So PUA nimrod and would-be philosopher-king Roosh Valizadeh has put on his “science” hat again, reporting what he describes as the “two seismic implications” of a recent study of flies.
The first is that a woman can absorb enough DNA during her lifetime that it changes her phenotype (i.e. her appearance and overall health state). There could be some truth to the phrase “slut face” in which highly promiscuous women suffer a change to their appearance because of all the variable sperm from different males that have been deposited inside them.
Wat.
The second implication stems from the fact that it’s scientifically conclusive that single mothers have DNA of their bastard children residing permanently within their bodies. Any man who reproduces with a single mom will have a child that contains DNA from the bastard spawn, which of course includes DNA from the absentee father. This means that men can be genetically cuckolded without being traditionally cuckolded, and that having a baby with a single mom is essentially giving the father of her first child a bonus prize in the game of evolution.
Now I’m no biologist, but this seems like a giant stinky pile of horseshit to me. I mean, what the hell?
In the interests of actual science — as distinct from PUA “science” — I sent Roosh’s post along to actual biologist PZ Myers.
His first reaction was “ick.” And then he sat down and wrote a post in which he declared that “there’s literally nothing correct in any of that mess” from Roosh I just quoted.
Nothing. Roosh has imposed his faulty, biased interpretation on the work in a way that would certainly horrify the authors.
Naturally, the conclusions that Roosh draws from his completely wrong premises are also completely wrong:
For thousands of years, a woman’s purity was cherished above all else when it came to creating a family. Now the scientific community is confirming the validity of that practice. Until the science is settled, men who insist on reproducing with a promiscuous woman should at least demand to interview her previous sexual partners so he can become familiar with the men whose genes may be passed on to his future children.
I think it’s fairly safe to say that the only DNA Roosh will be passing along to future generations will be found on the kleenex on the floor next to his bed after he dies alone and unloved in whatever obscure country he ends up in because he thinks it’s the least feminist on earth.
You can see PZ’s full takedown here.
And I agree with Kat (above). I think he knows what he has written here is crap, but it feeds the paranoid fantasies of his followers.
@sunnysombrera
Oh I am so going to drink red bull now.
…
Wait, so that’s why it’s called red bull? Eww.
I know about that “slut-face” effect: if you spend ten years having sex with whomever you like, at the end, you’ve become ten years older! It’s SCIENCE!
BS is right. I don’t think that degree is any more real than is his claim that having sex is what he does. No, raping is what he does. And any “degree” he has is purchased from a diploma mill, because that man is obviously too stupid to science.
@moocow Taurine is so named because it was first derived from ox bile. So, not sperm, but not much better really
What I don’t get, is; what they think this would change, even if true? I actually posted a reply on the RoK article (and yes, I feel like I need to scrub both myself and my browser, for engaging on that site) that reads as follows:
“Heh. Even if true, hardly as bad for women as many here think. It would increase genetic variation in offspring, which is a good thing, all-over. The need for a woman’s reproduction to be reserved for only one man who is supposed to be super-awesome-special to her, is just *your* need. Not her need, not the “need” of the specie. If women “absorb” genetics from men, it will for the most part be accepted as a feature, not a bug, and a natural part of her sexuality and reproduction – because it would be.
Seriously. Women would not go back to second-class citizen status and being sexually controlled, just because her having a previous sex life would make *your* cum less genetically special.”
And now to watch the horde of woman-haters descend… or more likely just watch my post get deleted.
I call dibs on Cuckolding Slut Face as the name of my <genre> band.
@Drezden
Heh, yeah that ain’t much better. So strange, who even decided this was something to put in energy drinks? I heard that Taurine basically doesn’t have any effect on our body so why is it found in so many energy drinks? Is it for flavoring?
@Vanir85
You made a cogent response on the ROK website. And you’re brave to post there.
@Kat and Cinzia,
yes I’ve been marvelling at that contradiction ever since I first learned of Roosh and his followers. They loathe promiscuous women, yet devote their lives to pursuing relationship free sex. I have a horrible feeling this why Roosh likes to go around coercing and intoxicating women into sex; in his world, nice girls don’t want to, and they’re the only kind he wants.
What.
This defies logical response.
What exactly is Slut Face? And what makes them think they can tell by looking at someone how many partners they’ve had?
@ sn0rkmaiden
I think you’re looking for reason where there is none.
If however you assume that Roosh and his ilk are driven solely by a hatred of women and a wish to see them humiliated and terrified then everything they do makes sense, from the language to the rape ideology.
