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Read legal etchings before you knead kegel stretchings: MRAs fight false accusations with baffling new condom-wrapper taglines

Condoms(1)

So Men’s Rights creeper Sage Gerard (aka Victor Zen) has decided to fight against the alleged epidemic of false rape accusations by giving out and/or selling condoms with really stupid slogans on them.

He recently popped up in the Men’s Rights subreddit to publicize his campaign and to ask for advice on which of six stupid slogans he should use. You can see them all in the graphic above. Yes, those are his real slogans.

I sort of think that we here at WHTM can do better. Feel free to suggest improved slogans below. Or make your own graphics!

Here’s one I came up with:

mrasnosex

H/T — r/againstmensrights

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katz
katz
9 years ago

Is he getting these sayings from The Sphinx?

Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
Pandapool -- The Species that Endangers YOU (aka Banana Jackie Cake, for those who still want to call me "Banana", "Jackie" or whatever)
9 years ago
Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

Sorry, but has to be said…
comment image

Caroline Thompson (@MitchTheRobot)

One guy on the subreddit said he actually records consent, even warning women he’s doing it, and explaining why.

That’s your explicit warning not to have sex with them. Never mind that they’re a douchey MRA, you could still easily be raped if you decide some time after the tape that you’ve changed your mind, or they could even do something degrading that you would never consent to in the first place, but later go “sorry honey, it’s on tape!”

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
9 years ago

Uhh… Even if one of these morons did have consensual sex (I know, we’re more likely to meet the Doctor and have magical adventures in Skyrim, Aperture Labs and the Pokemon world together, but hey, hypotheticals) but they recorded it on the sly, wouldn’t that make it, y’know, nonconsensual and illegal again?

???

Alan Robertshaw
9 years ago

@ SFHC

wouldn’t that make it, y’know, nonconsensual and illegal again

Not in the UK or US unless there had been an explicit assertion that consent was conditional on there being no recording.

damselindetech
9 years ago

I mean, there are already some condoms out there with slogans on consent:

http://i.imgur.com/uNNUV.jpg

But I guess maybe those aren’t Alpha or misogynistic enough so, ymmv.

Karki Meade
9 years ago

KEEP IT ALL ABOUT YOU

INCINERATE AFTER USE
AND USE STEEL WOOL ON ANY BODY PARTS THAT TOUCHED HER

THIS WILL NEVER BE USED

OPEN IN CASE OF… WHO AM I KIDDING?

REPRODUCTION IS FOR BETAS
DON’T BE A BETA

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 years ago

“Read Legal Etchings Before You Knead Kegel Stretchings” sounds like some sort of coded WWII poster warning the public to watch what you say, because Emperor Tojo is always listening.

What purpose would these wrappers even serve? The only people who would buy these – manosphere men – are so obsessed with spermjacking and false rape accusations that there’s zero possibility they would need to be reminded in the moment.

No, this is purely douche theater, meant to parody sex ed slogans and bully women. Although frankly, a woman seeing one of those wrappers emerging from a wallet would probably be all “wtf??”, and then suddenly remember she has to “get up early for work”.

Consent is not a once-and-done, irrevocable thing. It’s an ongoing process. Consent is not “is it OK for me to do this to your body now, and if you say yes that means I am allowed to do this same thing to your body whenever I want from now on, and so are other men”. Consent is “is this OK for me to do to your body right now?”. It’s something that does need to be verified each time, but FFS you don’t need a videorecorder and written contract. All you need to do is briefly check in with your partner. MRAs will never, ever understand this. They’re so terrified of simply talking to women (because that would mean treating them like human beings), they’d rather go the sarcastic route and act like they’re negotiating a 99-year lease on the Panama Canal.

reallyfriendly
reallyfriendly
9 years ago

Oh oh oh this is perfect! I do want to help out my fellow men (BLEEHHHHH) here! They have been so misrepresented and oppressed here, so this will count as my charity work today 8p

“Got consent? SHE WILL STILL ACCUSE YOU!”

“Please dis-respect target before use.”

“Tastes like Red Pill!”

“Why are you using me? I reduce your pleasure by 80%!”

“You are 100% effective.”

“Product of the Matriachy. Produced in male-sweatshops everywhere.”

“Only effective if you are on top.”

“Are you sure this is the right size? You are clearly larger than me.”

“Good Game!”

I will be back with more once I can find where my brain has run off to!

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
9 years ago

The problem isn’t that all of these slogans stink so hard they could make Pepe Le Pew recoil… it’s that you can’t just distill the MRA mindset into one catchy slogan! I’m thinking they need to go the same route as Dr. Bronner and fill condom wrappers with tiny walls of rambling text.

Seriously, though, the MRM needs to stay away from short things like catch-phrases and memes. They… just aren’t that good at them.

reymohammed
9 years ago

Alan Robertshaw, there are a number of US jurisdictions that make nondisclosed unilateral recordings inadmissible in court, and sometimes even criminalize them. The exception is if someone is “accidentally” recorded (i.e., outside, while recording birdcalls, or when one’s answering machine defects). Florida is one of them.

