The Ask the Red Pill subreddit (r/AskTRP) is an odd little creature. While the main Red Pill subreddit is an arena filled to overflowing with comically swaggering self-proclaimed alpha dogs, all competing to out-alpha one another, AskTRP is an endless parade of insecurities.
Ostensibly a place where uncertain Red Pill newbies can turn for advice and worldly wisdom from experienced “alphas,” the subreddit is really an object lesson in the many ways “red pill” thinking can fuck up your life and your relationships. The questions being asked are cringeworthy; the answers only a little less so.
One hapless would-be alpha wonders what to do about his girlfriend … walking in front of him.
Still very knew to TRP. Im not exactly sure how to respond to this. If its a shit test or a symptom of failing many shit tests all together. Anyways, whenever we walk (which we do often, bring dog to park, around the hood, whatever) she tries to walk a half step in front of me.
The horror!
Last time we were walking back the 3 blocks from the market and I was in front she kept speeding up. So I would speed up, the pace got absolutely laughable. How would you deal with this, lets say walking through the park and she keeps jumping out front?
Instead of shaking this “knew” Red Piller and telling him to chill the fuck out because who fucking cares, you could just ask her to slow down a little jesus christ what the fuck is your fucking problem, the regulars offer an assortment of Red Pill clichés seemingly designed to heighten his insecurities and turn his girlfriend’s walking habits into some sort of contest.
Then you set the pace. Slow down and let her ass walk away.
To me this is a chance to play dumb games with her if that’s what she wants to do. Make stops when you want, change directions, go your own way and make her follow your lead.
When in doubt, act like a petulant teenager who’s never been in a relationship before.
Another newbie wonders what to do now that he’s no longer the buffest dude in his church group. No, really.
So long story short ive been going to church and most guys dont lift there or arent in very athletic shape, but today we got a new guy and when he went up to take the podium i felt sort of amogged (biceps wise).
AMOG= Alpha Male of the Group. The dude was out-alphaing him with his giant biceps.
Dude was in a shirt showing off his building like frame and it got to me. My pride took a hit because i could literally feel the temperature rising as the women and men stared in awe of his Sylvester stalone like stature.
I dunno, ask him out, maybe?
How do i deal with no longer being the one with the most impressive biceps? Can i supplement it with other things? For example, im 3 years older than the dude and i have good game, more knowledge about women’s nature than he does, so do you think its not the end of the world no longer being the most ‘alpha’ looking of the group?
And a would-be alpha teeters on the edge of self-awareness.
I am starting my bulk next week because i realized im not as big as i could be.
… and plunges back into insecurity.
And no, im not insecure im just curious about how to stand out as alpha amongst someone twice your size. The girls were giving me the googly eyes before and id like to keep it that way. I must stay AMOG .
Dude, get a grip on yourself.
In this case, the advice is much less cringey than the question. Sure, there’s one guy who tells him he absolutely needs to get bigger and buffer than his new rival, and another who sniffs that “‘going to church’ is kinda beta in my books,” but a few others tell him to, you know, not get so fixated on the size of another dude’s biceps, because that way endless insecurity lies.
there’s always going to be somebody bigger and better at something than you are. you should work on not letting it effect you more than you should work on getting bigger than the bigger guy or smarter than the smarter guy.
Elsewhere in the subreddit, another would-be alpha is stunned to discover that, contrary to a lot of Red Pill “teachings,” acting like a serial killer doesn’t always inspire adoration from the ladies. After snapchatting flirtatiously with a new prospect, he reports,
she tells me I scare her. I ask how do I scare her and she says she gets dark vibes from me. One of my public snapchat stories was a demonic doodle for shits, gigs, and boredom. I tell her she’s not wrong (I told her in an earlier convo that I’m an asshole) and that she gives off soft sensual vibes.
That’s a first for me to be told I’m scary. I’m not overly concerned but I was surprised that the whole dark thing took a turn that made her stop engaging with me. I thought it was like catnip.
So, so close to self-awareness.