I read the comments. The stupidity there is painful to behold. A few have taken Roosh’s idea of “vaginas absorb sperm” and stretched it even further:
Leading on to…
This one, below. What the everloving fuck.
@Buttercup
I don’t even know. It, along with the 1000 Cock Stare, has got to be completely arbitrary and subjective to each different ROKer. Considering that one of the comments said this (I’m really digging out some gold nuggets here):
…then I’m guessing their idea of whether a girl has Slut Face is based on nothing more than
random ideas and feelingsMan Logik.I feel I should throw the Blockquote Mammoth a cookie for not botching up my posts. A cookie for the Strikethrough Mammoth too.
(Keep it up, you two. If you’re well-behaved I may feed you a freshly-caught, still wriggling MRA, sooner or later).
I have lost a couple of babies before they were born and I love the fact that some cells from any baby you’re pregnant with stays in your body. It means I’ll always hold my babies even though I never got to really hold them in my arms.
But no, it doesn’t change your DNA. Roosh, you jackass, I hope you never breed.
These RoK comments are amazing. . . there are idiots that actually think this and take the time to thoughtfully write out these comments . . . just what?
Somehow that guy pontificating about a scientific study on bukkake is just so brilliantly absurd, like you can’t even parody these guys.
Also don’t they realize if this were remotely true that they are having sex with women and thus absorbing DNA . . . I mean women also have fluids. . . but somehow they don’t get “slut face” or the “1000 vagina stare”
But who knows what us wimmin messed around with, exercising our dangerous agency prior to having yer baby:
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcT3ml-tcrSpk8IkQxtubvdqgoRrW4dGvCX4JP01YW0gGhKLWOpO5g
We luv those bad boys!
@cupisnique
Nah, they just become MOAR ALPHA. I think there is an achievement men can unlock whereas if they sleep with 1000 women they turn into Chuck Norris.
Wait, does that mean women everywhere naturally carry the same genes as Chuck Norris? If I absorb genes from another man’s sperm, can I then pass on those genes to the next man I sex? Can I set up a business where I bang a hot guy then bang a not-so-hot guy with the promise that it’ll improve his looks?
SO MANY QUESTIONS.
Sunny,
That last one is priceless. It’s like a really pretentious way to ask the pre-sex educated grade schooler question “can you get pregnant from kissing?”
Roosh doesn’t even know the half of it. Women actually co-evolved with men as a separate species. They started out as amorphous blobs of protoplasm that would prey on humans. Over time, as they absorbed more human DNA, they became more and more like us. they also reproduced through mitosis. Any genes absorbed by one female organism were passed on to the next one as a near exact copy.
I know this is all true because a similar process occurred with mitochondria. Therefore, I can extrapolate that it also occurred with feeemales and you can’t tell me i’m wrong because it means you’re “denying biology.”
WWTH
Every time I read it I find more nonsense I didn’t notice before. No dude, semen does not get absorbed under the tongue. It is not a drug (no matter how much you dunceheads insist). No, it does not get absorbed into the bloodstream. No, it does not lead to the cells becoming “microchimerized into her genetic makeup” because microchimerism doesn’t work that way! You’re using words you don’t know the meaning of! AGAIN!
This part from Myers’ article made me laugh out loud:
Also… hello again! I was away for a week without my computer, and I couldn’t spend too much time on my aunt’s, and I see that I missed a cool discussion about literary criticism and hobbits over here https://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2015/09/04/who-took-down-roosh-vs-sites-this-week-danes-gays-jews-or-big-toilet-paper/
I want this to be a reality.
…dear me, they actually think that you can absorb sperm cells sublingually?
Dear dudes. Last I checked, sublingual medications must be soluble, as medications administered that way primarily enter by diffusion.
Luckily for successful reproduction (and unfortunately for this unfortunate theory), human germ cells are not soluble.
If they were, we’d be in trouble. As a species. Because nothing would work. Seriously.
Also, microchimerism does not work that way.
It’s amazing to me how this idiot has any followers at all. I wish I could get on ROK, though. Still showing that error for me. I don’t like to miss “alpha try hard,” Troy Francis’s weekly tall tales.
If it makes guys look (or better yet, act) like Marko from Saga, I’m down.
http://media.tumblr.com/560ade8e1b61de8be055e51b257f0d98/tumblr_inline_n60h41E4Ty1qzfyvp.jpg
What the what? Feel sorry for PZ having to rebut such a wild argument. Yet Roosh has fans who take him seriously. Yikes!
