.

I also climbed a bird watching tower for a first time in 15 years but without binoculars, could only note that there was some kind of hawk flying in the sky. Based on the location I have a pretty good guess of what species it could be, but I couldn’t actually see it clearly enough to be sure. Still, the walk was splendid and definitely worth the time it took. I’ll have to walk that route again some day (with binoculars).

GosiaG
GosiaG
6 years ago

Hey guys! We (my partner&me) were joining the “Welcome” actions in The Hague today, delivering velcome packages for the Syrian refugees. There was also a solidarity march afterwards. It was really heartwarming to see all the people queueing to deliver boxes with goods for the refugees, it makes you not loose hope even in those shitty, shitty times that we live in. It really loaded me with good energy and made me forget, even if for a moment, all the vile crap that people are saying about the migrants from the middle east.
I know this post is a bit out of the time frame, but I really wanted to share this positive experience!
Kisses!

katz
katz
6 years ago

GosiaG: Good for you; what an awesome thing to do!

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

GosiaG: We need more people like you in the world. uvu

On a personal note though: I’ve ran out of this really awesome lotion I got a hold of in a hotel, and I found out I can purchase it online, but it’s only available wholesale for hotels and I’d be paying about 80 bucks before shipping for a box of 300 one ounce bottles (so, roughly 27 cents a bottle).

I’m debating if it’s worth it or not to pay 80 bucks plus shipping to most likely be set for lotion for the rest of my life. It’s really good lotion made with organic ingredients, and it smells amazing.

Of course, this would have to wait until I get an income, but I’m seriously debating this.

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Oh, and I was considering purchasing the matching soaps and shampoo and conditioner as well, but I like my shampoo/conditioner, and I’d already be spending so much on lotion as it is. XD

Ellesar
Ellesar
6 years ago

Paradoxical – I do stuff like that all the time, but you cannot buy a life time supply because it will have a shelf life. The regular stuff will last about 10 years, and an organic one might not have parabens in it, making it as little as 2 years.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

@ Paradoxy

I didn’t realise how expensive posh conditioner could be until I once used a bottle to clean the dog up after a particularly muddy walk. She wasn’t the only one in the doghouse that night (see what I did there!)

She was nice and fluffy afterwards though.

[She doesn’t actually live in a doghouse either]

Paradoxical Intention
6 years ago

Ellesar | September 12, 2015 at 6:36 pm
Paradoxical – I do stuff like that all the time, but you cannot buy a life time supply because it will have a shelf life. The regular stuff will last about 10 years, and an organic one might not have parabens in it, making it as little as 2 years.

Good point.

If that’s the case, I might just hand some out to people I know. >.>

epitome of incomprehensibility

Ellesar, I hope everything can get sorted out and that the surgery goes well.

And just a general shout-out for all you people in Europe who are welcoming refugees from Syria despite the nationalist/racist pushback. I’ve been following things on TV here. Canada hasn’t promised much refugee aid, unfortunately, though the government might be pushed to do more since there’s an election coming up (a cynical assessment, maybe, but there you).

As for me, I took a vacation last week at my aunt’s house – not a complete vacation, since I was helping her with an art show. I also had time to make some of my own, which brings to mind what Paradoxical Intention said about her art: “so I’m just kinda worried that I’ll overcharge, and worried that I’ll undercharge.”

…One of the things I made is a banner full of detailed snowflakes (the medium is batik – wax and dye on cloth, basically – and if I were to give it a price that reflected the work put into it, it’d come to over $100. Probably I’ll try selling it as a table runner for about half that.

epitome of incomprehensibility

“but there you” should be “but there you go.”

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the artisan show I’m getting ready for is around Halloween, but with a winter holiday theme. Thus the snowflakes.

I’m also starting a new job on Monday at a local tutoring company; but it’s not quite what I’d hoped for, since I’m doing a month of unpaid internship first (the tutoring still goes into my paycheque, but the admin things I’ll be doing for free for a month). But I’m excited to see how it turns out!