The regulars aren’t much help. “Amused mastery,” advises one. Take her for a ride on your motorcycle, advises another. Still another suggests what he apparently thinks is “humor.”
[Agree] & [Amplify] with a sexual twist. “Yeah I get that a lot cuz I make the ladies scream” gotta be witty man especially when texting / snapping sexual stuff.
Another notes that real serial killer types don’t actually try to come across as serial killer types.
Dark triad isn’t attractive as such imo; there’s an overlap between alpha traits and dark triad traits, sure, and that is what the girls want while the rest is a turn off. Actual psychopaths wear a facade and don’t show their true colors when they want to manipulate people; there’s a reason for that.
WWTBD: What Would Ted Bundy Do?
In another thread, an aspiring alpha wonders if it might be a good idea to read something other than The Red Pill subreddit or self-help books.
So I woke up today and I work through tasks for like 4 hours, rest, go to the gym, watch a movie (going through the IMBD top 100 so I catch up with pop culture so I can entertain a conversation with a boring girl sometimes),
Wat.
then right back to cleaning room / washing clothes. I was thinking about getting a fiction book from this list:
He links to a rather unimaginative list of old-school literary classics that he found on a forum devoted to fitness.
But then I thought… “What would Red pill do in my position”. I could be meditating or continuing to read through Book of Pook or these other books but I feel like I should also be giving myself time when I don’t work. How valid is that? Lastly… fiction, or no fiction?
Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I’m not going to bother with the answers here; suffice it to say that they’re a bit less cringey than the questions.
But it’s striking how many of these would-be alphas sound like the most insecure dudes on planet earth.
I mean, sure, everyone deals with insecurity. And there are few people more insecure than those who, like a lot of these guys, are starting to date for the first time. But fucking hell, man,
The problem isn’t just that “Red Pill” wisdom is turning them into assholes. The Red Pill is quite obviously amplifying their anxieties as well. It’s hard enough to introduce yourself to someone you’re attracted to, but it’s a lot harder if you’re also obsessing about being the Alpha Male of the Group.
Seriously, guys. Chill out. Trying to banish your insecurities by becoming the buffest dude in the church group — or the smoothest Game-spitter at the club — isn’t going to work.
The Red Pill won’t get rid of your insecurities; it will only encourage you to overcompensate for them with misogynistic macho bluster. You won’t emerge from your Red Pill training a happy, secure man who’s a natural with women; you’ll end up an embittered asshole preening and posturing on The Red Pill subreddit. And that’s the BEST CASE SCENARIO.
Fuck that. Be who you are. Read whatever books you want. Stop freaking out that your girlfriend walks a couple of paces ahead of you. Banish the word “alpha” from your life. Move the fuck on.
Fun post.
Also…
The wolves of this world would love it if all humans left the word “alpha” behind. That is all.
#packsarefamilies
If I’m remembering my Sunday School classes correctly, it’s easy enough to take people like that down a peg. You just need to shave their heads, and then chain them to a couple of load-bearing columns so that people can make fun of them during worship services.
Or, wait, was that the thing that we’re not supposed to do? I’d like religion more if it didn’t have so many rules to memorize.
It’s like talking to someone who you know is wrong, but they’ll try and talk their way out of being wrong so they’ll look technically correct. :/
Don’t you read your Bible? Sure he did! Even on the way to be crucified!
Stand back everyone, nothing here to see. Just imminent danger and in the middle of it me. Yes, Captain Hammer’s here, hair blowing in the breeze. The day needs my saving expertise. Man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. Seems destiny ends with me saving you. The only doom that’s looming is in loving me to death. I’ll give you a second to catch your breath.
Does this man not work for a living?
Jobs are beta, like friendships and hobbies. A Dark Triad Red Pill Alpha Male is too busy with his intense daily regimen of dark alpha napping, dark alpha watching Netflix, and doing the dark alpha laundry.
Seriously, though, the full post explains that this is how he spends his evenings. He can’t go out because he lost his driver’s license, probably after some Chad with giant biceps threw his car in a tree.
