So Men’s Rights creeper Sage Gerard (aka Victor Zen) has decided to fight against the alleged epidemic of false rape accusations by giving out and/or selling condoms with really stupid slogans on them.
He recently popped up in the Men’s Rights subreddit to publicize his campaign and to ask for advice on which of six stupid slogans he should use. You can see them all in the graphic above. Yes, those are his real slogans.
I sort of think that we here at WHTM can do better. Feel free to suggest improved slogans below. Or make your own graphics!
Here’s one I came up with:
H/T — r/againstmensrights
@AltoFronto – LOL!
What exactly are “legal etchings”, anyway? Are case summaries being written on plexiglass?
Furthermore, Kegel exercises aren’t “stretchings”. They’re strengtheners. You don’t want stretched pelvic floor muscles. The whole point of Kegels is to tighten up the pelvic floor, usually after surgery or pregnancy. The college-age girls MRAs hold up as the ideal probably aren’t doing Kegels on the regular.
Further furthermore, nobody should be attempting to knead pelvic floor muscles, manually or otherwise. Ugh. Nope nope nope nope.
That whole slogan is so strange and ignorant.
BEWARE THE SPERM-JACKER!
I know it’s not very original, but it’s shocking to me that they wouldn’t display their condom particularities on the condoms themselves.
All court illustrations are printed using acid-dipped copper plates? I don’t even…
“Kegels” are just totally unsexy. All of that slogan is just totally unsexy.
The other 5 are a Big Red Flag for MRAssholism, but number 6 just swallows its own feet and merrily rolls off to play a pig-piano on Jupiter, it’s so divorced from reality.
The more I think about what 6 is supposed to mean, the more scared I get.
5 is accidentally revealing. Game is in fact, about finding a way to get around consent rather than finding a way to obtain it.
@Paradoxical Intention: “It’s articles like this that make me realize how hilariously sad it is that these men love heterosexual sex so much, but hate the women they want to have it with.” YES!! I keep thinking that if they weren’t gaming women into sex and “relationships” in the first place, consent would be simple.
@kirbywarp
Ha, ha! True!
And the difference between Dr. Bronner and Sage Gerard is that (the late) Dr. Bronner, a true eccentric, spreads peace and love:
Plus his family-owned company makes a great soap–and now toothpaste.
I’d love to see the above message in tiny, tiny print on a condom wrapper.
ALL-ONE!
Okay, so I’m gonna be generous as all get-out and make the kindest possible assumptions I can:
1: Despite being an MRA douchebag, the buyer of these condoms actually does do consent right, in the sense of getting ongoing agreement to all acts performed by either party, sans intoxication.
2: Despite being an MRA douchebag, the buyer is also actually able to acquire such consent from multiple partners. Most likely, this involves women deciding that the dick attached to the douchebag has enough value in its own right to be worth kicking him out of her room after they’re done.
Now, since we know that MRA douchebags believe that women will deliberately hold back on rape accusations until well after the events so as to make the most impact/most difficult rebuttal/etc. In order to be effective as a defense, then, the MRA douchebag would need to keep not just their most recent instance of surreptitiously recorded sex, but also all prior instances.
Since consent is ongoing, yes, such recordings would need to be of the entire act as well as the lead-up.
Now, let us further suppose our hypothetical MRA douchebag achieves unicorn status by ALSO being falsely accused of rape by one of his partners. The cops come and talk to him at his dorm room, to hear his side of things. Here’s how the interview goes:
MRAD: “Hey, look, guys, you’ve got it all wrong. I had consent, and I can prove it!”
Cop: “Oh, yeah? How?”
MRAD: “Well, see, I’m smart. I record it all, so you can see I got consent!”
Cop: “Wait, you recorded it, with her knowledge?”
MRAD: “Oh, no, I didn’t tell her about it. I just do it for my own protection.”
Cop: “You always do this?”
MRAD: “Hells yeah, Brocop! I ain’t gonna risk getting a false rape accusation on my record!”
Cop, nodding sagely: “Sounds like a pretty good plan. Can we see the video?”
MRAD: “Sure thing! Got it right here on my laptop.”
[MRAD opens laptop, opens file folder labeled “Rape Accusation Prophylactics” and opens the most recent of a dozen files.]
Cop, after watching enough to confirm MRAD’s story: “Well, that proves it. She was lying, you got consent.”
MRAD: “Thanks, Dudecop!”
Cop: “You’re welcome. Now put your hands behind your back. You’re under arrest.”
MRAD: “Wait, what? Oh, for the recording? Fine, it’s still less of a sentence, I might just have to pay a fine.”
Cop: “Well, yeah, for that video. But for all the others? In the state of Illinois, each of those is a separate offense that can carry up to 3 years in jail. And I gotta tell you, pal, this is gonna be a hell of a lot easier to prosecute than a rape case. So instead of a longshot risk of getting 4 to 15, you’re certain get as much as 12-36, if the judge makes ’em all consecutive!”
MRAD: “Nooooooooooo!”
“Destroy Immediately After Use to Prevent Sperm-Jacking.”
“Caution: Sex is not recommended for MRMs, Red Pillers, PUAs, or Roosh V.”
I’m well and truly baffled by what they’re trying to tell me to do. I get that “knead kegel stretchings” is the least appealing anyone has ever coined for having sex, but “read legal etchings”? What, am I supposed to bring Supreme Court opinions to read?
Or are they just so rapey they’re already planning out their defense before having sex.
“Wankers of the world unite!”
“Foreplay well before using.”
“The pen is in your hand.”
Um, Kegels are contractions, not “stretchings”. Also, how the hell does one “knead” that?
These guys obviously don’t know what sex is, and Sage Gerard has just tipped his hand as never having had any. (Outside of maybe a knothole in an old tree, that is.)
Well I don’t think Madison Avenue will be knocking down Gerard’s door any time soon. Number six is unbelievable.
@SFHC:
That… that’s brilliant. Oh my gosh.
Cultural stretchings for make benefit glorious kneadings of Kegel…
It’s shit like this that makes the fleeting moments MRAs pretend to care about male rape victims so infuriating. Sage clearly thinks dudes are ideally non-stop sex machines, what with all the thrusting, getting laid and “A Game” bravado. Fore MRAs, rape is really only a problem when women lie about it for some nefarious reason.
OK, I have to be able to come up with something better than “kegel stretchings.”
Get legal aid before you get laid.
Pro bono before pro boners.
Get a cam before you wham, bam, thank you ma’am, or you’ll end up on the lam.
Check legal before you spread eagle
Do not guess, make sure “yes”.
It’s alright to tease just don’t force please.
Um…Consent: It’s not just for dinner anymore.
Let’s be honest redpillers.
Any guy who would actually buy one of these condoms isn’t very likley to ever use it.
Trust before you thrust.
No love, no glove.
Check yourself before you rec yourself
Before doing anything exciting
Get it in writing
And notarized and witnessed on live national television so she can’t back out at the last second, the conniving bitch.
Also I just realized: KEGEL AND LEGAL DON’T EVEN RHYME.
@Buttercup
How do you pronounce it? KAY-gull and LEE-gull rhyme to me.
Check your habeas before you score the hot babeus.
(I’ll get my coat.)
@Pandapool – Well, alright, it’s a slant rhyme, but at least he could have made an effort to rhyme kaygul with bagel (or some such).
Something tells me Sage Gerard thinks it’s pronounced “keegul”, given his track record on anatomy in general.