Kat
Kat
6 years ago

@Paradoxical Intention
You can probably find a really good lotion and so on at your local natural foods store or else online. Check out the list of ingredients, because a product can have both organic or natural ingredients along with unpronounceable ones.

The Environmental Working Group rates the safety of personal care products:

ewg.org

mola the ocean sunfish
mola the ocean sunfish
6 years ago

Thanks to everyone who has weighed in on my friend’s situation.

@ Kat
Good point about the ego boost. That is sort of what I’ve been telling her, but I didn’t put it in quite those terms. I’ll try again with your formulation, maybe it’ll be more helpful.

@ AltoFronto

If they have both been deceitful or withheld information from each other about what kind of relationship they wanted, then they are both as bad as each other.
There’s no moral judgement to be placed on either one of them for the how much sex they’ve had, with whom.

I don’t agree with that. There’s a pretty clear difference in how not communicating affects parties with different hopes and expectations. The one who has more feelings invested is in a weaker position both in terms of how they are able to negotiate, and they invariably get more hurt. They’re the only one with skin in the game. The person who has no feelings is more capable of conducting themselves in a responsible manner, so they should.

@ A.A.

Unfortunately, contact with the guy lasted for a few weeks only and it’s already been months. My friend shouldn’t be in an acute state of upsetness anymore. Maybe running into him at her work several times a week is keeping the feelings raw for her.

I don’t think my friend could have had time to change her mind about what she wanted during the course of the ”relationship”. As far as I understand the guy completely lost interest immediately after they had sex. I’m not clear on the details.

he is really only personally unethical if he knew of these feelings, manipulated them to get what he wanted, and then dumped her.

There is no plausible deniability. In these situations, due diligence entails making a sincere effort to find out about any possible feelings. He doesn’t need to have positive evidence of her feelings to take advantage of them and manipulate her.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
6 years ago

Hey, just want to say a quick Happy New Year to anyone celebrating it. Really hoping the next year will be better than this one (personal stuff I don’t want to go into), but one thing I am glad about is discovering this blog – even though I usually just read, rather than participate in the discussion, it’s still usually a delight, so thanks all.

Katherine XII
Katherine XII
6 years ago

Whenever one of these personal threads rolls around I get all excited–like: “time to stop lurking and make some new friends ^.^”.

But then I get some combination of busy/shy and don’t follow up >.<

Mieze
6 years ago

Hey Katherine XII! I hear you, I don’t post much either. This will likely be my post of the month. For whatever reason I’m more shy here than on other sites.

I just typed three or four different sentences and deleted each one. Meh, I will work on that eventually!

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

@Katherine XII:
I know those feelings. I’m very shy in real life, so this sort of text-only interface makes it a lot easier. If you’ve read the site for a while, then you probably know us all moderately well; and if you haven’t left in disgust at the sort of people we are, then that probably means we’ll like you too.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
6 years ago

@Katherine XII

I used to post pics of my cross-stitch every month, basically without comment. I made a lot of new friends that way!

(for anyone who cares, I haven’t worked on it in ages so … no point in new pics, but SOON …. MAYBE)

Monzach
Monzach
6 years ago

Who has two thumbs, was supposed to get paid today, didn’t and so now has less than a dollar to feed himself for the foreseeable future? This guy! *points at himself* 🙁

I have some muesli and a little yoghurt to go with it, so I’m not entirely without food, and of course I have all the water I can drink. Let’s hope that I get my money tomorrow…

Luzbelitx
6 years ago

Woow so much going on here! Hugs to all shy people out there (my womanly self is pretty social and outgoing, my masculine self, not so much).

And Monzach, I’m sorry you’re going through that and hope it gets better soon!!

I know this thread went a bit cold already but anyways… I’m writing a series of articles for my professional blog, analyzing the responses from men to the protest #NiUnaMenos (against violence towards women).

