I sometimes make fun of Men’s Rights activists for their assorted misunderstandings of feminism. But this guy gets it! I’ve never seen the essence of feminism distilled into a comic as ably as this.
It brings back memories of the first time I read Andrea Dworkin’s classic “Intercourse: You’re Not Getting Any Unless You Pay for My Dinner.”
Found on the Men’s Rights subreddit, with 100 upvotes.
H/T — r/againstmensrights
NOTE: POST CONTAINS SARCASM
Lol, I got etiquette ninja’d!
And there’s nothing more romantic than meeting your date behind the restaurant with the car running after squeezing out of one of those tiny restroom windows.
Whenever I’ve been on a first date, I always offer to pay half and he always says so. I’m sure MRAs can still find a way to make this my fault and evidence that I’m teh evil.
Fruitloopsie, Binjabreel wasn’t calling the woman a whore but was instead talking about what his reaction was as opposed to a misogynist’s reaction.
Which reminds me of this … wonderfulness I found earlier.
http://i.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/article/1/0/7/207107_v1.jpg
Tabby
Ah thanks for clarifying carry on then.
@ Buttercup the scented candle is because women don’t shower, of course.
Yeah, I’m sorry. I thought the intention was clear, but I did have a moment of wondering whether to do my MRA-speak with an asterisk. My apologies.
Next time I want to channel MRA-ese, I’ll try to do it less authentically. 😛
Misha: I love it forever.
Hi. Straight dude here. So… I’ve never had any issue with dividing up the check or “I’ll get this if you get [next thing].” None, at all, ever. Every woman I’ve ever dated has seemed relieved that I was treating her like an independent adult and wasn’t going to try and pay and then hold it over her. The main difficulty has been making sure I’m not freeloading and actually paying for things once in a while. My gf is really bad about this, and I have to keep a running tally to prove that she’s gotten the last few things or she will insist on paying for everything.
I’ve never had any woman complain about me sexually harassing her in any way. Probably because I don’t sexually harass people. This is just basic decency and has not been difficult in the least. I have seen male grad school professors creep on and proposition female students in their classes (systematically and repeatedly, such that one guy would just go from one student to another over the years) and then have it swept under the rug and excused when it came out.
I’ve never worked with a woman who tried to use her gender to get unfair promotions/benefits, but I have seen a lot of qualified women treated and talked about in questionable ways.
I join other posters in doubting that MRAs are basing these gripes, and their all-consuming resentment, on actual first-hand experiences–rather than 80’s teen movies or whatever–which is a uniquely pathetic and sad way to exist.
It is strange that from the artist’s website he seems like a basically decent dude. Maybe he had a bad day and was letting off steam at one particular person with this comic, though that’s not an excuse for the stereotypes.
I once worked with a woman who tried to avoid disciplinary action (she was a toxic, incompetent bully) by making spurious accusations of sexism against her male manager. It’s rare, but people do misuse feminist arguments. I could see that her feminist claims were a smokescreen, but it was frustrating to feel that some people in the office might have seen her as some sort of representative of the movement. Sorry, rambling… My point is that it’s surprising how much people’s opinions of an ideology are shaped by the individuals they know who espouse it.
Unrelated to anything, but this video is just too damn cute to not post:
(One of the guys does say “Crazy,” but I think we can all overlook that for the heart-melting adorableness of two burly dudes rescuing two tiny kittens!)
Oh, no question that there are some women who won’t pay on a day. I worked for a woman who said on a date one should leave her purse at home (!??!!! Um…. That’s where I keep my pepper spray, thanks…). But….. C’mon. This is hardly a thing that’s to be expected at this point, and if you’re dating a woman with those expectations, you probably realize that when you ask her. And, you can always just refuse. Unless, I guess, you wait until presented with a check to work it out.
I’m not really on the let’s excuse this one misogynistic panel because the rest of his work doesn’t seem hateful train. I’ve talked to too many “progressive” men who turn into Rush Limbaugh anytime feminism comes up. If a man knows better than to mock the civil rights, labor rights, or LGBTQ movements, there’s no excuse for misogyny and the mockery of feminists. I’m past believing these guys just got taken in by the popular culture straw feminists and just need an education. These are just guys who fancy themselves progressive and enlightened but still want to cling to one aspect of their privilege and are purposely deluding themselves into thinking sexism isn’t an issue and women who don’t put up with their sexist bullshit are screeching harpies. I’m so done coddling these dudes.