Hobbesian Academic
Hobbesian Academic
9 years ago

Shouldn’t the slogans be targeting women? I mean now it seems like these guys fear and hate women!

firechild (@firechild)

I stumbled over this this weekend and thought I would share it with this community. I use to work for a University newspaper eons ago (2004) and I was recently flipping through my scrap book of the articles I wrote and it included one on a men’s group known as the Journeymen who were just starting out at my University (The University of Guelph). And they were amazing! It was lead by a brilliant man who was also in charge of the counseling department at the school and the goal of the group was to dispel negative and false concepts of masculinity and help men change and adapt to modern life. I believe the conference I was writing about was focusing on addressing depression and things like eating disorders in men etc. Rereading this article it reminded me that there are (or were, dunno if this group still exists) decent men’s groups who want to create a better world for everyone. The guy I interviewed praised feminism and said it was because of feminism that he could create a group to address these issues and help men “embrace the parts of masculinity that worked and discard what didn’t”….Granted this was 11 years ago so I have no idea what happened to them but I just thought I’d share here.

Moocow
9 years ago

Apparently some are aware that the recording itself maaaaaaaay have some unethical implications:

Again: tell me which you would rather defend yourself from in court.
Do you want to be defending yourself against an accusation of rape, or do you want to be defending yourself against an accusation of recording without consent?

I get your point, Im simply pointing out that if it becomes a thing feminists will want to make the crime of recording without consent as bad as rape because its being used to “cast doubt on victims”.

Geez, not raping is such a catch 22!

reallyfriendly
reallyfriendly
9 years ago

@firechild Thanks for raising that point. There are groups out there supporting men (I believe David here has a couple of links on his website near the bottom) who are actually doing positive things. One of the reason we heap so much ridicule and scorn on the fools presented here on WHTM is because they don’t really represent a male activist group, more like they are a hateful backlash.

It is a telling sign that most of the actually helpful organisations have no beef with feminism and also want to distance themselves from the MRM movement. Sigh, the lack of self-awareness is strong with these guys.

davidknewton
9 years ago

That sounds amazing, firechild, and it’s good to be reminded 🙂 I was friends with the head of the Men’s Issues committee at my university – I remember he started what he called the Feel Your Balls Campaign for awareness of testicular cancer, therefore doing more for men’s issues than any of the MRAs have in their lives.

Johanna Roberts
9 years ago

Well this is fun. In Gamer Idiot news, the gaters dug up a tweet of mine to srhbutts and have been flooding my mentions with transphobic and misogynistic crap. OH JOY AND RAPTURE. Over a tweet from a year ago. /random

On topic, allow me to just say “lol, what”

katz
katz
9 years ago

I love how poorly these guys have thought their imaginary scenarios. If women could get any guy convicted of rape on their word alone, it wouldn’t matter if the guy filmed it, because they could just say the rape happened earlier or later. In fact, it wouldn’t matter what the guy did; he can hardly unilaterally prove that he was never alone with a particular woman, ever.

lacerta viridis
lacerta viridis
9 years ago

Oh my god, I thought the kegel stretchings one was made up to make fun of them, but… no. No, someone actually seriously thought that was a clever, witty slogan for his bizarre MRA condoms.

The ‘you should definitely record sex because you’ll only get a short jail sentence for recording without consent, compared to rape!’ argument is the creepiest fucking thing I’ve seen in some time though. You know, given that it seems to boil down to ‘hey, there’s a theoretical possibility that someone might falsely accuse you of doing stuff she didn’t consent to, therefore you should DEFINITELY go ahead and just ACTUALLY do stuff she didn’t consent to!’ Flawless logic right there.

Paradoxical Intention
9 years ago

It’s articles like this that make me realize how hilariously sad it is that these men love heterosexual sex so much, but hate the women they want to have it with.

jupitaur
9 years ago

Consent is ongoing. Unless they record you consenting throughout the act, they cannot prove you didn’t rescind consent after they made the recording.

AltoFronto
AltoFronto
9 years ago

I feel like by now I’m pretty familiar with the manurespherians’ ideological points that all of these actually made sense to me….. except for that last one!

David, do you swear that you didn’t make up number 6?? It’s just… I can’t even.
It can only be that someone else penned that last one out of sheer desperation for a rhyming couplet. Do custom-printed condoms only come in a run of 6 or something?

Legal “etchings”?? “Stretchings”?? Why did he choose either of those words to rhyme in the first place? They’re not even the words for the thing they’re meant to describe!! How does “kneading” relate to sex? Oh GOD!!

If Sage Gerard is as clumsy and inexperienced as his slogans and his behaviour at the AVFM convention would suggest, then I doubt he could even have sex with a human being even if he found someone willing to sign the forms in triplicate. He’d be like a turtle trying to hump a flip-flop.

Wilson
Wilson
9 years ago

LOL @Pandapool 😀 Those images made me chuckle.

@Johanna Roberts – That sucks, I don’t know what on earth they think they achieve with that kind of behaviour.

On the topic of the post, I’m starting to wonder if the focus on STEM subjects is sometimes driven by an underlying subconscious recognition of the fact they apparently have no ability to craft words or images into anything vaguely clever or appealing. I mean, it’s okay to not be great at this stuff, but just keep it simple and it’s not too hard to produce something that’s not horrible to read or look at. Simplicity isn’t their strong suite, I suppose.

jfwlucy
9 years ago

There should be some sort of magic ink on the condom itself that appears after it is opened. “Do not touch! Toxic rage enclosed!” “Don’t do it, lady! You deserve better!” “I am a douchebag’s dick!” “Use lube made from male tears only!”

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