I chose two articles, one from an academic/philosopher in a left-leaning newspaper, and one from a mediocre writer who quoted GirlWritesWhat and Warren WTF Farrell in a national right-wing (as in, really, really far right we’re-not-sure-human-rights-are-all-that-good right) newspaper.

There was so much wrong all over the place I decided one article wouldn’t be enough, and now I’m using those two articles as raw material for an analysis of the new misogyny (defined as the strategies of traditional misogyny to blend into the equality discourses).

I’m outlining a few basic rules, and then pulling examples from the texts being analyzed, such as “don’t talk to women” “violence is unavoidable” “reverse-feminism” “sexist stereotypes” etc.

It’s taking some time but I feel it’s worth it, since there isn’t a lot of information in Spanish on how to spot the most common antifeminist tropes, and most extreme antifeminism is only becoming noticed because of the protest #NiUnaMenos. So it’s sort of the ideal time to put my thoughts out there.

Of course it’s most likely I won’t be featured in a national newspaper, but that’s also sort of my argument to begin with ????

I’m also using every chance I get to quote David and Miguel Lorente, the Spanish dude who was quoted here regarding the video “violence is violence”.

All those days reading WHTM for hours on end are finally paying off!!

(I wonder if I will need to make a post about memes, since there are plenty of antifeminist memes in Spanish, and they are equally disturbing, confusing and hilarious as their English counterparts)

Gil
Gil
6 years ago

I don’t know how to deal with the fact that my boyfriend is something in the realm of an MRA/gamegater/anti-feminist. I know of a blog he hasn’t actively hid from me but also has not told me about, and he reblogs lots of “Oh lol those SJWs and PC police and tumblrinas and feminists” shit. He’s privileged enough to be far removed from all this. It’s sort of an intellectual game to him, I guess, these camps of internet hate and rhetoric. His blog reads like a parody of a reddit was built as an AI.

There’s good odds he may be moving for work in the next few months, so part of me wants to do nothing about this and just let him drift away the and say good riddance without ever bringing it up.

Still though, look at the level of shittiness here: https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/2383368/redacted.tumblr.com/redacted.tumblr.com/index.html I can’t stop visiting and fixating on how much awful shit he’s unthinkingly endorsing. He’s college educated and dropped out of grad school. Him being into this MRA/GG shit just seems like intellectual laziness, like he’s found a movement that questions as few as the assumptions he was raised with as possible.

Hambeast, Social Justice Road Warrior
Hambeast, Social Justice Road Warrior
6 years ago

Gentle internet hugs for all of the shy folk out there. I think I’m one of those people that intimidate you; I’ve been told as much about three times in my life and it always surprises me! I get a bit shy in new social situations, although repeated exposure brings me out of my shell pretty fast. Anyway, I’m trying to be more sensitive about shy people…

RoscoeTCat: If you’re still out there – No, I don’t work at a grocery (although I kinda wish I did; it’d be cooler) I work at a U.S. based fabric and craft chain and we take competitor coupons as well as our own.

It’s kind of amazing (if I think about it) how many people are kind of bad at working their smartphones! I’m not even counting the older people who have had one foisted on them by their children (sometimes against their will.)

Monzach
Monzach
6 years ago

I’m happy to report that I did, in fact, get paid today. It happened later than usual, true, but it did happen. I’m just very glad that I decided to go check my account status on the ATM during my outing today. I was quite happy to cut my walk a bit short and go grocery shopping instead. 🙂 And don’t worry, I did manage to finish my walk as well, a bit later. 😀

Hopefully everyone else has a lovely Monday, wherever you may be. 🙂

Internet hugs to all that wish to have some.

Kestrel
Kestrel
6 years ago

I’m not sure if this belongs in this open thread or the other one but I wanted to make sure people could see this job posting.

If you are in the Croyden area and looking to write for a video gaming site, videogamer.com is looking for a new employee.

http://www.videogamer.com/news/come_and_work_at_videogamer_com.html

ryeash
6 years ago

So I just had yet another panic attack. This one woke my boyfriend up. He panicked and raised his voice, trying to get me to lie back down so I could breathe, but his reaction was scaring me even more, and I had to go off to myself and talk myself down (I have way too much experience with this) before I fucking hyperventilated to death. He got mad, we fought, and now I feel worse.