I’m totally with “guest” above. If someone always walked ahead of me like that (now that I’m back on the scene) that would be a ‘discontinue’. My ex did that no matter how much I complained about it. He would leave me behind on the other side of the street when “we” crossed a road, even when I was heavily pregnant. Shows complete disregard of the other person and an inability to consider their feelings or act in coupledom.
This also shows the complete danger of the redpill philosophy. I’d be willing to bet that she’s just not a very good girlfriend and instead of counselling him on looking at other signs of dysfunction in the relationship they encourage him to be even more dysfunctional.
David and commenters have some really, really good advice for these guys: Relax. Be yourself.
It’s a shame that these people didn’t have better role models.
Here’s my short list of advice for the red pillers:
1. Learn to laugh at yourself.
2. Take up meditation.
3. Treat others the way you’d like to be treated.
I’m working on all this stuff myself. It’s a lifelong process.
Quick quiz. In such a situation, do you:
1. Trust your judgement of the situation, based on your extensive experience with your partner.
2. Talk it over with one or two good friends who know both of you.
3. Turn for advice to a bunch of Internet dudes, none of whom have ever met either of you, and most of whom will care more about demonstrating their alfafaness than about genuinely helping you?
I have to say, I bet these same douche-canoes would find it superficial and boring of her if a feeemale made exactly the same lifestyle choices they make.
“Ugh, all she talks about it dieting and exercise. She’s so shallow, she doesn’t even read anything or watch a movie unless it’s on a Buzzfeed list somewhere. She comes across as so fake on social media, it’s unreal”.
Dollars to donuts they’d roll their eyes disparagingly at any woman who sounds like they do.
Things to do this weekend:
1. Laundry.
2. Copy down about half a dozen of these questions.
3. Retell the story from the point of view of the woman.
4. Gender-invert them.
5. Feed them back into /r/AskTRP
6. Watch!
7. Bake bread.
Orrrrrrr MAYBE it’s because she’s never had anal with anyone, and never wanted to, because anal isn’t everyone’s thing, nor should it be. Ever thought of that?
(Ugh. These guys. UGH.)
More likely a Dark Triad Alpha™ road rage incident in which alcohol was a factor.
@ Bina – “Get your dread on” ?! That basically means she won’t do anal, and now he’s advised to threaten her until she does. D: I fear for her.
I really hope these jerks aren’t actually going to carry out this advice and physically intimidate their girlfriends into catering to their egos, but TRP is basically just abuser school at this point.
My Dad does this, which has led to decades of testy frustration for the rest of our family. He barrels ahead, ignoring us. I’ve actually been left behind, even as a child, because I stopped and foolishly assumed he was aware of my actions and/or existence. He also every so often gently but firmly pushes us if we’re ahead of him and not moving fast enough for him.
It took me until adulthood to realize it’s due in part to some form of non-diagnosed social phobia; my dad hates crowds, strangers, the outdoors, noises and people in general. I finally pieced it together when I watched him have a meltdown while we were trapped in the middle of a boisterous Puerto Rican Day parade.
That said, my Dad, while good natured, is remarkably insensitive to other people’s feelings and we constantly have to remind him to slow the fuck down. Telling him we don’t like the pushing thing has no real effect, so we now go straight to saying “push me again and I’ll throw you in front of a bus”, which usually works.
My husband did this (more when we started dating) still does every now and then, and it’s annoying. I’ve talked with him about it a bunch of times and he’s gotten better. I tend to ‘go my own way’ so to speak, if we’re just wandering and looking at stuff and catch back up with him later instead of getting upset. I’ve also come to the conclusion that my gait is just naturally slower than most and hubby’s is on the faster side due to his height and long legs.
tl;dr I can understand the annoyance in the OP, however, communicating about it is the way to go!
I think that Buttercup Q. Skullpants has a point. They don’t seem to be actually interested in the women they pursue, except as points-scoring against other Red Pillers. Women really are the ball.
Dear WHTM, my cat always walks in front of me, especially when I’m carrying an overflowing laundry basket or colander of boiling hot pasta. How can I maintain frame?