China. He will likely die in China where all the women who aren’t married by 25 are actually called “leftover women.”
Or in the case of Roosh, the 30-rape stare.
If I added salamander genes to my cells would Whole Foods refuse to serve me because I’d be a GMO? Could I give people GMO cooties by breathing on them?
So, wait, is this like Spiderman getting “injected” with spider DNA, only it doesn’t even have to be radioactive?
I’m off to go ride the Alpha Cock Carousel and gain the proportionate strength of ten men.
According to Roosh’s article, this entire premise seems to hinge on whether sperm enters a woman’s body at some point in her life. So really, a woman can have sex with as many partners as she wants, provided a condom has always been used, thereby eliminating the chance of any part of her pure body from being soiled by another man’s splooge. It’s almost like a back-handed attempt to promote the widespread use of condoms, from a guy who doesn’t like to use them.
If there was any legitimacy to his article, then we’d have to worry about all the little Roosh bastards that he has indirectly sired across Columbia and Eastern Europe. Denmark, you are safe…for now.
http://www.commdiginews.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/roosh1.jpg
Or maybe:
http://www.pualingo.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/roosh-v-pua-220×300.jpg
Hm… maybe Roosh was just reading a few old copies of Der Stürmer? The Nazis, who were, after all, famous for their firm grasp of science (irony alert, needless to say), just “thought” the same: the pure Aryan maiden’s womb would be spoiled- and irreversibly lost to the Master Race- by even one drop of Jewish seed. Hence their vile attacks (among countless others) on Jewish-Gentile couples. It really is a rather distasteful parallel, to put it mildly, but given that this guy- who drags the the name of a noted Achaemenid emperor into the mud- is quite the anti-semitic nut…
JESUS CRHSIT I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THOSE PHOTOS THE FUCK
I don’t get what’s so shameful about harboring a few alleles that aren’t from your parents. Genes get combined and recombined all the time. It’s not as if an individual’s DNA sequence is permanent and unassailable. It doesn’t persist for more than a few generations before being watered down by subsequent pairings (assuming you’re not the Hapsburgs). Roosh is just imagining that his cuckolding paranoia and purity fetish play out at the cellular level, too. Next he’ll be using bad science to prove that promiscuous women have “slut” quarks whose spin is permanently altered by “charm” quarks from Chad spooge. It’s fractal douchebaggery.
Maybe it’s not a bad thing that Roosh and his followers are constantly freaking out over slut-shaming woo. The smaller the pool of women they consider acceptable, the better for all of us.
@sunny – AIEE!!! I just threw a beer at my screen!
Those Roosh pics.
http://i2.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/080/164/364.jpg
http://www.bsd-box.net/~mikeg/blog/uploads/entry_media/Misc/DONOTWANT_cat.jpg
http://awesomegifs.com/wp-content/uploads/llama-cant-deal-with-it.gif
You know, if roosh ever gets arrested for something the media will have no shortage of creepy picture of him to use.
Did you at least bless it first?
That would certainly explain why so many MRAs look like somebody’s glued googly eyes to their pictures.
I’m sure he thinks he’s projecting smoldering seduction vibes, but really, all I’m getting is a massive dose of Teh Creepeh.
I take my thyroid meds sublingually, and it takes about 15 minutes for the pill to fully dissolve. Somehow I can’t picture a woman lounging around the house with a mouth full of jizz long enough for it to actually absorb. Also omg – my meds are derived from pig thyroid, which means I am part pig now, according to AssScience. Bonus! I shall await my truffle-finding super powers.
Well yes, this is why when you’re thirsty you just jump in the shower, or put your hand under the tap. Soaks it right up in there, into all the cells and stuff. I have my foot in a pot of tea right now. Delicious.
Has anyone ever ridden their bike through a cloud of gnats and accidentally swallowed one? I guess we’re all part gnat now.
Also, if you eat meat, eggs, and dairy do you become part whichever animal you’ve consumed?
Oh my various gods …. Don’t post pictures of Roosh without warning! I almost punched my laptop!
Ridden bike AND walked. And it’s happened with mosquitoes, too. I guess that explains my urge to mill around in mid-air and emit high-pitched whining buzzes…
@Paradoxical – Oops, no, I forgot to bless it. But I am burning sage to purify my tablet.
@Tracy – What kind of tea is it? It could be altering your ethnicity.