The nightmare was about him trying to kill me. I know this would never happen, but everything felt real–from the punches to the mix of betrayal and terror that was the same as what I used to feel when my ex would hurt me or scream at me.

I tried to Google it for him, but he barely glanced at the info and went back to saying he didn’t understand, and I shouldn’t have expected him to in that moment. I get it–and I didn’t expect that, which is partially why I went off on my own for a bit to calm down. Now I’m feeling defensive, because although I get that he doesn’t understand, I wish he’d try. This is obviously not something that’s just going to go away. He did the same with my Bipolar Disorder, telling me to just explain things rather than reading the books/articles I gave him (he’s an avid reader and especially loves non-Fiction). How? How do I just explain something that took me years to understand myself?

I feel weird and off-putting and tired and alone.

Biot (on a different browser this time)
Biot (on a different browser this time)
6 years ago

Rough news: one of my family’s cats probably won’t make it another 24 hours.

Tiger, one of our shorthaired tabbies, is fifteen years old and has had some kind of nerve damage to his hindquarters and maybe a broken tail; we don’t know what happened, but all we know is that his tail is at a permanent crook near its base.
He’s been a source of grief–pestering Lightning, the (now four years gone) queen of the household, pooping on new carpet and forcing us to confine him and his brother from the same litter to the main rooms of the house, and needing to be fed pumpkin to prevent constipation.

He has also been a source of love and joy: he didn’t purr much until about a year or two back, but when he did it was a deep, soporific rumble that could put you to rest or convince you to nap with him. He would hop up onto the sofa if you were lying down and start kneading and purring, maybe settling down on or beside you for a nap if you were still enough.He even had a routine with my sister when we lived at home: she would wake up in the mornings, sometimes/often with him beside her head. He would then follow her into her bathroom and wait for her to wash her face, after which he would hop up onto the bathroom counter to lick the water left behind on the sink. You could also find him stretched out under sun beams or on our screen porch during the summer.

Age was getting to him, though. He wasn’t as active as he used to be, and he started losing weight. We really noticed his turn for the worse a few weeks ago: he wasn’t eating as much and losing weight, he was having trouble hopping up onto chairs or our sofa, and he couldn’t really sit down, possibly because his hind legs were growing weaker or were getting arthritic.

Now the end is near. He’s hardly moving about, has to ease himself down like an old man sitting in a chair as he lies down; he hardly eats or drinks, and can’t hold down what he consumes; and it seems he barely responds to our touch. Tonight, though, he purred faintly when my sister and I were saying our goodbyes, and he mustered the strength to go down a few stairs to see us off.

He might be put down tomorrow. It will be traumatic to take him to the vet when he’s so weak and confused, but I hope that we can secure a peaceful passing for him instead of letting death steal him away in bits and parts.

I’m sorry that I have to drag other people into my troubles, particularly since I’m an infrequent commenter at best on WHTM. It’s just hard to go it alone.

dhag85
6 years ago

@Biot

🙁 Many hugs and much support. There are few things worse than seeing a cat in that state. Best of luck with everything.

contrapangloss
6 years ago

Blot, all the hugs.

We can be pet grievers together: My parents called this weekend to tell me they had to put Bailey (my pup with bone cancer from past open threads) down, because they weren’t able to control his pain anymore.

I could use a hug, too.

Also, funny in bad way. I made the mistake of coming to work at the University today instead of calling in sick, and promptly locked my keys in the car. So now I’m stuck. At work. Until things settle down enough for one of my coworkers to give me a ride home. So I can try and find my AWOL spare keys last seen 2 months ago.

I hate Mondays.

At least my office is the tissue storage office, so I have adequate tear suppression material!

weirwoodtreehugger
6 years ago

Hugs to Blot and Contrapangloss. Losing a pet is so hard. Do people think that an open thread for memorializing pets – whether they died yesterday or twenty years ago – would be a good idea? If so I can email David and request it.