Or maybe she tried it and decided she didn’t like it and doesn’t want to do it anymore. People are allowed to change their minds about things. TRPers have this foolish idea that once a woman does a thing once, sexually, she is then obligated to do that thing from then on with all future partners. If she won’t do it with them, then it means they’re less of a man.
It’s like saying that because you used to listen to a certain band, you have to keep on listening to them for the rest of your life, and you’re never allowed not to like them anymore. Even when they turn out to be jerks, or you get bored with them, or they suddenly decide to become a Lawrence Welk polka cover band.
That mindset explains why Sonic The Hedgehog still has diehard fans even though there hasn’t been a great Sonic game since ’94. =P
“Do I dare to eat a peach?”
No, dude, you do not dare eat a peach. Peaches are pink, soft, velvety, and feminine. They look like they’re packed with estrogen and probably they are. They go into pastries; they go into pies. They pair well with sugar. Cut one in half and — well, you know. Not only that but it leaks. Yiiiiiicccchhhh. Am I right?
No one ever got bigger by eating a peach. No one ever got manlier by eating a peach. The only reason all those Asian martial artists get away with all the peachey stuff is that they’re so manly to begin with; they can wear peach silk and sleep on peach couches and eat all the peaches they want and no one’s going to give them any grief over it. But you have to ask yourself — are you in that league, son?
You can wear a peach shirt if you’ve got a black belt, so be honest with yourself: have you got a black belt? (You’d be amazed at knowing how much true manliness goes with knowing how to accessorize.)
So, yeah, there are some guys out there who are alpha to the extent that they can man up and deal with a peach, but we’ve gotta be realistic and admit that not all dudes have that in them. It takes a big set of pecs (that’s pectorals and not pectin, son) to offset the challenge of a bunch of squishy fruit — it’s like it sets you all the way back in the Greek alphabet at a distance of about ten or twelve paces. You go from alpha to beta to gamma to zeta and all the way down to epsilon in about the time it takes you to draw in one luscious breath. So basically, a peach is a good thing to stay away from and that’s what a smart man will do.
Short version: do you dare eat a peach? The answer to that is, in most cases, no. Unless you are already exceptional in some way and have testosterone or cash to burn, don’t go there. ‘Cuz, man, you just don’t know what the long-term effects will be. If you’re an industry-standard guy you don’t dare eat a peach. Eat a carrot, eat a pickle, eat some corn on the cob. Earn some points by eating meat. But no peach no peach no peach no peach. There, I said it (it’s only what everybody’s thinking anyway). Do not dare go eat a peach. (Well, maybe if it was just about the last thing on earth to eat.) Do not dare go eat a peach, it will make your complexion soft and smooth. It will make your voice go way up high. Do not dare go eat a peach — don’t you even think about it.
I know that the answer to this is probably going to be depressing, but what in the name of Sweet Baby Cheeses is the Book of Pook? Anyone?
If we’re talking about walking in front of or behind someone… there’s a reason I prefer to do the shopping on my own. If I take my partner with me, he inevitably walks behind me and slightly to the side, right in my blind spot. Drives me batty, because I never quite know where he is and I worry about losing track of him. The only way I can get him to walk beside me is by holding hands with him, and this is rather difficult to do when you’re attempting to steer a standard supermarket shopping trolley.
I think it means “threaten to leave her until she gives in”. Which is still shitty, but hey: since he’d only be threatening to leave her, and she’d be better off without him, it’s not nearly as shitty as the alternative. On the contrary, it’d be the best thing for her. Who wants a guy who’s constantly pestering you to do shit you don’t want to do, or else he’s outta there to go pester someone else?
This too. If you’ve tried something and know it’s not for you, that’s reason enough to respect your “no”. And if he can’t…well, he’ll be one more thing you tried and know he’s not for you!
Walking is just one of those things you instinctively do one way, so if you’re walking with someone else, odds are you don’t both walk the same way and someone is going to get ahead or fall behind or be in someone else’s way.
@bekabot, 7.19pm – you made me laugh out loud. Paticularly this bit:
Thanks, I needed that.