Sorry for the rant. I’m just so sick of guys who think they should get a free pass to say sexist shit just because they’re pro choice and vote for liberals.
And hey, here’s a question…. Why did he go on a date with an empty wallet and wait until the check came to reveal this?
“I’m not really on the let’s excuse this one misogynistic panel because the rest of his work doesn’t seem hateful train.”
Going through all of his comics, this is not anywhere near the theme. He addresses numberous ideas and I guess he decided address this particular viewpoint. I’m not certain that this is a viewpoint he actually subscribes to personally. He has panels that show women in a very positvie light.
@Misha Those xbox prompts over a playstation exclusive is breaking my mind. xD
@Scildfreja,
I checked out his blog, and the most recent comics are pretty cool. They really clash with the reductive crap posted in the OP. Could it be possible the strip has been condensed?
I once saw a lengthy quote from John Stuart Mill on a misogynist web site warning against giving women freedoms. When I found the quote in context it turns out the quote was Mill being ironic, and showing the stupidity of misogynists for fearing women’s rights.
Just clasping at straws here. Because that cartoon really does suck as it is.
My husband always pays for dinner. That’s because I do all the cooking, unless I feel like grilled cheese sandwich.
*sigh*
You know, I wish the person (persons?) in charge of “the rules” and/or “the game” would really make up their mind.
If you pay for dinner, I’m a gold-digging whore. But if *I* pay for dinner, it’s emasculating and I’m a ball-busting, feminazi.
I JUST CAN’T WIN.
Binjabreel | August 31, 2015 at 3:28 pm
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I thought the intention was clear, but I did have a moment of wondering whether to do my MRA-speak with an asterisk. My apologies.
Next time I want to channel MRA-ese, I’ll try to do it less authentically. :P”
Thanks and it’s ok.
When I was on the school bus I witnessed this girl sexually harass a guy, she kept touching him and then when he gently shoved her away she called him a sexist. She kept bothering him and when I was about to stop her the whole situation got settled. I feel bad that I didn’t do anything sooner. So yeah there are women (minorities in general) who do use the “minority card”
I know a few women who say “it’s not what God wants” when they talk about gender roles but they are the same women who don’t like working and want men to give them everything.
WWTH
Nothing wrong with ranting about stuff like that.
My husband and I have this little social experiment going. When we go out to dinner, I usually pay the bill because we use a special card only for restaurants and I am the one who carries it. (It’s from a joint account). Anyway, the server almost inevitably puts the check in front of my husband. I take the folder, put in the card and leave it near me on the table. So far, 9 out of 10 times, the server puts the check back in front of my husband. So I think there’s still, at the very least, a societal expectation that the man pays, even if it’s unconscious. Hubby is mystified at this. I told him it was called benign sexism.
I noticed that too! In the second panel, she has cleavage, but in the rest, she doesn’t! Do her boobs just magically oonch together and bump up when a dude is staring at them? Because that’s the only way that that whole thing could make sense…
I feel like if you’re getting a meal with someone the whole payment part of it is going to be a little awkward, even if you ARE automatically on the same page about splitting. “So my appetizer was… $8.” “Wait, I think that was my appetizer?” “Oh, whoops, sorry.” “Oh… you’re paying with cash? I only have a card. Uh…”
But if you’re getting drinks with someone, which is the recent-college-grad version of a “dinner-date” (also the recent-college-grad version of “dinner”) one of you can just be like “I’ll get this round” and a system for the night is established, everything is easy, and no one has to have an anxious meltdown over how to pay for salad.
Hippielady,
Interesting. I wonder if that’s a regional thing. Maybe I just haven’t been paying attention, but I swear when I go out the server usually just puts the bill in the middle of the table, or wherever there happens to be room instead of handing it to one person or putting it in front of one person. I’ll have to pay more attention if I ever get back into the dating scene. It’s been awhile and these days I just go with friends or parents.
Sadly, it seems that it’s the whole comic, though it’s on his tumblr and not his website. It’s not the only sexist one he has up, either.
Like this one. http://www.stanleycolors.com/2013/07/assvolution/#disqus_thread
“It’s just a compliment” with a side of evopsych.