Biot (on a different browser this time)
Biot (on a different browser this time)
6 years ago

Just a little update about Tiger: he’s lived beyond the 24 hours that I predicted in my post above, but we don’t know when he’s going to pass on. He’s grown weaker every day, but he’s gone out to our screen porch to watch birds and rest in the sun. He had to be carried outside in his (badly stretched) shoebox that he’s claimed as a bed today because he was too weak, though.

In other news, my sister rescued a large monarch caterpillar from our backyard–the only one out of five eggs we found to survive–and has it in a mesh-topped jar with a liberal amount of milkweed leaves inside. Little Guy, as I’ve taken to calling it, is about two inches long, as thick as a #2 pencil, and a noisy eater; I can hear it demolishing another leaf as I type this. It won’t be long before it turns into a chrysalis, but I wonder if it’ll wait through the winter before it becomes a monarch or if it’ll try to fly down to Mexico ahead of the oncoming chill.

Biot (on a different browser this time)
Biot (on a different browser this time)
6 years ago

Well, it’s time to put an end to my talk about Tiger. I went home last night, spent some time comforting him, and said my goodbyes. He died peacefully before my parents went to bed. Everyone in my immediate family managed to see him yesterday before he drifted off this mortal coil; I don’t know if he was waiting for all of us to see him one last time, but it eases my mind to believe that.

God, I’ll miss him so.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
6 years ago

Hugs if you want them. =(

EJ (The Other One)
EJ (The Other One)
6 years ago

Rest in peace, Tiger.

All my hugs, Biot. Losing a beloved cat can be hard; I’ve been there before. For all that we joke about cats being evil and malicious, they are genuinely very loving animals and mean a lot to us. It’s really good that the whole family could be there with him to see him go.

Biot (on a different browser this time)
Biot (on a different browser this time)
6 years ago

Aw, thanks guys…

dumbassapostrophe
dumbassapostrophe
5 years ago

Hi everyone! I read the site regularly, but don’t post often. However, here I am with a personal rant that I need to get off my chest.
I’m back in a town I used to live in for many years at a bar I used to frequent with my boyfriend. Bartender is a friend of my boyfriend’s and always lets us drink cheap. Tonight we’re paying our ridiculously low tab and he says to my boyfriend “so, are you paying for just you, or are you paying for the girl, too?”

The girl. Because I clearly don’t deserve a name. We’re all the same after all. Even though we’ve known each other for years, I’m just “the girl” that comes with my boyfriend, who is an actual human being with a name and identity.

I get visibly annoyed at my ostensible friend referring to me thusly and he gets offended at my annoyance. Because I clearly should know better than to think he’s sexist (new flash, bro, we’re all sexist until proven otherwise…and even then….).
Gaaaaaaaah! I know that this is so infinitesimal in the grand scheme of things, but that guy’s dickishness + booze make feminist hulk angry!

Also, he was the one letting me drink for basically free, so he was really just asking for the angry feminist to be unleashed. We SJWs can’t control ourselves when we’re tempted like that 😉

So feel free to ignore this. I just feel better knowing someone *might* read it.

weirwoodtreehugger
5 years ago

I hear you. At my work, they were congratulating a coworker for being the most productive on a particular project. It’s by far the most challenging of our products, so it was something she deserved to be commended for. They also announced the second and third places. The first two spots were black women and the third place spot was a white man. Well of course, he piped up and let everyone know that he wasn’t on the project as often as they are.

Idk, maybe he was just being competitive in general. But it very much seemed to me like he thought of himself as the best and was angry at being beaten by women. Particular women of color. I just really think a lot less of him and don’t even like him at all since then. I’m just glad I don’t sit by him most days.

Oh, he also seemed surprised that I’ve been doing well at our new project that’s the same client as the one I mentioned above and is also a really difficult job. So a double fuck you, to him!